Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

There are people about to have most of their stomach removed who say "I don't have a problem with food". Say what?? I'm pretty sure the Fat Fairy didn't put all this weight on any of us, right? "I couldn't stop myself". Yes, you could have...you DIDN'T. "Everyone does it". No, they don't. YOU did.

As I'm typing this out, it's clear that I'm fed up with the lack of ownership of behavior. It's odd to watch fat people trying to float the same justifications here that they've used for years with other people. Walking into a group of fat people and saying "I don't have a problem with food" is pretty ridiculous...that dog just won't hunt here. If you can't be honest with yourself and a group of people much like yourself, how can you succeed with WLS? The non-ownership of our own actions and capabilities is what got many (most?) of us to where we are and it kills me that there are people STILL wallowing in the 'I don't control myself' pool who are getting WLS. What a waste.

amen

You are spot on. It really is a very sad situation when people are given this amazing opportunity and they can't rise above food to take full advantage of it. It really is a mental game from the very beginning, and I don't think many people who post on here get that. They look at the insurance requirements (if they are using insurance) as "hoops" to jump through instead of thinking about why the requirements are there and how they can actually be beneficial to help them mentally prepare for surgery and their post-op life.

I try to remember that this is a public forum, so there will be a wide variety of opinions from people with very different types of lives, but after being on here for a few months, I am more convinced than ever that LOTS of people get this surgery for the wrong reasons, see it as some kind of magic wand that it isn't, and ultimately are not going to be successful long-term because they refuse to change their relationship with food.

I just think "bless your heart" and move on. People are going to do what they are going to do...

You are spot on. It really is a very sad situation when people are given this amazing opportunity and they can't rise above food to take full advantage of it. It really is a mental game from the very beginning, and I don't think many people who post on here get that. They look at the insurance requirements (if they are using insurance) as "hoops" to jump through instead of thinking about why the requirements are there and how they can actually be beneficial to help them mentally prepare for surgery and their post-op life.

I try to remember that this is a public forum, so there will be a wide variety of opinions from people with very different types of lives, but after being on here for a few months, I am more convinced than ever that LOTS of people get this surgery for the wrong reasons, see it as some kind of magic wand that it isn't, and ultimately are not going to be successful long-term because they refuse to change their relationship with food.

I just think "bless your heart" and move on. People are going to do what they are going to do...

Bless your heart. Too funny. I agree, people piss the opportunity away - over things like a freaking mini Halloween candy. Uhhh... ok.

I think accountability is key to not only weight loss success but all addictions. As they say, You can make excuses or you can make progress, your choice.

Two weeks after surgery I wrote myself a letter admitting my terrible relationship with food. If you don't admit what gets you into bad situations, you are bound to repeat. I think the only way to get rid of demons is to admit they are there, and confront them.

When I read here about people who just ate candy or fried food, etc, I think that they have not yet faced the hardest part of this journey.. mental changes. Like Blizair said "Bless their Hearts".

The posts about putting rolls of quarters in pockets to set an artificial highest weight at first weigh in is sickening. Lying from the start....

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be careful. as one person who has said that type of thing many times before,

you dont want to go down that aisle.

its not worth the flak youll take.

You cant change other people.

Doesnt matter what your intentions are.

Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

Simple solution: stop after one minute.

Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

Simple solution: stop after one minute.

Best advice ever

be careful. as one person who has said that type of thing many times before,

you dont want to go down that aisle.

its not worth the flak youll take.

You cant change other people.

Doesnt matter what your intentions are.

I don't care about the flak...I'm fed up. And I'm ranting about it. I see these people here, in my support group, in the waiting room at my doctor's office...they're everywhere. Complaining, whining, justifying their own crappy choices by asking others to validate them. I'm raising two sons to NOT be backseat drivers to their choices, to not blame their self-created misfortune on others...it's a personal peeve of mine. YMMV, of course.

I guess what I'm trying to understand is why there's so much anger and vitriol instead of compassion and more understanding. None of us get to a place where we need surgery because we've made good choices or had 100% transparency or honesty with ourselves or with others. Sometimes there are issues that run a lot deeper with some folks than others. You just never know a person's background or story.

I also know from my own past (I'm almost nine years out) and many of my friends in the WLS community we all had experiences where when we first had surgery and were doing remarkably well, we felt invincible and full of conviction and top of the world with our choices and actions. It's easy to get to a place of high-ground when you feel that way, which is why I think it's important to remember that it doesn't always stay that way. There are always going to be times when you question others actions, and that's normal and fine. But remember, there are probably others doing the same to you. Extend the same kindness you'd want for yourself.

Being judgemental with each other NEVER helps. Support is not judgemental. Support is support. You're there through the good times and the bad listening, lending an ear, giving the best advice you can through a supportive and encouraging lens that won't further damage someone(s) already struggling.

I guess what I'm trying to understand is why there's so much anger and vitriol instead of compassion and more understanding. None of us get to a place where we need surgery because we've made good choices or had 100% transparency or honesty with ourselves or with others. Sometimes there are issues that run a lot deeper with some folks than others. You just never know a person's background or story.

I also know from my own past (I'm almost nine years out) and many of my friends in the WLS community we all had experiences where when we first had surgery and were doing remarkably well, we felt invincible and full of conviction and top of the world with our choices and actions. It's easy to get to a place of high-ground when you feel that way, which is why I think it's important to remember that it doesn't always stay that way. There are always going to be times when you question others actions, and that's normal and fine. But remember, there are probably others doing the same to you. Extend the same kindness you'd want for yourself.

Being judgemental with each other NEVER helps. Support is not judgemental. Support is support. You're there through the good times and the bad listening, lending an ear, giving the best advice you can through a supportive and encouraging lens that won't further damage someone(s) already struggling.

I think there is a difference between being judgmental and being real. I also think there is a difference between being supportive and becoming an enabler.

The posts about putting rolls of quarters in pockets to set an artificial highest weight at first weigh in is sickening. Lying from the start....

Sent from my SM-G930V using the BariatricPal App

Unless the artificial high weight was needed to meet some arbitrary requirement to get the surgery covered by insurance. That's the only way I can see the "roll of quarters" being ok. But make sure you own it!!

Edited November 3, 20169 yr by kzoojason76

Best advice ever

That's what I do when a topic gets on my nerves or makes me angry (for whatever reason on whatever board). It wasn't always like this though, lol. I think I'm getting old.

Unless the artificial high weight was needed to meet some arbitrary requirement to get the surgery covered by insurance. That's the only way I can see the "roll of quarters" being ok. But make sure you own it!!

What other reason should there be than meeting an arbitrary requirement? Hell, if it's the difference between being at a BMI of 39.8 and being denied and a BMI of 40.1 and getting approved - I'd boost my weight for the important weigh in without even thinking about it!

When it comes to insurance companies and meeting their weight requirements I'd classify that "roll of quarters" as an act of pure self-defense.

Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

There are people about to have most of their stomach removed who say "I don't have a problem with food". Say what?? I'm pretty sure the Fat Fairy didn't put all this weight on any of us, right? "I couldn't stop myself". Yes, you could have...you DIDN'T. "Everyone does it". No, they don't. YOU did.

As I'm typing this out, it's clear that I'm fed up with the lack of ownership of behavior. It's odd to watch fat people trying to float the same justifications here that they've used for years with other people. Walking into a group of fat people and saying "I don't have a problem with food" is pretty ridiculous...that dog just won't hunt here. If you can't be honest with yourself and a group of people much like yourself, how can you succeed with WLS? The non-ownership of our own actions and capabilities is what got many (most?) of us to where we are and it kills me that there are people STILL wallowing in the 'I don't control myself' pool who are getting WLS. What a waste.

In other words, winner winner chicken dinner.