Kime-lou

I think we all do this to an extent. I know I did - I would eat in private and sneak food. I knew what I was doing, but I was in denial about what the results would be.

WLS is not Cover Girl. Easy Breezy is not a definition that can be used when talking about WLS. In reading the comments posted on Fox News regaurding Gov. Christie's lapband surgery, I was disturbed to see that people still see WLS as the easy way out. What I would like to know is what part of major surgery is easy? While lapband surgery is not a horrible ordeal to face, it isn't all sugar plums and roses. I was sick after surgery, felt like crap. Then I had trouble taking in enough. Then I was starving hungry. Then when I started eating again I was terrified. As the first 50 lbs melted away I was thrilled with my decision to have lapband, once I got past the 199 mark, the next 10 lbs took 4 months! I am still very glad I choose this change and committed to it. Just because you have WLS doesn't mean your cravings, desires, wants disappear. We have to learn to manage these things. WLS success requires a huge committment to change your lifestyle. This pathway to health is worth it, but it is far from easy. May 22nd I will be 11 months post op and I have gone from 244 to 188. I have gone from wearing a tight 18W to a very comfy 14. I know longer wear the 1-2X shirts, I know easily wear a large. These things are awesome and make then changes I committed to well worth the struggle. Every day brings with it a new set of challenges, opticles, highs and lows, but it is worth it to finally feel "normal". I no longer walk into places and feel like people are looking at me due to my weight. I am no longer paranoid over it (well almost there). I love walking into stores and being able to find cute clothes. I walked past the Women's sizes the other day in Belk and saw a cute top- guess what all they had were to big for me . My husband hugs me and comments frequently how small I feel and how proud he is of me. So no matter how people view the surgery, no matter if it is hard or easy, I don't give a rats bootie- this is my life and I choose health. I choose to change. I am on this journey. I still have 45 lbs left to loose. I won't make it to goal in a year. But by golly I will make it. One day, I will see the blessed 140's. I am not sure how much more changing and rearranging I will have to do to my life style, but I am committed and I will do what I must to finally acheive my dreams!

Cheryl what my doc said when I ask about the cup vs half cup was- one cup of food chewed up is on average a half cup. Therefore, this is why most all docs say eat a cup of food.

I appreciate all your post. Actually alot of people have viewed and liked it. Who cares what they think anyway. You are doing most amazing, to heck with them if they have a problem with it. Preparing meals a head has really changed things for me. It really is helping keep me on track, I am amazed. Why the heck didn't I try this before. Thanks for all the advice and for the blogs I take bits and pieces and apply it to me and I am making my success plan.

Of course, ask! I had the same issue. I called the doctor's office. I was told that I could get a cup of plain yogurt (not greek and not thick and creamy), and thin it down with milk or a protein shake and drink that. It did help get me through till I could start the mushy phase.

The last week I have been BUSY!!! I spent most of last week in classes to learn about the new software system we are switching over to this summer. This was a very technical class, that left my brain in mush mode by night. In an effort not to back track on my success I opted to take a page from Carolina Girls book. I made my little cups of chicken salad (chicken, apples, grapes and pecan) were fixed in my fridge. I also had more apples and grapes in there, along with the staple of weight watchers cheese sticks. Each morning I would pack my little bag and take it with me to class. Taking my lunch allowed me to stay in during lunch and play with the training database more and talk to the teacher to get more info. The great thing I found by doing this is it works!! I stuck to my portion size and found that I didn't get hungry, I never felt bloted or bad. So this week rather than chicken salad I make homemade fresh tuna salad for my lunches. Again this is great and keeps me from just grabing anything for lunch. So I have to say thanks to Carolina Girl for putting out there what works for her. Unlike, CG, I can't do carbless. As she said that is her choice, but I have always been a carb aholic so I know long term carbless wouldn't work for me. So in an effort to do better, I have opted to go carbless for one meal a day. On my fidge is a list, each day with what I will do for breakfast and what I will cook for dinner. This way I can plan, get fresh groceries, and make sure one carbless meal gets in a day. My fresh veggies and fruit also don't spoil this way. In my fridge I have the shelf that is at my eye level full of my fruits and veggies and healthy options- this helps me make good choices. Now if I can manage to kick it to the next level and get back into a regular work out routine rather than the sporatic one I have been one of late. A bit of advice for newbies and oldies.... read what works for others, pull some of it and try it, see what works for you. We are all different, but by putting what works for us out there we might help others so talk, read, learn!!

I am there with you. I also need to remember to be thankful for what I've done. Those first 50 melted off, the last 10 were a fight and I have a feeling the next 10 will nearly kill me.

Yep, Jim- I haven't gained, but boy has the loss slowed. It does get so frustrating. Still figuring out where I go from here. Maybe I set my goal to lofty- my goal would put be barely in over weight zone- I just feel like if I got into the size the BMI chart said I should be in I would look bad. Who know where I go from here.

You are doing great to start this now. I feel sure it will help your success in the post op phase.

I have a serious problem with wanting instant gradification. I think I've always been this way. My mom says patience was never my strong suit. I guess this is way gaining weight was so easy for me. You eat, it taste good, instant grad. Where the calories don't build up to pounds quickly so I don't see the negive consequence so fast. I went into this surgery knowing that the loss would not be instant, however I did believe I would have lost more by this point (only 55 lbs in 10 months). I did well the first little bit, but then it has taken me 4 months to lose 10 lbs. I worry that I've lost all I will lose, a co-worker has told me over and over that with lapband you only lose 50 to 60 % of your excess body weight, and I am right there. With exercise I also find it hard to keep on schedule. Due to my desire for instant gradification I find it difficult to say walk, do the elliptical, lift weights for x length of time because I see no result afterwards. Now, I love cutting my grass (I push mow my .28 acre), working in my flowers, even cleaning my kitchen and house because when I am done I can see a difference- instant grad. I know I need a regular exerecise plan, but I am having a really hard time sticking to one. I can go a month maybe two then I slack off due to other obligations that get in the way. Once I don't do it one day it makes it hard to get back at it. The hubs fusses at me for this, but he does the same thing. At one point we were walking the dogs on the trail behind the house every night, but long hours at work rain, we don't do that now. My eating I think I am doing well with. I am making good choices, eating small portions, and drinking water. I know that limiting my carbs more than I have already done may help me get it down even more, but I worry I wouldn't be able to keep that up long term. I am a meat and potatos girl, always have been. I think basically I need to suck it up, put on my big girl panties, stop wining and do something!!! I find it easier to cut carbs than I think, I had a much easier time letting go of soda than I thought I would. The exercise may still be an issue, but maybe I will be more apt to do it if I get a gym membership- I don't like to waste money. I am in contemplative mode right now, the pity party is over, I am planning now to get over this hump. I want to kick my want power into high geer!! Please any one who want to kick me in the seat of the pants, bring it on. I want to move forward!

I love doing manual labor. I grew up on a farm and loved working outside. Now I live in the city and love working in my yard. I find getting exercise doing manual labor much more rewarding than excercise in general. I need some sort of postive outcome that I can see right now, I guess that is the impatience in me : )

It's a week before my TOM, so maybe that is why I am feeling this way, but ugghhh! I got up this morning like any other, weighed after potting, 190.8! Geez, how, I am following the rules. I want my 189 back or lower!! Moving on with the morning routine, I put my clothes on and go to fix my hair. I had on a sleeveless top (I had a shirt to go over top that I would put on before leaving), as I am doing my hair. I lift my arms up to begin curling- OMG!!!!! My arms, OMG- they are huge, that is what a thigh should look like not my arm and the hubs says my arms are smaller- OMG!!! How big were they? Then my eye drop down- I fail to see any of the postives that have come with losing 50+- I only see the remaining fat rolls! I see how my tummy still pouches, my back fat- UGH- I am a huge fat hippo!! I feel like having surgery did nothing for me- ok I realize that isn't true, but I am in full pitty party mode. I have only lost 54 lbs in 10 months- I am a failure - others have lost so much more. Why didn't I have bypass, then maybe I would be smaller now. I am sick of getting stuck at meals! My pitty party was in full swing. I wasn't just thinking all this the hubs was sleepily listening. Finally, when I turned and said if I am this freaking huge now, just how big was I really before I lost the weight. At that point the hubs just said I love you and you are beautiful to me and turn and walked out!! He knew there was no talking to me at that point, I was firmly in the mode. As most men can relate, when a woman is in this mode there is nothing a man can say and not get in trouble for, so it is best to be quiet- my husband know this all to well. Now a few hours later I am at work, still down, but not total pity party. I am just in the mode of ok, this sucks I want to lose more, I am tired of this being so slow, so what do I do now. As much as I do not want to add a more rigourous exercise routine to my plan, I think that is the next step I need to do. Also, trimming carbs even more- I dont' like this, but if it helps and get me to where I want/need to be then I gotta get with it. So tonight after work- I do have the push mow the lawn (I actually do enjoy this- gives me time to think while doing something productive that has a postive result I can see when I am done). I am also going to have a talk with the hubs, I am going to need support from him to kick it into the next level. He has always been supportive and loving and I know he will be this time to. So how many of you have pity party days, where you still feel like a beached whale?

I think most of us were scared if not nervous going into this- all the what if's sworrling around our head. I am sure we thought about possible complications, what if it doesn't work, fear of the pain, ect. However, sometimes fear is healthy. Like during my post op I was scared to do anything the doctor didn't okay, I know I bugged him and the NUT calling and asking what can I have - is this okay, is that okay. Then every little ache and pain I was scared I'd hurt my band. Now I am a little less worried about the things from the begining. I do still have a little fear of will I be able to lose all the weight I want to. I've lost half of it so I guess it was successful, but I still have about 45 lbs I want to get rid of. My fear now is foods!! In some cases it's a good thing. I am an NC Girl and I swear Krispy Creme runs in my veins (heck where else is there a Krispy Creme Marathon). Due to the texture of a donut I am scared to taint my beloved friend. I fear that if I take a bite and swollow the pain will begin, then the foaming at the mouth, flowed by the delightful reverse of the donut up my eshogus. Some foods though now have more power because I know they will go down. I can not tell you how often I pass the McDonalds right by my office and want to get a ice cream cone. But, I have been able to pass it up. Also, cookies- they slllliiiiiddddeeee on down. Last weekend when I make 3 batches of cookies for my hubs office party, I managed to keep my intake to just one (my fav- Carmel Pecan Crunch)- the other were shipped off to my hubby's office and I told him not to bring the box back until the cookies were gone!! Then there is the fear of eating to much/eating to little. Having been a big girl most of my life I had never had anyone tell me I wasn't eating enough. A couple of months ago when I went to a doctors appointment and complained that I wasn't losing weight hardly at all anymore. My doc looked over my food chart and exercise tracker and told me I wasn't eating enough. I took a double take for sure. So I have a hard time balancing that line of too few calories to to many calories. Fears bounce around all the time, some times it's good to give in to it (like not eating the donut out of fear) and sometime it's better to say a little prayer and plow through it (like having the surgery to begin with).

Is what you did good- No. Is it unforgiviable- Nope. Yes, you boobed up, but you can get back on track. I boobed up this weekend, ate out twice and at a cookie when I baked for my hubs office - apparantly this wasn't good, my weight is up a pound. We can never truly appreciate success unless we have to fight for it. So now put on your big girl panties realize you messed up and start a fresh doing what you are suppose to. Since those ice creams are a trigger, try not to buy them any more, or if you have to take them out of the box, place them in a brown paper bad in the freezer- that way you won't be tempted every time you open the freezer.

Even though we all know we should, many of us fail to listen to what our docs and NUTs have to say; some in major ways, some in small. Now in the major ways I always listen to my doctor, I am to afraid not to. I do not want complications. But, in small ways, I fail at times. For instance, in March I went to see my doc for my 9 month check up. We discussed how I was doing- good, felt good, not getting hungry, eating 3 meals a day. I track calories in and I track by my fitbit how many calories I use- I showed the doc. During all this I was complaining that my weight loss seems to have slowed almost to a stop. After reviewing my intake and calorie burn (1200-1300 calories - 2100 to 2200 calories out), the PA said I wasn't eating enough. Now I have been over weight since I was 5 years old. Never have I been told I wasn't eating enough. I was terrified that this would cause me to regain some of what I'd lost, but I tried for a few days, a couple more pounds came off. Then I was headed out on vacation. The hubs and I went to Florida for a week and took in Disney and Sea World. During this time I was also on my monthly cycle. My band was really tight and I had a really hard time eating, even yogurt was a struggle in the morning. I was burning close to 3000 calories a day due to all the walking. When I return my weight was up 4 lbs - WTH, I hardly ate? I figured some was salt intake and apparently that was true. In a week of being back on schedule I was back down to pretrip weight. This week since being really back to normal I have increase my protein intake and started eating snacks as my doctor recommended. All week I have stayed at the 190 weight. Each day I have eaten a snack of 1 weight watchers cheese stick and about 12 grapes (if I didn't want grapes I ate half of an apple). I found this was a tasty snack and I never got hungry, always kept a satisfied feeling. This morning my weight dropped to 189.8!! Ok, this is big to me. Okay TMI I know, but I haven't gone number 2 in 3 days. So being that I haven't really pottied well and my weight went down make me feel really good. Maybe I should listen and heed instead of just hearing every little tid bit the doc says!!

I now what you mean CG- I couldn't do it with the hubs either.

I think most of us have had a love hate relationship with something- our cell phone, our job, heck even our spouse. It is also easy to have a love hate relationship with the band. I do love mine, don't get me wrong, but some times that little plastic makes my life hell. For instand on my vacay, I ended up being stuck most of the trip, I couldn't eat much of anything. Sometimes eating slow is a problem especially when you are busy or in meeting- a quick bite gets you stuck quick. However, because of my band I have learned so much. I am eating better foods. Yesterday when I hit WallyWorld for grocery day I noticed as I was placing my groceries on the checkout how my buying has changed. I buy very little from the interior of the store- the highly processed, sodium rich, high cal foods. Most of what is in my cart is water, water packs, yogurt, milk fresh meats, frozen and fresh veggies. I like this change. Due to the change of what I am eating I feel better, I breath better, I move better, basically I am better. So my relationship with my band is way more love than hate. It is so easy to get frustrated on this journey and blame our band and say we hate it, or it's not working, but before we say that we need to ask ourself are we working it. You car can't get you any where unless you drive it, you band won't get you to goal unless you work it. Yes, you can have bump ups and your car might even break down - but you must fix it and keep on truckin. Everything including our band journey is a process. The band plays it's role, we must play ours, our doctor has theirs, and our nutrtionist has theirs. All the players must do their part or the journey gets off course. Are you doing your part?

You are very right AJ. I felt the same why when I went into this. I knew if I cut all the things I loved I would never be able to stick to it long term. So I cut back on everything instead of cutting out. However, after 4 months stuck in the 190's I may need to do some more cutting.

Ok, stress again......... So this is a question I frequently want to ask people, when they want to be encouraging, but they really don't have a clue. As I have said on this site before, I have had 3 miscarriages. My friends and family are aware of this also. Everyone says, oh it's already, you will have one, don't worry it'll happen when the times right, I just know you will have a little one next time. I always want to flip them off and say just how the h@## do you know, because I sure as heck don't? I realize people mean well, but I have come to believe we are a "know it all" society. When we try and encourage others insert I "know" xyz will happen, when sometimes we just don't. I have come to the point, where I want to be realistic. There are somethings I just don't have answers to and that isn't always a bad thing. People tell me about my WLS to just stop stressing about my weight being stuck in the 190's for 4 months. Well, easier said that done! Some say oh, just keep doing what you are doing it will come down. Some well exercise more it will come off. Some say cut the carbs and you will loose it. Well bottom line the ONLY truth I know is- if I eat less calories than I burn I will loose. However, there is a point when you eat two few calories and you body refuses to release the fat it already has- however there is A LOT of contraversery around this and how long it takes. I get to the point where I worry I am stuck forever, will I lose anymore. Am I a failure? The only person that can make me a failure is me because I define failure. Also, and I am saying this to me- we need to be careful when talking with others to encourage realistically. If we feel for them in their situation whatever it may be say that you don't need to add to it- sometimes just knowing someone care is enough. I don't know if anyone on this site I meet will be successful- I don't live with them or know their history. There are people here that have done so amazing and I wish I could be more like them (Carolina Girl and Missy here is your shout out), but I am me. My body is different, I lead a different life, I eat diffrently (we all have things we like and don't like) so I can't be like them. The only things I can say is what I know- we all have the power to be successful and we all have the power to fail- we must decide which one it will be. People get offended if we are harsh, poor Carolina Girl gets picked on to much about this, but in my book sometimes we need the honesty to make us look at ourselves. You, me, anyone will not succeed in this if we continue living and doing as we did before. So why the heck do you expect anyone to say oh, it's okay to eat an entire pizza at one time- WTH? NO it's not ok. If you doctor tells you do xyz and you abc then no you DID NOT do right. Wake up folks be honest, be realistic, and if it calls for it be harsh then do it- you might actually help someone. While it pissed me off sometime ago when someone said oh there are worse things than never having kids. After I got over being pissed I realized it was true. Just because I don't have a child born to me doesn't mean I can't lead a full and amazing life. Now I appreciate that person for helping me come to terms with my reality even though it hurt at the time.

If you are easily offended stop reading now- here come some tough love! I am a human, a woman, a wife, a mom to 4 wonderful fur babies, a daughter, sister, friend, emplyee, co-worker and many many more things. I have a big life, but that doesn't mean I need to be big. I am the first person to tell you I am NOT perfect, I have my vices, and life gets the best of me at times. I use to think I was active - I was kidding myself. I came home from work and stayed there- not moving any more than I had to. I was lazy, I am still lazy, but I move now in spite of it. If you are like me then I am sorry you gotta get your fat tusey up and move. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same result. Soooo, if you want to and expect to loose weight, guess what you have got to CHANGE!!!! If you sit on your big butt and do nothing you will NOT loose weight!! If you continue to eat unhealthy things and large portions you WILL NOT loose weight!!!! Sorry, but it is the truth!!! I am speaking to myself as much as I am others. I push myself to get up and do things. For instance, yesterday I working in my yard for a bit - planted a few flowers after work. Then made a healthy dinner (tacos - mine with out the shell). After dinner I went to a friends house and treated their yard for fire ants (they are blind and can't see the little buggers). I came home played with the dogs, got a shower, got stuff ready for today, cleaned the kitchen. You know what after all that I felt good and then slept good. You have to push yourself sometimes to move. If you don't want to exercise find something you do enjoy that gets you moving and DO IT!!! I love gardening. Even though I live in the city, I put in a 20 x 3 row garden in my yard and am planing some yummy veggies (cumcumbers, peppers, tomatos, squash). I plant flowers in my front yard and am working on relandscaping that. I love working with my hands so I am finding ways to do that but that make my body active while doing it. I love walking the dogs so I do that instead of WALKING to exercise. It's all in how you define it. As far as eating goes, we all got fat by eating things we don't need and to much at a time. To start with I thought if I just cut portions I would be fine - WRONG. I have since learned a lot of things I ate were not as healthy as I once believed. I read labels now. Do I do with out things - some, but not many- Am I unhappy about that - NO. For instance I LOVE alfredo yum oh. Alfredo sauce at a resturant and store bought is really not good for you- full of fat and calories. Sooo, I experimented and created my own healthy alfredo sauce that the hubs and I actually like better. I've also experimented with other recipes and veggies to make them healthier. How do you do this - read a labels, experiment. I enjoy cooking so I get up and move around my kitchen and experiment. I have lots of friends and family who don't mind being gunie pigs. I cook and dance around my kitchen to some good 'ole country- guess what I am burning calories while doing this . Yeah, I have only lost 55 lbs in 9.5 months- but hey I have lost half of my excess body weight. I am in a size 14- so that says something. Plus I am learning more everyday about what leading a healthy life style means and making small changes all a long. While it is FRUSTRATING, SUCKY, CRAPPY, to loose slowing after having surgery, I am loosing. Plus, like others have said this is not a race- this is a life long journey. I will get to a healthy weight it won't be tomorrow, but I just as well enjoy the journey and learn as much as I can so when I get there I can stay there!! Sooooo, CHANGE already you are worth it. If you are a person who can't make a lot of changes at once, make little ones along the way- they will add up.

Just like the temps in NC today my temper is warm. Last week I went on a wonderful 5 day vacation with the hubs. We were in Orlando and took in Disney and SeaWorld. It was great and boy did I move it, move it!! My step counts for the days were redic- 22500 the first day and the following days from 15000 to 20000. I only partook on one alcholic drink. Due to band tightness I wasn't able to eat very much. However, when I did eat it wasn't the healthest due to it being away from home. I tried to make good choices, but you just never know what they put in things. I spluged and had ice cream twice - not huge amounts - one cup. The icecream and one crepe was the ONLY desert like things I had while there. When we returned and I weight on the 6th I was up 4 lbs from the 30th when we left. I thought, okay, salt in take was likely higher than normal, plus I was on my TOM. I figured once my monthly vistor checked out and I got back to flushing my system the weight would drop. Well....... Sunday I was down a half lb, Monday down and half more. I have now been at 192.5 for two days. Before leaving I was 190. I was so looking forward to the 180's. I have been in the 190's since Dec and I am soooo sick of it. Since getting back I have remained moving. I have been trying to keep my steps around 8000-12000 a day. I am drinking my water again my TOM is done. So why are those pesky pounds sticking around. I am frustrated. I have been in the same 10 lb range for 4 months- enough already!!!! Frankly, I am worried because what if my body won't let go of more weight? I am sticking to the plan, moving, talking to my doc and my weight is not going down any more. My doc says I have done great and not to worry so much, I should just stay the course and I will be fine. I so want to hit the 140's, my body just doesn't apparently. Have any of you experience long plateaus or extreme slow down in weight loss? Please your expereices are welcome!!!!!!!!

If you are able to eat in the morning special K has some breakfast sandwiches are are tasty. Also, Special K has high protein cereal (I love it). I also, like a whole grain waffle toasted with a smear of peanut butter and a half of a banana. Apples and PB are good for snack and breakfast.

This WLS thing is a true adventure. Just like any adventure, you have times where it is awesome and you feel amazing, then there are time when you just wish you could turn around to the comfort of home, and then there are times when you are scared pooh less. 9 months post op and I can say it has been a roller coaster. The first few months was the big exciting hill, where the weight is coming off and I am screaming hell yeah. Now I am in the boring slow moving time that makes me wonder if this ride will get better. With being a woman in childbearing years I still have the wonderful monthly cycle to throw some excitement in- water retention, cravings, ect. I am currently greatly stressed at work, which doesn't really help, apparently my band doesn't like stress- it tenses up. Last week while on vacation, eating each bite was ad adventure in it's self. One morning I wouldn't be able to get anything down but Vitamin Water Zero. Then Lunch would do great, but dinner wouldn't budge. Next day breakfast wondeful, lunch no go, dinner no go. Even though I was chewing well and chosing things that shouldn't have been an issue (baked fish- really should go down). I was also burning between 2400 and 3000 calories a day due to walking close to 8-10 miles daily (Gotta love Disney). Yet, my weight is up 4 lbs when I returned. The last two days my weight has dropped a half pound a day. Who knows what it will be tomorrow. WLS really does appear to be an adventure that you must do what the tour guide says ( the doc and NUT) and hold on for dear life. We must look forward to those days when we are feeling the sun on our face and screaming hell yeah with our hands in the air and the days when we are in dark cave and creeping slowly remember that there must be light coming. Heres to our health adventure!!

Good for you!! Start making healthy tasty stuff for your drivers. You will help your health and theirs. That is what I do at family pot lucks now. Also, drip hints of what you like now they will get it in time. My staff use to bring me M&M's all the time, now I get fruit or black coffee. When some ask why I changed- I said new taste or I'm getting older gotta watch things better. Great job- keep up the good work.

Yes, Dylan Disney was great, SeaWorld was AWESOME!! We walked ALOT, but it was good. Today I went for a nice long walk because my body was craving the movement, I was itchy to walk- how odd It was my first time there, the hubs went when he was a kid. I didn't always eat the right stuff, but at times I was just looking for something I could get down. However, I did not over indulge in at anything. I did have two alcoholic drinks (pinacolave), but that was it. I have tried to drink a lot today to flush my system and I haven't been able to eat much. I went to one restaurant and the waiter said what I order would be fine it I wasn't to hungry when it came I promptly told him he lied. The hubs and I ended up sharing it. I guess he thought since I am still chunky I could eat a lot.