Jennifur

OMG so glad I am not the only one. I just woke up after having a horrible night, but the one dream that sticks out is that I had my surgery this weekend and there was about 15 other people in the room with me who had it done, and they were all eating bread, pasta, (those were the 2 i could remember) and I was sipping water and broth and couldn't understand how everyone was eating real food. and then a friend who i have not seen in years appeared in my dream and that was when I woke up! it has been days of dreams like that

congrats! I am anxiously waiting...Hope to have approval by tuesday!

Sara- It was a requirement by my surgeon to show you are willing to work. they like to make sure you are serious and ready to make the life changing commitment. I do feel great and I am sure if I was not always in last supper mode I would have lost more, but I am maintaing while waiting and I guess that is something I have learned and will help in the future when I lose a lot more! It is nice I am down 2 sizes comfortably, I actually got my pants (2sizes smaller) zippered with no struggles *LOL* the other day, so i think the gym is working and my body is adjusting to what I've lost.

I am right there with you, I feel all alone too. My few friends who know are helping me with my kids, but I don't have a clue how i'm going to be in the hospital alone. My mom so desperately wants to be here but she is a nurse in AZ and is on a cancer retreat the week before and has to return to work. I am going to my dads right now and think i might tell him but I just don't know

WE are responsible for our own weightloss journey... NO one else has to walk in our shoes with puffy swollen ankles, or squeeze their butts into our underwear... WE are the ones who make the decision, and it will be US next year on this board strutting our new smaller bods and encouraging the APRIL 08 bandsters! You are so great, I love reading your post -there is always something that makes me smile, even if it is something I can so relate to and hurts. I think i might tell my dad tonight. My mom is thrilled, my sister - who doesn't understand it and should do it herself - just recently decided to support me after explaining over and over - so what do i have to be afraid of. I'm just telling him.

To say that I'm hurt is an understatement. Is anyone else having problems with their family? My surgery is scheduled for April 11th at 7:30 and I WILL be sucessful. I'm on sabbatical from school to lose weight and get bulimia off the list of coping mechanisms. Well I've worked my arse off these past 9 months and I'm done with bulimia. But I'm still obese and I've been fighting my weight since I was 9. I've been hiding food since I was six! Hiding food from my mom. She's a nutritionist/dietician so you'd think she'd realize that it is harder to lose weight when you're obese. It's just hard. I'm ready for this journey. I'm ready to work my band. First - congrats on overcoming your bulimia. Second - yes I have issues with my family. Instead of wanting to deal with lectures and why's and my entire step family who are all perfect finding out, I am just not telling my dad - when infact I would really like to tell him. I am going to his house for dinner and debating what to do. Admitting in public, my weight issues started when I was 6 as well, and I have been fighting it every since -for the first 1/2 of my life i was told i was fat and ugly and for the last 10 years told i am beautiful. Why in the world would I believe that when the damage was done? I wonder why I stay to myself? I guess my point is, I am jealous and wish i could mentally be at the point you are at with your mom, because I don't feel like I can even tell anyone else. Congrats, You will do great, look at how far you got so far. :clap2:

Kity I am so there with you I am having lots of ups and downs and 1 month from today. I was looking for a place to post a thread on that a while ago because a friend I met at a local support group is getting a bunch of my clothes as we shrink. So how about all my clothes from the last 2 summers were me at 278 and now i'm down 26lbs pre surgery and about 2 sizes, so... I am going to the beach with pants and shorts that are falling down or way too small, I don't have anything in the middle and refuse to buy, because this summer I will either be in the stuff in my closet or will be able to justify buying a few pr of shorts in a couple of months. I am scared to death and so excited at the same time... it is so confusing

That is so funny, I have Bcbs of RI and what a long laundry list of things, endscopy, psyc, sleep study, heart clearance, nutritionist and dietician which depending on who i saw just had $15/25 co/pay. My surgeon designed their program around bcbs because they were the most demanding on a paper trail and they take up to 2 weeks for approval so I hope to have mine by Tuesday of next week. I think the waiting period after going through all their requirments is extremely stressful. I've been working on this for a little over a year - I am so ready! Good luck

Oh now I need to look - I am going to do lots of sit ups and hope that I won't be too bad. I got my belly flat before i can do it again right? slow and steady! i just wanted to thank you all again, knowing I am not alone in my feelings has helped so much, I actually finally stopped crying ! you are all the best

I love this group. I have been MIA for a few days on my emotional roller coaster, but on a happy note, had another head dr appt today and we both agree, that working out my self confidence issues and getting them out in the open before surgery will help me be stronger for surgery and after. You can be beautiful on the outside and still insecure on the inside. So feeling a bit better today, but still have a long road. I've been up and down 5lbs for 2 weeks now, so i'm getting focused. I don't have a pre op diet, except for liquid only 24 hrs prior to. I still don't have insurance approval, I should have it no later than next Tuesday. Going for pre-op appts next week and surgery is less than a month! I am getting so excited, but it is a roller coaster.

I think that is why I am in this horrible place right now, when I woke up on January 1 and decided it was time and I was ready, I have been happier than ever, but in the last couple of weeks I decided I was ready to deal with why there are not pics of me, why I have gone through periods of depression and why I live in sweats it brought out some horrible memories and things that really hurt me more than I knew. I am glad I decided to deal with this now, because the surgery is going to be enough and I don't know what I would do if I was home, recovering and being overwhelmed with this emotional stuff on top of that. Everyone here is great and I am so glad I posted my feelings, I hope you all feel a bit better saying it too. Have a Great Day

This is the best group of people I think I have ever met. I think getting my secrets out was tremendous, but I think that is why I am so sad right now, they actually came out of my mouth and i feel like I am reliving them. I love that heather - and you are right, with this support we will all be butterflies again!

HEY EVERYONE - THANKS I am glad that I put this out there, I was feeling alone and hope that this is making you all feel better, I am still crying but at least i know I am not alone, so that is something. I have a long road of therapy ahead but I have to say, I do feel like I am going through a 10 step program and every few days it is something else and I am tired! You are all so wonderful

Thanks - I am sorry, but glad to know I am not the only one, because I was beginning to feel that way. I too, only 4 short years ago, before I got pregnant was in a size 12 and very happy, and that was after much hard work, but after he was born, I have done the same things and they didn't work. I look like I've been beat my eyes are so swollen from crying, and as i told my mother all my deep dark secrets, I had her crying with me and she now understands my breakdowns over the last 30 years. going to be a great future for all of us... just getting there is the journey!

Hey everyone I have been off for a few days - I was having computer problems but really missed checking in. I went to the gym 4 days last week - so I thank that challange for that! I am so excited about this, as I am sure you all know that feeling, but with going through this process I have been looking at myself and have realized some things that I should have delt with years ago, (and maybe if i did I would not be where I am today), so I started back to my head dr last week and when I was so excited, I am now just so overwhelmed by my lack of self confidence and how long I have felt this way. I knew these issues were here and I was trying to get past them for my great future, of being thinner and healthier, but since i opened up a door I am just so sad and can't stop crying. I hope that this is just a short term thing, since I had to actually look some hard truths in the eye this past week, and I will wake up one day really soon and see what a great thing this is. Does anyone else have any emotional things going on? Not that I mean to pry, but everyone all seems so positive all the time and I feel like i'm the only one having a complete mental breakdown. I so know this is the best thing in the world - and my self image will imporve my self esteem issues, it is just working through things. Maybe it is good that I am dealing before surgery and not after when I might think I made the wrong decision or having a meltdown after surgery. This is such a great group, and the support and even knowing i am not the only one is so much help

I so agree, I am reading these and cracking up at most of them, because i think most apply to me or I have at least thought about them. LOL But, from start to finish of getting the band, it will be 14 months, extensive test and dr appointments, and will have to continue to work for the rest of my life for this to really work - so can someone explain how this is easy? :biggrin1:

This is very interesting and I am glad I know. I when i'm smaller next winter I will be able to wear my turtlenecks and sweatshirts and possibly even look good in many layers and not overstuffed. thanks for the post. I am reading up as I am getting ready for the big day and what to expect

I'll have to check that out. Honestly, since i started this venture monday - friday i eat exactally the same thing. This week i decided to add in 1 whole wheat wrap as i was not eating any carbs at all. I might have to do that log this week just to see just how bad i am, but I did create a journal for myself in power point that i log into almost daily. LOL

Great attitude Because I have been 100% devoted to my new way of life mon-fri, I started having what ever I craved on the weekends. My first weekend was Homemade sauce and eggplant parm, next week was a meal that had lots of bread, so on, so by this weekend, my bad meal was a piece of roast beef, a small portion of mashed potatoes with just meat juices and no actual gravy and broc. I have come a long way but I think training and getting all the cravings out of the way 1 day a week was very helpful. My birthday is the 12th and my best friend is going to make me dinner on Saturday and honestly, I don't even know what I want to eat. I think that is huge improvement and have also learned that portion control is a big part of it

Bandedme- welcome! I am far from an expert but my Dr. required a 10% weight loss and I do not have a pre-surgery diet where some people are not required to lose weight but do have a 2 week pre-surgery diet so all Dr's are different. Personally, having to lose weight as a requirement has changed my life and my eating patterns, so I think it was a great thing for me. Do you have the post surgery liquid diet where you can see what to expect after surgery? That kind of freaks me out a little, and if I was not going to be on Vacation, I would be doing a liquid diet to just adjust to no solid foods for a couple of weeks after surgery until the mushie stage. I hope some of this helps. CONGRATS on your date. It is so exciting and this is a great group of people, and the April Banders are full of knowledge. I actually have a friend I met locally at support groups getting banded on March 21st and I am going to be there to support her, so that helps me a little too. Good luck

Hey Kat I so know all that stuff, actually I have been practicing. I was even the DD at a birthday party last week. But more than food that is the one thing that I am going to miss. But to substitute for missing to drink, I have made an appt with my head dr to get me to like me again and not have to drink to have fun. I am getting prepared not to drink and think i will do good. I have to say I was a beer drinker and have totally given that up. So now i have a shot with a light cranberry juice and only one or 2 instead of drinking all night. I have made the commitment and this surgery is way to important to me to mess up or risk loosing because I want to party with my friends. They are all starting to accept that I can't eat the food with them anymore and that I will be the DD for them once I have surgery, so they are supportive. LOL I have improved greatly. But I do appreciate your input, and I will stay strong once I have surgery... I will make sure to have a giant margarita in honor of all us April Banders while at my farewell to the old me party! you guys are all fantastic!

Hey everyone. This is so very exciting. I am getting so very anxious and excited and nervous. I am trying to lose another 15 lbs in 4 weeks because I'm going on vacation for easter and coming home and having surgery 2 days later. I called about scheduling my pre op appts this am and good thing, after I told them I was going to be out of town, they scheduled all my appts for the 10th of April. I'll be on the beach soaking up some sun. So I have final dates, my final approval, blessing from my pcp on the 20th, getting my gall bladder ultrasound done and meeting with the nutritionist on the 21st - and doing my anesthesia and final surgeon appt pre surgery on the 22nd. I am getting so excited I can't stand myself. I am not required to do a pre liquid diet, and wish i could but lets face reality, I am going to be in Myrtle Beach with my best friend and lots of people she works with and I'm sure I will be having several farewell dinners and or lots of farewell Drinks. I hate to admit it because I don't see a lot of people who seem to have issues with this.... but I love to drink... not alcoholic or anything but there is an outting planned for Margaritaville...and Margaritas are one of my favorites!!! I hope everyone is as excited as me!

Speaking personally, I have always been over weight, a size 12-14 growing up but 25 years ago, that was large, and people treated me like crap! and I wonder why I can't let anyone close to me. I was called names and taunted daily. I began wearing big sweat shirts and baggy jeans to hide it. Well now I am double that and realize that I was never really huge back then and would die for that now. I know there are people who were tortured much worse than I was, but it was horrible and have been going through months of pre op therapy to learn to like myself and be comfortable with who I am. Point being. THANK YOU - sometimes I wonder who has done it and I can't wati for the day people question "how did she do it" Have a great day!

That is all so great, and you do look great. I just started going to the gym in fear of not keeping up with the weight loss and my arms are a concern. I am going to talk to the trainer this week and let you know any tips I get. On all the machines I use, only 1 does part of my upper arms but not the part I am worried about. Keep up the great work and CONGRATS!

Hi ladies, Just a thought, I have met some great people locally (which is how I got on to this site) and we are passing clothes along as we are done with them, since I will no longer need them and someone in our local group might need that size for a short time. We are trying to work on a clothes swap type of thing to help people instead of giving them to a "second hand" type of place that will charge people for good clothes.