I have been where you. I have sabotaged every diet attempt I ever made. Here is where it really stands though, all of my fears about being banded was just me trying to give myself a way out. What if's and I cant's allowed me to stay in my comfort zone. I want to stay in my fat suit so no one will see me. I want to say in my fat suit so no one will hurt me. I want to stay in my fat suit because what others say about me is true; a fat girl deserves no better. However, here is the real deal, I'm killing myself. I'm abusing myself. I'm hurting me more than anyone else ever did. I just want to give myself a break and allow myself to be worthy. I've had my lifelong supply already of pizza, Pasta, mashed potatoes and big ole fat steaks! A little deprivation isn't going to kill me BUT IT MAY....JUST MAY...MAKE ME TRUELY HAPPY.
I was banded 10/5 and I am learning that I can and I will..it's amazing.