possible leak

i have had a freakin crap of a day!

went for that fill. told the dr how i have been able to eat more and anything since the last fill a month ago. he said ok, lets look. i no Fluid in my band! when i got the fill in march it was 2.1 cc. today it was .2 cc. WTF???? so yeah, i am freakin the #*%@ out! the dr tells me of the few reasons it may be, the FREAK, ALMOST NEVER HAPPEN reasons this could happen. perhaps when i sat up last time for the fluoro i pulled the needle out of the port and when he added fluid it didnt go in the band, just into me. or, and he says he has only done this one time, he just didnt put it back in. maybe got to discussing things with me and didnt realize he didnt push it in. something strange like that.

or, more likely, i have a leak somewhere. wtf now? i am seriously freakin out and upset and in a panic. i ask him how i find out for sure. he said, well, you will know if this fill works or not. and i said, and if not? he said i will have to call my surgeon. who is in Mexico. just freakin great.

and to add to it my dear dear dh is mad about it. yes dear, its my fault. i thought, gee, lets get a leak...that sounds fun. *(@#$(*@#&)(@#&$(&@#($*@(#$#@*$)(@#$)(&@#&$&$(*@(*$&@#(*((. ARGHHH!!!!

so i sit here in a state of shock. do i just go ahead and try to eat something? to see if it worked? or do i follow my normal rules and stay liquid and soft foods for a day or two and then try? just in case it did work and this was some fluke strange thing??? oh what to do, what to do!! i want to EAT!!! the whole emotional eating thing is rearing its ugly head.

think i will just go hide in the bathroom and cry some more. all this and i still had to come to work. damn my day!

what do i do?

oh, and i posted this in another thread in a different area. sorry for the double posting. just hoping for some feedback. thanks.