green

Urgh! Green has got the blues. She has just come home from spending a number of days in the Canadian wilderness at her in-law's cottage. Bad food, many, many bug bites, some weight gain, and, oh yah, really bad food! Apart from the trillion goddam bugs not too many animals, eh. haha :heh:

Haha. Thanks, kiddo, from Charlie green. I gotta confess I always feel talking with you, grrl.:kiss2:

So sorry, Gadget, for much as I respect you and enjoy many of our communications I must insist that the glory of your great country was that it was created as a haven from religious specificity. The folks who framed your Constitution were careful. They wanted to make this document both an open and a closed one; that is to say that they were anxious to ensure that all Americans would find themselves welcome in their home and at the same time they wished to ensure that their Constitution - and thus the freedom of all American citizens - would remain impregnable from any attack. To hinge the health of your citizens upon such private and religiously based charities as those which you list in your post isn't right. Universal is universal and this is the profound, indeed revolutionary power of your American Constitution. Your Constitution is the first state document ever which formally guarantees the same protection for all citizens residing in its territory. I am fully aware that America did undergo a war in order to obtain its independence. Indeed I share your birthdate, 4th of July. What I guess I wish to emphasize is that your birth was, apart from the war of Independence, extremely interesting. Those who framed your Constitution were very anxious to make sure that everyone who chose to come to America would be made welcome and would be regarded as being of equal value and as having equal voice. This is why I find myself getting antsy over the notion of health care being made available to those who are in distress under a religious or partisan banner. Inclusive is better, I think.

I am truly horrified by some of the notions which I have been reading about universal/socialised health care in the past few pages of this thread. As you all know I live in Canada, one of those countries where we have universal health care. We still do have the right to choose our doctors. I have tried out and rejected a number of individuals before choosing my doc. We do have clean sheets in our hospitals. We do have modern medical techniques. We do have medical accountability. We do have a booming economy. We are an affluent country. Our economy is globally connected and is based on the capitalist model. Oh, and as to the weirdest objection to universal medicare, the one about lawsuits - this lawsuit culture is one which is specific to the United States. It is simply impossible in Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and inside industrialised Europe to levy dollar damages of an American scale. In fact my brother's one hesitation about moving stateside in order to practice medicine was the enormous insurance malpractice liability payments which each and every American doctor must pay in order to cover his/her arse. While medical lawsuits do happen in Canada, these depend on the tragic results of specific misbehaviour. An individual who has suffered a heart attack in a Walmart's parking lot after having ignored a lot of general good advice cannot expect to sue and win anything in most countries. And indeed why should they?

It is important to recognise those feelings to which you have a right. You should not feel that you must mask these because they are not kind, nurturing, forgiving, Christian, or lady-like. At the same time it is important that none of us indulge in victimology. This is a fine line indeed as such fellow members as Monk will tell us.

I am very much with BJean on this issue. I have suffered from feelings of anger and bouts of major depression throughout my life and it is difficult, especially difficult for us women, to sort through these emotions and 'own' those which are rightfully ours. Strong emotions are difficult for the civilized human creature to deal with and such emotions are particularly difficult for women to deal with because they are considered to be crude, brutish, irrational, uncivilized, and unfeminine. On my initial visit with my psychologist, a woman to whom I had been referred by my doc during a recent and the most crippling bout of depression I have ever experienced, she wanted to know what was wrong. I said I was so depressed I could hardly move and I also mentioned that I had major anger management issues. I answered that I was prone to either aggressive responses or to hostile fantasies towards those who irritated me. She listened to all of this, a list of my personal wounds and failures, and then told me that I was a step ahead of most women. She said that women were kind of nervous about owning up to the really savage emotions, rage being the biggy. And what a surprise for me! I thought that I was such a poor woman because I was so animal like, because I was and still am such an angry grrl. Go figure, eh......

<p>Oooh, Green is currently preening her kinda sorta thinnish and rather prune-like self. <img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/kiss2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Kiss2" smilieid="154" class="inlineimg" /><img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/kiss2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Kiss2" smilieid="154" class="inlineimg" /><img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/kiss2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Kiss2" smilieid="154" class="inlineimg" /><img src="http://www.LapBandTalk.com/images/smilies/kiss2.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Kiss2" smilieid="154" class="inlineimg" /></p>

I believe that everyone has the right to comment on any topic regarding children. Those of us who do not have children are still members of the human race and though we have not met the second half of the equation - we have not become parents - we certainly were children. Indeed it might be argued that it is because of the damage we sustained during round one that we have opted out of entering into round two. We all should be allowed a voice, I think.

WasaBB is entirely correct. Many "big" businesses are run on the franchise plan and so when you do business at your local Quizno's you are dealing with a local owner and local workers whom he/she has hired. This means that when a local Quizno's has gone belly-up a local family has lost their business and a source for local unskilled labour has disappeared, too. As for tipping in such places as the Olive Garden, well, whether the place is a franchise or a local outlet of a national conglomerate, certainly the waitstaff are local. These individuals are likely to be young people and may even be the kids of friends of yours or your parents. When you tip them you are giving back into your local economy. And although I have already stated that I have mixed feelings about the concept of tipping it has become established as part of the service industry economy. By stiffing someone for his or her tip you are not going to revolutionise the industry. You are, however, going to hurt a specific individual. This is an unkind act. I figure that if you have enough bucks to eat in a restaurant then you have enough backs to tip the waiter for the tip is part of the price of your meal. And by the way, nursekathy, I have got to say that I am oh so charmed by your gorgeous loosey-goosey fun way with some dollars here and there. I've got a hunch that what you are doing is a bunch of fun, mo fun than givin' to charity or payin' taxes in a socialised state. You go, grrl!

To tell you the truth, vallin, I am a politickally correct and sensitive Canadian and thus I find that I cannot bring myself to name the minority group/s who have a tougher time of making a success of life in Canada, specifically urban Canada (for this is where most new immigrants now come) for fear of stigmatising this/these group/s on LBT. I wouldn't want to be responsible for LBT folk thinking dismissive or unkind thoughts about entire groups of individuals. But the fact that some of our new citizens have many more problems becoming successful citizens is an issue in my large and multicultural city. And we Canadians are far too polite and far too sensitive to point this out and ask why. I really am sorry that my answer to your question is so vague but this is the best that I can do. :phanvan

I love having gone from the W for wide size pants to size 12/10 normo pants. I love the compliments. I love having a healthy BMI. I love having leftover food to take home whenever I eat in a restaurant. I love not being hungry all the time.

Hi to Lisa in TO and to everyone else from Green in TO. I was at the TLBC this morning in order to get a small defill and I met a clutch of newbies who were coming in for their first fills. This was kinda fun. They asked me lots of questions and this reminded me of my first fill and all the worries I had at the time. I was banded last September and I am now down around my target weight; I weigh 148 lbs. My BMI is 23.9. I am very, very pleased about all of this. I am, however, finding some of the "shock and awe" reactions which I have been getting kind of strange to deal with. I hadn't realised that people had been noticing that I was fat, you see. In regard to your questions about the operation, Rose S, I was 57 when I was banded and I had very little difficulty recovering from the surgery. The first 3 days I spent reading, napping, and really enjoying the pain meds while staying in bed. The 4th day I got up, had a bath, got dressed and spent the day on the internet. The worst pains I had were from gas. I should have walked around more than I did; that would have helped make them go away faster.

That salad sounds good.

Yah, that bit of logic shocked me, too!!!! :faint::faint::faint:

Wow! Your post just reminded me that we had coin-operated toilets in all the department stores, etc in Toronto when I was a kid but everyone would hold the door open for the next person as they exited the cubicle which totally defeated the greedy pee merchants. Now we can all pee for free. Yippee!

@Liz1531, Doddie63 is right. We will be your support group and your bandster family. Getting banded is not taking the easy way out; it is taking advantage of a modern medical technique and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Obesity is a medical problem, and not simply an issue of laziness or moral weakness. There are many people, most of them of normal weight, who still don't understand this. Yo-yo dieting is much more destructive for both your body and your feelings of self-worth. Having the band installed is a simple day surgery for most of us. The long term effects of obesity can lead to high blood pressure, the need for knee replacements, diabetes, high cholesterol, depression..... Try to ignore your family's negativity and focus on other things. I know that this will be difficult but we are here for you.

Raising the head of the bed seems like a good suggestion to me. I've just mentioned this to my husband, a long time reflux sufferer, but he's afraid that he won't get enough oxygen to his brain while he is sleeping and that his heart won't gets its rest! How much higher should the head be?

Male cats won't spray if you neuter them while they are still young. Six months is a good age to rob them of their nuts.

Monk, I agree with the folks who have posted above. You have taken a terrible personal experience and used it in order to help others. This is taking lemons and making lemonade in a big time way. :whoo:

I sure have a hard time with beggars and with begging. My parents came from Europe and survived the Second World War. My mother came from minor Scottish aristocracy and this was a culture where any discussion of money was considered to be dreadfully vulgar. My father was a Polish Jew who ran away from Poland in 1937 and made his way through pre-war Europe on his wits. He was lucky in that he eventually washed up in England. He was luckier still that he eventually hooked up with my mother. They chose to come to Canada because they were aware that their marriage would not stand a chance in class and race conscious Britain. Their life in Toronto was fairly difficult but they ended up doing well in their new home. We children were raised in an environment where we were expected to make our own way. What our parents contributed to us was unlimited access to education, something which they viewed as a tool. We were never given cars, designer clothes, or anthing of that nature. And we were shot down whenever we asked for this stuff. In many ways this was terribly humiliating for us as children for we saw our peers living much better than we did. At the same time, all three of us sibs grew up to live financially solid lives. None of us had debt load, all of us owned property, and we all had additional investments, ones which could carry us through a rainy day. Still, I carry emotional wounds from being forced to live poor when my family was living in an upper middle class milieu. I still hurt from being forced to wear geeky loser clothes when all the other girls were wearing cute trendy gear. When it comes to those who are asking for tips or who begging for money in such a crass and irritating fashion, I find myself thrust into an array of complicated emotions. There is a part of me that says that it is vulgar to ask for money and that if you want money you should work for it. This is what I have been taught by my European parents. There is another part of me that says that these are hard-working individuals who are working in low paying service jobs and that these people are as desireous of and are in as much need of money as any corporate lawyer or plastic surgeon. They simply can't raise it as easily or as gracefully and so they must resort to tacky reminders that their services are also not without value.

I am going to speak to my doc about Chantix, grrls. I am still a smoker even though I am taking Wellbutrin and I would like to quit but I am deeply addicted. I hope this drug is available up here in Canada.

Thanks for the advice, Gailannr.

Lee4, I must tell you that I always enjoy reading your posts. I love the honesty, thought and the love that you put into them and into your life as I understand it from reading your comments. I will tell you that I grew up in the era of feminism, an era where we women needed to claim equal rights and standing, and so we were anxious to let ourselves and the rest of the world know that we can stand on our own feet and do not need to depend upon men. I have since noticed that children who grow up in families lacking responsible, stable, and loving adult males - fathers or fatherly-type adults (uncles, grandfathers, etc) - seem to miss them and to suffer on some deep level, both boys and girls. Sometimes it seems to me that if children are to be left with only one parent to raise them they may be better off with their fathers for they will find a series of good and nurturing women as role models in their schools, in the mothers of their friends, etc. My great niece is being raised alone by her mother and her contacts with loving and fatherly men are few. This little kid is always on the hunt for fathering. Fortunately my brother is anxious to take a hands-on role with his grand-daughter but he lives in Virginia and the child lives in Canada. I have also noted the same thing with my husband's 2 nieces. Their mother and father have been engaged in an ugly on-going divorce which has been going on for years. The kids live in France but spend their summers here in Canada. They adore my husband and he adores them. They have told him many times over the years that they consider him to be their real father and he is a kind, loving, and hands-on dad with them. These kids are still really young; the elder one is only 11 and the younger one is now 8. My husband has been their summertime father for at least 5 years. Little girls need to be around good men. This is how they will learn to avoid the bad ones when they grow up. Little boys need to be around good men. This is how they learn to become good men when they grow up. I confess that I am inclined to grow angry when I hear of women and men making babies carelessly. It is always the children who suffer and I don't believe that any woman who really loves her children can be so careless about the way she chooses to introduce them into this world. Afterall, folks can have sex without getting pregnant, eh. I am very happy to hear that you are the one who is raising your boys. It is very cool that your boys have a daddy. It is very cool that you are teaching them to enjoy school and that they are learning about nutrition. Knowledge is always power. That they have Sickle Cell Anemia is terribly sad news. This is hard on the boys and on you. You are right: it takes two parents for this illness to be passed on and it is not your fault. It is a question of genetics is all. I guess you are aware that this genetic aberation originated in connection with malaria. I guess you may know that eastern European Jews also have a terrible genetic disease which is passed on in the same horrible fashion as Sickle Cell Anemia. The disease is called Tay-Sachs, and any baby born with this will die, a horrible experience for its parents to watch. For a baby to have Tay-Sachs it must receive the defective gene from both parents.

Ah, I have had a set back.... Let me explain. I guess that I am now kinda at or around goal. When I was first banded the surgeon's Tanita hi-tech scales, body fat and BMI machine print-out said that my goal was to weigh 155 lbs. At my last weigh-in I weighed 154lbs. My BMI was 24.9. Now the office tells me that I could lose another 10 lbs if I wanted to. I received these results and this advice when I went in for my latest fill 5 or 6 weeks ago. But since my latest fill I have been suffering from a bad case of acid reflux and my throat and upper esophagus have come to feel like they have been painted with acid. It took me a long time to figure this out. You see, for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have had a sore throat and I was thinking that I was either fighting off a cold or had cancer. I even mentioned it to my doc who attempted to have a look. She wasn't all that successful. I have a terrific gag reflex, dammit! Then I began to develop an annoying little cough. I finally woke up to the fact that my throat hurt worse when I was lying down in bed and then I remembered Carlene's post about her problems with band related acid reflux. As it happens my husband has acid reflux and when it is out of control he has the same annoying little cough. I also took note that my sore throat was worse on the side which I routinely sleep on. In fact this was the Eureka! factor. And so I finally phoned up yesterday afternoon in order to arrange a defill and I explained that I have a painful case of acid reflux. The fill nurse said that a defill is definitely indicated. This is my story and I am posting it here because I figure that it may be of interest to the rest of the gang. I also researched acid reflux. It seems that all my favourite foods and drinks are verboten and that it will help the sufferer if she sleeps with her stomach lower than her esophagus - less chance of backwash, you see. So now I have co-opted most of the pillows on our bed in order that I might sleep in a semi-sitting up position. I also take my nighttime array of meds hours before crawling into bed. The above story is all about the bad and the ugly. And now I will tell you about the good. My husband and I went out for lunch yesterday to an Italian restaurant which we like. As it happens we haven't been there for awhile and the owner also happened to be on site. While my husband was paying the bill she approached him and said, "your wife has lost a lot of weight." She was clearly interested in how I had lost the weight and at one point asked if I had been ill. He kept quiet about the band but she did tell him that she thought that I looked fabulous. This was a nice compliment coming from a woman who is both elegant and rather icy in her personal manner.

Oops! Crossed posts, eh. Lee4, why is it that some women go around carelessly having children by a lot of different men who don't even care about these kids? Kids who don't have fathers in their lives are missing out on something very important. And kids who live in single parent families are more likely to live in poverty and suffer stress.