Just spent an hour of my life I'll never get back reading in the Pre-/Post-Op Sleeve forums and I'm amazed by what people will still, even as they're undertaking MAJOR SURGERY, say to justify their behavior.

There are people about to have most of their stomach removed who say "I don't have a problem with food". Say what?? I'm pretty sure the Fat Fairy didn't put all this weight on any of us, right? "I couldn't stop myself". Yes, you could have...you DIDN'T. "Everyone does it". No, they don't. YOU did.

As I'm typing this out, it's clear that I'm fed up with the lack of ownership of behavior. It's odd to watch fat people trying to float the same justifications here that they've used for years with other people. Walking into a group of fat people and saying "I don't have a problem with food" is pretty ridiculous...that dog just won't hunt here. If you can't be honest with yourself and a group of people much like yourself, how can you succeed with WLS? The non-ownership of our own actions and capabilities is what got many (most?) of us to where we are and it kills me that there are people STILL wallowing in the 'I don't control myself' pool who are getting WLS. What a waste.

@@bayougirlmrsc

Please go through my history and show me one time where I've ever called anyone a name. You can't because I don't.

I won't get into a pissing match with you but I will challenge you to back up your ridiculous accusation. I'll await your findings anxiously.

@@LipstickLady You did it to me last week

@@bayougirlmrsc

No, I didn't. I have screen shots of the entire conversation. Show me what names I called you. You can't because I didn't.

I only discovered these forums a month ago. For the most part, I even enjoy the "little" squabbles, flirtations but especially the camaraderie. I thought FINALLY a place where gender, race, politics, sexual preference or politics didn't matter!! We are all the same!! Obese people who are doing everything and anything to become normal or to live longer.

When I'm irked by a post, I may wince, but I just keep scrolling. No harm, no foul!! With the divisiveness that happens all over the world, and getting closer and closer to us all, this should be a safe place even if it is "Rants & Raves"! I had no counselling before or after surgery and I've learned so much here from vets and newbies!! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to drink while eating!! My surgeon is 4 hours away, which is why I don't get to see him or ask questions!! I took some advice I got on here and it has worked for me!! I cut my coffee in half and my legs aren't quite as achy! I started drinking all my water and lost 2 pounds of the 8 I had regained!! I'm also getting more energy!!

I guess this is my rant!! But, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

<crickets>

I think you've lost sight of where this post is...it's in Rants and Raves. And I think telling people to f**k off while demanding civility isn't a very sound piece of (high) ground to stand on, for anyone.

Yes, I knew that would cause some disagreement and I'm ok with that but I thought "when in Rome do like the Romans do". Hey, it's "rants and raves", so it's ok - right?

But I'm with you - it's not ok to use that kind of language and I apologize for it.

It's all good...I sometimes feeling like saying the same, I just thought it was kind of a funny contrast from the rest of your post. I wish there was a better way to convey tone than the ridiculous emoji selection here!

Here is my complete posting history. Just to make it easier on you:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/index.php?app=core&module=search&do=user_activity&search_app=forums&mid=175552&userMode=content

@@bayougirlmrsc **But the most important thing to remember is that everyday some new person comes to this site looking for help and guidance... asking question and hoping that someone has had a similar issues that can shine some light for them.... I think we should all remember where we were when we all started this journey... all the questions we asked... We, as the Vets of this forum need to give help when we can... and if our voice isn't going to help, then move on to the next post and try and help them....**

And I try REALLY hard to always do that. I came here to rant on a day that I was super, super frustrated, had been to support group and then read a bunch of 'I can't help myself, I'm so weak' type posts and I just needed to vent.

This has, as usual, morphed into a criticism of posting styles and particular people and it's not at all what I intended. I have no personal beef with anyone here and it's sad to see that a few of you decided to use what I wrote to set up yet another attack on a particular person, and to also use slight squabbles as fuel for an even larger fire. So unnecessary.

@@LipstickLady I don't have time to look at all this.... Geez... Lets put it all aside... and go on... You do you and and ill do me... ill avoid your post and you do the same... how bout that? Lets turn the page and move on...

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=poot%20mouth Saw this just now on FB and thought she is so correct and cute... We should all learn from her.. myself included

@@ShelterDog64 So do i...but sometimes i let things and people get to me .... i need to learn to let things go and move on... And i apologize for using your post for nastiness... so i'm dropping this now... Sorry

@@LipstickLady I don't have time to look at all this.... Geez... Lets put it all aside... and go on... You do you and and ill do me... ill avoid your post and you do the same... how bout that? Lets turn the page and move on...

@@bayougirlmrsc

I'll accept your apology for the unfounded and totally incorrect accusation. If I called names "often", you'd be able to find examples in moments.

Don't slander my character. Please and thank you.

Wow, Shelterdog64 seems to me that you want to control everyones journey for them which is clearly your issue. food is an addiction like any addiction and not everyone will march to the same beat or "your" beat. Allow ppl the chance to makes these mistakes and not all of a sudden have this super healthy attitude to eating and this amazing outlook on life just because they have decided to have WLS.

For some ppl it is a last resort and you are right some do not approach it with a clear mind or a logical mindset. You will find a diverse set of folks meeting here from all walks of life with different IQ levels. It would be nice if you maybe avoided spending an hour reading these posts that you say upset you and go for a walk maybe. Allow these people to go on "their" journey and find "their" own way and focus more on accepting that they might have their own set of struggles.

Have a stress free day

@@LipstickLady I think you misunderstood. I wan't apologizing... i was simply saying lets move on...Im sure you have better things to do with your time then going back and forth with a person on the internet.... I know i do.... Just let it go...

@@Ninni **Wow, Shelterdog64 seems to me that you want to control everyones journey for them which is clearly your issue. **

Nope, that's not what I want. You have a nice day, too

@@LipstickLady I think you misunderstood. I wan't apologizing... i was simply saying lets move on...Im sure you have better things to do with your time then going back and forth with a person on the internet.... I know i do.... Just let it go...

I didn't misunderstand at all. This is the second time in the last few days that I was able to pull out proof that your accusations against me are baseless and you suddenly decided it was time to "move on".

Sorry, I will NOT move on when you slander my reputation. Please stop. I don't call names and I don't tell people to "f" off, unlike you. Please don't confuse your behavior with mine.

@@LipstickLady Done with you..... You have to know what kind of person you are when your tag line says.... If you think I suck as a person, click on my profile and then click BLOCK. You won't see my posts. No hard feelings.

@@ShelterDog64 Again Sorry for all this... I've tried to have her let it go, but i guess for some ... it's not possible.