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To tell or not to tell, that is the question...



To tell or not to tell  

1 member has voted

  1. 1. To tell or not to tell

    • Tell nobody
      19
    • Tell close friends
      35
    • Tell friends, family and coworkers
      34
    • Tell everyone you meet
      12


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I told people close to me and co-workers that I directly sit around. I figured, let those that I have daily interaction with know, in case I get really sick or even if they notice I'm eating a third of what I use to eat. Every now and again, I still get the, "are you sure that lunch is enough to fill you up" :thumbup: That's a really refreshing statement to hear, instead of last year's, " hey do you want another slice of pizza or do you want to go to Crumbs for cupcakes?" I also find that as other people notice my weight loss, I'm honest with them. I tell the truth; I'm eating healthier, I'm making better choices, I'm more active, and yeah I had lap-band. Regardless of whether they hear everything I said or just the surgery, I make it more about what I'm doing and less about what the band is doing.

Thanks,

Lauren

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I don't judge anyone who chooses to keep this info to themselves...

Very few people know about my surgery... husband, kids, parents, and brother & his wife... and 2 of my closest friends. There are a few people i would LIKE to tell ----- eventually!!! But right now, I have enough stress learning how to eat all over again, how to drink differently, exercise, etc.... it's just overwhelming... the last thing I need are kind, well-intended, and not so-well-intended people asking me the HOW'S? and WHY'S? of my life-changing decision.... ya know?

Good luck to everyone!!!!!:thumbup:

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You know chick, you're right. In my neck of the woods, people would criticize me for paying that much money (i was self pay) for something like this at my age. (54). So I chose not to tell anyone but my immediate family and 2 close friends. It's enough learning this new way of life without others telling me I made a mistake spending all that money.

But you know, today my good friend told me how thin i'm getting and it made my day. That feels real good.

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I told my husband, my mother, and two friends. That's all. One friend is already acting differently and keeps telling me that we can't be friends if I get skinny. It's funny to me and she's says it in a sort of joking, but not joking manner...if that makes sense. I'm only two weeks post-op but she only calls to see how much weight I've lost - not how I'm feeling or anything else. *shrug* I guess as with every phase in life (marriage, babies etc.) you learn who your friends are and who aren't - sometimes you have to purge. We'll see how this goes - but I'm definitely not putting the surgery on blast.

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The only people that know about my surgery are my friend who picked me up from the hospital and his wife who drove my car home. They are very supportive.

This is hard enough and as for me, the last thing I need is

a well meaning friend who has a few pounds to lose or has never had a problem with weight telling me that all I need to do is......................... Or the classics, "Just this little bit won't hurt", "It's a special occasion, treat yourself"............ The only advice I want is from my doctor, nutritionist or the support groups.

Unless someone has battled their weight as we all have, they can't begin to comprehend how difficult this is.

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It seems that half of the state of Texas has had one form of WLS or another.

I tell anyone that cares and a lot that don't.

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My boss told everyone at work, so though I planned to tell them over time, now it is too late. I do wish some of them did not know, because I have some who try to give advice or say what they do--I do not need their help, and it's about me, so I do not care what you do. Some are naturally curious, and I respect that, and have genuine questions. I am just upfront and tell them how I feel. I said all of that to say, whomever you tell, be prepared for how you will deal with their response

Does your boss realize that its against the law to divulge medical information? That's a big no no.

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I had surgery today and no one knew but my b/f. We live together and since he is my SO it is only natural that he knows...he is taking care of me from my surgery. Other than that, the only other person that knows is his mom. I only shared it with her because I lost my mom in 1996 to cancer and my ex-MIL did NOT get along so I am hoping to the friendship I have with his mom continues. No one at work, my kids, my sister, my friends and family...none of them know and I am not sure I will ever tell them. I guess I just don't want to be judged, you know? So many people who DON'T struggle with their weight, don't understand. They think that if you just set your mind to dieting and exercising, then you should be able to lose the weight. I have even heard people I know make comments that having weight loss surgery is "the easy way out". They have NO IDEA what they are talking about! So for me...telling is not something I elected to do.

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I told my mom and three friends at work but that was even hard for me. I was really afraid of their preconceived ideas about losing weight and what the best ways to do it were. My mom has been very supportive, but I'm not telling anyone else in my family. My sister was banded a year ago and she told everyone. She then did not follow the plan, never exercised, and has gone back to normal eating habits. Everyone was very judgmental of her decision and I don't want the same thing to happen to me. Plus, as I was going back and forth on whether I wanted to do this, I decided that I'm doing this for me, not for anyone else. I really don't want or need anyone's opinions on my decision. Although, the support would be nice, I think sometimes people don't understand that what they think is "support" is not really encouraging.

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At first I didn't tell anyone other than my husband. Just before surgery I started telling some family and friends. Now I tell alot more people but I'm not telling anyone at work. It's no one's business and the people can be really judgemental and I don't need to be bothered with that.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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