FunkyMunkyBrat

Why Psychologists Deny Certain People for Weight Loss Surgery and How to Not be One of Them


I have worked as a psychologist, providing psychological evaluations prior to bariatric weight loss surgery for the past eight years. For the most part, people need a power tool to help them lose and keep off the weight they have lost over and over again in their lives. The gastric sleeve, bypass, and now balloon are those tools. However, every once in a while, I will encounter someone who believes these procedures are the magic bullet.
I can pick this up in five seconds when I learn that:
this person has no exercise plan to maintain their weight loss a barrage of excuses as to why they can't exercise anymore zero insight into why they are overweight ("I don't know why I am overweight, I just eat steamed vegetables and grilled chicken mostly.") a lack of motivation or understanding for why they also have to engage in behavioral modification in addition to the surgery "Why would you reveal all of this?" you ask. Aren't I giving away the keys to the kingdom to anyone who reads this and wants to pass a psychological evaluation? Perhaps- but who are you really cheating if you don't go within and face the real demons that got you here in the first place?
When I ask people about their eating styles, I tend to group them into four categories:
1) emotional eater- someone who uses food when they are bored, stressed, tired, lonely, sad, or even happy in addition to eating when they are hungry
2) skip and binger- someone who fails to think about food until it is too late, and when they are ravenous end up going for whatever is available which is usually some type of carb and calorie laden fast food
3) miscellaneous- someone who just recognizes that they eat too large of portion sizes and/or the wrong types of food
4) food addict- usually someone with a history of other addictions, trauma, and a significant amount of weight to lose. They usually have comorbid psychological diagnoses that have been unaddressed or ill-addressed.
Out of the four categories, the 4th is the most troubling for a psychologist. This particular person is most correlated with the patient who fails to address their core issues, eats "around the sleeve," or bypass, experiences dumping syndrome, comes back a year later and asks for the bypass, or a different procedure.
This is the person who, ironically, is usually the most resistant to my recommendation that they seek therapeutic support prior to the surgery. They want it done YESTERDAY. They want it NOW. It is this type of thinking that got them into trouble in the first place. The impulsivity and lack of emotional regulation.
I've witnessed people fail to address their maladaptive eating patterns and never quite get to their goal weight. I had a male that would buy a bag of pepperonis at the grocery store and snack on them all day and couldn't understand why he wasn't losing weight. This daily "snack," which was a mental security blanket, served as a veritable IV drip of fat and calories throughout the day.
I've had a woman who figured out how to ground up her favorite foods into a liquid form because she never quite let go of her attachment to "comfort foods." One of her most notable liquid concoctions consisted of chicken and Cheetos. I'll just leave that for you to chew...er swallow.
They say with drug and alcohol recovery- you "slay the dragon," but with food addiction recovery, you have to take it for a walk three times a day. If you don't fundamentally shift your relationship with this dragon, you're going to get burnt when you are walking it.
My number one tip for transforming your relationship with food is to start looking at eating the same way you do as brushing and flossing: You don't necessarily salivate at the idea of what type of toothpaste you will use, where you will do it, who you will do it with, right? You just do it twice a day because you don't want to lose your teeth and you want to maintain healthy gums.
Food has to be thought of in the same way. You fuel up. You don't use food as a place to define your quality of life. You don't use food to Celebrate. You don't use food to demarcate the end of a long day. You don't use food to help you feel less alone. You figure out healthier coping alternatives to meet these needs.
Loneliness-call a friend for support
Celebrate- get a massage
Demarcate the end of a long day- start a tea ritual and use essential oils
Another reason you must say goodbye to comfort food is that it triggers the pleasure center of the brain, which ignites our dopamine, which perpetuates the addiction. Many people think we are just telling them to get rid of the comfort food because of the carbs or calories, but there are unique and harmful chemical consequences to ingesting these types of food we know are bad for us.
If you are ready to take a modern approach to weight loss and stop dieting for good- check out my wls/vsg psychological support course here for free.
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Some of these men specifically were attracted to you for one of several different reasons.. Either that's just what they really are attracted to.. Or ice found lots of times it's because of their own insecurities and they don't feel like they have to worry about you cheating or worry about other guys hitting in you..

Munky

Some of these men specifically were attracted to you for one of several different reasons.. Either that's just what they really are attracted to.. Or ice found lots of times it's because of their own insecurities and they don't feel like they have to worry about you cheating or worry about other guys hitting in you..

Munky

So, I'm a complicated widow of almost 4 years. I've tried the online dating thing a few times. Once quite recently. Because of my size I hate my full body picture taken. So I don't have many. I actually found one on my phone the other day and sent it to a man I'd been speaking to (texting with) and within hours of receiving the picture, he mysteriously loses his phone we've been texting on and he starts texting from a phone with a number from another state!
I had high hopes for this one,too. It took a lot of guts on my part to send him that picture to begin with. Now I'm questioning all the strength I built up to send it in the first place. It's like it's gone. If I can't trust someone to like or even love me for what's inside of me now, then how am I supposed to trust anyone to like or even love me when I'm a skinny Minnie?
Had anyone had these feelings or gone through this? Do you know anyone who's had the surgery and then met their one and them not question why now and not then?

I WOULD wait.. But the reason I say that is because IF God forbid you have any complications like I did you'd end up not being able to go on your cruise.. Just a thought.. I had my surgery the 22nd of November.. Ended up having to be opened up.. The 2 weeks after being released from the hospital ended up back in with infection.. Got released 4 days latet with a wound vac.. Thats finally off but I still have 2 wounds that have to be packed every day and new dressings.. Anyways.. Wish you the best whichever you chose!
Munky

It's because fat keeps those wrinkles filled out.. I noticed the aged thing when my younger sister had bypass 10 or so years ago.. She looks older than I do.. That won't last I guess since I finally had the bypass 2 months ago
Munky

Don't stock up pre surgery because your taste can change after surgery!

My wardrobe over the past many years has been varying shades of black or gray (see last pic). I have been shopping thrift stores mainly until I get to a place where my weight stabilizes, but decided I could use a couple of new items, so I decided to splurge. I bought WHITE pants!!! LOL. I know it may not seem like a big deal, but let me tell you, it really is. I've always carried so much of my weight in my butt and thighs and always chose dark colors for skirts and pants. It felt so good to buy a nice pair of white pants for spring, lol. In a size 10 no less. Squeeee!!!! 5 months out and gone from a size 18/20 in pants to a size 10!!! I am doing a celebration dance over here! No regrets!

I saw this picture and it really resonated with me. There are going to be days when you fall off plan a little bit but all you need to do is get back on that train. I wanted to share this because I think everyone can relate!
This weekend I know I fell off a little bit, traveling is always extra hard on me but today is a new day! I'm back on plan and ready to take on some healthy meals.

Onward and downward!

Every time I see pics like this I'm in awe. 6 years ago myrtle beach and last week myrtle beach trip

Not to mention the fried foods and high fat foods are partly what helped to get us into this position .. So I'd say go easy on that stuff even if you can tolerate it.. These surgeries aren't a cure they are a tool.. It is possible to gain weight back after you've lost!
Good luck on your wljourney

Munky

Not to mention the fried foods and high fat foods are partly what helped to get us into this position .. So I'd say go easy on that stuff even if you can tolerate it.. These surgeries aren't a cure they are a tool.. It is possible to gain weight back after you've lost!
Good luck on your wljourney

Munky

Don't stock up pre surgery because your taste can change after surgery!

Not to mention the fried foods and high fat foods are partly what helped to get us into this position .. So I'd say go easy on that stuff even if you can tolerate it.. These surgeries aren't a cure they are a tool.. It is possible to gain weight back after you've lost!
Good luck on your wljourney

Munky

Tried the beef broth earlier today. Does the same. Tastes good to me but heartburn city

Thank you all so much for your encouragement. Today has been a much better day!

I had a moment of depression after surgery when I realized I wasn't going to find pleasure in food anymore.. That I can't eat the foods I love like I use to so now I really don't care to have them.. Then managed to get my head wrapped around the fact that food is fuel for my body and now that's how I look at it.. Its a mind thing.. Glad to see you're doing better with it.. Keep up the great job

My best suggestion is to replace a current meal with either a Protein shake or broth. Maybe try working up to only having one actual meal on some days to prepare. I did that leading up to my 2 weeks and it seemed to help take the edge off. No matter what the first few days were still tough. It does take a fair amount of mental preparation for it.
I kept in mind all the effort was to help shrink my liver and make surgery easier and that was a big motivator for me. For all the ups and downs and battles I went through for the past 6 months this was the home stretch and would all be worth it in the end.

Today was my first day of soft foods i woke up and decided it was egg day i made 1 egg with tbl spoon of milk to stretch it i had a soft scramble lil bit of Tomato sauce and lil sprinkle of cheese on top took 4-5 small bits and i thru in the towel ..i was stuffed my mom had to finish it and i was good for about 2 hours

Not to mention the fried foods and high fat foods are partly what helped to get us into this position .. So I'd say go easy on that stuff even if you can tolerate it.. These surgeries aren't a cure they are a tool.. It is possible to gain weight back after you've lost!
Good luck on your wljourney

Munky

Not to mention the fried foods and high fat foods are partly what helped to get us into this position .. So I'd say go easy on that stuff even if you can tolerate it.. These surgeries aren't a cure they are a tool.. It is possible to gain weight back after you've lost!
Good luck on your wljourney

Munky

It's because fat keeps those wrinkles filled out.. I noticed the aged thing when my younger sister had bypass 10 or so years ago.. She looks older than I do.. That won't last I guess since I finally had the bypass 2 months ago
Munky

You mean "well bless your heart" ? LoL .. I've heard that can be and is used sorta sarcastically Munky

Below 25-50 grams of carbs a day and high Proteins will put your body into Ketosis and force your body to burn fat for fuel since it doesn't have carbs to burn
Munky

As I said in one of my post, " I don't want any naysayers in my posse". Another piece of the positive energy puzzle is to believe. You have to believe you can do it. Really believe. See yourself succeeding. About 5 months,ago before I made this my decision, I woke from a dream where I saw myself standing in the doorway of my garage to patio entrance. I saw myself hosting a family party. It,was like I was watching myself. I was wearing a pair of yellow Capris with a yellow and white tank top and gold sandals. I was so thin!! I don't even own anything yellow!! Lol. But I look at her (me) now all the time in my mind. Visualize what you wish to become. Believe that you will achieve your goal. And most importantly...pray...ask God to guide and bless you in your journey and then reach for the brass ring. Hold on tight and don't let go. Anything is possible....Believe.!!!!
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