The replies are really good and spot on. There is one other thing I'd like you to consider and that is your want for your moms approval. See, no one can make you feel anything so if she triggers a reaction out of you then you need to do the work to change the reaction.
I have a very similar relationship with my mother. In our family dynamic I was the one that everyone dumped on. I was the one that was always asked to do all the favors even if others were in a position to do so and I wasn't. I feared disapproval and could not say no. One time when I was in a physically abusive relationship I called my mom in tears after getting beat up, and said that I didn't understand how anyone could be so cruel. Her reply, I kid you not was " Men like thin wives. You should lose some weight" .
It wasn't until I went to counseling that I realized that I needed to change. I needed to be the one who taught people how to treat me. I did not, nor will I, tell my mom that I had surgery. It is my business and I know she could not handle knowing because of who she is.
Believe me I know that it is a work in progress but setting the boundaries and changing the rules of interaction is so much healthier especially now since you are on a new journey JUST FOR YOU. you can have a talk with your mom, show her all the information in the world but the trash is on her side of the street and you can't reach far enough over to clean it up. She'll have to do that herself. In the meantime, set yourself up for success!
Bug hug to you!