Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

There are people about to have most of their stomach removed who say "I don't have a problem with food". Say what?? I'm pretty sure the Fat Fairy didn't put all this weight on any of us, right? "I couldn't stop myself". Yes, you could have...you DIDN'T. "Everyone does it". No, they don't. YOU did.

As I'm typing this out, it's clear that I'm fed up with the lack of ownership of behavior. It's odd to watch fat people trying to float the same justifications here that they've used for years with other people. Walking into a group of fat people and saying "I don't have a problem with food" is pretty ridiculous...that dog just won't hunt here. If you can't be honest with yourself and a group of people much like yourself, how can you succeed with WLS? The non-ownership of our own actions and capabilities is what got many (most?) of us to where we are and it kills me that there are people STILL wallowing in the 'I don't control myself' pool who are getting WLS. What a waste.

I got snarky responses for the "bless your heart" reference on a post concerning the blatant ignorance of some folks in regards to their doctors orders.

So here goes again, "bless their hearts"

And she knows who she is (snarky poster), I blocked her.

I thought exactly this when girl was asking for help bc she ate a whole pork chop bc she was craving it or some shit @@Day 7 post-op and was in pain... I was thinking how unbelievable people can be

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Oh and I'm from Mississippi @@jane13 so I totally understand the "bless your heart" reference,,, lol, use it quite often myself ????

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I have no clue why this popped up on my phone this morning but as I read first post then second a few more then I stopped reading. I forgot I had the app honestly because I stopped being on here. I had just decided to do the surgery a few months ago, went to the seminar, my first appt was done and I was still up on the air about it. As I started to go through the process, all of the testing read more and I joined this forum to get other people's experiences, see how you all are doing, looked at some on youtube videos I guess to see if I really wanted to do it this time. I started the process three years ago and stopped halfway said I didn't need it because I eat healthy salads, veggies not alot of food, bake not fry and I excercise but here I am three years later. Still weigh the same as when I started, I'll lose it and gain it right back but never go over what I've been. It wasn't my time back then and one thing that I read that I absolutely agree with is that you truly have to mentally prepare yourself for this. I've made my decision based on the fact that I want to be healthier without all the meds I take daily. I can and will honestly say I don't have a problem with food because I barely eat. Which is also a problem lack of eating which I've been working on. I have health issues high blood pressure, asthma, pseudotumorcerebri, and REM apnea as to why I qualify for the surgery because your BMI has to be 40 or above mine is and was 38 my first dr visit. My weight gain came from me taking the birth control shot years ago and I have never been able to go back to under 200 lbs and currently 248 I'm 5' 7". I'm scheduled for surgery Dec 6th and I have my last pre op test today. No backing out this time. I am stocked and ready to start my liquid diet in 2 weeks. Wish you all the best of luck on your journeys ????

Edited November 7, 20169 yr by Missayisha

True, it's like, who do you think got you to be 300lbs..plus..YOU! Now own it, shut up and work the dang tool.

trixie's line

I agree with everyone ..

Before my surgery I am 3 weeks post op I was reading to get support advice to see what it would be like with no surprises.. I have a food disorder I sneaked food everywhere I went ...I would eat very little in front of people and gorge afterwards even hiding from family ..

I read here how someone a couple of weeks after surgery had fried chicken .. I don't get it ..I stopped coming on here ..it supported my food addiction not my weight loss ...at 3 weeks in I'm on pureed foods I could not even imagine fried chicken or anything heavy at this stage ..I went out with family for a birthday dinner I had egg drop soup about 2to 3 Spoons that's all my pouch let me ..the first 2week was hard to read my body..I didn't know when to stop cause I was full took that extra spoon and was in pain ...3 weeks in I still haven't mastered all the time ...

My weakness now is when I eat something my head wants more my pouch says stop ..

And I don't drink as much as I should my body does not allow me too ..

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The posts about putting rolls of quarters in pockets to set an artificial highest weight at first weigh in is sickening. Lying from the start....

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Unless the artificial high weight was needed to meet some arbitrary requirement to get the surgery covered by insurance. That's the only way I can see the "roll of quarters" being ok. But make sure you own it!!

If it is to meet requirements, that's not okay.... We call that insurance fraud. SMH

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Just so we're clear, the word "judgemental" gets thrown around a lot on this forum. You can feel judged by someone, even if they weren't being judgemental and that is your own issue. Not being able to accept the truth.

Judgmental: "I'm a much better person than you, and always will be because I didn't cheat on my pre-op diet. Failures like you don't deserve this wonderful opportunity to change their lives for the better because you're just going to waste it anyway."

Enabling: "I know, I cheated on my pre-op diet too and I was fine so I wouldn't worry about it! It's just a suggested diet anyway and you know what your body needs more than some doctor! You got this girl!"

Bullying: "Why are you so stupid? Morons like you should be taken out of the gene pool, since you obviously took a shallow dive to begin with. If I was there right now I'd seriously whoop you because I can't stand people who come around here looking for sympathy because they are screw ups."

Supportive: "I can appreciate that this is really hard, because I went through it myself 2 years ago. The temptations don't go away, you will probably always struggle some. But it gets easier the longer you make the right choices. I think you really need to consider why you had this surgery if you aren't making 100% efforts to follow your doctor's guidelines."

Again -- great post!

Absolutely correct ..

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Bwahahaha!!!

Pixiesleeve, I wish I could have hit a LOVE emoji instead of a LIKE, too funny!

Reading this and wondering why shelterdog64 seems so focused on what others are doing. We are all addicts and food is our drug of choice and none is better than the next. Live your life and learn to let others travel their own road. I am new to this forum and was disappointed reading ur post. Its very negative and what purpose does it serve. Think about that. Newcomer.

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The posts about putting rolls of quarters in pockets to set an artificial highest weight at first weigh in is sickening. Lying from the start....

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What!? People do that?

I've never heard of that before.

Reading this and wondering why shelterdog64 seems so focused on what others are doing. We are all addicts and food is our drug of choice and none is better than the next. Live your life and learn to let others travel their own road. I am new to this forum and was disappointed reading ur post. Its very negative and what purpose does it serve. Think about that. Newcomer.

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This is a section of the forum called rants and raves and that is the purpose of @@ShelterDog64 post. This is a forum for online support. We all are interested in what others are doing or why would we even be here. For me, I want to learn from others and hopefully others will learn from me. And, Letting someone have their own experience can be dangerous at times. Support in a form to guide someone to better eating behaviors is a good thing. Not following your surgeons plan can be life threatening.

Reading this and wondering why shelterdog64 seems so focused on what others are doing. We are all addicts and food is our drug of choice and none is better than the next. Live your life and learn to let others travel their own road. I am new to this forum and was disappointed reading ur post. Its very negative and what purpose does it serve. Think about that. Newcomer.

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Please note the section of the board. This is the designated area for ranting and raving. It can be incredibly frustrating to have people posting that it's okay to "cheat" on post-op diets, which if it's not countered someone else could read and end up seriously injuring themselves.

Test

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I guess what I'm trying to understand is why there's so much anger and vitriol instead of compassion and more understanding. None of us get to a place where we need surgery because we've made good choices or had 100% transparency or honesty with ourselves or with others. Sometimes there are issues that run a lot deeper with some folks than others. You just never know a person's background or story.

I also know from my own past (I'm almost nine years out) and many of my friends in the WLS community we all had experiences where when we first had surgery and were doing remarkably well, we felt invincible and full of conviction and top of the world with our choices and actions. It's easy to get to a place of high-ground when you feel that way, which is why I think it's important to remember that it doesn't always stay that way. There are always going to be times when you question others actions, and that's normal and fine. But remember, there are probably others doing the same to you. Extend the same kindness you'd want for yourself.

Being judgemental with each other NEVER helps. Support is not judgemental. Support is support. You're there through the good times and the bad listening, lending an ear, giving the best advice you can through a supportive and encouraging lens that won't further damage someone(s) already struggling.

I'm not required to support or uphold someone on the wrong. Especially not a stranger on the Internet. More specifically ethically and morally I am never going to support someone engaging in dangerous self destructive behavior.

Most of us aren't here to sell things or ourselves so we can conduct ourselves in a manner that is aligned to our beliefs and ethics instead of being fake PC to try and make friends with people that are basically self harming. That is not support, that is enabling.

ALSO THIS IS THE RANTS SECTION. PEOPLE CAN RANT HERE.