Meow=^..^=

Wellllllll...... I went to the GYNO and got a little depressed and ate chicken nuggets from Donalds. I have to go get a ultrasound tomarrow... But I did exercise and drank my water!!!!! lol... And what the hell is wrong with everyones scales???? sheesh I will weigh at the hospital tomarrow (and prolly drop dead of shock if I am under 400) How did everyone else do today?

All the jobs i have worked at have had the evil insurane exclusions!!!! ARSES!!!! LOL I want a goverment job damnit!!!! They pay!!!! Anywhoooo how much does the Gobbler cost??? I want that done!!!!! LOL I can live with a girdle hehehe Look at it, LOOK AT IT!!!!! Ick lol

Very Depressing day today.... I dont even know why. Maybe it is because I don NOT want to go to the doctors tomarrow. The last time I had a GYNO visit was HORRIBLE. LOL Probably why I havent gone in 6 years. The doc was such an arse. I have always sat up since I was 12 but nooooooooo she wanted me to lie down, then was mad cuz she couldnt see nothin and then was just a witch about it. I told her my cervix was tilted!!! Sheesh I just feel like I am in a viscous cycle. I cant work at a good job with good insurance cuz of my swelling legs and ankles. So I dont have insurance that will pay for surgery. I have a job that doesnt pay enough to get financing for surgery. Its like buying a house, I just dont think its ever gunna happen. I wont be able to work a "normal" job till I lose wieght. I just want to cry. LOL I even thought about playing the Megabucks the other day. The only 2 people I know that have money are my parents and one of my aunts friends. My parents wont loan me the money. *Sigh* LOL and I only met Rita once, how could I ask for a loan even though I know they have millions of dollars. But at this point I feel desprate. I think I will call my Aunt tomarrow, and see what she thinks. Being poor sucks sometimes. Its at times like this when I get angry with my parents. Why the hell would they say they would not help with college??? It wasnt my choice that you spent $100 grand on counceling because you all could not get it together. I think I would have chosen my future over that. Its why I had to wait 10 years to go to college, when you know thats all I have ever wanted to do. So now I am almost done and I am afraid cuz I might not be able to work... WTF??? When did life become so complicated???? I remember in my 20s that being poor wasnt a big deal. That was before all of my medical issues. What the hell is up with the cost of Drugs and going to the doctor???? Some days I just want to give up and call it quits.... Put me on Medicaid, give me a check and I can sit on my fat ass and not leave my house EVER. I really have thought about it. Even got a application sent 7 years ago. And the sick thing was my mom was like, go for it!!!! She must have missed the class where ya learn that you should want your kids to do better than yourself. So while she and dad live in thier 4000 sq ft house, going on cruises, snowbird ways, I trudge threw school a full time crappy pay job, live paycheck to paycheck and sink further and further down the working poor class funnel. I am really glad that these days are infrequent...lol OOOO and can I get my brothers phone number??? I only asked 3 years ago!!!! Sheesh....I know she is scared that I will tell the truth but come on, he is sick, I am sick, get over yourself!!!! I have already been sworn to never tell my Grandma she had a child out of wedlock and gave him up for adoption. I was punished cuz I told a friend. I just want to get to know him. I dont think it is fair that I had to meet him once with her there and never been able to talk to him since. It is just crap! I wonder what my life would have been like if so many things had not happened in my life. Would I have gained wieght? Would I have acted out sexually in childhood? Would I be a Pschologist like I planned? Would I have travled the world?Would I have tried modeling? Would I have become a dancer? Would I have children? I dunno.... But I do know I just want to be able to live, and thrive. I am dying here. I want to leave. My spirt is dying. I miss my "family" that I created. I miss all of the kids. I am afraid I will never be able to have any children now. Which is odd...lol... because I spent most of my 20s fearful of having kids cuz i didnt want to be like my mom. I married a wonderfull man that has a disability but who loves me unconditionally. He takes care of me, but he will never get a good job till he learns english. He accepts me with all my issues, God only knows he is a Saint, lol. Its amazing that i am so distorted. On a day to day basis I dont think of myself as fat. I catch a glimpse of someone in the mirror, who is that? ooops its me. IS that REALLY me???? Not at all who I think of as myself. I miss dancing,volleyball, softball, cute shoes, swimming all day, holidays..... OMG I let so many things just go by and not even batted an eyelash... ICK.. ENOUGH LAMENTING.... I shall get my fat arse upstairs and into bed for tomarrow is a new day

Very Depressing day today.... I dont even know why. Maybe it is because I don NOT want to go to the doctors tomarrow. The last time I had a GYNO visit was HORRIBLE. LOL Probably why I havent gone in 6 years. The doc was such an arse. I have always sat up since I was 12 but nooooooooo she wanted me to lie down, then was mad cuz she couldnt see nothin and then was just a witch about it. I told her my cervix was tilted!!! Sheesh I just feel like I am in a viscous cycle. I cant work at a good job with good insurance cuz of my swelling legs and ankles. So I dont have insurance that will pay for surgery. I have a job that doesnt pay enough to get financing for surgery. Its like buying a house, I just dont think its ever gunna happen. I wont be able to work a "normal" job till I lose wieght. I just want to cry. LOL I even thought about playing the Megabucks the other day. The only 2 people I know that have money are my parents and one of my aunts friends. My parents wont loan me the money. *Sigh* LOL and I only met Rita once, how could I ask for a loan even though I know they have millions of dollars. But at this point I feel desprate. I think I will call my Aunt tomarrow, and see what she thinks. Being poor sucks sometimes. Its at times like this when I get angry with my parents. Why the hell would they say they would not help with college??? It wasnt my choice that you spent $100 grand on counceling because you all could not get it together. I think I would have chosen my future over that. Its why I had to wait 10 years to go to college, when you know thats all I have ever wanted to do. So now I am almost done and I am afraid cuz I might not be able to work... WTF??? When did life become so complicated???? I remember in my 20s that being poor wasnt a big deal. That was before all of my medical issues. What the hell is up with the cost of Drugs and going to the doctor???? Some days I just want to give up and call it quits.... Put me on Medicaid, give me a check and I can sit on my fat ass and not leave my house EVER. I really have thought about it. Even got a application sent 7 years ago. And the sick thing was my mom was like, go for it!!!! She must have missed the class where ya learn that you should want your kids to do better than yourself. So while she and dad live in thier 4000 sq ft house, going on cruises, snowbird ways, I trudge threw school a full time crappy pay job, live paycheck to paycheck and sink further and further down the working poor class funnel. I am really glad that these days are infrequent...lol OOOO and can I get my brothers phone number??? I only asked 3 years ago!!!! Sheesh....I know she is scared that I will tell the truth but come on, he is sick, I am sick, get over yourself!!!! I have already been sworn to never tell my Grandma she had a child out of wedlock and gave him up for adoption. I was punished cuz I told a friend. I just want to get to know him. I dont think it is fair that I had to meet him once with her there and never been able to talk to him since. It is just crap! I wonder what my life would have been like if so many things had not happened in my life. Would I have gained wieght? Would I have acted out sexually in childhood? Would I be a Pschologist like I planned? Would I have travled the world?Would I have tried modeling? Would I have become a dancer? Would I have children? I dunno.... But I do know I just want to be able to live, and thrive. I am dying here. I want to leave. My spirt is dying. I miss my "family" that I created. I miss all of the kids. I am afraid I will never be able to have any children now. Which is odd...lol... because I spent most of my 20s fearful of having kids cuz i didnt want to be like my mom. I married a wonderfull man that has a disability but who loves me unconditionally. He takes care of me, but he will never get a good job till he learns english. He accepts me with all my issues, God only knows he is a Saint, lol. Its amazing that i am so distorted. On a day to day basis I dont think of myself as fat. I catch a glimpse of someone in the mirror, who is that? ooops its me. IS that REALLY me???? Not at all who I think of as myself. I miss dancing,volleyball, softball, cute shoes, swimming all day, holidays..... OMG I let so many things just go by and not even batted an eyelash... ICK.. ENOUGH LAMENTING.... I shall get my fat arse upstairs and into bed for tomarrow is a new day

OMG!!!!! I am soooooooooooo old.... I dont care cuz I feel 25..heheheehe but I just wanted to say a few things that may be usefull.... I have been way fat since my senior year of high school.... I tryed to get surgery many times but was denied....(by the way how have you young ducks payed for this???) But I was on phen phen and lost 100 pounds, which was only half of what I need to lose. I was highly annoyed scared and freaked out by the ugly giggly squishy hangy tummy fat, cuz ya all know firm fat looks ok...lol The DOc said since I was young there was a better chance that the skin could bounce back.... But if it didnt he suggested an Apron removal... It only deals with the fat and skin not the muscles.. (he knew I was not big on pain!!!!) Also my aunt had the bypass at 24 (a million years ago lol I was 12) and she didnt work out and has regretted it since (she was MO)!!!! She said that if she had worked out when she was losing wieght her body would have returned to a more "normal" looking body and not an old persons body..hmmmm ok lol And the last words.... I am happy you all have done this when your young and not all jacked up hehe like me GAWD I feel like I am ancient and I am only 34.... Anyways I just got married last Halloween, no kids... but I still have the same fears...LMAO had a nightmare the other day that my thighs looked like my grandmas after I lost all my wieght!!!!! WTH????? Hubby woke me up cuz I was yelling "Iwant a body lift!!!!" in spanish lol.... ooo yes I need help!!!! lol Good luck!!!!

wooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo you go girl!!!!! hmmm 6 months no McD amazing.... lol grrrrr I wanted a smiley but I cant seem to find them anymore....Can ya hear it????? I am clapping for ya!!!!

Just wanted to say I am sorry that this situation has happened... Today is a BRAND NEW DAY.... SIEZE THE DAY!!!! Smile, people luv ya

ooooooooooo... bad rice!!!!!! ok I made matza ball soup with chicken and veggies.... going to my moms for CAKE for hubbys birthday, if she didnt buy angel food cake im gunna kill her!!!! lol I have not exersized yet agggggggg these pills are kickin my bum!!!!!! I need some motivational help to get my arse off the sofa....heheeheehe oooo and the dang scale was broke!!!!!! I will try tomarrow at the obgyn office...ewwwwww I dont wanna get THAT test!!!!! lol TOMARROW IS A NEW DAY!!!!!!!

Im with ya!!! lol I am not gunna eat that fried rice in the fridge damnit!!!! Due to excessive salt intake last night at my hubbys chinese birthday dinner I will do floor and wieghts today, drink 2 more liters of water. I had to force my self to go take my astronomy test today...LMAO I went in my jammas... And what????

wooo hoooo Whestin!!! way to go!!!!! yes, yes I am jealous.... My hubby said I look like I have lost wieght.. I go to the doc tomarrow to see....Holy hell I would never have a scale at home!!!! LMAO

As I sit here eating my 1 oz of baked Cheetos, thinking, should I attempt this diet??? Never tryed any of these new fangled soup diets. But I do know my Hubby would love that soup LOL. OK ya talked me into TASTING the soup...LMAO then I let ya know!!!! Funny hows the diet coming anyways???

Misfortune.... She documented all of her side effects ie rashes, smell, skin breakdowns... then its not considered cosmetic, but I think its also due to the state your from.... Washington State.... Also had a friend get a breast reduction for back pain from Washington and that was like 10 years ago

Just a thought... I dont know anything about Mexican law and they all practice medicine in Mexico... But I read somewhere that Ortiz lives in San Diego...Civil Suit? So sorry to hear about you... I would be pissed too!!!!

I found my thread!!!!!! LOL... picture it, yesturday at the doctors office....(mind you I have been a patient of his for 3 years) the MA says, "Step on the scale" I reply "Is not enough wieght" The MA says "huh?" I feel like cussing her out, and screaming it only goes up to 350, why do I have to tell you this EVERY TIME I come here, but I calmly say again, "not enough wieght" Same day, in class to learn about Glucose reader....I hear a table rattle behind me.....OOOOOOOOOOO was that my bum that knocked it over????? I swear I was like 3 feet away from it!!!!! ROTF I also am someone that is not in reality about my wieght untill I have to get on the scale or see some HUGE person reflected in a window walking by me...Its like I am in a fat suit that I cant get out of!!!!!!I am a DANCER damnit...LOL I feel fat.. not morbidly obese *sigh* I just want to be 200lbs...LOL how sick is that????

HEYYYYYYYYYYY I dont remember posing for those pics!!!!!! LMAO good luck, cant wait to hear how everything goes!!!!!

New Sho.....I think ya look great!!!! wear the suit!!!! Nykee...I so am there with ya....I also need to lose 200 lbs. when I lost 75 a few years ago I told the doctor I hated my tummy... It was all mushy, lol not the firm fat!!! I do have fear, but I just want to be healthy... I decided I dont care what other people think.. I wear shorts, sleevless tops and all that. I dont have money either, I understand.... Take heart and document... I had a friend that had got her boobs, tummy, vajay jay and legs done on Medicaid

got toes crossed...good luck...im so jealous!!!!

LOL>.I picked Queen... I have loved her forever...But heres one thats probably more realistic for me.....Anna Nichole BEFORE Trim Spa.....*sigh* can I suck out my fat in the tummy and put it in my bum???? lol anyone got money for a Brazilian Butt Lift???? CUZ BABY DONT GOT BACK!!!!!!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I drive a 1992 Ford Taurus... bought it cuz my clients couldnt whale themselves up into my 1980 Bronco.... hehehehehe But on Friday I hope to buy a 1986 Cougar from a little old lady that cant drive any more.... Its got 75,000 miles on it but the big thing is its got A/C woooooo hoooooo Been driving for 3 years without A/C.....My passion is old big American cars.. I miss my Buick Electra!!!! So fit 3 people in the trunk, wish I took a pic of that!!!! Sold it when I went to college in Idaho.....lmao cant imagine what kind of nightmare gas is Now!!!! *sigh* but I just want a mini I think they are soooo cute...Anyways my DREAM car that I can afford in the near future....rotf any big boat convertable with A/C and a V6 preferably diesal.. Heavens I surly dont want to pay for gas.... DREAM car I probably will never have has to be a electric or hybrid car......I have faith that one day the people will rise and bring down the evil people that are just about financial gain and that we may one day not be in the clutches of OIL consumption, AND AND AND.... ok need to calm down lmao Now you do know that there are countries that dont USE oil RIGHT????? LOL sorry about the tirade, the show must go on

Soooo I am a little dog crazy. I have 3 dogs, Jax Jezabel and Jinx, she is the baby and is a complete brat.LOL, it is so not my fault!!!! Jinx was the only puppy in the last litter and hubby just HAD to keep her. They are Chi/Jack Russel mixes. VERY smart dogs. Lmao I taught them to sit on there hind legs and them dance a jig for a "treat" it is hilarious. And I am EVIL.... I am teaching Jezabel how to find and round up the hubby!!!! I say.... Go find Papi, and she runs upstairs jumps on him and barks....lol ok it sounds crazy but the dogs dont go upstairs... lol and hubby then whines saying call her she wont leave.....She is the best!!!!! And when I say who is the prettiest dog ever? Jezabel raises her paw...omg I dont know what I would do without her....hmmmm gunna try and put a pic in here, sorry if its all jacked up. 1st litter..... Jezabel, Scarlett & Scandal (white head) Jinx, Jezabel & Jaxxy thegirls.bmp

Thanx Jack... I have my class on the 7th thats when I get my glucose moniter....wth??? lol I was in there on Friday demanding it.... But I did eat yougurt with the drugs... tomarrow I am going to try something else...Hopefully it will go better

I was diagnost 2 days ago and started Metaphorm and clitzide?? (forgive misspelling..lol) But I feel all jacked up... just want to sleep all day. I didnt have these issues before I was diagnosed. I go see the doctor on the seventh but I just wanted to know if other people had similiar problems with the drugs???? Or know anything that might help???

Lmao...ok just a quick hyjack.... I AM TROLLING FOR 10K FOR A BAND...hehehehehehehe and i got PAYPAL!!!!!!! ok sorry back to your inches....lol Dude know how you feel, why does a girl have to pay 20 more dollars for 2 more inches????? ITS HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!!!!! And another note, why cant bigger size clothing be more fashionable???? Sheesh... I swear I am going to bust out my sewing machine soon

I sooo didnt recognize candy at the race...lol took me like 5 min. to finallly register...OMG I also was surprised that Nyanza came....My jaw hit the floor, I did not like her when she was in the house. I thought she was mean spirited. Awwwww I thought I was the only one that cried...lol my hubby thinks I am crazy!!!!

LMAO...ok Im such a FREAK!!!!! At the bottom of the first page is the chat room... just wanted to let people know since I have been here awhile and didnt know maybe there are other ignoramouses out there toooooooo...lol