Jennifur

night all pamela - i didn't take it that way, infact, i only blam myself for being a fat ass... but I love my new head dr and I am slowly getting stronger... PMS.. yup... that is me... seems that I feel bloated a full week before tom actually arives. I hate that, I'm use to 2 days before. anyway... i'm going to bed.

Pamela I agree, I was not abused, my parents fighting was what it was but, what has come about since being banded is that all the kids teasing me about my weight when I was in 1st grade was the beginning, then i gained and gained and by 8th grade they just picked on me for nothing... I even changed schools so I didn't' have to go to high school with those same kids, I just covered it up and just told my mother about all this in May when I had a breakdown. I use to use sex as feeling good about myself because someone wanted me... this is what I have been working through over the last month, and it it changing me. and I think that is part of my problem right now, and holidays, and so cold i don't want to leave. It is hard work attacking issues and this one is a tough one for me Terry - I think reading that book is helping me through this phase. THANK YOU Judy - I've noticed how quiet too and was wondering the same thing

OMG Kat, 38lbs in a year, that is great.. If I could lose that in a year I would be at my goal - so there is hope I think I am at the next head game stage. I'm kind of stuck, still in a size 16, not loosing not going to the gym, and then I think... I should be happy, I am right where my Dr. told me I would be at a 50% loss.... and I told him I would be ok with that... but guess what... I AM NOT HAPPY WITH IT. I am going to get my shit together one way or another and start and end December with a bang. hugs all off to bring my mom to the airport

morning gals not that it makes it any easier, but Kat, I think you are right. Thanksgiving - New Year is eating season and we can't eat...I am down 2lbs of the 5 I gained - I guess that is a plus you gals are great - I couldn't sleep, went to bed at 2, and up and showered. I can't keep my eyes open

I'm with you Ladies. My head is in a bad place. i think part of it is just everything, but I am really depressed that I cannot afford to live on my own and my mom is buying my kids xmas presents. I am thankful that she is so good to me and helping me, but it is still depressing - and since I'm so swollen from being sick I am eating crap because it goes down. Today I was starving so had an omlet, 1 pc of sausage, and 1/2 pc of toast. Problem... I found I can eat certain breads... which is bad, but good because I have something with substance - sometimes lately I feel like i'm going to pass out, and very bloated and have radiating pains, I'm afraid it is my gall bladder. I am with you terry - I love my band, just in a shitty place... so when you gals figure out how to get out of it... share the secret... OK?

Thanks Kat - I was thinking about doing the same thing but just had that thought and wanted to throw it out there. 11 that is way to cold for me. I seem to be freezing all the time these days and I don't really like it but at least I can fit in some sweatshirts that I couldn't get over my head when my mom got them for me, and even layer. off to shower and get on my adventure, maybe take a nap at some point

Morning gals so. back to protein shakes and try to get my swelling down today. going to find my mp3 player so I can go to the gym and walk on the treadmill. I have just been doing weights because I need music to walk. I have set myself a goal, I want to run...I have always wanted to bu never felt like I could. I want to do the run for women that is in our area in the spring, May or June. I don't care if I come in last but I want to do it. Anyway, I'm beat. Did I tell you all about Thanksgiving and a comment made by my dd? Well, I asked her to keep an eye on her brother so I could relax and visit with the adults and she said "but mom, you get to visit with adults every night at work"....WELL.... I said to her OK you think work is a social hour... you are coming with me Sunday and going to work your ass off.... I was amazed at how great she did, but we were super busy and she worked her butt off, and not time for fun and games. I wish she came Sat night when we were all yelling at each other because one woman would rather argue than just do what she needs to. It is loads of fun. So I taught her a lesson - she is willing to go back to earn some cash but... not anytime soon. LOL and I gave her $10 which made her happy. She does now understand why I like to come home to a clean house, or at least the way it was when I left. I have been making myself crazy trying to think of the perfect secret santa gift. I think I got it, so Mine should be going out by the end of the week or the 1st of december anyway. Did we decide to keep it a real secret who the package comes from?

night gals

Hi guys just wanted to apologize if anyone got an email or a myspace post from me. I don't know if my computer sent it out, but my anti virus got it, but my dd's friend sent me a link with a virus and it got cleaned on my puter, but dd's did not get caught so she is sending it to everyone, these freaking kids open anything they get... my dd is without her myspace for a month because of this. but... .if my puter did send it... i'm sorry

Morning gals just poppin in to say hello. I went out to see my old boss in his band, they played great, they are all older but played a mix of stuff, some bon jovi to van morrison. Since my stress throwing up on Thanksgiving, I think I swelled my band so much that I cant eat. I coulgn't even eat my scrambled eggs we got at an all night diner. i'll check back in later, have a great day day

hi gals just getting in from work ... going on 4 hrs sleep since Thanksgiving am at 8 when I woke up... needless to say, I'm about to fall over. my new furniture came tonight when I was at work. OMG I love it even more than I thought, I'll have to take pics. I love it and my crazy sofa sleeper/loveseat I've had in my office for years is now out in the front room and it works so nice with the new stuff. Maybe I'll take pics Sunday when I finish getting my decorations up. Mom bought me a new tree today so I have it up and it is absolutely beautiful, $166 regular price at Walmart and is perfect and the nicest one I've seen and we have been looking everywhere. well, wonder where I got my bad spending habits from and why the pay I get now is such a culture shock. I try to control her because I've learned a lot the last year, but it makes her happy so I'll take my new furniture and thank her 1000 times night.. ttyl

TracyK- well, first of all, at dinner I ate a pc of roast beef and maybe 1/2 cup mashed potatoes and a couple bites of corn. it was the deserts that I still didn't eat much of but felt horribly guilty. - but still to put thing in perspective, I don't need a fill... I was stuffed on what little I ate. StolieO is Orange Vodka... mixed with Rasp Ice Crystal Light...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm LOL... and my neighbor's hubby was filling our glasses as we were finishing them up... they are right off the boat polish and he speaks very broken english... the nicest people going...but they can drink. LOL

Morning gals well, yesterday turned out nice, quiet day, cleaned, cooked, drank with the polish neighbors. We drank an entire bottle of stolieO got home at midnight. Just before I left my neighbors, her daughter and mine were telling me how scared they were because the neighbor who hates me (remember her) well the other evil nieghbor who is the root of all this evil, tried to open the x friends "third eye" and instead claims to have opene the daughter (my dd's friend) "third eye". Ok keep your evil black shit to yourself. DD's friend told them that she hears spirts now and that "sarah & emily" are over here at my house. Now the other girl is so freaked out and scared out of her mind. They have been saying bad spirts at their house for about6 months but now they are trying to push it over here. I DON"T THINK SO! My door is not open to darkness and evil and that is how the devil wins. but anyhoo.... I draw the line here. I don't want my daughter in that. I was so furious at midnight that I was throwing up, which was not pretty, but I got the full effect of stress. Anyway, after an 1 1/2 hr sleep I got up in the freezing cold (27degrees) and stood outside at walmart to get a comuter, a big tv for my neighbor (she came with me) and I got a new tree and some other stuff, got home at 7:30 and went to bed. so I'm just getting in. dd & ds are now done. yipee. i'm going to drink coffee... have to work at 1

Happy thanksgiving gals I am having a standing rib roast today because I can't eat turkey. Going to make my brownies. hope you all have a good day

Morning gals I am in a horrible funk. gained a few this week, hate holidays, can't be with the people I want to be with. Last night decided to go to a neighbors for dinner tomorrow, so i'm going to the store, have to make a chocolate desert and don't know what to make terry - I use to make sausage stuffing get a bag of seasoned breadcrumbs/stuffing mix and follow those directions saute onion & celery in the butter (if that is not on the directions) cook tube breakfast sausage so you can crumble it up. mix it all together and it is really good Pamela I am the same way with music, listen to everything except classical. right now in my major funk Nora Jones is what is in my car. I have about 30 songs downloaded of hers and my sister got me her newest cd a couple of months ago. I love Fergie too, Garth and Nickleback... and when I'm in a great mood, I love BuckCherry - Crazy Bitch, puddle of mud, and the list goes on and on, depending on the day i'm going back to my pitty party I'm having for myself ttfn

Thank you Jennifer.

Hi gals Kat - I am so glad to come home and see a post from you, I'm glad you are recovering. HUGS & KISSES I run around yelling that at work all the time ... I think I've lost my mind Jane - OMG you are amazing well, I just had chinese for dinner, only a spoon of rice, some chicken and eggplant... definately pms setting in I am going to hang curtins, I wish I had before pics. my living rooms look so freaking great. I am so tired... but got so much done today and I'm going to color my hair tonight when mom gets here

Happy monday everyone going to be a shake day for me we are having a beef roast, sweet potatoes and veggies for thanksgiving.... and going to the movies. it is going to be a good day. and shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh don't tell my mom, I'm going to stop at the bar on my way home from work, good band is playing and it is the biggest drinking night of the year.... which is why we can't let mom know, a few years ago I was drunk for 2 days after and couldn't make dinner and it was at my house. bad year LOL I have a busy day planned, having a Mary Kay party here tomorrow night so I have lots to do

So glad Rick posted and Kat should be home today! Loves ya kat! And Laura and Michelle... I am in the same place girlfriends... really bumming, I think it is harder now that there is not so much sunlight, it is much colder here and harder to get things undercontrol. I need a kick in the butt... I AM GREATFUL...that I am not gaining and maintaining and that all in itself is an accomplishment. I do want to lose my last 30lbs and only I can do something about it... but what???? I am doing shakes again all week, don't know about thanksgiving but either way, I don't eat nearly as much as I did or want the things I ate. Anyway.... what can we do girls... lets put our heads together on how to make it happen again for us. have a great afternoon, i'm off to work

LOL Terry that has been what I've been doing for a month anywhere from 207 -211. I can smell ONderland

OK i have to do CTC WEEK. Tracyks you are doing great. I did so good then the funeral.... and it was self distruct and I ate out 2 times yesterday. Had an 2 eggs and a few potatoes and come chicken and as my choices were much better... I know i was bad. Today I'm going to breakfast with an old friend (who is back to work with me at night, and makes it so much better) after we got to the gym we are emeting. I have got to figure out how I can get my butt to the gym. I have one of those ab lounges (laundry hanger) which I am cleaning off and will be using every day. I feel the rest of me is shrinking and not my belly so I will do that. I've only lost 4 inches in 2 months. what a difference the gym makes. My arms are getting muscular from work, I will now be doing the ovens 2 nights a week, and those pizzas are heavy and 2 ovens are tall so I have to really work. well, I hope you all have a great sunday, i'll check in throughout the day

Pamela before dbf's accident, I use to drive 3 hrs each way so we can have 48 hrs alone together without any real life crap.... so I say ENJOY Tracyks- going this weekend, this was funeral week. I'm still getting myself together. This week was so emotionl this week weekend is going to be just what the dr ordered

Terry - you got my purple power girlfriend. Wow - I saw your post laura and I freaked out thinking I did something. LOL Well, I made it through yesterday, worked 10hrs and came home and passed out! My ds woke me up at 8 (my request to my mom) Someone is coming to get my furniture this morning. My mom bought me new furniture for xmas and I know someone who is moving and had nothing so she is taking my sectional, which in all reality is not in bad shape. My new furniture is going to be here on Friday so that gives me the week to get my carpets cleaned and wash all my curtins and other fun stuff. Jane - you look great, what a great article Kat - I AM SO HAPPY AND GLAD YOU ARE OK!!! I'm going to drink some coffee...check back later

I'm home, it went ok, i have such a small family and it is sad we are so seperated. Kat - hugs Laura - you would be surprised at the amount of adults who go without children to see kids movies. We are going to see FRED CLAUSE on Thanksgiving, I'm so excited. I never get to go to the movies. well, I'm mentally drained but off to work. this is going to be a horrible pay week for me.

Kat my prayers are with you today I am off to get ready for the funeral. ds is going to go. Last night was very sad but we all told stories and laughted and it was much better than we thought. I am going to bring ds with me today. I know not really appropriate, but... I did look freaking hot last night and got so many compliments. Today I'm wearing pants, and am not going to look as great but I did last night. Didn't have any batteries for my camera. I do need to get a pic in that dress. it is a milemark for me. It is the dress I wore the year before ds was born, I thought I looked my best at that point, or was down 50lbs and did look great, but now I can wear it without the body armor underneath and it is still kind of hanging, and I was still worried about how I looked. A few of us went to the bar for a bite to eat and a drink and I had to go to the bathroom, I was a wreck having to walk by the entire place to get there. I know my mental issues. Anyway.. off to get ready for mass, going to say a prayer for kat while i'm there. I hope everyone has a good day, I have to go right to work. xoxoxoxo to all