Writergirl

Here's my rant... 3 yrs ago my ortho doc told me to lose weight so I could get my knees done or I'd be in a wheelchair. So, ok, then came menopause, countless failed diets, etc, and finally the sleeve in Jan. Between dieting and the sleeve, I'm down 82 pounds. Yes, I still have a lot to go, but when I saw him the other day, he looked at me warily and said, "So, I see nothing's changed." I told him I had the surgery and how much I had lost. He looked shocked. Then, in the course of our 20 min conversation, he must have lectured me for 15 of it about how I can't just lose the weight and gain it back, about how I have to change my habits, about how I can't go to restaurants anymore, about how I have to take it seriously, etc. I told him I thought that having 85 percent of my stomach removed showed a pretty serious committment. I walked out of there resolved to find a new doctor. BUT... and oh, I hate myself for this, he has gotten into my head. All I've wanted to do is eat since then, feeling like I'm doomed to fail. I walked in feeling good and positive, walked out feeling doomed. Yes, I know, time for therapy. The only "revenge" I get is that knee replacement is a very profitable enterprise for him, and I'm taking BOTH my bad knees to another surgeon. Meanwhile, I'm trying to shake it off and get back to my happy place.

Be calm, be confident, and be happy you soon won't have to work with the girls' club anymore. Good luck!

Stalls suck. You need to either trip that b*tch in the hall as you pass her, or just politely say, "Thanks for asking, but no need. I'll be sure to give you an update next time something significant happens."

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your eating regimen. Congratulations on your huge success! I can tell how excited you are, and it's really motivating to me! Keep us updated on your journey!

It was really no big deal, and I'm happy if my post helped reinforce your decision. It's going to be great!

Thank you, and congratulations on doing so well. I know if I had been on liquids I would have really felt sorry for myself, You're on a good path here!

That's fantastic! Thanks for sharing!

You know, I don't think you should be so hard on yourself. I have a real problem with grazing, too, so I understand your frustration with trying to kick this habit. However, my mom told me she talked to someone who had lost and maintained 250 pounds after gastric bypass. She asked her how she handles days like Thanksgiving, and the woman told her that she can only eat a little bit at a time, but she can do it several times, and at the end she feels she really enjoyed the holiday. Frankly, everyone grazes on holidays. It's not what we do on those few special days a year that will make or break us, it's what we do the other 360 days a year. So give yourself a break, and just worry about today.

I was wondering how you all did with Easter this year. I was sleeved in January (deliberately held off until after the holidays), and this was my first true "test" of the sleeve. Because these types of situations were such a concern to me prior to surgery, I thought I'd share my experience for the benefit of those who are struggling one way or another. I'm the "mom," and have always loved to entertain. I don't do things on a small level. People come to my house empty-handed and leave with food, and we really like to have a good time. I love to plan menus, usually based on things I love to eat but don't indulge in very often! Easter is one of my smaller food holidays, but I made a big Smithfield ham, salad, shrimp cocktail, 3 kinds of veggies, baked apples, potatoes au gratin, two kinds of rolls, and so forth. The table was set with the Limoge china, crystal, silver, etc. Everyone got big Easter baskets filled with candy and age-appropriate goodies. So, after putting everything out, I sat down at the table and began to fill my plate. Threw a roll on it and took a huge pat of butter, and then said, "What am I doing??? I can't eat that!!" It was just automatic! So I had 3 bites of ham, about a tablespoon of potatoes, a T of edamame/cranberry salad, and that was it. Would I have liked to eat more? Yes. But it wasn't that big of a deal. I was full. I enjoyed talking, laughing, passing the food around, and reaping the compliments. I was fully conscious of how happy I was that I still love to entertain, that it really is about the people and not just the food fest. And get this!!! For dessert, I served a buffet of chocolate cake, mini cupcakes, lemon merengue pie, homemade strawberry shortcake, and vanilla ice cream. And then I sat at the table while everyone else ate, and I DIDN'T HAVE ONE BITE!!! I was too full!!! This was the first holiday meal in my entire food-eating life that I didn't have dessert, and lots of it. What did I really long for on Easter??? Well, I had this surgery so I could get my knees replaced, and I'm not there yet. So I longed for my knees and feet not to hurt while I was trying to get everything done. I longed to go outside and participate in the Easter egg hunt (can't walk on uneven surfaces). I longed to be able to get down on the floor with my granddaughter. Other than one small moment of feeling a little sorry for myself, I didn't really long for food. It was a revelation. And I know that next year at this time, my knees will be healed and I'll be able to do all the things I really wanted to do this year. Things that are a lot more fun and memorable than eating. Please let me know how YOU did!

Big, HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!!! What an amazing feeling that must be. I have so far to go, but know I'll be there myself one day!

Please don't feel bad for sharing these feelings. As I made my decision to have surgery, I found very little of this kind of honest talk out there, and I wanted to know everything--the good and the bad. How could we not miss food? I'm only 9 weeks out, and for the most part I'm doing ok. But then I'll see an Olive Garden commercial and burst into tears, because I just want a BREAK!!! Just for a day!! I just want to go out and eat the salad, AND the bread stick, AND the meal! And then get right back on track! I worry about how it will be in a couple of years when I'm no longer losing and it's lost its novelty. That's why I'm working so hard on the mental changes. My plan is whenever I feel really bad about the food, I'll go buy myself something I could never have worn before. And yes, I will watch out for "transfer addiction." I don't have any real advice for you... Let me just say I feel your pain. AND your glory! Congratulations on your huge weight loss!

Wow! I'm SO sorry for you. Of course, I have no suggestions as to a medical solution, but I do know this: Stress makes all illnesses worse. My advice is to take one day at a time. Stop worrying about the insurance and costs, stop second guessing your decisions, and stop living in any moment but the current one. The majority of people in the world are worrying about money all the time, and somehow, things always turn out ok. The money will be what it is. Money worries should never mean decisions that are made at the expense of your health. I know this sounds simplistic. A few years ago I had to shave $85K a year off my budget, and I thought it would kill me. In retrospect, all that worry didn't change a thing, and we have adjusted and gone on. Hang in there. I'll pray for your quick recovery!

Thanks, Dorrie. I have a snack in the evening because I'm one of those lucky ones who's hungry every 2 hours. Without a snack, I wake up in the middle of the night--something I have never done before. It worries me that I can eat so much at this point, although 250 calories a day are from my Protein drinks. I'll just keep plugging away here. I'm just impatient because I'm in so much pain and want to lose another 40 pounds fast so I can get my knees replaced! I appreciate all the encouragement from everyone! What would I do without this board?

Thanks for all the encouragement! I'm feeling a little better today, but still not wildly excited about things. Another day with no weight loss!I'm trying to vary my calorie intake a bit each day. My past week looked like this:Tues (sick): 397, Wed: 1091; Thurs: 1201; Friday: 522; Sat: 904; Sunday: 1009; Monday: 746. Do you think I'm eating too much? I swim laps for 30 minutes every other day. I can't do anything else because of my bad knees.I have two Protein drinks per day, Vitamins, and as much Water as I can get in. I know I'm a bit low on fluids (maybe 40-50 ounces), but that's all I can get in without feeling sick all the time. I start and end my day with water. My day is like this: Water; 2 soft boiled eggs; protein drink; soup; protein drink; water; protein snack, such as peanut butter; water; dinner--A quarter cup of protein and veggies; evening snack, such as part of an Atkins bar or more peanut butter; water, bed. Honestly, I don't think I can go any lower than this. I haven't been able to eat things I would typically eat, such as chicken, tuna, salmon, or any dairy products at all, since I've had the surgery. And I've been ruthless about getting rid of foods that seem wonderful but have no nutritional value, such as my beloved Ritz crackers! I'm trying to change my relationship with food, but it seems that between me and my body, I'm the only one putting any effort into this.Thanks for "listening."

That's amazing! Congratulations! And wow! You've gone down so many sizes!

What if I always weigh almost 300 pounds??? I had my surgery Jan 24th. At first I was losing about half a pound a day, but after a couple of weeks, that slowed, then stopped. This month I have lost 6 pounds. My nutritionist told me the first six months you lose the fastest. I've lost 31 pounds in 9 weeks, most of it in the beginning. It's always been so HARD for me to lose weight. I had this done to be able to have my knees replaced, and now I'm worrying that my metabolism has just stopped and I'll never lose much more than this. Is this irrational? I know all about stalls, but the idea of not being able to lose more than I did on diets before surgery really makes me sad. Any thoughts or encouragment are welcome. This is the point on every other diet where I'd say "forget this!" and go have a big meal. I'd really like to be able to do that right now.

I think a lot depends upon why you eat. If you eat for emotional comfort, then you probably won't be able to lose on your own and keep it off without addressing those issues. If you just went through a phase where you put on weight by eating with friends or whatever, then I think you owe it to yourself to try to lose without surgery. However, you can go through half your life thinking you'll lose it, and then half your life is gone! I was a lot heavier and older than you, and I gave myself one year to lose on my own. At the end of that year, I weighed more than ever. I was kicking and screaming, but I did begin the process and had the surgery in January. You're very young, and while I hesitate to say you should do it so you can live the life you really want to, I also think you're at an age where your body might really respond to a serious weight loss program. This is a procedure where it really helps to know yourself going in. Good luck with your decision!

I don't know what's going to happen here, but my husband is predicting my boobs are going to look like tube socks!

I think you sound a bit resentful of the advice your doctor gave you. You don't HAVE to follow it, of course. I will admit to having a few cookies, crackers, and other bad foods since I was sleeved, and I enjoyed them. However, I then had an honest talk with myself. Did I do this incredible thing to my body to FAIL???? NO!!! So it isn't about following someone else's rules... it's about what YOU want. I hear the longing for a thin body that led you to this decision. That's what you need to focus on as you decide for yourself how you will live with food from now on. I've decided that every now and then I will have a sweet treat, but that I'll never bring them into my house and have them on hand. This is a really hard thing you've done, and it's going to take time to change. But if you don't embrace that change, it's just going to STAY hard. Try to find some peace with this.

I'd say that all sounds about right. I can definitely get in more when I eat soft things such as puddings or soups. I was told to eat 4 T of food 3 times a day. If all is well and you're losing, I wouldn't worry about it. Just enjoy your success! And congrats!

i just read an interesting article (but can't find it, unfortunately) that explains this type of hair loss. The doc said that your hair is always in 3 phases. One third old growth, one third new growth, and something else. Anyway, when your system sustains a shock, whether surgery, weight loss, a sudden death of someone close, etc., about 3 months later your one-third of new growth hair will just fall out. He said it's temporary and will grow back. I'm another one with very thin hair and am dreading this. I went through this about 15 years ago when I went off prednisone after being on a high dose for a year. The hair that grew back in was baby fine and silver. It's never been the same since. May have turned silver from being on prednisone, though, come to think of it!! I'm thinking I'll be wig shopping in another month or so, and am not liking the idea.

Glad to hear you're out and about! I wondered how you fared. If it helps, during the first few weeks I also had serious doubts and felt lousy all the time. Don't overdo it, especially with weights. It's a day-to-day thing at this point. Wish I had known about the Blossom pureed foods! I just got advanced to a full diet, and it's heavenly!

Hi, Debi... thanks for posting. I started at 367.8 and lost quite a bit before surgery. Since my surgery in late January, I have lost 28 pounds (doesn't seem like much for 8 weeks), and am now down to 294.4. (Yay! Under 300!!) So I'm down about 72 pounds all together. I'm down 2 sizes now, and wore brand new "skinny" jeans today to a party! For the first time, I got positive comments. I had only lost 2 pounds this month and was feeling pretty down, but when I got on this morning I had dropped another pound, so I'm praying my stall is over. I find I can easily eat 1100 cals per day with my Protein drinks, but I can also easily keep it at 700-800 if I'm strict with myself. I'm learning what I can and can't do. It's great that you're doing so well! I have quite a few clothes that fit me at a 5X (Catherine's size 34-36), and will have a TON of clothes in a 4X pretty soon. I have a huge wardrobe of work, casual, and dress clothes. I was going to sell most of them on e-bay, but if you're interested, just message me. I know how hard it is to find clothes in that size! I wore those sizes for a long time and have always bought beautiful clothes. Many of thems till have tags! So let me know if you want to find out more. Prices will be reasonable. Sorry this is so long! I, too, like the idea of getting a team of long-termer's together. This isn't going to come off overnight!

OMG, you poor thing. You don't deserve this. You have my sympathy. I started swimming two weeks ago and haven't lost since, so I would be willing to bet your body is just changing. Eventually, you're going to HAVE to lose weight. (I tell myself this about 4 times an hour.)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it incredible to be able to say, for the first time with confidence, "I will never be there again." I just went under 300 (down from 367.8) and it was so awesome! I'm really happy for you!