newhope4me

In no particular order... 1. To reach my goal weight (and maintain it) 2. To wear shorts and possibly even a bathing suit in public 3. To feel comfortable enough to go in public with my husband and not be thinking what i know others are thinking (i.e. "omg, she is so huge", etc) 4. To be active and live an active lifestyle, encourage my daughter to do the same

Any story beginning with, "i know someone who knows someone who said..." is usually urban legend. And after reading the medical reasons why this is not true, seems that's right.

I have had my appendix out as well as 3 c-sections. The lapband was a breeze. I got my band on Friday, went back to work on Monday, with no one the wiser (haven't told anyone at work). Sneezing, coughing, those types of things, hurt the most. But all in all, it was an easy recovery.

do you like orange dreamsicles? if so, the vanilla unjury mixed with orange juice is so yummy! try that when you get on full liquids. but once you get back on solids, it has a lot of carbs (thanks to the OJ), but its great for when on liquids

thank you, froggi

Sorry to be a buzzkill... To the father of my children, Personally, even though i hurt for your parents, I am glad you are in jail. And I hope this time its for a while. In there, you can't hurt anyone, can't waste your parents money. Even after not seeing you for more than 6 years and not being with you for more than 11 years, I can't believe you are still putting your parents through all this pain. Also, I wish you would stop writing to your daughter. Out of the 3 kids we have, she's the only one that still has hope for you. I don't like that your parents took her to see you while she was visiting, it just added to her sympathy for you. I worked hard to raise the boys so that they would be nothing like you, it was my motivation during those hard times. You never were a parent to any of them. I never said a negative thing about you in front of them, contrary to what you tell people. I didn't have to, the boys saw what you were, what you did. They saw how hard i fought to give them a better life while not even hearing from thier father, except possibly couple times a year to make empty promises. My oldest doesn't want to even hear from you, "unless he has the money he owes me." You burnt the bridge with the younger son when you told his friend how to make meth during a visit he made to you in jail. What is that, good parenting, how to make extra money? He was so hurt/embarrassed, that now he wants nothing to do with you either. My daughter, yes, mine, has a stepfather who is more of a dad than you will ever be. I would never have cut you out of her life, you did that on your own and now that you are in jail (and wanted here), i don't have to worry about you being any sort of influence on her. I do wish you safety in jail, you are still thier dad and i don't wish you harm. But I do ask that you let them be who they are and unless (yeah right) you get your life right, for good, stay out of thier lives. From A mom who wishes you were just a sperm donor so i would never have to deal with you again

Well, I didn't make the last challenge, but I'm ready to kick my exercise into high gear! ( i will make it, i will make it!) Name.............Current......Goal.........To Go Bunkey1965......210..........205............5 dreamsize8.......216..........190...........26 FeliciaLevy75....259.4.......240...........19.4 laura bough......215..........190...........25 liz_hager..........168..........150...........18 NukeChik..........227..........197...........30 thininside28......271.5........245..........26.5 Cadets71.........231...........219..........12 Wannabthin......199...........179..........20 scrappy_friend..222...........200...........22 TexGirl.............202..........180...........22 Gayle21...........190..........175...........15 MMarg.............220...........199..........21 Jeni 85............189...........169..........20 Newhope4me....163.6........150..........13.6

I just want to agree with kgloverii, the constipation i was not expecting! Constantly I am struggling with this. I eat plenty of fresh veggies, but apparently not enough Water. DRINK YOUR WATER! I already knew how important water is, before i was banded any day that i did not have enough water my fingers would swell, i could tell right away. But now, it is hard for me to get enough water to keep myself regular. (probably TMI, sorry)

i didn't make this challenge. I've been at a plateau for a couple of weeks now. Going to up the exercise beginning this week. I will make the next challenge.

i agree it may have something to do with her self image. My former coworker who was banded about a year before me was like this. She had a reputation of being like this a bit before being banded, i think the sex made her feel attractive for that amount of time. But after she was banded, it was worse. It seemed like her head expanded while her waist decreased. Then, she made a decision (that many of us felt was extremely hasty) that has ruined her life and we are wondering what she is going to do. She worked in the same job for more than 15 years, in hospitality in a facility for only a select few. After she lost about 80 lbs, this one person showed an attraction to her. He had been patronizing her place of employment the whole time she worked there, but not until she lost the weight did he notice her. Within a month, she had quit her job (cannot date the patrons), moved in with him (which in turn burnt several bridges personally for her-family and friends) and they were engaged. About a month ago (less than 9 months into this relationship) he tells her he's going back to his ex wife (who has left him 4 times before, the most recent time for 1/2 million), but that he will put her up in an apt until she can get back on her feet. She has no job, no where to go. For us looking in, we see that she never should have given up so much for someone, especially after less than a month.

What I didn't know before was that you have to relearn how to eat. I was raised in the midwest in a poor farming community. Where i am from the serving sizes are enough to feed a small family. You cleaned your plate, no matter what. there are still times that i struggle to try to clean my plate, even though it hurts. I am still trying to pay attention to the "full" feeling. Yes it is there. Only a few times, when trying to clean my plate, has it felt like "a hotdog is stuck in your esophagus" I have not told anyone (except family) about my decision. I made a huge change in our lifestyle when I was banded. My whole family eats better now, avoiding sugar, eating mostly chicken and veggies. My hubby and daughter order in once a week, thats their treat. I don't feel like i am lying when i tell people that we have changed our lifestyle and we are increasing our exercise. It is the truth. no one needs to know that i am not strong enough to do without the help of the band. I have had one person guess that i had the band, only because she is looking into it, and noticed my eating habits. I was so offguard when she asked me about it, that i hesitated before answering her, but i was honest with her. Because she is "one of us" i am not ashamed. Its easy, for me anyway, to not "eat a whole meal or drink a beer" with friends. You can always say you aren't very hungry, which you wont be as much as you used to be. And if you are changing your lifestyle to a healthier one, not drinking beer is part of that. Instead have a glass of wine or a cocktail (just remember these have a lot of empty calories). Like i said, my most difficult transition was (is still occassionally, if i wait too long between meals) re-learning how to eat.

I was just over 200 lbs when i got banded. I am short and there are several co-morbites in my family. I turn 40 this year, and I was only getting larger. I want to prevent the health problems that my grandparents and now my mother have gone/are going through. I think a bmi of 35, you should be able to get banded. I agree with those who say that by the time you are at 40, it's no longer preventive, but trying to reverse the clock.

I agree! I have suggested so many times. But he's a Marine (and a guy, lol) so that would be admitting weakness.(in his eyes) So it's not going to happen. I've gone to counseling off and on my whole life, he's even supported me through some. But it's not for him he says. He feels he should be able to fix whatever it is between us that is wrong. "That's my job as your husband."

i did talk to him about it today. I told him that apparently i took it wrong, so i wanted to know what he meant. after he sighed (to me this means, "oh, God, here we go again") he told me that he can't articulate what he means very well sometimes. i tried to get him to explain what he meant, and explained how i took it. he said (before letting me finish my explanation of how i took it) that its not how he meant it, but can't articulate what he meant. basically he tried to end the conversation. i just feel like there's something behind the phrase, a feeling he hasn't shared before, he feels he's missing out on something, but feels stuck, i don't know. we did start out as friends, used to go to bars together and hit on other people, i bought him dances with from exotic dancers. but now i feel like we are barely friends. i don't know much about his day unless i overhear him telling his friend. sorry to bother everyone with this, just getting very depressed over this whole situation. but i do thank everyone for thier input.

we were not arguing. he was upset with his day and my lack of response to it (i didn't know he had a bad day, until he told me). i told him i didn't want him to settle with me, i wouldnt want to be the one someone settled for. he said i took it wrong and to stop thinking negatively but didn't say exactly what he meant. i find it hard to look at it positively. our biggest issue is communication, we are both afraid to hurt the other's feelings. so, it is hard to bring it up again to talk about.

well, to me it sounds like, it's too much of a hassle to get out of this, i'm here, so i guess i'll try to make the best of it. in other words, he's settling for me. or am i being paranoid?

hubby said it

That is true, and I have been meaning to take my measurements and compare to my pre-surgery measurements. I haven't checked any of them since then. I know they've changed as I'm wearing smaller clothes. In fact, I bought a 2 pairs of jeans, always wanted this brand (didn't pay full price though, got em on ebay), in my 1st goal size. Well, about a week ago, i was just curious how much further i had to go so tried on one pair of them, and they fit, they were snug, but i didn't have to lay on the bed to zip em! LOL I'm going to try to find a local place to take the white light scan, that is awesome!

"...maybe we weren't meant to be together, but that doesn't mean i'm not going to love you and stay with you." I just want some opinions. I don't want to say how I took it, so as not to cloud your opinion. :confused2:

I did have someone mention that I changed my hairstyle, which i haven't. So i think they are noticing the weight loss, but either don't realize its that, or don't want to mention the weight loss. I've stalled for about a week and half, driving me crazy, but it helps to hear once in a while that someone notices. Helps me keep going

I am just amazed at everyone; I wish i were that confident. I swear i can just hear thier thoughts about me, I used to be the same just appearing in public. I'm getting better at being in public, but the gym thing still terrifies me. I don't know if you just haven't heard the same things I have or what. I know my ex used to be extremely cruel. He would yell things out the car window to people on the street, and they were strangers; he wasn't any more considerate when it came to me. I've also had a job where the girls were very competitive with each other, and looks were everything, to hear what they say about other women, it is just mean!

When you can't eat your dinner because you were nibbling while making it.

this is hard for me because we have tried (and tried and tried) several different agreements (raid schedules, specific days to play, etc) but he always falls back into this awful time consuming obsession. i don't want to make him give up something he enjoys, a hobby would be great-but its beyond a hobby. yesterday was one of those days that really hit me hard. i came home from work and he (as usual) was playing, having a great time. continued to have a great time all nite. but my daughter came to me and asked why i woke her up (she had slept all day) to do her chores, but he sits there and doesnt do anything to help with the household stuff. I've mentioned this to him, about how even she does more and that when he gets upset that she has a lack of respect for him when he's getting onto her about not doing something, its because of the game. For the rest of the night, i was upset. But can't talk to him, hard to talk to someone with headphones on. Usually he will at least get off and come to the bed with me, niether of us like to go to bed without the other. But i was too upset, tired of doing everything and just hating that game, so i went to bed. A while later, something woke me up, he was starting to get ready for bed. He was upset and hurt that i didnt even say anything about going to bed. well, after some talking, he tells that all he needed was "some comfort from my wife." He had a crappy day at work, and wanted me to tell him "everything is going to be ok." Well, how the hell am i suppossed to know that if all i see is him having a great time on the game. I never know what is going on with him unless i overhear him talking about it to his friend. I would never cancel his account, i'm just not like that. Maybe i'm just weak, but i think it is his decision. The computer is very expensive, he built it himself and is amazing, so no way i can smash it or put a virus on it like i would want to sometimes. And he wants me to play, but if i were to start, he would know something was up. Its not my kinda game. I have bought other games, thinking ok, he's a gamer, if i cant beat him, i'll join him, on these games. (wii mario party, ps2 buzz, games like that) We play a few times and he's right back to those games. i want marriage counseling, have suggested it every time we discuss this. but he's a Marine, and that would be admitting weakness. I just think if someone objective made him realize that he definitely plays too much, it would help. I've even talked about having an intervention, but my son (21 yr old) refuses and it would only be me and my 12 yr old daughter, so i dont think it would be effective. I just feel trapped in this worsening dilemna.

BrandZski, A warning should be issued here! WoW is World of Warcraft, a very addicting, family destroying game! This coming from a WoW widow. Here I am sitting on my bed w/ my laptop, while hubby is in his customary place at his computer playing WoW. From the time he gets home from work, until he goes to bed, he is there. It is ruining our relationship but he doesn't believe it. He cuts back here and there, but it's like an addiction, he always goes back to it. Our yard hasn't been mowed in about 2 months, the cars don't get washed unless i do it when i get gas, he has a pile of 2 ltr soda bottles that possibly about every other week he finally gets rid of them. I do enough with my own job, being a mom and the extra work i bring home that i do not do his work for him.

I have always been the insecure one and hubby has the patience of a saint in dealing with it. However, right before I got banded, during an arguement, he blurted out, "Just go ahead and have your surgery and then find someone better, it's what you're going to do anyway" That really shocked me. We spoke about his fears, which, like mine, were due to his past. But I do think that like libra, i am showing him more attention because I feel more confident and that is helping us both. He knows that my personality won't change. I think I will always have a "fat personality." I feel he was concerned that I would get full of myself and feel i was better than him and deserved better. Never happen!