lyndeeboo

Thank ladies! I LOVE this place! You are all wayyyyy too good for a girl's self-esteem! I'm so encouraged by all of you that have had this surgery and seem to have no major regrets. Thank you for taking the time to be so supportive.

You're so right that all of this should be gotten out of my system before surgery - - and it's funny, I had completely forgotten that I had written this post. I think having this forum and getting my thoughts out there, my feelings validated, but then being given the tools and encouragement to know that I've got this had helped me SO much. I'm happy I put those thoughts down when I did because somehow I think I've gotten past some of them and for me that's a small victory I absolutely agree that once I'm on my way to getting to a healthy weight hopefully the changes I've made will be easier! Thank you for your comments and good luck in your journey

Exactly! I'm looking forward to those moments when I'm not "too big" to do things with them! It's kind of silly when I think about myself....I'm scared to have surgery for ME (afraid of pain, complications, etc) but then when I think of THEM and their future with me being so unhealthy and out of shape it's almost like I get a false sense of bravery and for a brief moment forget about MY fears because I owe it to THEM. Ahhhh, if I can just keep up this bravery until AFTER I have surgery

I'm so excited for you!!! I'm still in the waiting to be approved stage...submitted 11 days ago and the wait is killer! Knowing that you're in the liquid pre-op stage - - as hard as I'm sure it is - - must be so exciting since it's making it seem REAL! Best of luck to you with everything - Pre-op, surgery, post-op, etc. I hope it all goes nice and smooth and really quick! By the way, your pic is beautiful!

Thank you ladies. It's so nice to have the support of others who actually KNOW what I'm going through instead of always hearing "Well if you'd just eat less..." from well-meaning people.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog post! I appreciate the support! I wrote it when the feelings were SO raw so that when I lost this motivation I could go back and read it and reread over and over again...I'm sure I will have moments when I'm afraid but those won't compare to what I felt last night. Thank you SO much for the support. I love this place

I've finally completed all of my insurance req's and am now awaiting approval. Since I've completed my requirements I guess this entire process has become really 'real' to me and it scared me. I kept asking myself if I really NEEDED this surgery...why couldn't I lose wieght on my own? Am I being lazy and taking the easy way out? Is it worth putting myself under the knife and having major surgery when I'm already too lazy to eat right and exercise? Am I wasting my family's money by having surgery? etc, etc, etc. Well tonight my sweet 5 year old ittle girl innocently made a statement that first broke my heart and then made me realize without a doubt this surgery is the right thing for me. We were driving home and she asked what would happen if I started to drown (We have a pool and swim a lot. I used to teach swim lessons and water safety, so water safety is REALLY important to me). I said, "Well, if I was truly drowning and couldn't get out, hopefully someone would help me out of the water." She replied (Here's where my heart broke...) "But Mommy, you're so big. How would they be able to pull you out? You're too heavy." And THEN she tried to backtrack...that broke my heart even more. She shouldn't have to worry about what she says to me and if it hurts my feelings. She shouldn't have to try to change what she said to make me feel better - - she's FIVE! AND THAT DID IT FOLKS. I almost broke down in tears right there in my car. I can hide from cameras, I can hide from the mirror. I can ignore the fact that my clothes are too tight I can hardly zip my pants. I can look past my double chin. I can choose to not look at my stretch marks. I can ignore being breathless just from walking from my car to my house. I can not pay attention to the fact that I now have to undo my top button to my jeans when sitting at my desk because it is digging in to my stomach. I can pop another blood pressure pill and ignore my high blood pressure... But I cannot ignore the fact that my kids notice I'm overweight and that kills me. I guess up until then I knew I was wayyyyy too heavy but since no one else would address it I could go on my merry-way and ignore it. But there's no ignoring it anymore. I have to do something more powerful than myself so that I can stop living a hollow life and stop living in the shadows, hoping no one addresses the fact that I am unhealthy. The heck with the fact that I am so unattractive anymore, I am unhealthy and am not the role model that my kids deserve. So I'm having this surgery. I don't care how it happens, I need this surgery. I need to lose weight. I need to get healthy. I need to start caring about myself. I need to start caring about my family and their future - - with ME in it.

Ha! Way to work that sleeve you sexy thang!!! ..But this post is WORTHLESS without a picture! Put up or shut up

Thanks girlie

Oh sweet lady! I could have written this post myself but since I'm having a 'strong' day I can tell you this: you ARE doing the right thing IF this is what you want! Nothing in life is ever easy, but you have to just keep rolling with the punches. I am like you in not telling anyone (besides a few close friends and my husband) that I'm having surgery. I've had to go to wayyyyy too many appointments and I feel like my boss and coworkers HAVE to know something is up...then again, maybe they're all too busy to notice? I hope so Don't be so hard on yourself! It sucks that you're having so much come up over and over again that seems like it's getting in the way, but the fact remains that you're still trucking along and that is GREAT! Take one day at a time, celebrate your successes (like the candy bar - - yay you!!!) and I'm sure your surgery date will be here before you know it!!!

Wow. It seems like just yesterday that I joined this forum and looked at the list of things I had to do before insurance would even CONSIDER approving me for surgery. I had to find a doctor (check), I had to visit a nutritionist for 4 visits (check, check, check and check), I had to get a letter from my Endo saying that I could have surgery (check), I had to have a sleep study (check) and finally, I had to have a psych evaluation (check). After all of those requirements were met I had to have one last appointment with the surgeon's assistant before they would submit everything to insurance. As of 10 minutes ago I had my super short meeting with the physician's assistant and I am DONE! I have officially fulfilled all of the requirements insurance laid out for me and now await hearing those beautiful words "You are approved!" I'm not even entertaining the thought that they might deny me...nope. I have prayed about this and am faithful that this is the right path for me! I'm scared/nervous/excited all at the same time. Keeping my fingers and toes and everything in between crossed for approval!

I can TOTALLY relate! I WANT this surgery, yet one of my fears is that I will become depressed when I can't eat as MUCH of my favorite things as I used to...how silly! It's not that I can't eat my favorite things, it's that I can't eat AS MUCH...and I wonder if that will make me depressed! SO DUMB that I let food control me the way that it does. I haven't had those thoughts lately....this past week my thoughts have been how NICE it will be to have some new (smaller outfits)...ummm yeah. I don't think I will even have surgery until August, yet I'm already NOT doing any shopping because I want smaller outfits...I can't wait for the surgery so my skinny body can catch up with my skinny mind

Just wanted to wish you luck! Originally I was wanting to be banded...thought it was less scary than permanently being sleeved...but the more i thought about it and researched it, the more the sleeve looked to be the way for me to go. I hope your journey is quick and uneventful and you're on your road to being sleeved soon

I love your testimony!!! Way to give God all of the glory and to trust in Him!!!

I want to follow responses. Up until this point I've thought I will tell people what you have told them...that you're on a high protein/low carb diet...but I worry that I will feel GUILTY later on that I haven't told the truth! You're making me reconsider what I tell people if you truly DO feel guilty! Ugh, why do I feel like I need to be an open book!!! By the way, congrats on looking so dang good