PorkChopExpress

The Duodenal Switch is the most aggressive of all the weight loss surgeries, so I reckon it'll have the toughest recovery physically...but I imagine you knew that, going in. What you're enduring mentally, though, pretty much everyone goes through in some form or another, I think. My first couple of weeks, I was pretty obsessed with food. I was watching food Network a lot. I don't know why I was torturing myself but it was like my brain was raging against the fact that I had taken away its comfort, entertainment...whatever. It was almost like it was trying to punish me, reminding me of what I'd given up. Eventually I started to think of it that way; that my psyche had become so accustomed to using food in ways other than simply providing fuel, that it was rebelling against the change.
But you know what? It passed. The obsessing about food passed, and each strange new wrinkle that I have to deal with mentally or emotionally has passed, given time and exposure. I just realized over the past couple of days that I no longer feel weird about my portions. I used to be dealing with the feeling that it wasn't enough, every time I put my little portion on a plate. Now it feels normal to me.
You are going to go through ups and downs mentally, but be aware of them. Think about why you're feeling the way you are and ask yourself if it's rational. You know why you had the surgery, you know what you wanted to achieve through it. You knew what you were giving up, and the reasons for it. This is where the rubber hits the road...you've had the surgery, and now it's time to change. And I think most of us know that you're feeling the resistance to change that your "old brain" is putting up, because we've all felt it in some form or another. And the unfortunate thing is, we'll all probably be dealing with that for the rest of our lives...working to counteract those impulses. But you took a big step to get it under control...and that is what you've done. You have taken measures that will allow you to get it under control.
The physical stuff will improve as you heal, a little better every day. The mental stuff will take time and conscious effort to change. But it'll come together, you just have to be patient and diligent. Just do what you can. As for the "doctoring" your Protein shakes, I'm afraid of what that means...but I am hoping it doesn't mean adding stuff you shouldn't be having, because you'll only be causing yourself problems if you do that. If all you can do is drink Protein Shakes and you need to skip meals, then do that - as long as you are getting your Protein every day, and you are getting your Water, you will be fine. Over time, you'll get meals in too...just don't sweat it. One foot in front of the other.
And stay off the scale for a few weeks. People obsess about the scale. It is your enemy, avoid it. I am only weighing once a month, personally.

I don't coddle people. I try not to make them feel stupid, or insult them, but I'm going to call them on it when they are excusing their own behavior or seeking someone to enable them.

Pure grit and determination, and focusing on the fact that it had a time limit. I kept reminding myself that I made this decision because I knew I needed to make some major changes, long-lasting changes, and so I started feeling like the pre-op diet was a test of my will and dedication to the process. I started taking pride in not cheating, after a while...no matter how much my stomach rumbled and ached. And sure enough, after surgery, it wasn't a concern anymore. I couldn't even imagine putting anything in there for several days!
One thing that I did do that helped mentally though was, the week prior to the pre-op diet, I went ahead and had whatever meals I would miss. I must have had buffalo wings 4-5 times. And after a while, I think it made something click in my mind and realize that I was being dominated by food. Why did I feel the need to do that week or splurging...wasn't it an acknowledgement that it was food that was at the wheel, and not me? So it ended up being a helpful part of my "letting go" process, which then had to continue for the first 10 days or so after surgery. But I'm in a much better place now, and am embracing change.

It started really early with me and it was a combination of things. My family ate a lot of bread and baked goods, which my mom excelled at making and I loved. We didn't eat super healthy, and when my mom tried to make that stuff, I wouldn't eat it. I was a pill at restaurants, so McDonalds became the go-to for meals when they were out with me. I loved junk food. I was always just sort of a pudgy kid, not necessarily "fat" but heavier than my peers (and bigger in size, taller and broader shoulders). So I took a lot of teasing about my size/weight. I develped low self-esteem from the teasing about my body, but my classmates would react with amazement at how much I could eat at a sitting. I have a particular memory of sloppy joe days at school, which I loved but my classmates didn't...so I'd end up with a stack of 3-4 of them at least, and eat them all. I remember this primarily because a teacher came to me saying they didn't think I should be eating so much, and made me feel ashamed. But I had gotten attention for it from my classmates.
As I got older, I took more razzing from my peers the bigger I got...and I still wasn't THAT bad. But when I went out to play basketball in little league and we'd have to play shirts vs. skins in practice, I was almost always skins...and my flab would jiggle while I played, drawing laughs and jokes from teammates. Kids are just really blunt and cruel. I did lose some weight playing basketball, but my self-esteem took so many hits that I eventually quit athletics entirely.
By the time I graduated high school, I was 190 pounds or so...not terrible for a kid who was over 6' tall, but still heavy. However, it was when I went off to college that things really went south. I discovered that I couldn't do what I thought I was going to do (be a programmer) due to my lack of aptitude in math, and I became depressed. I started sleeping all day and staying up all night, which increased my depression. Which increased my eating, as a comfort. My mom would send care packages that invariably contained cinnamon rolls or Cookies, baked goods that she knew I loved. I ate like crap that year, and I went up to like 230-240 pounds. I dropped out and returned home, and started working random jobs...but I kept eating. Each threshold I'd near, 250 or 300, or 350...I would say, "This far, no further." And then I would blast right past them. I'd put on the breaks and reverse periodically when I got serious about a diet for 5-6 months, then I'd stall out, lose my willpower, fall off the wagon and go right back to my old habits again...and onward and upward.
Late last year, I decided it was time to put a stop to it and that the only way I was going to succeed, having dieted throughout the entire course of my life back to junior high, was to have surgery. I just couldn't achieve 200 pounds of fat loss through sheer will, it had become too monolithic. I needed the help. Now that I've done it, I feel such a sensation of hope, that it's not an "I wish I could lose weight" anymore, but an "I WILL lose the weight."

I wish I'd known about GENEPRO powder, I was so sick of chocolate "shakes" after four weeks of them...
Otherwise, I was pretty knowledgeable after all the time spent in classes and support groups, and reading the internet and such. I think there are unknowns that nobody can prepare you for because they'll be uniquely yours, because it's the mental component we struggle with that makes up the majority of this fight.

I wish I'd known about GENEPRO powder, I was so sick of chocolate "shakes" after four weeks of them...
Otherwise, I was pretty knowledgeable after all the time spent in classes and support groups, and reading the internet and such. I think there are unknowns that nobody can prepare you for because they'll be uniquely yours, because it's the mental component we struggle with that makes up the majority of this fight.

Preparation, preparation, preparation. Not having food prepared, or having a plan for healthy things to get while you're out and can't get home, is DEATH to weight loss. As you have seen, surgery didn't fix your mind. You are not a different person after surgery. The behavior part is on all of us to fix.
The grazing is going to create so much calorie creep in your diet, you'll be shocked.

Well...those people are where the cautionary tales come from. So in a way, their failure can help future patients. I met a guy in one of the support groups I went to prior to surgery who had RNY, he must have weighed over 500lbs. He went in for surgery, lost about 100 pounds over the first six months, but when he was healed up he decided to go back to drinking Coke. Then his pouch stretched out and he started eating crap again, thinking "Wow, the surgery helped me lose 100lbs and I could eat pretty much whatever." In short order, he regained the 100lbs and then some. He was back in another six month pre-op program to have a revision...this time, with the knowledge of what NOT to do. I took his story to heart, and I knew that if you don't go into this with your mind right, you are SCREWED.
I see a whole lot of that on this forum and others. Cautionary tales waiting to be written.

I'm looking forward to moving back to my home state of Colorado this weekend. We split the family up about eight months ago, as my wife was able to find teaching work and have help with the kids with my parents, rent-free in my home state. I stayed behind, as I work in the entertainment industry (video editor) and the thought was that I could make more money to help us pay down the debts that way, and come visit regularly. It hasn't worked out that way though, and it's been harder on everyone than expected. So I started putting the word out in the Denver area that I'm coming available, and I've had a few encouraging meetings with local production facilities and boutiques. No job yet, but I will be doing rideshare/delivery driving to bridge the gap. Thank goodness for the "on demand" economy.
It has been a benefit and a difficulty, enduring the recovery from surgery alone. I had my wife here the weekend of surgery and my mom came to help the first week, but since then it's been all me. It's been good, in that my schedule could be much more regimented and I was able to make sure I was getting everything when I needed it, both meals and Vitamins. When I visited them for four days over Halloween weekend, it proved to be WORLDS harder to get everything, there was just too much going on. Plus, I was much more tired than I expected, dealing with our three kids and doing/going/etc... But I'll have a couple more weeks of recovery on me this weekend and I'm feeling pretty good. The Vitamins and mealtimes will just have to become a routine amidst the relative chaos of family life, again.
But I've missed my wife and the kids, and I know they've missed me. So it's going to be good to reunite the family and keep forging ahead with the financial battle, as I fight my fat loss and fitness battle. It's a battle I think my wife expects to join me in, this coming summer. I think it's good that I went first, so I can help and advise with her recovery, and the mental challenges. In the end, the situation should work toward the good.
In some ways, leaving LA behind after building a career here and living here a third of my life is weird, and a little nerve-wracking, not knowing what the future holds...much as I didn't love it here, I'm used to it. But whenever I go visit CO, I feel "at home" and I've never felt that way coming back here. So I'm sure I'll get over it.
Lots of changes in life, this year...and a lot more to come, next year.

Well, I'm a Libertarian so my hope is that more and more people will realize that the result we had this election was the direct result of the duopoly that forces people into a "one or the other" mindset. We need more choices and in this day and age, with information at our fingertips and sites like isidewith.com to help us narrow the field, there is no reason we should be stuck in this two-party mindset. Except that Americans just seem to love rooting for teams.

I think one thing that keeps driving home how much I've lost is my belt. I was on the fifth hole (tight) when I started all this at 385. I'm now on the last hole and will have to start punching new ones, before too long. I plan to make this belt a reminder of where I came from...I'm just going to keep punching new holes. Until someone tells me it looks ugly and I have to stop, that is.

I think one thing that keeps driving home how much I've lost is my belt. I was on the fifth hole (tight) when I started all this at 385. I'm now on the last hole and will have to start punching new ones, before too long. I plan to make this belt a reminder of where I came from...I'm just going to keep punching new holes. Until someone tells me it looks ugly and I have to stop, that is.

I think one thing that keeps driving home how much I've lost is my belt. I was on the fifth hole (tight) when I started all this at 385. I'm now on the last hole and will have to start punching new ones, before too long. I plan to make this belt a reminder of where I came from...I'm just going to keep punching new holes. Until someone tells me it looks ugly and I have to stop, that is.

You aren't going to need very much post-op, other than Protein shakes...at least not for the first couple of weeks. So don't go crazy on buying a bunch of stuff for post-op. You will be doing mostly Protein Shakes for two weeks after surgery, most likely. You're going to find that you consume so little, it's ridiculous. The broth will come in handy when you puree chicken and stuff like that, but I don't think you're going to find yourself drinking broth post-op. It's mostly a filler for the pre-op diet, to keep your stomach full. It has very little in terms of nutritional content.

It's not real hunger, it's "head hunger." The very fact that you are indulging things that you SHOULD NOT BE INDULGING tells me that your head isn't in the right place, right now. It's normal to be a little obsessive about food the first couple weeks after surgery, your brain has a hard time letting go of its old behaviors. But instead of embracing that change and letting go, you're letting your brain dominate you again. If you continue to do that, you are not going to be successful long-term. The internet is littered with stories of people who did this and regained all of their weight, because they were not committed to change, ignored their surgeon's instructions, did what they wanted and gained it all right back. Sure, the surgery will force you to lose for a while...but it won't stop you from regaining it, if you're motivated.
11 pounds in a week and a half is excellent weight loss, so when you say you think it should be more, it tells me you don't really know how much of a calorie deficit you're running, how many calories your body needs to stay its current weight, and how many pounds you SHOULD be losing, given your calorie deficit. These are all important things to know, and these are knowledge and skills you will need to acquire if you are to be a success.
Right now, you need to commit to following your dietitian and surgeon's instructions with 100% compliance. Not 99%, not mostly kinda sorta, 100% without fail. You also need to commit to a lifelong change in your habits and thought patterns related to food. If you keep letting it dominate you, you will fail at this.
The rumbling in your stomach that you're feeling is not hunger, it is something that goes away after enough time post-surgery...your stomach just had the majority of itself cut away, it is a recovering muscle and it is spasming, doing all kinds of stuff that has nothing to do with hunger. It'll do all of that AFTER you eat, too. You also likely feel a "bite" in your stomach which reminds you of hunger pangs, but in reality is stomach acid buildup because your stomach hasn't adjusted to its new size yet, along with some residual soreness from the full-length staple line. Again, this is something that will resolve in time. It is YOUR HEAD that is driving your feeling that you're hungry...and your behavior is allowing your old mindset to control you, yet again. "I'll just have some of these wings, they're small, I'm so HUNGRY." No, sorry...you're screwing up already...less than two weeks after surgery.
Water, and Protein, in whatever form your dietitian and surgeon have advised. You are probably still supposed to be a liquids only. Next would be puree, most likely. STICK TO YOUR DIET. You went to all the trouble and expense to get operated on, why wouldn't you put the work in to fix the thing they can't operate on - your brain? That is at least 90% of what needs to be fixed, for you to succeed. The surgery was just a tool.
Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I hate it when I see people asking questions about whether they're stretching their stomach or if they should be able to eat so much, when they aren't following the rules that have been laid out for them, at all.

It's a total re-learning process. You HAVE to go slowly. It doesn't even matter if you look at your food and go, "That's hardly anything," you need to make that last at least 20 minutes and more if possible. Your bites should be very small, probably at least half of what you were used to. You have to chew until it's like a liquid in your mouth.

You need to have a talk with your husband about why he feels so strongly against you doing it, and then try helping him see it from your perspective. But a lot of times, I think people react this way for either concern for your health and well-being (fear of complications or even death from surgery), OR they do it because they have their own selfish reasons for you to remain as you are. It's hard to say what his motive is, but you need to clear the air with him and if it's important to you, which I'm sure it is, put your foot down. It's for your long-term health, which is no joke...and your family should appreciate that fact.
To forbid someone from doing something that will improve their health and longevity dramatically is asinine to me. There's something else at work, here.

Bear in mind that my fridge is emptying out because I'm moving this weekend...normally I'd have more store-bought stuff on my menu for the day. This is me halfway into week 7 post-op.
Today it's been like so:
Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with onion and a little cheese, some fruit puree from Trader Joe's (a few spoonfulls)
Protein drink (1 scoop of GENEPRO with a 16oz cup of Crystal Light mix/water
Lunch: 1.5oz of chopped up chicken satay from a restaurant I like (tossed in the peanut sauce) and a couple TBSP of potato salad with egg
Dinner: A small side order of String Bean chicken from Panda Express grabbed on my way to work (I didn't quite finish it)
Will probably add a little Protein Powder to my drink later to make sure I get enough for the day, as well.

Well, the surgeon had to make the decision to switch me from Roux-en-y to vertical sleeve gastrectomy, but the surgery was done successfully yesterday and I'm at home recouperating now. Still trying to get rid of the last of the very uncomfortable gas, but I feel okay. Not very interested in putting anything in my stomach right now, but I'm trying to get fluids and Protein Shakes down...it's just VERY slow going. I get at most maybe 2oz done per hour right now. As the gas pain and general discomfort subside, I'm sure it'll get easier. Unfortunately, apparently the mesh that a prior surgeon used to repair an umbilical hernia was the wrong type, and resulted in my intestines scarring into the mesh such that he couldn't do anything without risking damage to my intestine, so he made the judgment call. I'm glad for that, I don't want complications if I can help it. It's just a bummer because that's what I've been feeding my brain with for over a year and I haven't really read up on VSG, though I imagine it's going to be much the same, behavior-wise.
Anyway, I'm glad to have it behind me and now I just want to make a full recovery and get on with this business of losing weight and getting fit.
On a side note, my pre-surgery weight was 351.2 - I lost over 35 pounds leading up to surgery. Not bad!

I had a couple crates of stuff that had gotten way too small for me over the years. I waited until I had hit a couple of new belt loops on my belt and noticed my t-shirts were getting pretty big, and dug into them (this was about two weeks ago). I found that about half of the stuff fit me perfectly. So I took the "big" clothes and donated them, and started wearing the stuff I'd pulled out of storage. I think in about a month or so, I'll be getting into the rest of the stuff that didn't fit and doing it again.
After that, I'm going to have to wait until those clothes are clearly too big and then start looking at Goodwill...because that will mean I'm into 2x territory again, which is a size I haven't been able to wear since I was probably twenty years old.
That's going to be exciting.

That stuff sucks, I know it. I have had to turn down invitations to go to sporting events because the seats are too narrow for me to even sit down in. Probably not right now, but a couple of months ago they certainly were. Now, I'd probably be able to SQUEEZE into them...but I'd still be really uncomfortable.
Someone asked a couple weeks ago what was the number one thing people were looking forward to about losing weight. My answer was simple - not having to think about my weight/size anymore. Considerations like "Will I fit" will not even exist, anymore. It's going to be so liberating.
You're on the road, the time is coming...you've already taken the biggest step in deciding to do it, so just focus and stay dedicated to your process, you'll get there

Almost everyone in my life only knows me as an obese man. The only people who remember me any differently are the ones I go all the way back to High School and before, with. My wife married an obese man.
So almost everyone in my life is going to have the same adjustment to deal with that I will, in the new version of me that they see. It's like if I decided to shave my sideburns and goatee, and get contacts. People would be a little freaked out by it, at first. Over time, though, they'd get used to it.
Who knows man, maybe I will be uglier when I've reached my goals! But I'll be healthy and feeling great, so it's worth the trade-off, to me.

Pure grit and determination, and focusing on the fact that it had a time limit. I kept reminding myself that I made this decision because I knew I needed to make some major changes, long-lasting changes, and so I started feeling like the pre-op diet was a test of my will and dedication to the process. I started taking pride in not cheating, after a while...no matter how much my stomach rumbled and ached. And sure enough, after surgery, it wasn't a concern anymore. I couldn't even imagine putting anything in there for several days!
One thing that I did do that helped mentally though was, the week prior to the pre-op diet, I went ahead and had whatever meals I would miss. I must have had buffalo wings 4-5 times. And after a while, I think it made something click in my mind and realize that I was being dominated by food. Why did I feel the need to do that week or splurging...wasn't it an acknowledgement that it was food that was at the wheel, and not me? So it ended up being a helpful part of my "letting go" process, which then had to continue for the first 10 days or so after surgery. But I'm in a much better place now, and am embracing change.

Four weeks post-op I was allowed to start on regular Vitamins (Centrum). I was right there with you, the chewables were making me gag.

Almost everyone in my life only knows me as an obese man. The only people who remember me any differently are the ones I go all the way back to High School and before, with. My wife married an obese man.
So almost everyone in my life is going to have the same adjustment to deal with that I will, in the new version of me that they see. It's like if I decided to shave my sideburns and goatee, and get contacts. People would be a little freaked out by it, at first. Over time, though, they'd get used to it.
Who knows man, maybe I will be uglier when I've reached my goals! But I'll be healthy and feeling great, so it's worth the trade-off, to me.