kimalicious

Tommy, I will so pray for you. So ok, I don't pray in a Christian sense, but I do pray in a worldly way. I know how much you love the peanut butter. I want to join in on lent. I'm not religious, but I wanna play too! I will have to think of something that will be hard for me and try not to make it too easy on myself....I will post again when I figure it out...hmmmm

Never thought of that. The meds could have surely been a factor. I will have to remember that next time I take something like that to see if it happens again. Thank goodness I haven't needed any pain meds since my surgery for anything. I would hope to keep it that way, ha!

Ok, I think it's clear! There is no more cake roaming around and I have not gotten any of it, and was able to turn down all the offers! Phew, that was a tough one! Now only 7 more hours till bed, Sweet Pete this has been a long fighting day!

But, I love my off brand Flinstones!! I have only been taking 1 a dayalso. I hate all the viactiv chewy crap...Crap, now I will have to find something else.

I probably won't shoot them, I just saw cake number 3 coming by, holy crap, these people know how to party! Maybe now I will shoot them. One of them has been passed out so I have steered clear so far! 2 more to say no to as they come by!! Come on WILL POWER!!! NO CAKE!

I would mos def do it over. Even if I never lose another pound the 68 pounds I've lost so far were so worth it. I have a lot more to go, but to me the fact that people know I had weight loss surgery is the biggest thing that pushes me to get back on the wagon when I fall off. If it was just another diet I would have already gained all of this back and then some. Good luck with your research!!

OK, I have been really working at my weightloss all weekend, doin really good and then today at work there are 2 birthdays in my area meaning 2 birthday cakes. One is my favorite cookie cake with icing and then the other, which is freakin awesome, it's cake on the bottom, vanilla ice cream in the middle and more cake on the top, then topped with icing. God I wanna die. I WILL NOT EAT CAKE!!! I WILL NOT EAT CAKE!!! It's like people are trying to make this really hard for me today and my caffeine headache will not go away either. I'm on DAY 3 of no caffeine!! Why must my co workers mock me by having their birthdays the day I am trying to be good!! NO CAKE!!

I have had this off and on since I was little, never for more than one night at a time, just like my legs are anxious...probably only had it like 15 times my entire life. I got it really bad after Lap Band Sugery, I guess from lack of movement during the day and then trying to sleep at night when I wasn't tired. I have to walk it off basically. I have also always had bad charley horses since elementary school. I wonder if the two are related? I have huge man calf muscles for a chic and wondered if that had something to do with it too? I hate that feeling and hope that I never get it chonically because I couldn't handle that. Good luck on your research, thanks for the good info!

I voted CUTEST, your pup is so cute!!

none, other than smaller clothes and same ol same ol stuff of more energy and such. I think i still just have so much more weight to lose others don't see the almost 70 pounds I have lost already. Especially If I don't feel it or "see it", I guess I don't expect others to either. I will though. It will happen soon enough. If I have to start wearing a before and after sandwich sign then I will get people to notice! HA!

Wow, It is really sad that I can't think of one moment or story like that. My family has said stuff about my weightloss, but unfortunately they don't count, because the are family and love me. I know that should count, but to me it doesn't. Oh well, hopefully there will be some coming in the future!

Some of these have made me just sit here and cry! Here are some of my own: Starting early when I was in elementary school I begged my mom to buy me these $60 pair of pink shorts with pink crochet around the bottom, she did but I had to promise to mow the lawn all summer. I was wearing them all weekend and a girl I went to school with asked me why I didn't wear a sign that said wide load on my behind? Who does that! Next was Junior High and I was riding the bus home and an old friend of mine was making fun of me along with some mean girls, I asked her how she could make fun of me since we used to be great friends and her comment was that maybe if we make fun of you, you will do something about being so fat so no one has to make fun of you anymore. I was a misses size 7 in Jr High! In high school I was friends with a girl larger and taller than me, one of the biggest girls in the school, we went to the mall and some older boys yelled from the top floor down to us on the bottom floor, I don't remember exactly what was said but something along the lines of " you fat bitches need to go home!" The year after I graduated High school I was a size 14 and me and a bunch of friends went to see another friend in New Jersey. We went to the Jersey shore and rode the rides on the Boardwalk. I got in one ride and the rude ass attendant tried to close the bars from up over me over my chest and kept pushing trying to close it, but it was too tight, so he just lifted it backup and said get off real rudely, in front of all of my friends. They watched sadly as I walked down and I cried watching them ride the ride. THe skinny friends were so sweet getting off the ride and telling the guy they were going to kick his ars for being rude and giving me hugs of encouragement, but that was almost 10 years ago and I haven't been on a ride since...and I love them! I was so embarassed in front of my friends, it's still hard to think of. The final one on the top of my head was when I went to a beach house near Galveston with my friends family, who is still like an extended family to me. One of their cousins had a little boy who I had known since he was born and he was on the trip with us. I was sitting in a swinging chair on the beach behind our house and he asked me where my baby was? I told him I didn't have a baby, why would he think I did, then he asked me then why is your belly so big?? I about died. I was not the only fat person there, it killed me that he singled me out. I know they are kids, but I hate brats!! There are so many other stories that have happened to me and especially as a chubby child and teenager it was killer embarassment for any event being tha fattest one in the room at all times. I look back now and wish I could be the 165 pounds I was when I graduated. I just don't understand how people can be so cruel. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories!! This is a great thread!

fattening and sugary foods is what I am addicted to. Never had a problem with smoking even though I tried it. Never with drinking either, even though I drink on occasion. I am completely and totally addicted to Caffiene. I am sitting as we speak with a caffiene headache because I haven't had any for 2 days. If it were just the caffiene though I don't think it would be such a problem...it's the SWEET and Caffiene that is my problem. Like cokes and frappachinos. It is so hard for me to go without cokes, I tried to switch to sweet tea, no carbonation, but I ALWAYS slip and have a coke...My biggest addictions: PEANUT M&M's Reeses Peanut butter cups Cokes Frappachinos Anything deep fried with ranch dressing to dip it in double dip hot fudge sundae from braums I could live off these foods for the rest of my life without anything else being thrown in. I just wish that I could be addicted to exercise, that would be so much nicer. With these foods when I am doing good, I have to go cold turkey and not even get close to them. If I eat 1 I will eat 4 more. I remember 1 day at work I went to the vending machine 4 different times and bought Peanut M&M's, Once I start I can't stop. It has been days while I ween myself from these foods and I am still wanting something bad with every thought of food. I know the longer I go without the easier it is to quit these foods so hopefully it will get better in the coming days. Looking at the other post you wrote Kelly I am thinking they put something more addictive in the Peanut M&M's than the caffiene and sugar!!

Well, I did it, no fast food, no going out to eat, plenty of cravings and plenty of time yelling at myself that I didn't need to go out to eat or grab some candy on the way home from school. Saturday: I was so tight after the hurling on Friday that this day wasn't so hard. Breakfast: coffee drink: 180 calories Lunch: Sour cream and chive baked potato: 280 calories Dinner: BBQ chicken breast, rice mix, very small salad: no calories (since I had a horrible PB that I didn't know was coming. After only a few bites of chicken and a few bites of rice and 1 bite of salad I was full, I stopped and sat for 30 minutes while all of this tried to get down. I thought I was doing good until I had to cough from a scratchy throat. That was no fun cough. I pbed into my hands and ran to the bathroom. Let's just say I had some cleaning to do once I was done!! So gross!!) Snack: 100 calorie pack cookies: 100 calories Sunday: Still tight, so trying to be careful Breakfast: 100 calories pack of cookies: 100 calories (although I made m husband eggs with pico and cheese and toast with butter and apple butter, that was tough, I think I had a bite of his toast!) Lunch: 1/2 apple and 1/2 string cheese (I can't believe I made myself a healthy snack for lunch!!) Dinner: Venison chili. Dollup of sour cream and sprinkle of cheese. I probably got about 10 tiny bites down before full. Then had 1/4 cup of vanilla ice cream with Tablespoon of caramel sauce-bad, thank god it was mostly freezer burned so I didn't get much down. Snack: handfull of pecans-so bad, but oh so good After all of this at least I kept everything down today and no pains or anything. Best part I have lost 2 more pounds. I am only 7 pounds away from Onederland!! It has been so hard taking this one day at a time attitude. Trying not to diet, just not to eat everything in front of me and keeping myself outside of the restaurants so I don't eat the crazy-bad things there. I work 12 hours today, but brought lo cal snacks because days like these I tend to indulge. I think as long as I can get a workout in tonight once I'm home I will do fine today. We will see tomorrow!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!

Well, I did it, no fast food, no going out to eat, plenty of cravings and plenty of time yelling at myself that I didn't need to go out to eat or grab some candy on the way home from school. Saturday: I was so tight after the hurling on Friday that this day wasn't so hard. Breakfast: coffee drink: 180 calories Lunch: Sour cream and chive baked potato: 280 calories Dinner: BBQ chicken breast, rice mix, very small salad: no calories (since I had a horrible PB that I didn't know was coming. After only a few bites of chicken and a few bites of rice and 1 bite of salad I was full, I stopped and sat for 30 minutes while all of this tried to get down. I thought I was doing good until I had to cough from a scratchy throat. That was no fun cough. I pbed into my hands and ran to the bathroom. Let's just say I had some cleaning to do once I was done!! So gross!!) Snack: 100 calorie pack cookies: 100 calories Sunday: Still tight, so trying to be careful Breakfast: 100 calories pack of cookies: 100 calories (although I made m husband eggs with pico and cheese and toast with butter and apple butter, that was tough, I think I had a bite of his toast!) Lunch: 1/2 apple and 1/2 string cheese (I can't believe I made myself a healthy snack for lunch!!) Dinner: Venison chili. Dollup of sour cream and sprinkle of cheese. I probably got about 10 tiny bites down before full. Then had 1/4 cup of vanilla ice cream with Tablespoon of caramel sauce-bad, thank god it was mostly freezer burned so I didn't get much down. Snack: handfull of pecans-so bad, but oh so good After all of this at least I kept everything down today and no pains or anything. Best part I have lost 2 more pounds. I am only 7 pounds away from Onederland!! It has been so hard taking this one day at a time attitude. Trying not to diet, just not to eat everything in front of me and keeping myself outside of the restaurants so I don't eat the crazy-bad things there. I work 12 hours today, but brought lo cal snacks because days like these I tend to indulge. I think as long as I can get a workout in tonight once I'm home I will do fine today. We will see tomorrow!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!

Jessie and JAck that is exactly what I think it is. I get this feeling usually after some tight restriction. I think it is the band weighting down the esophagus and pulling the throat tight. I do the same you did Jessie when this happens, I drink warm liquids and stay on mushies for a few days! I hope it gets better!!

Awesome NSV, for a wedding I was going to I found these 4 1/2 inch stiletto heels made by Carlos Santana's new line of shoes which I ab fab love. Well I was fine walking around the house, but got out the door and almost died going down the stairs so I had to switch to 3 inchers. I have those 4 1/2 inchers waiting until I get small enough not to want to cut off my feet after 30 minutes. 209 pounds on the toes is not easy. I can't wait!! that is so awesome. I think it's a short girl thing loving heels. I am 5'4'' also and love my heels. For now the 4 1/2 inch stilletos will stay in the bedroom only!!

Like a crack whore on meltdown from coming off her high that was I yesterday. Here is what I ate: Breakfast: tall caramel frap, no whip: 210 calories Lunch: small cup chicken salad from Chick fil a: 270 calories snack: 100 calorie pack of cookies: 100 calories Dinner: roasted chicken thigh, no skin, handfull of salad with pico de gallo on it and TBLSPN of vinegar and olive oil dressing, 4 strips of low carb tortilla that I toasted for salad. Calories: none. I got sick sick, not just a pb, but real hurling after the chicken. I let it sit as long as possible as it kept trying to go down, but after 30 minutes I hit the bathroom and everything came back up. So much for trying to cook a nice meal. I hardly ever cook and especially not a low fat good for me meal. I made pico from scratch and dressing from scratch and chopped lettuce and made tortilla strips for the salad. Make sme mad, I actually worked on a meal and couldn't even get it all the way down. Oh well, a few hours later I had another: 100 calorie pack of cookies: 100 calories. Total: 680 calories I also did 30 minutes on the Gazelle! Yeah me!! 270 calories burned. I actually made it thru the day. I don't think it would have been possible without the 100 calorie Right bite keebler chocochip cookies. I almost picked up and went to the store for some reeses minatures, then almost talked my husband into dinner at the Roadhouse for chicken fried steak. I fought and fought with these thoughts all day long. ALL DAY LONG.. I have also been fighting them all morning. I know this sounds bad, but that god I threw up last night. I am tight tight this morning and know not to even try something bad. I am drinking some international coffee mix stuff for breakfast and will stop by Wendy's after work on the way to school and get a sour cream and chive Baked potato. I have some 100 calorie packs in case I get to starving during my Physics labs later and won't see the house again until 7:00 tonight. So if I can just make it through Dinner tonight with being this tight I will be fine for the day. So I am going to work on another 30-40 minutes on the gazelle today to keep my metabolism up!! I am going to my lab today!! I have to tell myself not to reschedule, because if I go to my lab I will have my mind on school and not food until 6:00 tonight. That will take up a big portion of my day. If I were to reschedule I will surely hit the Wal greens for candy and the Roadhouse for Chicken Fried Steak dinner. I WILL GO TO LAB TODAY!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!

Like a crack whore on meltdown from coming off her high that was I yesterday. Here is what I ate: Breakfast: tall caramel frap, no whip: 210 calories Lunch: small cup chicken salad from Chick fil a: 270 calories snack: 100 calorie pack of cookies: 100 calories Dinner: roasted chicken thigh, no skin, handfull of salad with pico de gallo on it and TBLSPN of vinegar and olive oil dressing, 4 strips of low carb tortilla that I toasted for salad. Calories: none. I got sick sick, not just a pb, but real hurling after the chicken. I let it sit as long as possible as it kept trying to go down, but after 30 minutes I hit the bathroom and everything came back up. So much for trying to cook a nice meal. I hardly ever cook and especially not a low fat good for me meal. I made pico from scratch and dressing from scratch and chopped lettuce and made tortilla strips for the salad. Make sme mad, I actually worked on a meal and couldn't even get it all the way down. Oh well, a few hours later I had another: 100 calorie pack of cookies: 100 calories. Total: 680 calories I also did 30 minutes on the Gazelle! Yeah me!! 270 calories burned. I actually made it thru the day. I don't think it would have been possible without the 100 calorie Right bite keebler chocochip cookies. I almost picked up and went to the store for some reeses minatures, then almost talked my husband into dinner at the Roadhouse for chicken fried steak. I fought and fought with these thoughts all day long. ALL DAY LONG.. I have also been fighting them all morning. I know this sounds bad, but that god I threw up last night. I am tight tight this morning and know not to even try something bad. I am drinking some international coffee mix stuff for breakfast and will stop by Wendy's after work on the way to school and get a sour cream and chive Baked potato. I have some 100 calorie packs in case I get to starving during my Physics labs later and won't see the house again until 7:00 tonight. So if I can just make it through Dinner tonight with being this tight I will be fine for the day. So I am going to work on another 30-40 minutes on the gazelle today to keep my metabolism up!! I am going to my lab today!! I have to tell myself not to reschedule, because if I go to my lab I will have my mind on school and not food until 6:00 tonight. That will take up a big portion of my day. If I were to reschedule I will surely hit the Wal greens for candy and the Roadhouse for Chicken Fried Steak dinner. I WILL GO TO LAB TODAY!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!

That is so my favorite!!, I could never eat jsut half.!! THat is not bad at all!

AWESOME!!! That is so good Nykee!! Keep up the great work!!

Sorry, I just found out we can have comments on these! HA! I know! It is especially awesome that I can only eat like 5 bites of all of these things, but still horrible the foods I fall back to when I am sooo not even trying kill me!! I wish I would learn to eat them in moderation like once every two weeks or something and then it wouldn't be such a problem. Thanks for the thought!

Sorry, michele, I didn't know these things had comments until JUST now. On a regular normal band day I can eat bread, It just has to be really slowly. Some days it comes back up. I do better with whole wheat. I haven't had any trouble with popcorn or nuts in small portions. Now I can't eat any of these things in the mornings. Mornings are strictly for liquids and mushies for me lately....some days are tighter than others though so you just have to guage it. Good luck with your band!

SO, Ok, I have not posted a new food journal in exactly 2 weeks, since my downfall I have gorged and snaked my way into oblivion, so I won't have to write out every calorie or meal I will just list some things that I ate over the past 2 weeks: Fried fish and tatar sauce from Luby's brownies cookies popcorn with butter reese's peanut butter cups peanut butter fudge bars from Mrs. Field's Peanut M&M's Peanut M&M's Fried Chicken sandwiches Chicken Nachos Chips and Hot sauce Taquitos with sour cream sopapillas Chicken Fried steak Fried Onion blossum lasagne peanut butter pie more Peanut M&M's chocolate cake with ice cream just to name a few. I feel better writing it all down and I decided after my tall caramel frappachino I had for breakfast: TODAY IS THE DAY. I know it is Friday, which is the day I am usually starting to be lax on my food through the weekend, but I need to force myself to start today instead of saying, MONDAY, I will start Monday. Then Monday gets here and it's just another fat eating day. Well, I drank half my frap and threw the rest away sickened by my actions over the past two weeks. I am always sickened AFTER my stomach is full and I am satiated. Why can't I be sickend before I go in a trance? Like last night sitting in front of the TV with my Luby's take out and take an hour to eat Fried Fish with tons of tartar sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing with gravy, a roll with butter and sweet tea to push it down. Of course I couldn't eat all of the portions but it was bad enough that I sat there an hour eating to get that damn fish down. From 8-9 pm after I got off work, stuffed myself while my band was open and as I got stuck after 5 bites had my husband get me the sweet tea it would take to slowly push it all down so I could shovel more in. God I am disgusting. I am worried because I am one of those people that can make myself throw up if I don't like the taste or smell of something. Like anything that would remotely be good for me. Any veggies and fruit I can't handle the consistancy of the food and I gag on it. Like green beans or oranges. ANY vegetable that is not salad covered in ranch dressing. But not fast food salad except for taco salad because it tastes really dry and is hard to chew for me. I am so freakin weird, but I have been this way since I was at least 2 years old. My mother told me that she would cook these fabulous meals and I would cry and barf if it was any veggie or non fried food. My father would drive and get me Churches chicken legs and corn on the cob!! At 2 years old. Now bear in mind my father and mother divorced when I was 2 and this was my "step-mother" who raised me whom I love dearly. So he was just feeding me to make me happy through the changes in my life. 2 years old it started for me. How do you break something 25 years in the making. My bio-mother who was 98 pounds when she got pregnant with me has eaten junk food her whole life and stayed thin on her 5 foot frame. It is just now catching up to her in her 50's the cupcakes and DP for breakfast and the popcorn for dinner. I'm sure the sugar thing runs genetically, I just got fat from it and she didn't until later in life. BUT TODAY IS THE DAY!! I have a plan. I am writing down everything I eat including calories, fat, carbs and proteins! Everything! I am exercising every day, Every Day!! I will not give up the entire day because I had a frap for breakfast. Frap: 210 calories, 2.5 fat grams, 43! Carbs, 4 grams of protein I have planned for my lunch to eat a chicken salad cup from chick fil a and I will do this!! I WILL DO THIS!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!! Luckily even though I have pigged out for 2 weeks straight, I have not gained any!! Thank god to this band o mine! I love my band and need to start working with it! TODAY IS THE DAY!!

SO, Ok, I have not posted a new food journal in exactly 2 weeks, since my downfall I have gorged and snaked my way into oblivion, so I won't have to write out every calorie or meal I will just list some things that I ate over the past 2 weeks: Fried fish and tatar sauce from Luby's brownies cookies popcorn with butter reese's peanut butter cups peanut butter fudge bars from Mrs. Field's Peanut M&M's Peanut M&M's Fried Chicken sandwiches Chicken Nachos Chips and Hot sauce Taquitos with sour cream sopapillas Chicken Fried steak Fried Onion blossum lasagne peanut butter pie more Peanut M&M's chocolate cake with ice cream just to name a few. I feel better writing it all down and I decided after my tall caramel frappachino I had for breakfast: TODAY IS THE DAY. I know it is Friday, which is the day I am usually starting to be lax on my food through the weekend, but I need to force myself to start today instead of saying, MONDAY, I will start Monday. Then Monday gets here and it's just another fat eating day. Well, I drank half my frap and threw the rest away sickened by my actions over the past two weeks. I am always sickened AFTER my stomach is full and I am satiated. Why can't I be sickend before I go in a trance? Like last night sitting in front of the TV with my Luby's take out and take an hour to eat Fried Fish with tons of tartar sauce, mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing with gravy, a roll with butter and sweet tea to push it down. Of course I couldn't eat all of the portions but it was bad enough that I sat there an hour eating to get that damn fish down. From 8-9 pm after I got off work, stuffed myself while my band was open and as I got stuck after 5 bites had my husband get me the sweet tea it would take to slowly push it all down so I could shovel more in. God I am disgusting. I am worried because I am one of those people that can make myself throw up if I don't like the taste or smell of something. Like anything that would remotely be good for me. Any veggies and fruit I can't handle the consistancy of the food and I gag on it. Like green beans or oranges. ANY vegetable that is not salad covered in ranch dressing. But not fast food salad except for taco salad because it tastes really dry and is hard to chew for me. I am so freakin weird, but I have been this way since I was at least 2 years old. My mother told me that she would cook these fabulous meals and I would cry and barf if it was any veggie or non fried food. My father would drive and get me Churches chicken legs and corn on the cob!! At 2 years old. Now bear in mind my father and mother divorced when I was 2 and this was my "step-mother" who raised me whom I love dearly. So he was just feeding me to make me happy through the changes in my life. 2 years old it started for me. How do you break something 25 years in the making. My bio-mother who was 98 pounds when she got pregnant with me has eaten junk food her whole life and stayed thin on her 5 foot frame. It is just now catching up to her in her 50's the cupcakes and DP for breakfast and the popcorn for dinner. I'm sure the sugar thing runs genetically, I just got fat from it and she didn't until later in life. BUT TODAY IS THE DAY!! I have a plan. I am writing down everything I eat including calories, fat, carbs and proteins! Everything! I am exercising every day, Every Day!! I will not give up the entire day because I had a frap for breakfast. Frap: 210 calories, 2.5 fat grams, 43! Carbs, 4 grams of protein I have planned for my lunch to eat a chicken salad cup from chick fil a and I will do this!! I WILL DO THIS!!! TODAY IS THE DAY!!! Luckily even though I have pigged out for 2 weeks straight, I have not gained any!! Thank god to this band o mine! I love my band and need to start working with it! TODAY IS THE DAY!!:mad: