what if i fail....?

[trishfish 1]

I see the dr tomorrow after doing all my pre-lim appointments and i should get a surgery date tomorrow too...and i'm starting to get a little scared/nervous.

I have tried and failed countless diets...what if i fail at this? i have an amazing support system around me and am going to continue therapy for my addiction to food...but all this is still not calming that little voice inside telling me i cant do it....and more than the fear of failing its the embarassment of failing...

I'm probably having one of those days...and i am sure i will be fine after meeting with my doctor tomorrow, but today...i had to share this with my lapband friends

[Karlzmom 1]

Hi! I'm still a pre-op and completely relate. Obviously, all of us have tried and failed to get to this point. We all are optimistic for the future, as we need to be, but I suspect you and I are not alone in having the little naysaying voice. How many times have you started the latest program, sure that its the fix, ready to take on the world and still here you are? I know for me its hundreds of times. I don't think its a weakness or failing to have lingering questions and doubts...I think its human and normal.

I will also be continuing therapy post-op, so it seems we have both already taken steps towards coping with our new reality. I draw inspiration from the others here who have gone down this path...each equally beaten down and discouraged who have come out the other end healthier and more satified with their quality of life. I try not to think in terms of success or failure, but in terms of progress. Will it get better? I believe it will. Someday I may be able to think in terms of a hard goal, but for me its the repetitive frustration of not acheiving the "ultimate' that morphs into self sabotage...

Talk candidly with your doctor and therapist. In who's eyes are you afraid of failing? Yours, or someone elses? Work through whichever answer it is with your support system and believe that tomorrow will be better than today. Give yourself permission to not always be at your "Best", but to keep on the journey. Let us know how it goes tomorrow.....

[AnneGG 0]

I think all of us have that little and sometimes loud voice of fear of failure- I know I do. I try to switch the channel in my head and think of how successful I'm going to be, now that I finally have such a useful tool.

Good luck and courage tomorrow! Courage isn't lack of fear, it's keeping your feet moving anyway!

[gingerjane 5]

I think all of us have that same feeling - goodness knows I went through the same thing. We've been through the up/down, up/down so much that naturally we're going to feel that way.

It WILL work. Just keep telling yourself that! Plus, this is a wonderful board full of supportive people. We'll all do this together!

[RavenClaw779 2]

I had surgery about three weeks ago. I lost about 30 pounds on my own pre-op(believe me it was a battle) and 10 since. The scale hasn't budged in a week and meanwhile I am starving and tempted by everything - which led me to eating something I shouldn't have and paying for it. And that little voice is back - as in "Here we go again...how long til it's all back and then some..." I know exactly how you feel and I guess none of us really knows if anything in life we undertake will succeed or fail, but one thing's for sure - to never try is the biggest failure of all.

[Froggie D 1]

I feel the same way. I have lost the same 50 pounds 4 times in my life and in March was at my highest weight ever. :smilielol5:

I am determined to give this all my best effort. I believe the band will work - now I just have to do my part. I know it won't be easy, but I am determined.

Hang in there - I understand!

[BetsyB 9]

I completely understand your feelings. But you will reach a point where you trust the process---and know you will not fail.

It's a process, truly it is. Everything you are experiencing is completely normal---and it's awesome that you're already seeing a therapist to help you deal with these feelings.

[Apples2 19]

I see the dr tomorrow after doing all my pre-lim appointments and i should get a surgery date tomorrow too...and i'm starting to get a little scared/nervous.

I have tried and failed countless diets...what if i fail at this? i have an amazing support system around me and am going to continue therapy for my addiction to food...but all this is still not calming that little voice inside telling me i cant do it....and more than the fear of failing its the embarassment of failing...:smilielol5:

I'm probably having one of those days...and i am sure i will be fine after meeting with my doctor tomorrow, but today...i had to share this with my LAP-BAND® friends

Trishfish...I have a questions for you...What if you DON'T fail? Think of the possibilites if you do not fail! As Besty stated in the above post...it's a process. Take it one step at a time; just as you have the pre-op steps that you have needed to go through.

My personal take: After making the decision to have LapBand surgery, I could FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was FINALLY going to have some help keeping this weight off once I got to goal. You are the one that needs to be vigilant as to making good/healthy food choices, but, with the right restriction, the band will help you along the way.

With determination and the band, and following your doc's advice you have a great chance at a successful outcome. Wishing you the best!

[stargate713 0]

Ditto! I was in my bariatric nurse's office 3 weeks ago crying my eyes out "why should I think this time will be different?" First she reminded me that only 5% of the people who lose it on their own keep it off, and secondly she told me if I weren't having these feelings she'd be worried about me, that I wasn't being realistic about the process. I felt much better...especially knowing that she believed in me...even if my own resolve was wavering. My surgery is Wed.....and at this point I'm feeling a sort of "calm resolve"......that I'm about to begin the rest of my life.

[JoJo1 0]

I did not want to tell anyone I was having surgery because of the same fear. Afterall, nothing has worked before so why should I believe it will now? It did work, and now I don't care who knows. I tell everyone who asks and many people do ask me now. Attitude is everything and you will have success!!! Just Believe!!! Hugs!!!!

[Cingulus 0]

I think every person who has or contemplates the band has had moments of doubt. One thing I have learned from almost 2 years of reading posts and watching those who make it and don't, you have to take the leap before you can have the opportunity to succeed. Someone once said the definition of insanity...is doing the same things over and over again and excepting new results. If you don't take the chance to change you will never get new results.

[AllieKat 0]

Having the fear is normal, there are several of us talking about that over in the "overwhelmed" thread. We have all decided that we forge ahead in spite of the fear, and with hope that it will work because it already has for so many! Have faith, do the work, and in time, you will get results!

[adagray 1]

One of the psychologists who works w/my surgeon's team did a presentation as part of our pre-op education and one of the things he said is that this is the most common fear of people getting any sort of WLS... that I will be the one person it won't work for. But, the reality is that the surgery works and it doesn't matter how many diets you've failed on. This is not like just going on another diet.

I don't know if it helps you any, but it helped me to know this is a common fear that everyone feels. I can tell you now that I'm banded that you would really have to break a lot of rules to not lose weight w/the band (or have some other factor - like a medication preventing weightloss) for it not to work. Basically, even when I'm breaking rules w/the band, I'm still losing weight slowly. If I want to lose weight at a better rate, then I gotta really follow those rules to a T. But, its so much easier to follow the rules (or diet) when you aren't hungry all the time.

Oh, you will also need to be patient because you probably won't feel much restriction until maybe the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th fill. Its a gradual process so it can create a lot of self-doubt, but surely enough, you will see that the pounds come off.

[adagray 1]

Another thing to think about... if WLS surgery didn't have a very high success rate, insurance would never pay for it.

[catmom50 0]

My surgery is Wed.....and at this point I'm feeling a sort of "calm resolve"......that I'm about to begin the rest of my life.

Good luck Cindy, I'm 3 weeks post op and so happy I did this for ME!:thumbup: