DeLarla

Today I gave birth to another Slumber Daughter. That makes me Sebastian's Gramma. Only DeLarla, right?

P.S. Happy Halloween http://www.coorslight.com/iceswipe/

Shhh, they found me, abort all pipecleaning and drainage devices. All new commands will be conveyed through your shower head. CODE: OUY USTM EARW A HOWERS APC

Vera, I'm here to be a mommy... tell Dad to move to Vegas.

I've been waiting for Marty McSorley to propose to me for over a decade. Many years ago we heard he'd be at Hooter's, so we showed up with his framed poster. He sat with me and Chris for an hour. I acted like a stupid doofus and couldn't even get words out. He said, "Lisa, I'm just a regular guy." And with drool going down my chin I mumbled, "No, Marty, you're God." I couldn't even talk. Now I'm pals with his brother, who tells me we'll all hook up with Marty when they're in town, but I told him to keep Marty far away from me. I'm afraid of him (that's how bad my crush is.)

I'm not going to talk about this morning's eggrolls, this late-morning's sodas, this late-late-morning's feast on the remainer of yesterday's candy, this late-late-late morning's box of steamy Cookies, or the huge lunch buffet that a certain person has trotted past me with, I'm NOT, I'm NOT, I'm NOT! Get this: We have a new male paralegal with a weight problem who has lost 30 pounds on his own in the past 6 months due to medical problems. We've been taking lunch together (thank GOD a fruit, veggie & healthy food advocate) and today he thought he was telling me something I didn't know when he complained about Erin's torture smells first thing in the morning. I'm making my sign tonight.

NEW JERSEY! Too busy to chat but wanted to send a hug and a smile.

OH MY GOSH! Jack, that's the answer! I'm getting a blow horn. Better yet, one of those clown horns (don't want to get fired) and I'll do some reverse psychology. Every time Erin mentions food, I'll do a TOOT TOOT as praise. I'm almost at that breaking point to do it, too. But in all honesty, I'm sending a reminder home to make a very "office acceptable" sign for my door. I'll start keeping my door closed, and the entire firm will soon know what a rotten thing she's been doing. Something like this: PLEASE - NO FOOD BEYOND THIS DOOR I'm having a rough time with weight loss. Please don't tempt me with holiday treats, Snacks or sodas. Thank you.

Pen, you look great but why are you wearing my shirt? I haven't responded to any "Slow Loser" threads because I'm not a slow loser, I'm a non-loser, loser. Damn.

P.S. Yes, her hair is really dark! She needs some Vegas sun! I sure hope her dad brings her back to Vegas every time he's in town (he comes here for hockey business at least once a year.)

Your support just fills my heart to maximum capacity. I keep in contact with Chloe through pics, e-mails & phone calls. We're invited to Switzerland but won't be able to get away till next year. Vera, I'm so sorry for your loss and glad this helped. Yes, Auntie Vera, that's the teeny babe that fell in love with you girls at the first Vegas Bash. That's the beauty that painted a real oil painting with Aunt Penni's help (and massive gifts of paints n' canvas) when she was barely five years old. Auntie Michelle and all the rest of you know how special she is. And yes, that's her dreamy uncle, which is a huge freaky coincidence. My first date with Chris was to an LA King's game in a limo, which is the night I fell in love with my husband AND Marty McSorley (he was Wayne Gretzy's defenseman back then.) Chris is such a hockey pig that he said, "The only man you can ever leave me for is Marty McSorley.) I had Marty's autographed poster in my garage 10 years before I met Babs (Chloe's mom.) Mom isn't mentally capable of raising a child, so I became Chloe's co-parent till her real father (Marty's brother) was able to take full custody and sweep my baby off to Switzerland. Last week Marty was doing a TV interview sho I shot Chloe's dad an e-mail asking why he didn't mention the ring he was shopping for. He responded, "Marty's a fool for not marrying you" and I died on the spot. I'm dead now, actually. I'm being careful about saying too much or posting too many pics. It's not my place to share their business, but I know some of you love our little girl, so here's her with her baby brother (future stars for sure!)

For those of you that love a creative & fun site, check this out. What a trip! http://www.izpitera.ru/lj/tetka.swf

Hang in there. I felt horrible for 2 full weeks, but then I bounced back. I also went through the panic of "What did I do?" Don't be surprised if you start feeling better, then start feeling worse - it's all normal. The hardest part of recovery is behind you. Drink tons of water and keep walking.

Mmm, chewable vitamin & SF gum. I shoulda told her,"I'm sticking to Gum cause I don't like being fat."

I'm a few feet from the kitchen at work, and I just heard a bunch of commotion in there. Some marketing rep showed up with a stack of calendars, pens and tons of Halloween candy. Fine, I know it's there, I can avoid it. So I walk by and snatch a calendar then run away. Five minutes later, ERIN SKIPS into my office eating a candy bar, shoves one in front of me and says, "LOOK, THERE'S chocolate HERE." In shock, I had no response but a look on my face that said, "Is this really happening?" (Shhh, as I'm typing this she's back in the kitchen grabbing more, clunk, she dropped one on the floor - 5 second rule though. I watched her shove some in her pockets... maybe it's all gone now.)

Chloe's uncle, who I've been in love with since before Chloe was born.

For those of you who knew Miss Chloe, I thought I'd share an update to add a little joy to your day. She's doing remarkably well living in Switzerland. She loves having a little brother to play with, and she's enrolled in the best school money can buy, plus she's seeing a top child psychologist. I'm sure things will always be difficult for her to a certain extent considering her real mother isn't capable of raising her. But she's with her real Daddy and step mom, who couldn't love her more than a natural parent. She couldn't ask for a better life. But the best thing is that Chloe's already on the ice! She recently started her first skating lesson. I've always predicted amazing things for my little monkey... and with the resources and family support she has, there's no doubt in my mind that she'll succeed at anything and everything she touches. Here's our Puddin' in her skating skirt getting all grown up on me!

New girl, it's just as hard to remain compliant if you don't have good restriction, or if you've let your eating habits slide. The average weight loss for Bandsters is 1/2 of your excess weight. I needed to lose about 140 pounds, and I lost 60. Now I'm still overweight, but the weight won't come off unless I'm compliant. My weight loss was great in the beginning because I followed all the band rules. Every doctor has different rules. Mine said to eat three meals a day with NO snacking or eating between meals, and no drinking with meals. I stuck to that for 6 months, but little by little we become brave and willing to try things with our band. Don't do it because it's too easy to fall back on old habits. When you have good restriction, you can only eat small portions, however, some foods are easy to eat. The crap that contains little or no nutritional value seems to slide down really easy, and all those condensed calories add up and keep us fat. We aren't supposed to drink soda, but one can contains tons of sugar, which converts to fat. Getting and staying thin requires a very small caloric intake for most of us that have slow metabolisms (and keep getting slower as we age.) The more you lose, the better your body burns. Now I'm rambling... hope this helps.

DAY 19 no soda. I want a Coke. Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....

Aspertame and other artificial sweeteners are famous for causing headaches. I'm still off soda, but I'm getting weak!

You should call Ortiz with these questions. The fullness we feel now is different than before but you should not be able to eat anywhere near as much as you used to. Our new feeling of full shouldn't be painful (more like pressure, not pain.) Call Ortiz and see if it's time for another fill. Tell him your concerns and he'll figure out what you need.

Wait a second, I need a walk vest! I can't carry my handweights because I need my hands free for pooches. Kare, you're rockin. I need some before pics because the HOT one in your avatar already looks like a model. Motivate me!

That's really strange to me. I always have warning signs before I PB. Also, I was strongly warned never to eat and drive, so this has probably happened before to lots of people.

Voodoo and Sachi send you warmest kisses. Especially Voo. This is the 2nd sad news for me today. The words, "I'm sorry" just don't cut it.

I was promoting, BIG BELLIES ARE SEXY. Try it. Guys are always the sharpest tool in the shed, so they'll believe anything. I was passing out Slumber flyers to cute young guys. Lots would ask me, "Do hot girls come with the catalog?" So I told them to raise their standards and stay away from boney ones. First they laughed, but soon I had them believing that big round bellies are sexy. I showed them mine! They high-fived me and will probably start hitting on heavy girls. I'm going to change the world, one man at a time! Big Bellies unite!