We've all been victims of the Illuminate, the New World Order. It's a big hoax. They designed the Band to pull in billions from weak, morbidly obese desperados. The scientists trained by the Illuminate implant internal computer chips to digitally connect to Wall Street's DAI (Daily Average Index.) When the index is high, the chips flip a micro generator that starts the erosion process, causing us to run back to the Illuminate-driven band surgeons for an Illuminate-priced endoscopy followed by another expensive Illuminate-inspired removal surgery; since the DAI is up, they collect enormous sums in interest bearing band accounts. They're all in on it - fill centers launder the money back to the underground caverns, where the meetings are held by Oompa Loompas. We're feeding billions into their system, which temporarily shifts the World off it's axis from the sudden shift since everyone losing weight is displacing mass mass. The shift in the Earth's placement makes Venus an easier target, so during every third Tide we're closer to the cocaine.

Inamed is the Illuminate. Think about it, you never see any of them all in a room at the same time.

All us bandsters that lost weight actually shifted the Earth off its axis so we are the ones that caused all the recent hurricanes. It's a plot. We've been duped.

DeLarla!! *slap* You let Lisa go! She has things to get done.

:]

living in the fast lane

don't take time to think

of any other place or time

or why we think of words that rhyme

it's getting to the end of time

and no one's quick enough to stop

it keeps on going round and round

or back and forth or up and down

it never stops for anyone

unless the dead are having fun

below above or back in line

to do their thing just one more time

and lead another life of crime

or peace

in bed or not we need release

to solve the problems that we face

in living in this so strange place

we call it earth

it is a world

of misunderstanding boys and girls

that play but fight it's all the same

we'll always hear the song again

it's sad or happy

laugh or cry

not who or what

or even why

then you finally think you've got life down

when foolish dreams will come around

and break your train of thought

and once again

you're living life

in one fast lane

Bad batch of Crack DeLarla??? Put the pipe down~~~~

IM SOOO KIDDING

Dont blame the Oompha Loompas, they just do as they are told...they know not what they do......

Lisa, did that wacko office lady get you to drink a coke or eat more candy corn? I swear you sound like you're on a real sugar high girlfriend, LOL. I love it though, so because I have lost 60 lbs, it's my fault that where I live is currently under a hurricane threat, again? SSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!! Don't tell my neighbors, they'll impale me for sure if they find out it's all my fault.

Seriously, or not, I had to laugh out loud reading your post, which in my opinion is always a good thing. I love laughing and you provide a lot of laughter around here. Thanks!:-]

Cindy

Lisa - Honey - By any chance did you just get done reading "The Da Vinci Code"??

Just wondering..... :rolleyes

Ha Ha! You're hilarious!

I just needed a good laugh. It took you guys a long time to respond, but here I am at 7:00 p.m. cracking up, laughing my butt off.

Da Vinci Code... GOOD ONE!

Love, Crackwhore

Doo-bah-dee-dooh.

DeLarla...you are clearly the leader of this rag tag race of bandsters....I shall put on my foil hat and await your next transmission.

Over and out.

FOIL?? CRUD! No wonder I couldn't hear anything... (wadding up the saran wrap)

:|

You guys are crazy, just crazy!! So funny.

DeLarla - let Lisa out for a couple of minutes, please - Lisa, are you okay? What is going on with your band? Did you get to the dr. Please provide us with an update. Hope you are doing better and everything is fine. Celeste

Thanks for the laughs everyone... I think I just spit hot coffee out of my nose. Ouch!

FOIL?? CRUD! No wonder I couldn't hear anything... (wadding up the saran wrap)

Pam....clearly only you and me are receiving the "special" transmissions.....do you have the decoder for todays missive??

lol!

You know all those silly prizes inside kids' Cereal? You guessed it, ILLUMINATE! That's where you'll find the decoder.

All circuits are clear in Lidsville. Can you hear me, Major Tom? 99, out.