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Explaining the weight loss



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So here's my situation. I began this journey at 306 lbs. I have followed EVERY word that my doctor has said from day one. I lost 56 lbs pre op. I had surgery on 8/28/09. The surgeon put 3 ccs in the band at surgery. I have had only one more fill since then, that was in October, another 3 ccs. As of this morning (1/11/10) I am down to 193 lbs. I have lost a total of 113 lbs. My family and a few close friends know that I have had the surgery. However now everyone is asking me how I have lost all the weight. I'm never sure what to say. I'm not trying to hide that I had the surgery, but at the same time I am very aware and my doctors have also said that I have had such good results because of the work that I have put into this not just because of the surgery. I am eating the healthiest diet that I have ever ate. I exercise an hour to two hours daily.

Usually when asked I just say I have lost the weight through a lot of hard work, but I always feel like I'm being dishonest. So then I'll tell someone that I had the surgery and I get that look like I took the easy way out.

How are others addressing this question? Do you tell everyone about the surgery? I believe the surgery was a great thing and it has certainly changed my life.

Just wondering???

Thanks, Doug

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HI Doug,

Way to go on the weight loss! Great job!

I too have lost alot of weight and struggled with this question. For most people I tell them that I have changed my whole lifestyle....eat small amounts of healthy food, and exercise. I figure I am not lying because that is exactly what I did. On the other hand I do tell some people about the band surgery because I also want to educate people about weight issues, and the band. Lots of folks have heard stories about people who had weight loss surgery and there is lots of misinformation out there. A few people seem to downplay the weight losss once they find out I had WL surgery...like it is a magic bullet that instantly makes it easy to lose lots of weight. I worked my Buns off to lose the weight and am very proud of all that I have accomplished in the last 2 years...those people annoy me. Most folks are incredibly supportive and those that aren't may have issues of their own. Do what feels best to you Doug and again congratulations on all your hard work!!! :blush:

Barb

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Hi! While I'm not losing as fast as you all (fabulous job!) I tell people I'm seeing a doctor who is helping me. That and exercise and better food choices, smaller portions. All true without people knowing my private business!

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I tell people I want to tell, and don't tell others. Really, explanations aren't owed, and there's no reason to feel dishonest for omitting details you don't wish to share.

OTOH, I'm awfully glad that one of my son's friend's father chose to share with me that he'd been banded; I was on the fence and he was a good resource.

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I was recently banded but it is starting to show. Very few people know because I am a private person.

I have a very honest answer when asked:

I modified my lifestyle.

No need to go into details---I'm not lying.

Congratulations on your success!!!

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Your not giving yourself enough credit. You have worked hard for this and you are being honest when you say that. Don't feel like you have to tell people if your uncomfortable telling. Many people have this surgery but don't do the work involved. Be proud that you workout and eat right. Congrats on all your hard work paying off.

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I know exactly what you mean, I don't want to get "the look" so I've thought about it myself. I think the best thing for me to do is to go ahead and tell the truth and to hell with whatever negative thing they think about me.

But with that said, if you feel too uncomfortable telling the truth, just tell them what you HAVE done. You HAVE exercised more and you HAVE eaten less. They don't have to know about the band on your stomach. Most people don't understand how the band works anyway and think it's like bypass, and as we all here know it's nothing like it. It's a tool and we have to use it. You have worked hard so don't let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve to feel good about yourself because you do! :blush:

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Thanks for the comments everyone. I feel like I have told the people that matter most to me. No one else needs to know all the details.

New Joy, I like the answer that you come up with... a "Modified Lifestyle". That truly is what I have done. I will use this as my response from now on, and hopefully I won't have to get "the look".

As always thanks for the support that this board offers!

Doug

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You tell the the obvious truth (and no more): You are eating MUCH less food, staying hydrated and exercising. Tell them "Yeah, it's been difficult at times but losing keeps me motivated".

That IS the truth, with one omission and if you don't want them to know you had the surgery then don't tell them! In truth, the band is this big helper but just getting the band would not have achieved any weight loss. You've don't the work you needed to do.

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I usually just tell them I had weight loss surgery. I have gotten "the look" a few times, often followed by "but your exersizing too, right?"

I thought about not telling people, but I suck at lying (or hiding details), and felt it wasn't worth the energy to do it.

If I get "the look", so be it. Their not the ones who had to live in my pre-op body, so they can keep their judgements to themselves.

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I tell people that I'm watching what I eat and exercising. I feel the surgery is a personal thing for me. Only my family and best friend knows.

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I would tell people "I am eating the healthiest diet that I have ever ate. I exercise an hour to two hours daily. " That's the truth, right? Do you think if you just got the band, but didn't exercise and ate Haagen Das all day you would have the success you are? Go ahead and tell people about the changes you have made and don't feel dishonest, because it's not. YOU, your mindset and the changes you made are a large part of your success. I'm not telling anyone about my surgery. It's no one's business but my own.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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