want_so_bad

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY! who are you (in the general sense) to care what bob and tom or sue and linda do? does a homosexual couple being married change your marriage? i think not. you are still married. and i second apples question...patty what would you do if one of your children came home and announced they were gay? love them any less? disown them? hate and condemn them, or wait, i am sorry, their sin, not them, as you stated? i just dont understand having such feelings towards something that you dont understand. but i guess that could be the reason too?? i dont know. i am a heterosexual, married, mother. i only know a handful of gay people. i am not claiming that i understand homosexuality in any way, but i am accepting of it as a way of life and a way of being. who i am to judge someone else's feelings and being? i think its possible to believe in god and heaven and hell and sin and all that and not be so judgemental in the process. and damnit if i cant remember what the actual question/thought of this thread even was!

i had surgery w/ dr huacuz in 2007. i cant say anything about the safety due to recent events. but i can say that i am so happy i had it done! he was nice as was his staff. i dont know any spanish so communicating with the nurses was soso, but not bad. i had it done thursday and was back to work monday! the only time i was really really uncomfortable and would have taken some was the trip home. we had the the drive to san diego, the flight home, and then the drive home. it was a very long day and i was pretty dang sore. i was glad i had some at home from something else. i had that same freaky feeling about going to Mexico. i made a pact with my mom, who went with me, if we get there and things just dont feel right or its scary- no surgery and we go home. it was both of ours first time in mexico. while things are different from home, it wasnt bad. i did freak out a little and start bawling my eyes out when i got in the or and on the table. he talked to me, reassured me, made sure i was ok. they gassed me a little, and then my feet were moving with the music they had playin. thats all i remember and i woke up in my room. i know if you search his name here there are tons of posts about him. some good, some not. its such a touchy thing, trying to find a doctor. i did basically no research. i knew a lady that had it done w/ him. she loved him. her friend and the friends entire family had used him. after looking at their before and after pictures, i was sold. and i have no regrets.

i saw a loss on the scale today. and that felt good!

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off. ********************************************** just keep swimming, just keep swimming -dori the fish, finding nemo ********************************************** nothing tastes as good as being thin will feel -dont know who, its on someone's signature ********************************************** does this dress make me look fat? its not the dress that makes you look fat. its the fat that makes you look fat. -the back forty calendar (its hanging up in my office. i know it probably doesnt seem motivational, but it is for me??, plus its funny)

i had a very similar experience. got too tight, unfilled (but for months!!), gained some weight, started to get refilled. i have found that i am "sensitive" to fills, as the doctor puts it. after going back to start the refill process i have had to have very small fills or i close up completely and have to get unfilled completely and start all over. its hell. my advice would to just go slow. best of luck.

i have had a freakin crap of a day! went for that fill. told the dr how i have been able to eat more and anything since the last fill a month ago. he said ok, lets look. i no Fluid in my band! when i got the fill in march it was 2.1 cc. today it was .2 cc. WTF???? so yeah, i am freakin the #*%@ out! the dr tells me of the few reasons it may be, the FREAK, ALMOST NEVER HAPPEN reasons this could happen. perhaps when i sat up last time for the fluoro i pulled the needle out of the port and when he added fluid it didnt go in the band, just into me. or, and he says he has only done this one time, he just didnt put it back in. maybe got to discussing things with me and didnt realize he didnt push it in. something strange like that. or, more likely, i have a leak somewhere. wtf now? i am seriously freakin out and upset and in a panic. i ask him how i find out for sure. he said, well, you will know if this fill works or not. and i said, and if not? he said i will have to call my surgeon. who is in Mexico. just freakin great. and to add to it my dear dear dh is mad about it. yes dear, its my fault. i thought, gee, lets get a leak...that sounds fun. *(@#$(*@#&)(@#&$(&@#($*@(#$#@*$)(@#$)(&@#&$&$(*@(*$&@#(*((. ARGHHH!!!! so i sit here in a state of shock. do i just go ahead and try to eat something? to see if it worked? or do i follow my normal rules and stay liquid and soft foods for a day or two and then try? just in case it did work and this was some fluke strange thing??? oh what to do, what to do!! i want to EAT!!! the whole emotional eating thing is rearing its ugly head. think i will just go hide in the bathroom and cry some more. all this and i still had to come to work. damn my day! what do i do? oh, and i posted this in another thread in a different area. sorry for the double posting. just hoping for some feedback. thanks.

i used to use food for celebrating too. or being sad, or upset, or mad. perty much any emotion. its something i am working on. getting better, but not all the way there yet. i figure its something i will struggle with forever. as for the scale. its my best friendemy. i have a little ocd thing going on with the ritual i have. if i dont get to it i worry think about it all day. so yeah, just another thing i need to work on. lol.

WTG! congrats. i know how hard that can be. dang kids! and i feel yeah on the tears part too. i know all to well about hiding out in the bathroom, crying over wanting something so bad, but cant/shouldnt/didnt. glad those times are fewer and farther between. keep up the great work.

thanks so much everyone! i really needed that. i have just been having a rough go of things lately and it seems i let every little thing like that get into my head and i think i am just blowing it. but everyone was/is right. and today i am better and doing good. i do have to be better about not freakin out so much when/if i eat something i shouldn't (all the time). thanks again!

this is so me. i was so close to goal and have just totally ruined that. and continue to do so each day. i have even had a consult w/ the ps for a tummy tuck. thats is what i have wanted more then anything for as long as i can remember. now that i am thisclose....i am gaining. i am eating crap. i know i shouldnt. if i exercise i just excuse my overeating as being ok because i am working out. hello me!!!!???? exercise doesnt matter when you just eat it all back plus some. any suggestions would be great. thank you.

thank you for taking the time to respond for me. you are so right about needing to focus on shape and size, not the number on the scale. i have a hard time with that. i am now waiting to hear back from my insurance to see if the will cover a panniculectomy. my regular doctor wrote a letter of medical necessity, so we will see how that goes. thanks again.

something is seriously wrong with me. i am really starting to believe that. wth? am i doing to myself? today i decided that mcdonalds sounded good. and i ate it. now i am just sick with myself and just found myself thinking about going to make myself puke. wth? i didnt do it, and dont think i will. just that i even started thinkin like that is scary to me. i have been having a yo-yoing time lately. good then bad, high then low...it sucks. all since my last fill and i can now eat anything whereas before i at least had some restriction. i go next tuesday for anther fill, thank god! i have to keep it together until then. ARGGHHHHH, i am so frustrated with myself.

4/2-(trying to remember) 6:00 am- coffee w/ sugar and fv creamer 2:00 pm- chicken blt salad. ate chicken breast and maybe 1/4 of actual salad w/ honey mustard dressing 9:00 pm- bowl special k fruit and yogurt Cereal w/ fat free milk 4/3- (trying to remember again) 6:00 am- coffee w/ sugar and fv creamer 10:00 am- 12 peanut m&m's 3:15 pm- hamburger patty w/ cheese, 1/2 large fry, med vanilla shake 7:00 pm- almost 1/2 cup hamburger helper mac/cheese, 1/4 corn, 1/2 slice bread w/ butter 4/4 8:30 am- coffee w/ sugar and fv creamer 2:00 pm- approx 10 potato chip w/ clam dip, 3-4 corn chips w/ guacamole, 2 hard boiled eggs 6:00 pm- 1/4 cup mashed potato, 1/4 cup corn (??amt-med spoonful?), roll, 1-1 1/2 oz turkey breast drizzled w/ gravy (very small amt gravy), 1/2 slice ham, 1/4 c fruit salad 11:00 pm- small slice of strawberry shortcake 12:30 pm- small sliver of raspberry cheesecake (piece was very small, 3 bites) 4/5 8:30 am- 1/2 cup coffee w/ sugar and fv creamer 10:00 am- roll w/ butter and honey 1:00 pm- 1/2 roll w/ 1/2 slice ham and slice colby jack cheese 3:30 pm- 1/4 bag popcorn w/ butter, bag swedish fish, lg pink lemonade, 1 milk dud, maybe like 15 skittles 7:00 pm- 1 hard boiled egg, 1/2 egg salad sandwich, 1 banana

yeah, i dont really know to be honest. i think so. i have just made sure i am drinking extra water through the day.

thank you cathy. i dont really think i have one. just get paranoid sometimes when i know i havent done the greatest with sticking to it, ya know? plus, since my last fill i can eat more (in quanity and variety) then before the fill. i have another fill scheduled for the 14 and its w/ fluoro so i will be able to know for sure. thanks!

i bought a sauna suit at wallyworld to wear while working out. you know, the kinda plastic/vinyl shirt and pants that make you sweat. i am wondering how much it really helps. i know that i am drenched, literally, drenched, can ring out my shirt and pants that i wear under it when i am done on the treadmill. i vary walking and jogging for 25 minutes. anyone else ever tried them?

what are the symptoms of a stretched pouch? i understand that you are able to eat more because of it, but is there pain involved? does it hurt? are you just suddenly able to eat more? how does it work? please someone help me. i have tried the search thing but am just no good at it or something. thanks.

i am so there with you! from the slow but steady weight loss to the plateau and then to the eating around the band. i too am working on getting back onto plan. any threads/posts you find to help you out, please let me know!

4/1/09 started morning off right! so happy about this after last night! 5:00 am- 25 minutes on treadmill! 6:00 am- cup coffee w/ sugar and vanilla creamer 10:00 am- dannon light and fit strawberry yogurt cup (4oz-60 cal) 1:00 pm- reese's Peanut Butter cup 2:00 pm- chocolate slim fast 4:30 pm- other reese's peanut butter cup 6:45 pm- 1/4 c mashed potato, 1/2 cup mixed green salad w/ small amt ranch dressing, 1/2 roll 8:00 pm- 1/2 roll w/ honey ***i should have drank my slim fast earlier instead of eating the candy. bad choice. and i am going to buy some fruit and more yogurt so i have better choices available at home if i feel the need to have that late evening snack.***

mimi- same here. not one pant size have i been able to change. just because of the shape of my belly. i know what i want to do, why is it so hard? lol, stupid me!

and i dont mean the sexy kind, you know, the ones on men! i am talking about the OMG! where the hell are they coming from hairs that crop up. what kind of products do you find work best to remove your unwanted facial hair? what works good for stubborn hair?

noel- congrats on the amount you have lost thus far. great job. i hope your fill goes well next week and gives you back the control you are looking for. i am going to call this afternoon and make another fill appointment as well. i bet that will help us both. since you need both knees replaced, what kinds of exercises can you do? even something small, like walking around the block would be a good place to start. or have you tried water aerobics? that would probably be excellent for you since the water would keep your weight off your knees. please let us know how your fill goes.

i was that way too. liquid only each morning. mine used to last until noon or so. oh how i miss that! lol. are you following the rules but eating more? has your exercise changed? have you tried changing up what you do or the amount of calories for a few days? i know i have read lots and lots of threads where people suggest this. good luck!

100% vanity. was sick to death of looking like i did. never being able to buy or fit into the clothes i wanted to buy/wear. improving health is the nice side effect for me. i was pretty healthy (besides being fat) before and led an active lifestyle. it has been all about how i look.

mimi- i went the beginning of march for my consult and quote. the doctor was very excited that he could really help me with it and make me look "incredible". he loves to work with weight loss patients. he told me if losing more weight was my 100% mission and i wouldnt be happy until that certain number was on the scale then i should wait until i was there and stable. he said if i was going to be happy where i am and didnt plan on losing a big bunch of more weight, then i should go ahead because he could really help me. so that just didnt help me at all. probably made my choice even harder!