Ive always had a temper in the back of my head but manage to get it under control ive always done martial arts and im said to be the most peaceful guy around i dont raise my voice or go looking for trouble infact i avoid it mostly because i wouldnt like to hurt another person, after 4th day of surgery started feeling a little depress the on 5th day started out experience mood swings 1 min im very high on energy and life then im depressed i cant get out of my bed but today i snapped at my wife for caring i feel aweful now (she was worried i carried my 20 month son and my stiches would open so she called my sister who is a Dr) im still angry inside even got the shakes for the first time in my life all i could see was red i wanted to smash something im not a violent person and i would never even consider hitting her im trying to get the courage to apologize to her but im angry

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Wow. I would say, call your doctor now. Today. This instant! Seriously. This is not normal behavior.

Some things that might cause this are low/high blood sugars or swings, low or high blood pressure swings, reaction to pain meds/anesthesia. Even just having an absence of your coping tool (food).

It's normal to have mood swings and episodes of depression, especially after gut surgery. Just messing with the guts can disrupt neurohormones that affect mood. BUT, if you are having idiations of violent rage, you need to be evaluated and to potentially have a med on board.

Also, you may be seriously dehydrated. So I would immediately (if it was me--I'm not a professional), start invisioning peaceful scenes, taking super deep, slow breaths, and dumping water into my system as much as my surgery allows. And I would remove myself from the family and lay on cool, sheets with low light and lots of air moving. No loud noises or tv. Maybe low peaceful slow music...but only if it doesn't agitate or annoy.

Edited March 11, 20188 yr by FluffyChix

Wow. I would say, call your doctor now. Today. This instant! Seriously. This is not normal behavior.
Some things that might cause this are low/high blood sugars or swings, low or high blood pressure swings, reaction to pain meds/anesthesia. Even just having an absence of your coping tool (food).
It's normal to have mood swings and episodes of depression, especially after gut surgery. Just messing with the guts can disrupt neurohormones that affect mood. BUT, if you are having idiations of violent rage, you need to be evaluated and to potentially have a med on board.
Also, you may be seriously dehydrated. So I would immediately (if it was me--I'm not a professional), start invisioning peaceful scenes, taking super deep, slow breaths, and dumping Water into my system as much as my surgery allows. And I would remove myself from the family and lay on cool, sheets with low light and lots of air moving. No loud noises or tv. Maybe low peaceful slow music...but only if it doesn't agitate or annoy.

For sure, i dont even know why i got triggered just finished talking to my Dr i have a psych consult for tomorrow in the am just to be safe in the mean time thx for the support

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Hey if talking helps, stay here and post away. Someone will answer. None of us are equipped to be able to truly help with good advice, but we can at least be people online!

Glad you talked to doc and have a psych follow up. I'm serious about downing the water. It can't hurt. Can it? Get well-hydrated. And keep the temp low so that it's very cool around you. Also a cool, wet cloth on the back of your neck at the base of your skull or at the front of your neck over your jugulars and carotid arteries is helpful and keep stimulation low. If your child is making too much noise, then maybe see if your wife and child can stay with fam until tomorrow?

Edited March 11, 20188 yr by FluffyChix

My moods are definitely more labile now. I think a lot of it has to do with not being able to use food to cope with my emotions. I am forced to feel sad, or feel angry, and the emotions come out whereas before I was able to eat them away.

Its definitely a learning process and it May take some time for the emotional part of this to level off. Lots of us were emotional eaters and used food for comfort and then post op we physically are unable to do that. We have to deal with that emotional aspect now.

Good for you for seeking help.

My moods are definitely more labile now. I think a lot of it has to do with not being able to use food to cope with my emotions. I am forced to feel sad, or feel angry, and the emotions come out whereas before I was able to eat them away.
Its definitely a learning process and it May take some time for the emotional part of this to level off. Lots of us were emotional eaters and used food for comfort and then post op we physically are unable to do that. We have to deal with that emotional aspect now.
Good for you for seeking help.

Thx for the response its good to know im not the only one

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In the meantime think happy thoughts, remember how happy you were when your baby was born , how proud you are to be a daddy, how much you love your little guy, now think about taking him to the seashore, how much fun you're going to have teaching him to throw a ball, go fish maybe someday work on cars or motorcycles together? Now because of your surgery and the ensuing weight loss you'll be able to run and play with him. He could grow up to be a Doug Flutie or a Tom Brady, you'll be able to live long enough to teach him so much. Think how much you love your wife, how happy you are to share a life together. As soon as the weather gets better start taking walks outside, look around at nature and look for something to enjoy and be happy about there. My tulips are starting b to come up, pretty soon I'll have pretty flowers. If you live in the city admire the straightness of the streets, the buildings ,well a builder had to plan that all out. It may sound corny but try to take pleasure in the small things. You are going to make it through this and you'll come out all right. There is no gain without a little pain. Now take a deep breath and give your little guy a smile for me.

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In the meantime think happy thoughts, remember how happy you were when your baby was born , how proud you are to be a daddy, how much you love your little guy, now think about taking him to the seashore, how much fun you're going to have teaching him to throw a ball, go fish maybe someday work on cars or motorcycles together? Now because of your surgery and the ensuing weight loss you'll be able to run and play with him. He could grow up to be a Doug Flutie or a Tom Brady, you'll be able to live long enough to teach him so much. Think how much you love your wife, how happy you are to share a life together. As soon as the weather gets better start taking walks outside, look around at nature and look for something to enjoy and be happy about there. My tulips are starting b to come up, pretty soon I'll have pretty flowers. If you live in the city admire the straightness of the streets, the buildings ,well a builder had to plan that all out. It may sound corny but try to take pleasure in the small things. You are going to make it through this and you'll come out all right. There is no gain without a little pain. Now take a deep breath and give your little guy a smile for me.

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Thank you so much for your response I'll be sure to do that, i did some meditation and played with them and now im feeling way beter

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On 3/11/2018 at 1:40 PM, MiltonP said:

Ive always had a temper in the back of my head but manage to get it under control ive always done martial arts and im said to be the most peaceful guy around i dont raise my voice or go looking for trouble infact i avoid it mostly because i wouldnt like to hurt another person, after 4th day of surgery started feeling a little depress the on 5th day started out experience mood swings 1 min im very high on energy and life then im depressed i cant get out of my bed but today i snapped at my wife for caring i feel aweful now (she was worried i carried my 20 month son and my stiches would open so she called my sister who is a Dr) im still angry inside even got the shakes for the first time in my life all i could see was red i wanted to smash something im not a violent person and i would never even consider hitting her im trying to get the courage to apologize to her but im angry

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@MiltonP I applaud you for your courage to be vulnerable and reach out here. It’s not easy for many people to admit feelings of rage. I’m so glad you were able to get a psych appt so soon. I’m seeing my psychiatric nurse practitioner regularly right now bc I’m prone to depression and anxiety. And, it’s common to become depressed post-operatively (although not everyone does.) Over time, chronic depression is reduced as a result of WLS.

It seems to me from what you shared that you are dealing with a lot: recent surgery, not eating, some level of pain, parenting a young son, and probably even more. My husband is extremely moody when he’s hungry. The word “hangry” definitely describes him. It’s difficult to be around him when he gets like that. It’s that bad. And, you have that plus everything else to deal with.

We’re truly fortunate to have loved ones who can care for us post-surgery. If you haven’t already bc you’re still fuming, why not find a way to ease some of your tension so you can apologize to your wife? A hot shower? A walk? Some sleep? I always try to keep in mind that I’ve chosen my husband for life and, because of that, I want to behave in a way that nurtures that relationship (even in tough times) so that there are not mini-tears in it that eventually cause it to crumble. I still have very real feelings...anger, frustration, etc. but I don’t do things or say things that will erode what we have (like call him names). I’m not suggesting that you’ve don’t that, just sharing.

You’re pretty amazing and real. Please keep all of us posted on how you’re doing. Sending prayers and warm wishes your way.