Sheribear68

I’ve wondered this as well.
I started off with a BMI of exactly 41% and was able to (and still currently maintain) a BMI of 20-21%.
I lost well over 100% of my excess fat, which my bari surgeon admitted is outside his “typical” results, but he also admitted he was fairly confident going in that I would achieve it based off of my history, psych evaluation, and our personal interviews.

That being said, he and his team always point-blank refused to set a goal weight or BMI in front of me and I know that many clinics don’t
Mostly I think that’s because we need to shoot for our own goals and limits— not the limits that someone else thinks we can or cannot do.

I was so paranoid that I was going to be a spectacular failure at WLS, but ended up being a pretty spectacular success.

Sheri, so glad to see you back and to hear you are doing so well! You are looking great, and I agree that the new weight is probably the right place for you to be. (I had my skeletal phase as well.)

Glad to see everyone is doing so well

I lost down to under 130 last April at the start of the pandemic.
I’ve gained about 5-7 pounds and stay generally between 133-138.
I hit 142 right after the holidays, and went strictly bari-keto with IF and now I’m sitting at 137.

The first shot was when I dipped down below 130 and I feel like I look quite skeletal.
The second shot is from late summer, and the 3rd shot is from a few weeks ago (I was probably 3-4 pounds “heavier” than I am currently.)

Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but it’s been a rough last year and unfortunately the frenetic pace isn’t slowing down for me.
I’ve had 2 days off since January 1st with no end in sight

Glad to see everyone is doing so well

I lost down to under 130 last April at the start of the pandemic.
I’ve gained about 5-7 pounds and stay generally between 133-138.
I hit 142 right after the holidays, and went strictly bari-keto with IF and now I’m sitting at 137.

The first shot was when I dipped down below 130 and I feel like I look quite skeletal.
The second shot is from late summer, and the 3rd shot is from a few weeks ago (I was probably 3-4 pounds “heavier” than I am currently.)

Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but it’s been a rough last year and unfortunately the frenetic pace isn’t slowing down for me.
I’ve had 2 days off since January 1st with no end in sight

Thanks for the responses guys.

It’s really hurtful right now and even though I knew it wasn’t me (I try very hard to fly under the radar, but it’s not exactly like you can “hide” losing over 90 pounds) it’s nice to be reassured.

I make very sure that I don’t mention anything about losing weight, buying new clothes, or how good I feel to anybody except you guys and very very close family members and 1-2 friends who I know are absolutely rock-solid love me no-matter-what kind of relationships.

As I was stewing over this (because it’s cut me to the core and I’m kind of past the point where I can lie to myself and make yet another excuse up for this girl to avoid me now) I started making a list of positive changes in relationships.

1. I’ve got lots of friends all over the country and one of my long-term-yet-not-very-close friends and I have been reconnecting weekly via text and FB messaging bc she’s lost over 90 pounds (not WLS, just totally gave up sugar and now regularly does duathalons) and that relationship is awesome bc we send each other selfies and report on our progress and hold each other accountable.

2. All of you guys here. As if I didn’t realize how important coming here daily and posting was, the new IOS update really brought that home when my ability to be here is limited to when I can get on my pad.

3. The people I’m seeing daily at the Pilates studio.
Okay, so it’s not as easy to make new besties at the age of 50 as it is at the age of 5 (which is a shame really) but seeing these ladies daily in class brings on a feeling of camaraderie that’s really nice.

4. Myself.
Probably should’ve listed this relationship first, but the relationship I have with myself is a complete 180 from where I was this time last year.

Okay so I have no “after” because I’m slightly more than halfway to goal, so right now I’ll post “before” and “halfway there” pics.

I still have about 40-ish pounds left to lose.

The first set of pics are from the holidays when I was weighing between 250-255.

This last set was from a couple of weeks ago on my 4 month surgiversary when I was weighing 189.
Lol, I’m currently at 184 today.

Birthday dinner out.

Goat yoga.

At the art exhibit

Because day 2 billion in a row waking up at 5am for work warranted a cute outfit.

Size MEDIUM Ann Taylor dress I picked up for $14 at the consignment store

Omg I love the whole look.
Gotta know where you got the leggings

I am 5 days post-op and experiencing the same.
My digestive tract is NOISY. I always suffered acid reflux before, but this is like the acid release with no reflux. I’m not due for my 2 week follow up til next week and I’m going to bring it up with my Doc.
Usually some crampy-epigastric pain follows the worst of the growling, but I’ve taken acid reducers and they don’t seem to affect the noise.
I also take 40mg pantoprazole once daily. 🤷‍♀️

Wow guys. These posts really resonate with me:

I gained 110 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter (2nd child) and the abuse I took from their father still haunts me.
That’s the baby that changed my whole metabolism and all I got from him was quiet disappoint and criticism In the weight gain and subsequent PPD.
By the time she was 3, I found out that their father was having an active affair with one of my coworkers and that basically everything I had been struggling with had been used against me and that the 2 of them were plotting to try to get custody of the kids.
They were actually using my new-found Morbid Obesity as a weapon against me to “prove” that I didn’t have the self-control necessary to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 as a single mom.

I fought sooooo hard that year and in years after, trying to fix what was “broken” in me only to fail over and over and over again.
Thankfully I had enough of a career and enough self-esteem to survive that onslaught and make it through. Those were several tough years where I was reminded painfully over and over that I wasn’t good enough-or desireable enough, smart enough, or like able enough to be considered a “good” parent and I was reminded on a monthly basis that it was going to be a a WAR of 2 vs 1.

I somehow persevered and got those kids raised. I spent over 13 years single and afraid to even think about having a life of my own.

I survived breast cancer as a single working mom. At that point, my biggest fear was dying before I could finish raising those kids— aged 16 and 12 when I was diagnosed.
The kids dad stopped paying child support after our first year divorced and I was afraid to even take him to court bc I didn’t feel worthy enough to raise my kids as a MO single mom in her mid-30s.
When I think of the years lost due to my feelings of inferiority, it almost makes me sick.

I wasted almost 13 years of my life feeling like a sub-par human and thankfully my current husband saw me— the true me— underneath all of that baggage. He loved me— plus sized and all— in spite of me not loving myself.

It took that brave and kind man’s love to realize that I could be so much more than the reality that I was currently living.
With his love and respect and complete acceptance, I was able to start this journey that has led to where I am now.
Ironically, my ex is a mere shadow of the man he once was— he won’t call or reach out to his kids and I’ve heard that he and that woman live a very small and petty existence where neither of them are fulfilled or even remotely happy.

If I were a better person, I would feel pity for them, but I must honestly admit that I do derive some satisfaction from their misery.

At the end of the day though, my best revenge is to live my best life as happily as possible, and I plan on doing that every. Single. Day.

Congrats everyone for hitting their 1 year post-op milestones and thanks everyone for sharing your journey.

I had a fabulous weekend, and I’m fluctuating between 134-137 right now, which is all I could’ve ever hoped for and more.
Included are a couple of pics that a year ago would’ve had me floored to see.

Thursday night hubs and I treated ourselves to a thunder game (yes, that’s a glass of white wine and it was my splurge day) and the next is from Sunday when we went to a new park in town.
The weather was in the 70’s and I overdressed out of fear of getting out and about and being cold.
Lol, need to figure out how to dress for the spring and summer months coming ahead, which will honestly require a new wardrobe.

Oh and here’s a pic from yesterday.
Feeling strong and accomplished and I refuse to feel one bit apologetic or guilty about it.

Strange indeed.
I am now the skinniest girl at work, my circle of friends, and my family and it’s a bit mind-blowing.

Now when I go out in public, nobody knows that I’m actually a fat girl trapped in a skinny girls body.
They can’t understand that I know their pain, their shame, their mental battles. It’s kind of like once I got >2 years out of chemo and I didn’t look like a cancer patient anymore.
I will always be a cancer patient, but I no longer look the part so people dealing with cancer of their own tell me as a health-care provider “well you can’t understand what I’m going through...”.
Um...yes. Yes I most definitely can.

It’s the same now, and honestly it’s even weirder for me bc I was MO for most of the last 22 years and it was so much part of my identity that there are aspects I probably won’t live long enough to get over.

I’m sensing in your post here, AZhiker that you’re feeling a bit “lost” as to which group you can relate to. Our previous acquaintances can’t relate to us like they did before and new people we meet never knew our previous struggles.
I can relate completely to this feeling of “where do I belong now?” And this is why forums like this and support groups are absolutely vital for our continued growth and mental health.

Of of y’all in this February group are near and dear to me as we were all starting about the same time and went through this together. I will be forever grateful for the last years worth of humor,frustration,fears,setbacks and triumphs that we’ve shared.
As we move into year 2, there will be new challenges and I’m looking forward to navigating those together.

5’7”, female, 51YO, 13 months post VGS.
HW: 262
SW: 246
GW: 155
CW: 134-137

MANY of us who are WLS all start in different places and have had different routes getting there.
I personally think that the human body is a wonderful and mysteriously frustrating thing.
As an adult, spent many years “normal” or slightly “under normal” body weight. It was only when I hit my late 20’s that I became MO. And stayed there for 22 years.

When I had WLS, I had to maintain my BMI (which was hovering right at 40) for 8 months so I could stay qualified. I’d love to see insurance companies lower that number to 35, because I could’ve been practicing healthier habits in the months leading up to WLS rather than INTENTIONALLY trying to keep my weight >252.

My point here is that I hit a “normal” BMI fairly rapidly-within 8 months of WLS- and I’m now struggling to keep my weight over 135. I feel like most of that was because I had a lower-than-typical SW, and that my body “remembers” being a skinny girl as a teen and young adult and therefore when I got my resetting from WLS, my body adjusted beautifully.
I’ve lost >110 pounds from my surgery date, which is way over 100% EBF.
I’m not a super-hero, I just happened to be a girl who (mostly) followed what her team recommended, worked out, and did my homework daily,weekly, and monthly to get and stay on track.

Honestly it take me getting creative some days and I still struggle trying to get in >1000 calories sometimes bc I refuse to eat crap.
Other than dealing with a weird Tomato and Kimchi craving right now, I’m not feeling deprived at all.

Okay so I want to urge caution and patience here.

I too got freaked out a few weeks ago with my continued loss and then I finally realized that should embrace it
I mean, I’ve been fighting a war with my body for over 2 decades and I’m sick and tired of it.

So for 20+ years I couldn’t lose enough and now I’m gonna stress bc I had WLS and I’m losing “too much??”
Nah, instead I’m just gonna relax and see where this ride stops.
I talked to my NUT last month and she reassured me that my body won’t let me die, and I just had my 1 year labs done and they are BEAUTIFUL!
I have zero deficiencies and personally I feel better than I’ve ever felt before.

I now that I’ve spent almost 2 months <140, I kinda like it and it’s becoming more of my comfort zone.
Give yourself time and TLC before doing something radical and fighting against your body.

Okay so I had a moment like this today at the Pilates studio.
An instructor I hadn’t had in awhile was back at our location and she made a comment to me after class about how fantastic I looked and how strong I had become.
Another gal in class piped up saying she was noticing the same thing about me and then it turned into a discussion on how much I’d lost since joining the studio last March.
So I told them all that I’ve lost 120+ pounds since January 2019, and there was a part of me that wanted to add, “but it was bc of WLS, so please don’t look at me with awe and admiration,”

Then I mentally took a step back and realized that
1. I didn’t owe anyone an explanation of how each of those pounds came off, and
2. I am amazing and awesome for sticking to my program like I’ve done for the last year.
I could’ve “settled” for losing 50,60,70, etc pounds, but at the end of the day I pushed myself beyond anything I ever thought I could’ve.
And you know what? I am actually very strong and dedicated to this lifestyle.

Yes the compliments sometimes can make us feel guilty and awkward, but I challenge each and every one of you guys to give yourself credit for the incredibly brave and wise decision to have WLS in the first place.
This choice isn’t the easy way out. There’s so much involved in it that will be with us forever and we chose forever altering our digestive tracts to get back our health. There are many people out there who will -for a multitude of reasons-never make our very difficult choice.

Strange indeed.
I am now the skinniest girl at work, my circle of friends, and my family and it’s a bit mind-blowing.

Now when I go out in public, nobody knows that I’m actually a fat girl trapped in a skinny girls body.
They can’t understand that I know their pain, their shame, their mental battles. It’s kind of like once I got >2 years out of chemo and I didn’t look like a cancer patient anymore.
I will always be a cancer patient, but I no longer look the part so people dealing with cancer of their own tell me as a health-care provider “well you can’t understand what I’m going through...”.
Um...yes. Yes I most definitely can.

It’s the same now, and honestly it’s even weirder for me bc I was MO for most of the last 22 years and it was so much part of my identity that there are aspects I probably won’t live long enough to get over.

I’m sensing in your post here, AZhiker that you’re feeling a bit “lost” as to which group you can relate to. Our previous acquaintances can’t relate to us like they did before and new people we meet never knew our previous struggles.
I can relate completely to this feeling of “where do I belong now?” And this is why forums like this and support groups are absolutely vital for our continued growth and mental health.

Of of y’all in this February group are near and dear to me as we were all starting about the same time and went through this together. I will be forever grateful for the last years worth of humor,frustration,fears,setbacks and triumphs that we’ve shared.
As we move into year 2, there will be new challenges and I’m looking forward to navigating those together.

Wow guys. These posts really resonate with me:

I gained 110 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter (2nd child) and the abuse I took from their father still haunts me.
That’s the baby that changed my whole metabolism and all I got from him was quiet disappoint and criticism In the weight gain and subsequent PPD.
By the time she was 3, I found out that their father was having an active affair with one of my coworkers and that basically everything I had been struggling with had been used against me and that the 2 of them were plotting to try to get custody of the kids.
They were actually using my new-found Morbid Obesity as a weapon against me to “prove” that I didn’t have the self-control necessary to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 as a single mom.

I fought sooooo hard that year and in years after, trying to fix what was “broken” in me only to fail over and over and over again.
Thankfully I had enough of a career and enough self-esteem to survive that onslaught and make it through. Those were several tough years where I was reminded painfully over and over that I wasn’t good enough-or desireable enough, smart enough, or like able enough to be considered a “good” parent and I was reminded on a monthly basis that it was going to be a a WAR of 2 vs 1.

I somehow persevered and got those kids raised. I spent over 13 years single and afraid to even think about having a life of my own.

I survived breast cancer as a single working mom. At that point, my biggest fear was dying before I could finish raising those kids— aged 16 and 12 when I was diagnosed.
The kids dad stopped paying child support after our first year divorced and I was afraid to even take him to court bc I didn’t feel worthy enough to raise my kids as a MO single mom in her mid-30s.
When I think of the years lost due to my feelings of inferiority, it almost makes me sick.

I wasted almost 13 years of my life feeling like a sub-par human and thankfully my current husband saw me— the true me— underneath all of that baggage. He loved me— plus sized and all— in spite of me not loving myself.

It took that brave and kind man’s love to realize that I could be so much more than the reality that I was currently living.
With his love and respect and complete acceptance, I was able to start this journey that has led to where I am now.
Ironically, my ex is a mere shadow of the man he once was— he won’t call or reach out to his kids and I’ve heard that he and that woman live a very small and petty existence where neither of them are fulfilled or even remotely happy.

If I were a better person, I would feel pity for them, but I must honestly admit that I do derive some satisfaction from their misery.

At the end of the day though, my best revenge is to live my best life as happily as possible, and I plan on doing that every. Single. Day.

Okay so I want to urge caution and patience here.

I too got freaked out a few weeks ago with my continued loss and then I finally realized that should embrace it
I mean, I’ve been fighting a war with my body for over 2 decades and I’m sick and tired of it.

So for 20+ years I couldn’t lose enough and now I’m gonna stress bc I had WLS and I’m losing “too much??”
Nah, instead I’m just gonna relax and see where this ride stops.
I talked to my NUT last month and she reassured me that my body won’t let me die, and I just had my 1 year labs done and they are BEAUTIFUL!
I have zero deficiencies and personally I feel better than I’ve ever felt before.

I now that I’ve spent almost 2 months <140, I kinda like it and it’s becoming more of my comfort zone.
Give yourself time and TLC before doing something radical and fighting against your body.

I am so thankful for the clinic psychologist at the place I had my surgery.

His lesson that he hammers every time he gets the chance is that WLS has 3 major traps:

Trap #1: you will initially lose weight NO MATTER WHAT. You can have the worst habits and diet ever and still lose weight. This is a bad trap as there isn’t negative feedback for unhealthy behaviors.

Trap #2: because of the reduced size of your new digestive tract, you can eat small portions of metabolically disruptive foods (carb-laden and devoid of protein) and be “okay” because it’s only a few bites. Nope,nope,nope! Even in teensy amounts, foods that promote insulin resistance are only going to put you right back into a bad metabolic state over time. Best to avoid them (or save them only for very special occasions) altogether.

Trap #3: You don’t stop becoming a “fat” person just because you lost a bunch of weight.
It’s kind of like being a smoker or an alcoholic. Just because you’re not actively smoking or drinking, it doesn’t mean you can magically pick up smoking or drinking again and not expect difficult consequences. Fat brains stay fat brains for life and we need to be ever-diligent to not fall into any of the “fat” behaviors that got us needing WLS in the first place.

I actually wrote all of these traps down after my sessions with him and I keep them taped to a cork board in my bedroom. I see them every day and try my best each day to keep those lessons close to heart.

Love these updates!

The first place I’m getting plastics done will be face/neck.
Never realized how “old” losing >100 pounds would make me look.

Then maybe— maybe this time next year I’ll think about other parts of my bod (I’m looking at you, thighs)

Wow guys. These posts really resonate with me:

I gained 110 pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter (2nd child) and the abuse I took from their father still haunts me.
That’s the baby that changed my whole metabolism and all I got from him was quiet disappoint and criticism In the weight gain and subsequent PPD.
By the time she was 3, I found out that their father was having an active affair with one of my coworkers and that basically everything I had been struggling with had been used against me and that the 2 of them were plotting to try to get custody of the kids.
They were actually using my new-found Morbid Obesity as a weapon against me to “prove” that I didn’t have the self-control necessary to raise 2 kids under the age of 6 as a single mom.

I fought sooooo hard that year and in years after, trying to fix what was “broken” in me only to fail over and over and over again.
Thankfully I had enough of a career and enough self-esteem to survive that onslaught and make it through. Those were several tough years where I was reminded painfully over and over that I wasn’t good enough-or desireable enough, smart enough, or like able enough to be considered a “good” parent and I was reminded on a monthly basis that it was going to be a a WAR of 2 vs 1.

I somehow persevered and got those kids raised. I spent over 13 years single and afraid to even think about having a life of my own.

I survived breast cancer as a single working mom. At that point, my biggest fear was dying before I could finish raising those kids— aged 16 and 12 when I was diagnosed.
The kids dad stopped paying child support after our first year divorced and I was afraid to even take him to court bc I didn’t feel worthy enough to raise my kids as a MO single mom in her mid-30s.
When I think of the years lost due to my feelings of inferiority, it almost makes me sick.

I wasted almost 13 years of my life feeling like a sub-par human and thankfully my current husband saw me— the true me— underneath all of that baggage. He loved me— plus sized and all— in spite of me not loving myself.

It took that brave and kind man’s love to realize that I could be so much more than the reality that I was currently living.
With his love and respect and complete acceptance, I was able to start this journey that has led to where I am now.
Ironically, my ex is a mere shadow of the man he once was— he won’t call or reach out to his kids and I’ve heard that he and that woman live a very small and petty existence where neither of them are fulfilled or even remotely happy.

If I were a better person, I would feel pity for them, but I must honestly admit that I do derive some satisfaction from their misery.

At the end of the day though, my best revenge is to live my best life as happily as possible, and I plan on doing that every. Single. Day.