Jennifur

Morning Ladies If you figure it out can you please share - I would love to go for a walk and get some fresh air, but it got cold and snowy again, just when the snow and ice from the last big storm melted. Walkways are a mess. It is funny, I have never been so anxious about anything, this has been a long journey and we are almost there :clap2: . I have a friend in the March Banders who is having her surgery tomorrow I am on her list to get info and have a bunch of my pre-op appts at the hospital. I am so very excited for her and think it will help to actually know someone do it. HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!

Denise Today is my day to be strong, if you read what was going on yesterday I woke up absolutely freaking out yesterday and a lot of your fears are why Terry and Tracy are great women and have lots of wisdom and positive energy, even with fears and this is what they did for me yesterday. I stopped focusing on my fears, of course they are still there, but I started focusing on the positive and see great things instead of the things that are scaring me. This is a journey and you have time to think of these things but think about crossing off all the things on your list as you accomplish them. I am not sure how old your kids are but, either way, think about all the great things you will be able to do with them. Amusement parks, vacations where you can keep up, they can wrap their arms around you. These are all things that I started to focus on. Believe me, I am saying your fears are not real, because boy I was a basket case yesterday. Just saying, have a meltdown (LOL I feel better) we will all be here for you, and then focus on all the good. Michelle - ***I hate walking in someplace that is crowded and I get sick to my stomach just thinking about how i'm going to make it through ***I would love to have my pic taken and not want to vomit or go into a deep depression when I see it Have a great day everyone! Thank you - today is a bright new day

I was a social drinker, and now the DD for my friends because i figure I need to get my head in a good place and drink is not going to help. You will make it! Happy belated B-day That is so nice that you still do that and I would be a mess myself. Last night I was not sure who was here with me at first. I was having my major meltdown the other day and went to the cemetary to talk to my best friend who killed himself 3 years ago this summer. He is my strength still to this day. So I guess I was a little freaked. You are so right that this will pass, and when it does we will all be so much stronger and healthier and be around for a long long time. I guess I'm going to continue my lazy pattern today and go to bed. I am on vacation this week and still doing nothing.. LOL have sweet dreams

I have to reply to this here, my children are my life, It is amazing to have him with you. I am so glad he is there with you all the time. You are special, and you will be down 25lbs. You let us know what you need, this is a great group and i have never seen so many people care about people they have never met in my life.

Julz, I stopped working out because I must have found those 5lbs as you lost them and then gave them back. The only thing different I was doing was working out like crazy. I decided to stop until i see the new nutritionist Wed to stop that because I cannot gain an ounce. I have lost 3lbs since I stopped the gym. Man, you should see my house. It is so bad I get depressed the second I walk in the door. Ok has been much worse but I need a calm neat environment right now, and I just come in and sit on the couch instead of doing anything about it. I know putting my fears out there and knowing I am not the only one has made me feel better. And as for my cousin. She seems to be around much more since her dad passed in September but was quiet for many years. I really was freaked because I think I closed off that part of my life for a long time and now opening up again and full force. I have analyzed and analyzed all day and here is my end result. I am afraid of change, I know it will be great change but it is still the unknown and is still a bit stressful. It is hard to imagine myself not shutting down and going on rides with my kids, running and walking the beach being the HOT one and not the FAT one. Hugs to you all-

Well, all those are there for me, can you tell I beat myself up tremendoulsy I wanted to get up and clean today but ... nope... too lazy so now i'm yelling at myself I finally have a friend who knows my strange habits, and one of them is tearing myself up I tell her let me laugh when I call myself a fat ass, because sometimes i crywhen I do. this entire emotional rollercoaster started last weekend on my birthday because someone took a pic of me and then showed me. it has been up and down from there. I so understand what you are saying, I am afraid that I am not going to surive the liquid stage, I am afraid of failing, and as i was tanning today - i am now obsessing about my belly that is down 30lbs so you all know that isn't pretty. I thank you for support and listening - I do feel better, BUT I AM VERY MENTAL and do think about all that stuff and how can I revese all the damage of people telling me i'm fat for 30 years? some days I can smile and some days I cry... but you know who always loves me... MY SHRINK! :biggrin1: I think i was freaked about no insurance approval either and I got good news in the mail today and tomorrow should get 100% confirmation THIS IS A FANTASTIC GROUP OF PEOPLE AND TOGETHER I THINK WE CAN STAY STRONG TOGETHER, I KNEW APRIL WAS THE MONTH

Terry - I am cracking up, not at your fears but I think about that stuff too, I'm will be stressing about that after I get past this week - but I have been experimenting on stuff I like to make it for the mushie stage. I just made some Great Black Bean Soup, I did not put the sausage in it and put the entire batch in the blender - you are suppose to leave some beans whole - I am freezing it in 3 oz containers for my mushie stage. I am going to make low carb/fat broccoli soup later in the week too. I'll put the receipe out there if anyone would be interested.

HEY ALL. . . on a Happy note, I got a letter from my insurance company with a book on "what you need to know pre and post surgery" WHat the heck is that... no approval or anything... so I called my insurance co, they said if I got that from them then I should be approved because they do not send those out to anyone. So I called my Dr. and of course my girl was gone but I left her a message, so hopefully I'll have a call tomorrow saying that I am approved and on schedule for my appts Man, if I didn't have to fast tonight for bloodwork in the am I would have myself a Margarita ! WHAT A DAY!

Hey everyone Thank you so much. The only reason I put my fears out there is because you are all wonderful - and I guess I would feel better to maybe know that I am not the only one with fears. I have these appts and I think I will feel much better. I also think I'm kind of scard of change. I think my dbf is about to bail, even if he is not i'm afraid that my fat is a security blanket and maybe afraid that when I loose it I won't have anything to hide behind. I am sure that on Thursday after 6 more appts in total, I will know that I am 100% healthy. I know my dr needs to make sure you are healthy to do surgery, but I think I would be the type of person better off with a month of making the decision, getting stuff done and doing it, too much tiime to think and worry. Thanks all for your support... I'll stop being a baby now! and boy do I have a long list of questions for every appointment I have this week!

thanks all I don't know, I have been going through this process for a year and 2 months. have had my date scheduled for 6 weeks and still have 3 major appts this week, ultrasound on legs for clots and gall bladder, full physical from my pcp and then a final appt with surgeon. When I had my tubes tied, it was 2 weeks from start to finish and I didn't have time to worry until driving to the hospital, was not put through everything I have had to do over the past year+. I think i might have too much time to think about everything I have read and been told by nutritionist, and surgeon. Hopefully I'll get the insurance approval in hand, get my physical and know that I don't have any clots or gall stones and I will feel better. Maybe my cousin is just here to let me know she is with me and it is going to be OK. I guess when all is said and done - I will know that I am healthy or that i have issues, but at least I will know

Thank you. It is funny because right before I got notice that i was going to be laid off, the tarot cards that I was given that belonged to her, were back on a shelf in my closet for years - in a safe place - fell out at me and all over my closet floor, and when I flipped them over it was the card with very rocky waters, a reef and then on the other side calm waters. that was last June. I put them away and found them again about a month ago and they again feel all over, i picked them up and there was the same stinking card! Now this. And I knew the anniversary was this week but had to call my mom, and she said it was right about 1am when she passed. Maybe she is just trying to communicate with me. I listened to all the songs that were freaking on my cd - i had 2 copies, too afraid to see if the one upstairs is working again, I'll keep you posted on that. Anyway you did help me feel a bit better, but still kind of afraid, of what I don't really know but of something, maybe it is just the great changes and a new life. Maybe i'm just afraid of saying goodbye to all the things I know are going to change and hello to the new. Either way, it is strange when things like this happen and maybe i should start watching crossing over or go to a reader.

I am scared to death, and don't know what to do, read my other post, I want to reschedule!

Ok new delima of the day - How about at exactally 1am last night my cell phone started glowing and the CD I was listening to started skipping, and for the last few months a cabinet door that was wedged shut would be open in the morning. In the cabinet are flowers (silk of course) that I gave to my cousin before she passed, and they were given back to me after. I guard them with my life. Oh and did I mention 1am last night was the anniversary of her death, I knew it in my heart but did look it up. So my CD track was on 20 and was flipping back to 17,16,15,16,17,18,.... I am now completely a wreck as my surgery is on the 16th, and that popped up a few times 16. So here are my fears that I have had for a long time. Not the proceedure itself, but waking up from being out for the surgery. This has been in my mind for months. I worry that maybe there is something else that they will find while they are in there. those seem to be the biggest things that cause Death. I worry about my children, what would they do without me? I am all they have! Maybe I can't remember the last time I was small, or I guess I can remember when I was 175 and was in a med and a size 10 jeans. Maybe I use my fat as a shield and afraid of loosing that and wont have a reason to stay to my self? I felt calm after this, freaked about the track number thing but calm - should I take it as a sign that everything will be ok or change the date? Does anyone else have these feelings or anything similar? I am so messed up right now and scared I don't know what to do

Teacher - and all I would take another 23 lbs easily. I can also see how that would be frustrating. I lost 26lbs quickly and then nothing for a few weeks, but i also think that might not be too bad if you are exercising to let your body get caught up with the loss? Something I think about. That was part of the reason I didn't want the bypass - the thought of loosing 100lbs very quickly makes me wonder how you could even get caught up with that! less than a month for me - SO EXCITED

Yes - Yes they are both great, I am a huge Broccoli fan so I have it every night for dinner. I even found a low fat broccoli/cheese soup that i'm going to make for the mushie stage. LOL Crystal lite, propel, decaf ice tea. I found great flavored green tea at the market and make that as ice tea. They do only recomment doing this for 3 days a month but I have done it since January for the most part and do feel so much better. Sick of lettuce and Broccoli from time to time, but much better:biggrin1:

Bandedme - you are not suppose to eat cheese and I did, I put fresh parm in my salad for taste and ate a cheese stick in the am. LOL i didn't have chicken for breakfast but i would grab a piece of low sodium turkey breast - a cheese stick and orange, have celery or cucumbers mid am, chicken salad with lots of chicken for lunch with another orange. orange for snack (not my favorite either) and broc & chicken for dinner. I use cooking spray and garlic and cook chicken & brock in the same pan for flavor. I also use lots of hot peppers in everything for flavor. I should get back to being 100% for this week, I would love to lose 10lbs before I go to Myrtle Beach, more if possible - I have only lost 4lbs since my surgery was scheduled which is not where I wanted to be but I've maintained. I have tried to stick to it as much as possible but have also added in some bread and cut back on oranges. Good Luck - I hope it helps or you find what works, but I do swear by this.

I was on reading some post from the march 07 banders:clap2: who are freshly done. It is kind of interesting and made me feel a bit better. You gals should check some out

Terry - that is ok I want to tell him because we are close and I guess in a strange way I might be looking for his approval. But I guess it is because as of right now, I am going to be in the hospital by myself and I know he would be there. My friend is going to bring me but I don't expect her to stay, and my bf is going to have my kids for me and that is great support. dbf works 2nd shift so he can't, he is just returning to work after his motorcycle accident on Tuesday so taking time off after 6 months off can't happen. Does that make any sense. I guess I'm nervous and kind of scared and would just like my dad to know what is going on "just in case"

I lost 20 lbs in 6 weeks as a pre req to even meet my Dr. I use to go to LA Weightloss before the expensive drink came out and there is what they did for 3 days unlimited grilled boneless, skinless chicken breast, no salt unlimited fresh green vegies, celery, lettuce, cucumbers - 3 small/med oranges a day make sure to drink water it works! but you need to watch what you put on stuff, shouldn't use sauces for chicken - i make my own dressing very small amt of olive oil and balsamic vinegar with some spices. I did make some dip for my fresh veggies but limited to 2tbs a day. reduced fat sour cream garlic powder and dill... lots of dill. I have to admit the first couple of days I was starving and was cranky. I was eating 3 large pcs of chicken plus the veggies and oranges. I now have 2 small pcs of chicken a day. I am amazed at the difference in the amounts of food I can eat. For the first 3 weeks - I did this 6 days a week and on Saturday I would make something that I really wanted. The first week I made homemade sauce and eggplant parm. IT WAS SO GOOD! I am now down 28lbs and have kept it off. Actually as I think about it. It was January 8th when I started and got my clearance on 26th. So I lost 20lbs that quick

Denise good for you! I wish i could have the nerve to tell my dad - I don't know why i'm so worried, but i worry about telling him anything I do. He still does not know that I have a motorcycle (or so i think) and I've had it for 2 years... I AM 36 YEARS OLD. WHY AM I SO AFRAID? Anyway- I am anxiously waiting for my approval which i should have any day - they say they have 2 weeks and that is up on Tuesday. Bu no denial phone call so that is good. My surgeon set up his guidelines based on my insurance company so it is just a waiting game. STRESS

Terry - it was a detox tea. I use to get it from LA Weightloss when I went there but got some from a nutritional store. I guess I need to pay attention when I make it. LOL Sara - Happy Mothers Day! That is exciting about your trip. I am going away before my surgery, which is why I am waiting until April and can't wait! I am so excited myself, I was up and down 5lbs for the last 2 weeks and it is finally gone + 2 more lbs. I have even been trying to adjust while eating out, I guess it is working.

That is too funny - I didn't get much sleep last night - when I made my "special" tea I didn't realize there was 2 bags stuck together so I was up with horrible stomach cramps most of the night! The things we do...right?

that is great to know, Thanks for the info on the sizexchange

That snow is heavy! I don't have anyone here to do it for me except my snow blower and that stalled out the snow was so wet I think i'm going to go tanning so i can at least pretend I'm already in Myrtle Beach

Good morning all! Here I sit, just getting up and drinking my coffee, reading post and thinking how great it is to not feel so alone with thoughts and fears. We are getting so close to April and i think I am getting very anxious and nervous. Terry - 1st. that is a great confession, how about this, I have my pre-op next thursday and can't gain an ounce so on Friday, I am going to a mexican place for lunch because that is my favorite food every! As for last supper, other than the mexican food and these great baby hotdogs with sauce you can get here, I can't think of anything else i really want before I can't eat anymore. But I have a friend who is being banded on Wed who said she felt the same way until this week and she is starting to panic like she needs to have a final supper if that makes sense. As for DH - I am sorry - money is always an issue but it is more than that. I have been having problems with dbf for a while but he has never judged me for my size and has been with me from a 10 to a 24 and everywhere in between. I keep telling everyone this is going to make us or break us, and i don't want it to break us, but i don't know if he will like me being a stronger person (serious head dr sessions to go with this lately). So is it really more than money? As for telling family - my mom and sister knows, they are both very supportive, my sister doesn't totally understand but she is supportive. I went to dad's last night to tell him and it just didn't work out that way. I don't know, he is remarried and has a huge family on her side and they are all very small - and are they type to blab to the world and I don't want that and I think that is what keeps me from telling him. I don't know how to approach it with him and to keep it with us and not tell them. As for school. I have every intention of returning to school the day after I get home. It is only 4 hrs a day, 2 in the am and 2 in the pm and I told them i have to have to have my gall bladder out. so that will cover the lifting and such. I have great teachers and they are very supportive Finally, sorry I'm rambling too...not that I disagree, but everyone says in 12 months they will be new improved (not direct quote of anyone) and yes, in 12 months I plan on being much smaller, BUT my new life begins on April 16th. HUGS TO ALL, this is such a great group, and as the April banders before us, we will be there next April for the new group