Soon2BMiniMommy

A tremendously big thank you to the "old-timers" who shared their bi- and triennial experiences with the sleeve: Cheri, Susan, and Coops! Cheri and others have also been very generous with their time via personal messages.
The end result of all this great anecdotal evidence for me has been reassurance and relief. I have never been a between-meal grazer and I don't anticipate becoming one after surgery: my problem has always been Portion Control, overeating simply because everything tastes so good. From what many of you have told me, the sleeve is an excellent solution for this kind of problem eating. It's considerably easier to eat less when you don't have the hunger-producing hormone ghrelin coursing through your bloodstream and your new stomach's capacity is 4 to 8 ounces.
I think the more realistic one's expectations are about the long-term effects of the surgery, the more successful one is likely to be. It is very revealing to me that not one of the three surgeons I consulted ever mentioned the long-term need to monitor food intake years after the surgery. They sell the procedure by showing you a chart of how much weight you can expect to lose the first three to six months with the unspoken inference that the future will just take care of itself. Unfortunately, it doesn't really work that way.
As I have shared with others via PM, I don't mind the idea of having to be on, for example, Weight Watchers for the rest of my life just as long as I get results. My last time on the program, from June 2011 to January 2012, I followed the program religiously and walked virtually everyday on the treadmill for at least 30 minutes. With all of that, I lost only an average of just under one pound (.5kg) per week. My doctor was thrilled with that consistent and moderate loss but, from my perspective, it was very slow going. I worked my rear-end off (having gone to sleep with hunger pains on more nights than not) for eight months to have lost only 26lbs or so.
Then, in January 2012, I had complications from eye surgery and was visually impaired for 10 solid weeks (I could read a report by holding it up to my face but I couldn't watch TV, I couldn't drive, and I couldn't make out the faces of people around me). Within three brief months after my eye surgery, I had gained back half the weight I had just worked my butt off to lose. It was at that point that I privately conceded to myself that I needed more than just dieting and exercise.
I will have my surgery in 11 days and I believe I am ready physiologically, mentally, and emotionally. The surgery won't be an end-all, cure-all but it will make it a lot easier for me to follow a program like Weight Watchers without having to grit my teeth and bear down every night from hunger pains. The absolute to relative loss of the hunger drive alone will make the surgery worth it to me.
For those who are still struggling, maybe you need to thoroughly mourn--in the true psychological sense of that word--before you can successfully move on. According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, acceptance. Conduct an Internet search on Kübler-Ross, take a look at the definition of each of the five stages and it won't be difficult for you to immediately recognize the applicability of each stage to yourself in the context of how one's postsurgical expectations regarding the sleeve can be feeding (pun intended) denial, anger, and depression.
Writing entirely for myself, if I secretly hoped or believed that paying someone thousands of dollars to remove 85 percent of my stomach would be the end of all my food problems for life and it didn't turn out that way, I would definitely feel cheated and I would be angry as hell. Knowing myself the way that I do, I would continue to bargain with myself every day in regard to what I should or shouldn't be eating and I would be wrestling with anger and depression until I finally came to terms with the fact that I will never be able to eat the way that I want to and stay thin at the same time. That is a painfully difficult realization to accept yet it's absolutely essential for maintaining weight loss, even after the sleeve.
Of course, the good news is that with a new stomach that is only 15 percent of what it had been prior to surgery, it is going to be a lot easier to lose the weight I need to and to keep it off once I allow myself to mourn what I'll never be able to do. In fact, that's really how I've been preparing myself emotionally for this surgery. I have been actively grieving and mourning my old relationship with food to the point of tears.
I won't lie and write that I am not going to miss eating food the way that I had for 58 years. Of course I will, I know that. However, I have gradually come to accept that I will not live to be 60 unless I make some very dramatic changes. My father and mother died at ages 62 and 61, respectively, from obesity-related cardiovascular disease and I don't want to join them, at least not for the next 30 years or so. I have a lot to live for.
Thanks again to everyone and wishing those who are still struggling a speedy recovery.

I respect everyone that came here to share their struggles. It's hard to post non-positive things here and it takes courage to admit when you're sliding.
I've posted at length about this in the past. I think that even when we tell ourselves before surgery that this isn't a magic fix, part of us will still want it to be one post op. It takes work to change. We are not fat because we eat too much. Okay, yes, we are. But WHY we eat too much is the real issue, not finding new ways to eat less so we can be thinner.
Far too many approach this surgery like a diet. Every one of us can lose weight with 85% less stomach. The challenge is to keep the weight off in the long term, and while the sleeve makes that easier it does not do the work for us forever.
I'll be 2.5 years out in January. I am currently five months pregnant, so I am also currently 18 pounds heavier than my goal weight. For me, there was a tiny bounceback - I set goal to 135, but had really hoped to hit the 120s as I'm not even 5'2" tall. That did not happen. My body LOVES the number 137. I can live at 137-139 pounds and not worry about anything I eat, and I will not leave that weight window even during my cycle. But the second I take it lower, it's a constant struggle and I have to be a calorie counter to keep those stupid two to three pounds off. So for me, I just have to accept that short of getting plastics, my body doesn't want to be 135 pounds or less, BMI chart be damned. That very minor issue aside, prior to pregnancy, for me, maintenance was very easy. And I have only gained fifteen pounds in five months of pregnancy, despite the fact that I eat about double what I ate prior, just because I really am hungry all the time and I have a larger capacity.
But there is a reason for that!
I spent the long seventeen months to goal learning how NOT to eat emotionally. Every time I put food in my mouth I tracked it, even four M&Ms. I made myself be honest about my intake because for me, this was the only way to stop excess. If I found I was eating more, or poking my head in the fridge more frequently, I asked myself why and learned to recognize emotional and boredom eating. This in turn helped me stop doing those things, for the most part.
I did not eat like I was on a diet when I could hardly eat anything at all. I ate a reasonable amount of calories and carbs instead of restricting myself to 500 calories and 40 grams of carbs a day. I did this specifically so I could learn to eat normally, in moderation.
I don't care how good your intentions are as far as eating healthy and making life changes go. The reality is that nobody here is going to live for the rest of their lives eating only 500 calories on a no-carb diet while heading to the gym for three hours a day. We cannot live that way long term. Sleevers NEED to use that first year to learn how to eat reasonably so that they can live at goal later. My tastes changed a lot and I enjoy eating healthier now and I choose to do it about 90% of the time. But I do not deny myself the opportunity to eat what I want to eat. I simply do it in moderation now. I could still get carried away if I allowed it to happen, I'm sure. But the point is that the desire to just stuff myself with junk food is completely gone. I don't even enjoy most of the foods that I once lusted over.
For some people, therapy is going to be a huge part of overcoming this obstacle. For some, doing what I did can help. I read books about the topic. I read stories about regain here and on OH. I made myself focus on changing, even when it frustrated me and even when I really felt like I would go crazy from wanting food. Once the habits weren't habits any longer, it became a much easier journey for me and I reached goal in a very healthy state of mind.
For those of us that did bounce back a bit, or for gals like me that are pregnant and watching the scale go up, albeit very slowly, or watching their waistlines expand it's still a challenge. We are all afraid of failure. Nobody here opted for the sleeve as their first attempt to lose weight! All of us tried and failed, many of us for years on end, before opting to remove most of a body part.
I agree with a previous poster - there is no reason to start the negative thinking and the hate game with myself because I lose 90% instead of 100%. I cannot let the scale control me forever. If I have this child and cannot lose all of the weight afterward again (an issue I do not expect to have, honestly) then that's what my body wants at my age. I can only do so much. And I have come TOO FAR to let myself feel badly over a few pounds.
OP, thanks for the very real post. Anyone prior to surgery should read these types of posts. There are a LOT of them out there. Most of us more than two years out don't hit VST to read the forums every day, so sometimes you have to do some searching to find what we've said on a topic in the past. But getting this out there for people to read is only going to help people. Because surgery on your stomach is not going to fix what's going on in your head and making you overweight in the first place, and thinking this will be easy will lead to disappointment and possibly failure.
Good luck to everyone out there struggling. There is no reason that you cannot pick up and get back to your personal goals (assuming they're reasonable!) at any point after surgery. There was no magic window and your stomach at two years out is only slightly larger than it was at one year out. You still have restriction and if you use it like the tool it is, you can get back to where you want to be.
~Cheri

One of the "limitations" of these forums for me is the terribly skewed selection bias in active membership. The most active members are preoperative and relatively recent postsurgical patients. Postoperative members hang around just long enough to report their continued weight loss and, then, after a year or so—especially if they are successful at keeping the weight off—fade away into the sunset. For the most part, active members with more than two years after surgery are still struggling, which is why they are still posting (staff notwithstanding).
The other problem is one of equivalence. The vertical sleeve gastrectomy as a standalone procedure is only a few years old and the procedure has been modified even within the past year (essentially, they are removing more of the stomach body now than they used to when it was the first stage of a two-stage procedure ending in RNY). I’m guessing that three- and four-year postsurgical patients, who have had less stomach body removed, find it easier to gain weight as their sleeves are bigger and a small part of the fundus is still intact (they would still feel some hunger pains although not as intensely as before the surgery).
We really need to hear from two- to three-year post-surgical patients who have been able to successfully maintain their weight loss. Specifically, I would really like to know:
What contributing role would you say your sleeve (reduced stomach) plays in your ability to successfully maintain the weight loss (e.g., 25, 50, 75, 90 percent)?

Related, how much conscious effort does your continued weight loss require? That is, must you deliberately monitor your food intake on a daily basis or does the restriction of the sleeve necessarily limit how much you can eat so that maintenance is relatively effortless?

How has your relationship with food changed, if at all? Related, do you still enjoy eating or, currently, is food just something you must consume to sustain life?

Compared to the type of hunger pains you had experienced pre-surgically, while on a calorie-restricted diet, how would you rate the degree and quality of your hunger pains now after the surgery? That is, do you still feel hunger pains and, if so, how is your hunger drive different now than it was before the surgery?

It occurs to me as I write this post that not one of the three surgeons I consulted with over the past 16 months had ever addressed any of these very critical issues with me. I’m guessing the reason for that is they simply don’t know the answers because they—at least the surgeons here in the UAE—don’t follow their patients beyond the three-month mark.
In fact, I think I will be approaching my surgeon after the procedure about collaborating on a research study of the qualitative and quantitative psychological and physiological changes experienced by VSG patients. These data would be far more useful to prospective patients than just knowing the surgeon’s fatality and leak rates.
I am not undergoing the expense and difficult postoperative recovery and effort involved in this surgery just to say “Hey, guess what guys, I’m wearing a 32-inch waist pants again!” only to be back in my 44-inch pants two years later.
I (we) really need to know what’s involved in long-term recovery and, specifically, what has changed (and why) for the 80 percent of all WLS patients who keep the weight off. After all, that and that alone is the reason I am going to pay a surgeon to remove about 85 percent of my stomach in less than two weeks. If this was just about weight loss, I wouldn't need the surgery. I've lost well over 300lbs since I was 12-years-old (over six distinct dieting episodes).
I can definitely lose weight without surgery, no problem. I just can't keep it off for more than a year or two at a time and I'm getting too damn old and sick to continue this cycle of yo-yo dieting any longer.
Not everyone on these forums has gained weight in the same way, for the same reasons (before or after surgery). Some suffer from eating disorders such as bulimia and are binge eaters. Some are “emotional eaters” and will knock down a quart of Ben and Jerry’s after a particularly frustrating day. Others, like myself, regain the weight back over time due to consistent overeating during normal meal times, that is, we eat more than we should at each sitting simply because it tastes so damn good.
For those with more than two years out who have generously and courageously shared that they are regaining weight, I would encourage you to specifically explain exactly what it is you are doing to regain that weight, i.e., how often and how much are you eating in one day? In this way, in addition to being enlightening and putting preoperative members on notice that it is possible to regain weight after being sleeved, the post would also be instructive in advising whether this issue is applicable to the reader.
For example, if someone writes "I'm regaining weight because I'm consuming 3ozs of leftover Halloween candy corn every 60 minutes, 10 times a day, to the exclusion of my Protein, I am personally not going to take this warning to heart because I have never engaged in that pattern of overeating whereas other members might be able to identify with that and learn from it.

For Nikki & Diva, from that wonderful sage...Winnie the Pooh:
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

I'm confused, too....what do you mean eat and eat? What are you 'eating' six days out? I'm assuming not steak and eggs
It's okay....your tummy is adjusting. I can't remember who told me this in the beginning, but she said to remember that even though our tummies are much smaller after surgery, that the hormones in our bodies are still floating around (ghrelin) and the hunger will not be gone right away. Also, our tummies are healing and sort of numb, AND on top of all that, you are in the worst time of head hunger and food mourning, which can make you feel 'hungry'.
Are you taking a PPI (acid inhibitor)?
My advice would be to only 'eat' small amounts as you don't want to hurt your new tummy, and just keep saying to yourself over these next couple of weeks that it will get better. Your body, and your mind, has a pretty crazy adjustment now and in the next couple of weeks. Just know that it's temporary, and you will find balance eventually. I promise
The first couple months are the hardest, really, with trying to find your new 'normal'.

I'm confused, too....what do you mean eat and eat? What are you 'eating' six days out? I'm assuming not steak and eggs
It's okay....your tummy is adjusting. I can't remember who told me this in the beginning, but she said to remember that even though our tummies are much smaller after surgery, that the hormones in our bodies are still floating around (ghrelin) and the hunger will not be gone right away. Also, our tummies are healing and sort of numb, AND on top of all that, you are in the worst time of head hunger and food mourning, which can make you feel 'hungry'.
Are you taking a PPI (acid inhibitor)?
My advice would be to only 'eat' small amounts as you don't want to hurt your new tummy, and just keep saying to yourself over these next couple of weeks that it will get better. Your body, and your mind, has a pretty crazy adjustment now and in the next couple of weeks. Just know that it's temporary, and you will find balance eventually. I promise
The first couple months are the hardest, really, with trying to find your new 'normal'.

I'm confused, too....what do you mean eat and eat? What are you 'eating' six days out? I'm assuming not steak and eggs
It's okay....your tummy is adjusting. I can't remember who told me this in the beginning, but she said to remember that even though our tummies are much smaller after surgery, that the hormones in our bodies are still floating around (ghrelin) and the hunger will not be gone right away. Also, our tummies are healing and sort of numb, AND on top of all that, you are in the worst time of head hunger and food mourning, which can make you feel 'hungry'.
Are you taking a PPI (acid inhibitor)?
My advice would be to only 'eat' small amounts as you don't want to hurt your new tummy, and just keep saying to yourself over these next couple of weeks that it will get better. Your body, and your mind, has a pretty crazy adjustment now and in the next couple of weeks. Just know that it's temporary, and you will find balance eventually. I promise
The first couple months are the hardest, really, with trying to find your new 'normal'.

If you were sleeved on the 14th you must still be on liquids. They slide right through and don't give you the full feeling as much. When you get on to soft foods, that's when you'll notice that full feeling.
Good luck. Keep measuring you portions and you'll be fine.

I don't eat "so much" -- I eat a normal amount for a woman of my size, age and activity level, and all of it is healthy food. Also, my "goal" was randomly selected, my surgeon doesn't set them, neither does the doctor or the Nut. So I picked a weight that I was when I was in my teens...quite some years ago. I'm a normal BMI and am very fit, in excellent shape. My original fake "goal" was 68 kg, so I did hit that one a few months ago, then I lowered it just for the hell of it. But there isn't a real goal, I just picked one cos everyone on the boards always asks for one. I continue to lose inches and get in better shape by my workouts.
My only point was that there is more than one way to do this. I've been successful at this, whether you agree or not is irrelevant to that fact.
ETA: I have no desire to be super far under my new, random lower goal. I don't need to be under goal. ??

Ps I am not lying, I just don't talk about my life. I go to work and am friendly but no social outings or friends at work like that. None of anyone's business at work to know about my personal life.

Ah the irony that her great-granddaughter's name is GeauxForit.

How do you explain it if you're a klutz like me and the balls fall out and you trip over them and break your neck while running on the treadmill. "I was...um...er...ah... just put the cast on." -not that I can't keep them in with the best of them......(oohoooh she went there!!!)

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! "Sausage wallet!!" (choke choke sputter!!) :lol:

LOL i was looking forward to coming to work and reading the comments. I knew there would be more.
LadyIvy. i didn't say VAGINA because i didn't know if they are strict about that stuff on here. A lot of forums don't let you post certain words....i coulda said coochie, clam, poonani, pootang, vag, tunnel of love, "inner goodness" , sausage wallet, among about 1000 other words but i chose to stick with hoo haa thinking it would be safe and not get moderated And like someone said...its all in good light fun ....Glad everyone enjoyed the post and I think it was pretty informational.....
To the poster that got sick after the band and ended up at 98 lbs, hope your feeling great now.

Yes, Queen, we are all awaiting some more detail to your cryptic statement! Please enlighten us....

Why was your ceiling fan laying on your bed?

Hmm, my visual is foggy. I may need pictures....for scientific research and all.

Glad abt the extended wood... kinda feel like Pinocchio's in my pants.
and glad the Ladies are here too
quite frankly ... if it's not for the ladies ... who is it for?
I feel my right hand getting jealous. hahahahaha

Before getting in the shower this morning, my wife was like, ” turn around. Why does it look like you penis had gotten lower?” I'm like, ” what?”. She said ”look at it, doesnt it look lower?” I said, ” no baby, there I'd just a gap between my penis and my stomach now. Lol, they don't sit together anymore.”
Just thought I'd share.

Debi, no offense, but you are reading a post from the mans room! If you don't like it........

I tell you it's a wonderful feeling to stand up straight and look down and actual see Mr. Winky rather than have to hunch over to take a look. Worse yet to have to, ummm, lift and push the belly out of the way to be sure he was even there.

Hey guys, Lately I have been waking up with HUGE morning boner. Maybe TMI but its like a third bigger and thicker than my usual erections. I wish I could harness it and have it all the time, not that im lacking im a human tripod ya know but this is some serious lumber. I was wondering if any of you guys have had the same issue, is it the weight loss or something else? Maybe my nightly Vitamins or Protein Shake? Gotta remember to be careful, almost took out the bedside lamp getting outta bed this morning

A little bit of tough love here, but let's add things up: he's a drug user (yes, marijuana is a drug), he's cheated on you, he's emotionally abusive, he's controlling and doesn't want you to spend time with your family, he's a financial disaster, he'd rather you be big than thin, he's emotionally erratic, you're waiting for him to physically hurt you before you can divorce him, and you think giving him children will help things. Seriously, how many red flags do you need here?

Girl....
Nevermind.

@soon2bemini..I bought them at Walmart