TracyinKS

You will only need ONE! Congrats!

My doc allowed me coffee before I even left the hospital... I drink coffee every day, so no problems there.. the ONLY thing he said we have to give up is WHITE DOUGHY BREAD, due to the gluten level. The one thing I can not tolerate is refried beans.. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. Each doc is different. He even gives us our pop back after the first month.

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!! I am just a hair under 5'5", I carry my weight pretty evenly.. my problem area's are my arms.... I know that I have a at least a couple pounds of fat in each batwing.. LOL... I need to get my water in today... I've been slacking on it....... I think I have restriction.. so I'm hoping that I drop some weight now, but then I think that 243 is a far cry from 272 because I would of been even heavier by now had I not stopped the insanity. Have a great day!

First.. BooBoo Kity: I think you husband knows your awake but is insecure enough to take the chicken way out by the "OUT" of you pretending to be asleep... (does that make sense?) He figures that you'll answer when your ready to end the silence.... Silent treatment drive me INSANE, as I am a venter... Dbf is a runner and that pisses me off... it all boils down to some crap ass sense of insecurity on all parts.... In my old life I would of dumped the spaghetti on his head, but if I did it to dbf he would leave and never come back and I would be stuck with the bills and broken hearts (both mine and my sons) The mother issue.................... I started my period at age 9 but didn't tell my mom til I was 11, because I felt she would embarass me by telling EVERYONE... I am heavy like her.. and a classic yo yo dieter going up and down the scale just like she has always done.. and she is one of the hardest people on me about it..... I love her dearly, and we talk daily via phone and email, but I can relate... I do hold her at more of a distance in some respects and that I know is hurtful. I just pray that I don't alienate my own child so that he hold me at a distance in his adult years............... Oh yeah......... Dbf would never agree to counseling about our lack of sex... most likely he would turn it around that it was my fault... (again a sign of insecurity) going to bed now.........

Happy 5th of July! CUTE salad, and it looks very tasty.. and congrats for hitting the 220's! Jenn: HOLY CRAP BATMAN YOU ARE A HaWTIE.. that dbf better shape up fast before someone better catches your eye! Congrats on the Levis too! KAT: that is so scarey about Kinsey.. HUGS go out to you. I believe Michelle (MDRI) is on vacation this week. EVeryone else.. HIYA! We had a busy long day yesterday and today felf like Monday.. YUCK lots of running around before and after work.... but drumroll......... I have restriction........ Today I have 1) Nibbled on a grilled burger 2)about 5 bites of a small side salad, Toppings off 3 pieces of pizza (I did try the hard part of the crust ONE bite and NOPE wasn't gonna go so I only ate the toppings) and I am still full... 4 hours later! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I didn't do very good on my water today, but I hope it keeps up and I start catching up to everyone! I DID however wear a pair of size 16 levis today... (old/stretch) and they were tight.. but DBF said my butt looked real good in them! So I shook it at him..

Bumping! Waiting for a post!

Thanks everyone.. I kind of put myself out there with that..... I have asked him why, and he says he just doesn't know... he's tired, he's stressed... he did grow up overweight before puberty but once it hit he shot up to 6'4" and although he has gained some weight in his gut he still wears a 36-38 jean........ this is kind of sad... but once early on in the realationship he let it slip that he and the ex used to fight about sex, well not really fight .. he quickly added and then changed the subject.. I always thought it was her not wanting it but I've come to realize that it must of been the opposite. They never had sex without a condom unless they were trying to concieve...... anyway I don't want to dwell on it any more tonight it is a fact of my life and I know that overall its not the most important thing....... but I would like to remember what it was like.. had I known the last time would be the LAST I would of tried to remember ... and maybe I would of went out with that massuse just one more time........... I will be looking into the self help books.. great idea

I am not updating my pics because I look fatter now than I did then! SAd but true.. maybe by my next fill July 30th I will be lower than my last pic post.... Judy: Glad you and DH made it back! I had about a cup of runny spaghetti sauce tonight for dinner.. I really wanted the cheesy garlic bread dbf made but I KNOW it would of been painful so I stayed away...... (ok so I licked a piece when no one was looking and then scraped the cheese of one) but it was gooooooooooooooooooooooood

Do I post? Do I continue to keep to myself on this subject? what the hell.. I'll post...... I can't remember the last time I had sex with dbf, and we've only been together for a little over two years.... the person who says we have bills and kids in common.. I second that.. a lot of bills and a lot of kids.. same morale ethics, same family goals..... but no sex and the most physical contact is a simple peck on the lips at night and in the morning before work..... things started slowing down immediately in the sex department literally a few months into our relationship he started pushing my hands away and it has gone downhill since (and I was in a size 10/12 at the time) God love my mother but she once teased me that he wasn't interested because I had once again REGAINED all my weight.... geesh thanks mom.... anyway my issues go way back with sex.... I was "devirginized" by my exhusband who was also my highschool sweetheart.. we were together for 17 years.. I'd never even SEEN another mans privates until I got divorced LOL... (he cheated on me and left me via note one new years eve) I had no clue, and was devestated.. I though our lack of sex for the 3 months prior was because of his depression over a friends near fatal accident... ANYWAY I swore that I would never go that long without sex again... because had I given him more maybe he wouldn't of cheated... never really liked sex that much.. wasn't adventurous and it was always quick.. (happens a lot I think when two kids grow up together and never learn anything new) OK.. so got divorced immediately hooked up with the rebound psyco loser that immediately cheated on me and got this formerly infertile girl preggers.......... a baby later I finally booted his abusive loser ass to the curb and THEN I WAS REBORN!!!!!!!!! at 34 I was free to date and have fun... I lost 80 lbs and looking good, feeling great, and anxious grandma's to babysit on weekends the miracle baby... I discovered that indeed I did LIKE sex..... I bought books on learning to give myself an orgasm... (because I've never had one) to this day I have no idea what its really like, or if I've had fleeting moments of one and don't know it... I'm almost 40 and don't know what all the talk is about....... sad but true.... yeah I've faked it.. yeah when guys found out they wanted to be the first.... so I let them think it....... but I honestly don't know if I have or not..... OK.. so I had a year of dating around and having fun... and then I met DBF and at first we had sex every day........ and then it was every week, then it was was a couple times a month........ and now I don't know... I do know that I quit buying my BC Ring in december because it was a waste of money...... it hurts my feelings to be denied so I just quit asking or initiating... I've tried to talk to him about it and he just gets pissed off....... I kind of blew up after my band was put in, I lifted my shirt and asked him to feel for my port.. he said NO it kind of grossed him out.. I said WHAT???? He laughed and said that the thought of a port freaked him out and it was gross to him...... TEARS, followed by exclaimination....... "GREAT! NOW MY BAND GROSSES YOU OUT.. WE ARE NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN ARE WE???" he replied... "JESUS TRACY! Not this AGAIN!" and stomped off to the living room to watch TV. I was left in the kitchen crying and the subject has not been broached again........ (btw his ex wife cheated on him and that is why they are divorced.. I'm guessing he has always had a low libido and yes he wakes up every morning with impressive wood, which I have literally tried to take advantage of and was jokingly swatted away) I have increasingly put on weight since the rejection started happening.. About October of 2005.. he also cooks and would get upset if I didn't eat what he fixed.. the women in his family are heavy.... I know he is deeply insecure about stuff, but extremely macho to the world and even to himself. The problem is that he is a great guy, we don't have kids together but our blended family includes 4 boys that love each other.. he is my sons dad in every way but biology and the same with his boys. We are all about raising kids and doing things as a family and growing old together and yes getting married......... but in my minds eye.. do I go ahead and get married knowing that I will most likely NEVER have intercourse again. I guess my self esteem. I was suprised when he supported my decision to have the band.. he said that he loved me no matter what but he knew that the weight gain had been depressing me...... he did however want to know how it would affect him, and for me to know that I shouldn't expect him to change the way he eats..... he has been pretty good about it.... as he is with most things.. except sex....... and I do miss it... I feel that at 37 I am too young to give it up, especially when there is a very avaible WORKING piece of equipment hooked to the man I love... its not fair that he doesn't want to spend the energy to use it. I do have toys, and I swear some time I'm going to take a day off work to be alone with myself! LOL

snackasorus!!!!!!!!! good one

seminar in Jan.......... insurance approve by Jan 28, surgery scheduled for April 26... Self pay the wait would of been 2-3 weeks, because I could of had it done at the doctors hospital

Checking this thread to see the outcome.. p.s. Sara.. I LOVE your signature image!

Good Afternoon all!!!!!!!!! I'm hoping that this 2.75 cc's helps my restriction.. I see everyone passing me by on the overall weight loss and it is depressing to be left waving from the back... (I KNOW its my eating) The scale did go back down today after a day of being good ... but I'm gaining and relosing the same 7 lbs... I REALLY need to get on track with what I'm putting in my mouth.. I somewhat feel like I'm already cheating the band before I have ANY success...... maybe a good dose of restriction will help tame those experiments I do. I am on day two of Liquids... tomorrow being the 4th we are going to a cookout/block party where good food will be a plenty... last year I grazed all day.. this year I'm hoping to be full and make good quality choices....... Our contribution is Fruit.... so we have iced down two watermelons, I bought banannas, tangerines, bing cherries, seedless grapes...... man oh man do I love bing cherries! I know it all so high in carbs but I will no doubt be eating a few of my favs. Angie: SO GREAT TO SEE YOU POSTING!!!! Kat: Many Many Many prayers go out to your precious grandbaby! Laura: The nuptuals are fast approaching girl!!!!! before too long you will be an old married lady! Everyone have a WONDERFUL DAY!

I went back a few pages and caught up on posts! I am on liquids due to my fill and I am wanting to CHEW something and those recipes BOTH of them sound like pure heaven! I will be making those nuts for sure... (I love crock pot cooking) the salad is right up my alley too............ YUM! I am IN on the exercise challenge... Judy: Good luck with your fills today! and YOU LOOK MARVELOUS! OK.. I'm going to bed with a growling tummy ..... gnight Violets!

Terry and I must of been posting at the same time....... I want to make sure that my post doesn't come off as preachy... in Terry's son's case it WAS the cure for him and I would never question another parents choices.. as we are the ones who know our kids the best...... and if when the time comes for me to face medication or expulsion I will have to have a long chat or two with the doctor........ it really does worry me though... my sons bio is the poster child for Adult Undiagnosed ADHD... seriously in my Child development class we had a chapter on it and the handout explaining the symptoms/personality traits was him to a T.. not one, not three.. but each and every of the 20 items on the list.. and that scares me............ nature vs nurture... DNA vs Envirnonment..... All I can say is that each parent has to do the research and really look at their child as an individual outside the womb. .... (and I admit, it may be easier said than done for me! ) p.s. Terry: Thank goodness he is on his way to recovery and dealing with the pressures of school and peers without resorting to the illegal side of it.

I truly have mixed emotions on the subject....... I know I will most likely be fighting the battle in a few years as my sons half brother has it, and after learning a bit about the disease I truly think his father has it also, but not diagnosed........ the one thing that kids with TRUE adhd can do is to have a shot of caffiene in the mornings. Drugs work oposite in ADHD.. ie caffiene = mellow, that is why their medical drugs are all uppers. Also I would limit sugar and processed foods.... many many many studies have shown the ADHD is over diagnosed when in reality is just alergies to certain foods....... (think Red Dye) I will tell you this... I will be fighthing tooth and nail to keep my son off drugs. I know some teachers who swear by them because it does enable the child to learn and to not disrupt the rest of the class........ my son was even evaluted by the special education COOP in October and she told me that the fact that he could sit and play with a single toy (Mr. Potatoe Head) for a good twenty minutes told her that he did NOT have ADD or ADHD.. this was music to my ears.. and now he is in the Special Ed pre-K program so that he can learn to listen, and follow directions.. at 3 he has an IEP....his teacher and I both work with him as a team and it is my hope that we teach him how to be productive in a classroom setting so that he has the best start at school.. BEFORE they DEMAND he goes on DRUGS................. he is so much better behaved when he does not eat sugar... I do let him have a treat, but I do watch it... plus he will have the DNA to be heavy so that is another reason why I have him drink water and milk and yes my crystal light in leui of pepsi and sugared koolaid as much as possible.

any better yet Haydee?????

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!! Ok GOOD LUNCHTIME!!!!!!! I'm back from TN after a girls weekend and I had my second fill today! I had GAINED a pound, (but I know that it was Water retention because my feet and hands are swollen from all the drinking and eating I did over the weekend) but STILL ... a GAIN! Because of this and because my portion sizes are to large the doctor gave me an additional 1.25 cc's on top of the 1.5cc's I already had. (I have the small band).......... soooooo.. I believe that my ass will be clamped down now! 2.75cc in a 4cc band.. OH MY! I'm drinkin a Protein Shake right now......... I plan to knock his socks off when I go back on July 30th. Terri: at 240-247ish that I am right now, I can wear some of my old size 16's when I last weighed 174-198.. I was in most size 12 pants.... and some even stretcy size 10's.......... but from looking at your body pics I know one of the reasons why my size would differ from yours.... Alot of my weight is carried in my ARMS and BOOBS......... you already have tank toppable arms and the only way I will EVER have them is surgery. Also like Haydee my clothes in question are stretch versions. I am a hair under 5'5" and pretty balanced in my proportions (except my arms and breasts)

Good evening Violetts! Well tomorrow a.m. I am off for a girls weekend... NO BOYS, dbf is kind of pouty because he will have all four of them alone for the weekend! ME... well I'm going to enjoy it! I am flying into Nashville and then driving to Hendersonville and staying a a place on the lake... the only downer is that the weather is calling for rain.... and I had my hear set on a raft in the lake with a smut book and a dt dr pepper and rum and many good talks with friends............. Every time I'm set to go somewhere I start missing my son and all sorts of stupid crap creeps in my head.... I guess its a hold over from his miracle entrance into this world (former infertility)......... I hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll check in on Monday.. which is also FILL #2 day... 9:30 a.m. :eek:

Whooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!

GOOOOD MORNING VIOLETS! Lunasa: HUGS! and like others have said........ RUN don't walk to your doctor and demand a fill! You have NOT wasted your money, you have not wasted you time! Several of us are on the slow road to slimmer.. I'm right there with you! I too worry that you are on the brink of depression. At times I feel the same.. look at my first face pic.. I was so depressed after facing the scale........... that was is a defeated woman totally wallowing in self hate ......... but then look at my May 11 pic... That is a woman full of hope and a sense of self a woman with the twinkle of sucess in her eyes........ Since that photo I have went up and down 10 lbs and I know that after this weekend I will most likely show up at my docs office weighing the same or more than I did the month prior....... Yesterday I was beating myself up for eating that bagel and eating that icecream.. and then my sister pointed out to me.......... "Tracy are you kidding me???.......... IS THAT ALL YOU ATE???? That is NOTHING!" and I guess she was right.. I was so depressed about eating all that carby crap that I had lost focus of the minimal amount of actual FOOD put into my mouth....... In the mood I was in yesterday eating that stuff would of sent me into a "oh well what the hell" binge prior to the band.. now even with minimal restriction It is no longer physically possible. Yes, I can still eat a plate of food, but not 4... I can not wait til I can only eat 1 cup of food and be full......... that my friend is when we WILL start losing......... I think everyone who posts on our little thread has bits of invaluable advice and wide experiences that benefit us each in different ways. If I could reach accross the pond and give you a big hug and a boot in the butt I would... I would say "Shake it off Sister you are NOT alone!" Know that we are here struggling right along with you. In other news: I did get up and go to the gym this morning but it was only for a mere 30 minutes as DBF had to leave the house early. This my friends is a major NSV, because normally this would of been a WONDERFUL excuse not to go at all! Instead I set the alarm for 4:00 a.m. and was waiting for the club to open at 4:30 a.m. I left by 5:05 a.m. came home and did some laundry and packed my bag for my GIRLS weekend!

HELLLLLLLLLLLLO!!!!! I woke up and was at the gym by 4:45 a.m., did 45 minutes of the Lady Maximus Circuit (similar to Curves) and then I decided to try the Early Bird step class!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHH MY Goodness........ it is amazing that I had any sweat left in me because it was pouring out. I really like the instructor.. I told her that I had to leave by 6 a.m. and she took the time to introduce herself and then show me a few of the basic steps..... I still got lost, but my heart rate was up. I will most likely start making that my Monday Wednesday a.m. class............. so that was good.... Then........ my son (almost 4) threw a grouchy fit and ended up slipping on the hardwood floor busting open his chin on the coffee table and we had to make a trip to the ER........ His first ever stitches....... 6 total. Its under your chin (where a double chin starts)....... He now realizes that fit throwing is NOT worth it, because he can swim for a week or more and he missed out on skating today...... So then that leaves me to the STUPID ASS THING I DID.......... I smashed a plain bagel and toasted it, thinking that since it was squashed flat and toasted that I would be able to eat it........ was fine til the last bite and then the slime began! Finally before lunch time I was done but my throat was sore....... so I just had a diet coke float (from Wendy's) I did tell them to fill it with mainly diet coke and less icecream, but yes I did still eat every finger licking bite....... my throat is better and my tummy is full........ needless to say...... I'm having either eggs or tuna for dinner to make up for the calories and carbs I ate earlier today. I too think my face in last nights pics looks fatter than my 1 month pic.. I am somewhat disgusted with myself for not losing more by now, but I know that my next fill will help and I know the exercise will help... but dang it..... I'm still pissed at myself for eating crap undoing all my good works...... this is my self sabotaging ways at work....... its just a good thing that I physically can't eat that damn bagel... and now I KNOW it. Laura: I love your pics that you posted on the before and after page! You are such a young looking miss thang! and as for you mom...... Yeah.. I know...... Food Police Suck! Dbf called while I was sucking down the float and he made a smart ass comment about since it had the word DIET in it that it was ok......... ( I said well its better than regular pop!!!) Like Michelle's DH.. he isn't as well versed in the fill methodology as we are. Now its time to down some water.. I am doing an employee orientation in a few minutes and then I have a dentist appointment... I'll try to check in later

Oh Jenn... sorry.. this job search really stinks! Hows the pizza job going? Jane: So glad your surgery is over and done with.. sending out the healing vibes! OK.. going to bed... night

OK michelle......... right click on the avatar and then save it to your computer then go to your USERCP and click Edit Avatar, Select CUSTOM and then go find it on your computer. The max size is 50 x 50 pixels which is why they are tiny..... I have posted your photos to Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket (its free and easy) I may play around with your pics tomorrow when I get to work.. but for tonight here they are.. THEY ARE GREAT! Margi and TracyK congrats on your second fill!!!!!!!!!! I took my two month pics tonight and I will crop them down tomorrow and make some sense of them.... but for right now my family is missing me... and dbf is pouty because he burned the chicken on the grill and I can not eat it (tooooooo dry) GOOD NIGHT!

INTRODUCING MISS CUTEYPATOOTY! our very own MDRI = Michelle! avatar Before and Down 25! What a cutey pie!!!!!!