KatFight

You're doing great and you will be fine. You will NOT believe how much better your lungs will feel when you begin your post op eating. My asthma and lungs feel so much better!!! You've got this. Keep your eye on the prize and do NOT give up. Our fat brains will say or do anything to keep us fat and down on the farm. Trust me, if your surgeon was afraid to operate on someone of your size, he woulda kicked you to the curb in the very beginning cuz they can't afford to have even 1 bad outcome. They NEVER gamble. They're like the house who only works with a stacked deck. They want 100% great outcomes!
Keep on keepin' on!

I took naps every day for my 3 week post op time off. That doesn’t seem unusual to me. But I was doing laps around the main level of my house every hour the first week and then the second week I was outside walking as far as I could. It wasn’t pretty. But I didn’t do hardly anything besides get my fluids and Protein in the first few weeks and do my laps. And id fall asleep in the recliner during the day. Naps aren’t the devil. I was just as tired as you described. But as long as I was walking and moving every hour and getting my fluids I was fine

Hi. I’m sorry that you’re going through such a rough time. I get discouraged too, mostly when the scale doesn’t move. It’s understandable that you’re feeling discouraged because you’re body isn’t adjusting to what you were informed would occur as a result of surgery. Rarely full and always hungry is definitely not what I would have expected either.

Another patient at my surgeon’s office told me he was told post-op patients don’t get hungry. He was pre-op and I was 2 weeks post-op. I could tell he was hopeful that hunger would go away and I told him that I still get hungry. Uh-oh!

My tastes are weird sometimes too, sugar-free popsicles taste sweeter post-op than they did pre-op -almost too sweet. The thought of whether or not I’m eating too much grabs hold of me sometimes. I do feel restriction so I know when to stop but sometimes I’ve eaten too fast and realize I shouldn’t have had that last bite.

Your concerns are certainly legitimate and you may want to talk about them with your doctor if you haven’t already. Your feelings are legitimate. I’ve had similar feelings at various points of this process.

Rest assured that there will be brighter days. You didn’t go through all of this for nothing. Please feel free to message me if you’d ever like to talk. [emoji304]

A friend told me that she has conversations with food items: "well, I like you, but do you like me?" There are plenty of items that fit into the first category but not the second. She's better than I am at cutting out things that don't like her, but this is a long journey for all of us, not a quick fix. As long as you didn't do real damage to your healing body, you learned something, and that's worthwhile. Take the lesson, leave the guilt.

Thanks for sharing MattyMatt. I think all of us may have times when we slip up and think we are a failure for doing so. It’s helps when people like you share so we don’t feel alone when it happens to us.

That's the problem with forums like these, the people needed the most (the veterans) are long gone. They take all the knowledge that they've aquired through trial/error and experience and leave. This leaves a tremendous void for those of us starting out and for those that need the valuable experience the veteran WLS people have. I don't have the vast knowledge WLS to help you in that aspect but I do have much in life experience.
The things that makes us succeed in most things that we do is research,planning and execution. We research the problem to find a viable solution. We then plan out on how we will will reach a satisfactory result and then we execute our plan. It's no difference with weight loss. You researched WLS from the operation to the maintenance phase. You planned for the operation and from your own words you planned out your meals on Sundays. You then executed the plan eating healthy, walking and living life. So, what changed? Your new relationship. No matter how much you researched, planned and executed you deviated from the core tenets that gave you much success. What do you do next? Well, the best part is you've admitted that you have a problem and the problem hasn't grown to the point of failure.
While I love my wife dearly I realize that for us to be successful we at times must take different roads. This is the case for you and your S.O. Until you get to where you are happy with yourself you should consider traveling separate roads as far as food is concerned. You stick to your plan and execution. Prep your meals, walk and still live life with your S.O. When you feel comfortable with yourself then walk the same path BUT be cognizant that you might have to jump off once in awhile to maintain YOUR happiness. Your challenge isn't unsurmountable and I'm sure that you will find a way to make it work. Now, my question I ask most veterans: Do you still have a restriction and if so, how much compared to when you first had WLS. Mahalo in advance for your response.

I had my 3-month follow up on Friday. The surgeon told me that, if I tried to have the surgery now (at my current height/weight and with my current medical conditions), I wouldn’t qualify.

Hi Sweetheart
I know by reading these responses, you're probably feeling really shitty. I get it. I LOVED smoking. IT was my favorite thing. IT was my "crack cocaine" I had smoked since I was 14 years old. IT began as a fun thing, a sneaky thing, that made us kids feel so cool. By age 15, I was an addict. I started out, half a pack, then a pack, then.. you know how it goes. I was smoking easy, 2 1/2 packs - 3 a day. I loved ciggs. It became me. I t was my friend, my companion. I couldnt even watch a movie without smoking.. An hour of not smoking , miserable
I always wanted to quit, but just the idea, I couldnt. Well that's not entirely true. I never wanted to quit for the first 20 years. I vowed , "I'll go to my deathbed , smoking". My justification. "I'd rather smoke and be happy. Besides they only take off the last few years and those are shitty anyways" But I started to feel the effects of smoking in my early 30's, ( not my last years, that would be shitty anyways)
But I never considered quitting because, I knew I couldnt do it
Fast forward, the surgery. When I found out quitting smoking was a requirement. I hung up the idea of getting the surgery. I mean, I qualified in every way, but the nictoine testing they'd do in order for my insurance to approve me.
I got home, called my aunt and told her I wasn't going to get the surgery afterall.. The reason. I had to quit smoking, which I wasn't willing or able to do. She, as a former smoker who'd quit many times told me, she understood. But I heard disappointment in her voice. Why not even try. Just try. I told her, what if I try and can't. Id be so embarrassed..
She told me, Joanna, people quit many times usually before they are finally successful, but so you owe it to yourself to atleast try. And I did.
I got with my doctor for the Chantix medicine. I liked it because you could still smoke while taking the medicine. I also underwent EMDR with the therapist I've already been seeing for years and years to help get to the beginning of the core of my "love for smoking".
Was it easy? Hell no. I thought I was going to go crazy. I , like you, narrowed it down, and down and down, until I was like 5 ciggs a day, and had to space it out, 5 ciggs in a 24 hour period.
Then I smoked my last cigg, without realizing my las cigg on July 25th around noon. Later that evening, I had 2 more allowed ciggs and I thought to myself, Jo, why not just not smoke them. Smoking them is only going to prolong your imminent quitting. So I did
I never got to realize that cigg I smoked earlier in the day would be my last and I think, maybe that was a good thing.
It's been 8 months (tomorrow) since I've quit. There are many times I still miss it. And it's understandable. We're talking about a 23 year addiction.
But what I learned in quitting
If you can just NOT pick them up, that next cigg, that 1 cigg we all lie to ourselves that will be " all we need" that feeling of needing a cigg will pass, if you can refrain from acting on that nightmareish urge to pick up " just one"
It will pass
And it will come again
But you keep fighting those "moments" .. I compare them to contractions. Those mind blowing moments of misery, where you think you'll die and would give anything for it to just go away. And then it goes away. Those cigg contractions will too

While you're fighting this habit, have zero ciggs in your house . Throw what you do have away
Don't go into the mindset of , "After I have the surgery, I can smoke again"
There are heroin addicts and drug addicts who have quit hard drugs, who have not mastered quitting smoking, tha'ts how hard it is, but so if you're down to 1 cigg, you don't believe this about yourself, but I am here to tell you, you CAN quit. Trust me
I still get people who glare at me when they realize I am a non smoker
Joanna (me) would be the last person in the world you'd ever think would quit.
But it can be done. But you have to really want to do it and by that, you're going to have to find yoru reason for NOT wanting it
Initially for me, it was to get the surgery. But then, it was to get better health. I hated the addiction, the fact that I coudlnt go an hour and half movie with my daughters without a cigg. I hated that I had so much fear of ever being without a cigg in my possession.
Now, I am free of that
and the longer it goes, the easier it becomes
You'll always wish you could smoke, you'll always miss it. Well most people do.
But it gets easier
You'll become it's boss, not the other way around
The key to nicotine is that it makes you think you CANNOT quit, when really, you can
Nicotine is a liar
and once it's out of your system, roughly about a week, youll be left to only deal with the mental anguish of missing it , and that too will subside
Best of luck
Joanna

You smoke and you'll swallow nicotine laced saliva that goes straight to your stomach. It will impede healing, it can cause ulcers, leaks and massive problems for you.
Don't do it. It's not worth it.
Talk to your doctor about it.
If you're hell bent to smoke again, I wouldn't even think about it for at least six months. Your stomach has to heal. And even then? You're taking major risks of big problems.
It was explained over and over and over...that you had to quit for life.
If at any point in the process you recall a doctor saying to you that "just one cigarette a day" was ok...you need to find that doctor and have them put that in writing....so you can sue them when you end up on a feeding tube for weeks.
You are playing with fire.

Thank you for the update Kate. It’s great to hear that you have detoxed for nearly 3 weeks and that you’re feeling better. lol Pictures cannot always be trusted, can they? You were def following your food plan...”Oh, yes, that cake looks delicious but I’ll just have the blueberries please.” lol

One Day At A Time, my friend. [emoji274]

Just the word “surgery” can cause family and friends to worry. And, it’s the unconditional love of our family which sometimes can put rose-colored glasses on when it comes to us. So rather than see your size and. The potential health risks, they look at you and see your beauty.
You see the danger in not doing something and that’s why you’ve come this far. I actually went to a WLS seminar 7ish years ago and considered the band; however, the doctor at that hospital was very arrogant. I didn’t want to go to someone with that demeanor. The next 7 years I continued to try on my own. Finally, last July I saw a surgeon at a different hospital who was great. I had surgery 12/28/17. Gastric sleeve.
After surgery I wondered why I had been nervous. My experience was easy - no sore throat, no nausea, no trouble drinking, no vomiting, and little trouble walking. I did have pain with most of it in the first two days (the gas pain is tough but not impossible). I was in and out in 22 hours with only Tylenol. I did have bruises all over my stomach and soreness. A large, rectangular medical ice pack helped a lot.
My surgeon told me that it’s 50/50 - those who it’s easier for and those it’s not. I only regret not going to this hospital 7ish years ago. Who knows? Your experience could be easier than you think I sure hope so 🌻

Hi Miami. I haven't had a sleeve revision but my weight loss was slow and frustrating after vsg surgery on 12/28/17. After surgery, I lost 7 lbs, 2nd week - o, 3rd week - +1 lb. (really! lol), and then 9 lbs. 9lbs. In 1 week! I weigh every Monday.

You will have more weight loss coming. It's just going to happen when it chooses to. Stick to your path to health and you'll eventually reach your goal. It will all be more than ok. [emoji471]

They will. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but they will. Some anxiety medication may help in the meantime. If you’re not doing this already, maybe give yourself care by taking a warm bubble or epsom salt bath - whatever little things that will soothe. You are deserving. You may feel darkness emotionally now but hope is still there. Sending prayers your way...🌷

"The easy way," yes, that's the road I'd like to go down. When someone finds it, please let me know.

Thanks for the recipe. I’m def going to try this, especially like that there’s no crust. [emoji487]

@MiltonP I applaud you for your courage to be vulnerable and reach out here. It’s not easy for many people to admit feelings of rage. I’m so glad you were able to get a psych appt so soon. I’m seeing my psychiatric nurse practitioner regularly right now bc I’m prone to depression and anxiety. And, it’s common to become depressed post-operatively (although not everyone does.) Over time, chronic depression is reduced as a result of WLS.
It seems to me from what you shared that you are dealing with a lot: recent surgery, not eating, some level of pain, parenting a young son, and probably even more. My husband is extremely moody when he’s hungry. The word “hangry” definitely describes him. It’s difficult to be around him when he gets like that. It’s that bad. And, you have that plus everything else to deal with.
We’re truly fortunate to have loved ones who can care for us post-surgery. If you haven’t already bc you’re still fuming, why not find a way to ease some of your tension so you can apologize to your wife? A hot shower? A walk? Some sleep? I always try to keep in mind that I’ve chosen my husband for life and, because of that, I want to behave in a way that nurtures that relationship (even in tough times) so that there are not mini-tears in it that eventually cause it to crumble. I still have very real feelings...anger, frustration, etc. but I don’t do things or say things that will erode what we have (like call him names). I’m not suggesting that you’ve don’t that, just sharing.
You’re pretty amazing and real. Please keep all of us posted on how you’re doing. Sending prayers and warm wishes your way.

Thank you for the update Kate. It’s great to hear that you have detoxed for nearly 3 weeks and that you’re feeling better. lol Pictures cannot always be trusted, can they? You were def following your food plan...”Oh, yes, that cake looks delicious but I’ll just have the blueberries please.” lol

One Day At A Time, my friend. [emoji274]

It really feels great to shrink. I’m super happy for you.

I was wearing 24w jeans. Now in size 20w and there’s room in the waist (not a tight fit). I’ve worn jeans in between one time! I’m going to either sell on Poshmark or send to Threadup. Some items I’ve just given to Goodwill, if it’s nice but not a major designer.
@Seahawksfan You’re making great progress - way to go! 🕺🏻

OMG!!! That’s wonderful! I’m glad to hear you’re doing so well. My surgery was easy too. Aren’t we lucky? I had the same regret you did. Gas pain from surgery can be a beast though. It’s great you’re walking so much already.

Post-op I asked my surgeon if my liver was small enough. She said that it was very small. I felt like I deserved a gold star. I also took the pre-op diet seriously. I was very worried about having a liver that was too large and waking up to find that I didn’t get my VSG.

You go@Mattymatt! ️

How fantastic! You did it and I bet it feels way better than you even imagined. You are looking so fit and healthy. [emoji79]

They will. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but they will. Some anxiety medication may help in the meantime. If you’re not doing this already, maybe give yourself care by taking a warm bubble or epsom salt bath - whatever little things that will soothe. You are deserving. You may feel darkness emotionally now but hope is still there. Sending prayers your way...🌷

@Perla It’s common for people to struggle emotionally after WLS. Although not everyone does, it’s well-documented that depression can set in following surgery. And, anxiety is a close cousin to depression. Many patients get depressed bc WLS surgery is life-changing and adaptation to this new way of life can be challenging. I agree with @Sleeve1stFitNext when she mentioned that the emotions you’re feeling may be causing physical symptoms. Anxiety, especially a panic attack, can cause breathing issues and chest pain.
Rest assured that you made the best choice possible for your health. You explained that you did a lot of research. Each step you took led you to the next step (and you were thinking through each move as you went along), eventually leading you to surgery. Second-guessing happens. No need to stay stuck in that loop though.
In time, WLS can ease depression (not that you said you’re experiencing that). I just want to mention that since I mentioned that depression can set in post-operatively. I struggle with depression and anxiety. My nurse practitioner is seeing me regularly to make sure both are addressed if they become a problem.
Be gentle with yourself. You made a very wise decision. Another wise decision is to speak with your doctor if you continue to feel this way. Two weeks of feeling this way is enough time to give your doc a call. 🌼

It's really helped me posting here and thank you for your words xxx
An update is that I have detoxed for nearly three weeks now (at home) and other than the shakes and a little anxiety I have daily, I am feeling good. They messed up my appointment at the drug and alcohol detox place because they changed the initial appointment and forgot to tell me or my GP that it had changed, so I won't be seeing them until next Monday. Every day has had its struggles but I am getting there.
Kate
It made me laugh when I looked at my old profile pic. I am holding a massive birthday cake and a glass of champagne, neither of which I had!! I ate the blueberries off the top of the cake and the family ate and drank the rest. lol.

@Kate thank you for having the courage to share your story, experience and wisdom with us. Your story touched me in more ways than you will ever know. I pray that the good Lord remove the alcohol taste from your mouth and that you heal properly. We are all here to up lift one another.
Take care!!!!
Ta

Thank you thank you thank you. For being so open and honest. This will really help people who are dealing through the same. I wish you the best with your recovery.

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