Yes,last ***ht I had the fright of my life and decided to really start exercising.
I exercised yesterday and today.Still play a mean game of squash even with no energy!
Also did some arm and leg circuits and I can feel it!
Of course I immediately wanted food afterwards but had a cup of tea and will have a nice protein dinner!
So i have realized that I am obsessive about weighing and measuring and proteins and carbs and my poor family is on a diet and have been since I have started the crazy measuring and weighing of everything in July.
I now have given myself a week off.And just now my 11 year old and myself will be going to the beach and we will have hamburgers on the beach for dinner tonight.
And we will be going out a few times this weekend and I will eat whatever,but not too much.
This is the only way I am going to find this satisfaction level that I had with what I was eating for the first 4,5 months.This also prevents me from nibbling and constantly looking for something nice,which I still dont know what exactly that is.
So,I will be relaxing a little until Sunday which is monday here and then I am going to start low carb and ruthless exercise program to gt rid of this last 38 pounds.
cant quite remember how long I've quit now but this is hard.Had to reason with myself a few times today but am ok now.
I feel like rubbish with the flu and but muscle still painful but went to reformer class just to do something.Also going to play squash tonight just to get out and not having to sit and resist the temptation to eat the whole night.
Crazy thing is my weight is now stuck on what I have gained.I have been low carbing (very low) for 3 days and did not have the usual results when I cut the carbs way back after a few high carb days.
Another interesting thing is this.Smoking does affect metabolic rate.This is very clear on my bodybugg at the moment.Now I have to do something other than wheezing and huffing for oxygen..hehehe...to increase my metabolic burn..lol
All in all I am way friendlier than I thought I would be and that is a real blessing for my kids (they were trembling with fear when I said I was going to quit..lol)
Tomorrow we are starting a week long experiment.I am going to up my calories to 1300 per day.My carbs to less than 100.I am not going to cut out any food groups but will not do refined carbs.It will be 3 meals and 2 snacks and I will only weigh on day one and day 8. (this is the plan...lol)I am not allowed to freak out about whatever happens.added to this I will have to burn at least 600 cals extra per day with exercise and I have to step up the weight training.
Next week I am starting hypoxi therapy!
tomorrow I will see my physician.Since surgery I have had 4 episodes of petechiae.Those tiny little point bleeds that is a rash on my trunk and thighs and this time also on my back.This has scared me when it happened but I always got it after I had my B12 shot and it did go away in about 5 days.
This time it seems to be increasing and I havent had a shot.I also have bruises all over and some inplaces that you know it wasnt caused by anything.
I hope he can shed some light on this as it is quite scary to think it might be related to low B12 or low platelet count.I am a registered nurse and I know that we do not think too much of the fact that our intrinsic factor has been cut out but that this can cause some serious issues for some people.
So I will fast tonight and hopefully he will do thorough baseline bloods and vitamins bloods.It is quite difficult here to convince the dr's to do a lot of different vitamin bloods at a time as some of the tests are still send away and it is very very costly to do.I just wish I knew what bloods we need to do as a standard anyway.
O well,lts see what he says.
Today was a great protein day!
Tomorrow I am going to stop smoking and I am very apprehensive about this. (is that the right word?lol)
Will try to do loads of exercise (playing squash in the morning) and drink lots of water.I have asked my family to cut me some slack and not buy into any arguments I will try to start. (they are terrible at this though so I might just have to lock myself up for the day..lol)
Usually by the end of day 3 I start feeling like a human being again and dont snap at everybody.
This is the last time.I will not give up anything,will just stop to be a normal non smoker from now on.(thats what Alan Carr says)
So this is the first day of the rest of my life as a normal person.
for some reason I still cannot reply on the comments.
I usually feel "mentally uncomfortable" when I am full.Sounds crazy but full is in my head before it is in my stomach.But not when I am eating for comfort.I feel that maybe I eat faster then and the speed of my mouth outruns the speed of the head if that makes sense.
However I almost got a second helping tonight but then the pain struck and I felt aweful.
Wont be doing that any time soon again.
xxo
I have started tracking my daily calorie and even though Im hitting 60g of protein most days my calories have been around 450 to 600 which kind of explains to me why I just cannot even play badmington with my 11 year old.I realized that during the holiday I dropped my cals just automatically without even noticing.I have not even attempted to playa game of squash as even the thought of it made me tired.
Today I decided to eat more.Back to 1000 when I need energy to exercise.
The thing is even though it wasnt really too much,I dont feel to well.I am hyper aware of my stomach all day and I think of food,something I havent done in a month.
Tomorrow I will go back to eating very little again.I will drink my tea with milk,eat my 2 tiny tiny meals but to that I will start adding a protein shake to help with the protein.I will try and buy a shake that is high in vitamins too as drinking a multi feels like it irritates my stomach and makes me hungry.
Hopefully that will give me a little energy.But the exercise is on.It was shocking to see how little I could do and I had a huge drop in blood sugar to boot halfway through.These are things that I now need to fix as my friend has aked me to run the 10k in November or December with her and I stupidly said,of course I will.
That was me for the day.Weight still the same!
today I will take some pictures for the first time post op.Its been 5 and a half months now that I've still been avoiding the pics.
My kid took some the morning of surgery (and some the morning after).
I might even post them if I can see a difference.Being very body dismorphic doesnt make life easy.I have to see myself with my mind and not really my eyes as my eyes still see me almost exactly the same,but with a lot more wrinkles and drooping skin.My head tells me 88 pounds is a significant weight loss.
S,lets see how brave I can be!
i have lost 5 pounds since my last entry.it seems eating small portions of everything works great for me at this stage.I am thinking of extending my holiday a little..lol
xxo
So we are ahving quite a bit of stress in our lives at the moment and my sleeve hates it!
I have constant pain on my stomach (radiates to my back) and the stomach is rummbling like it did directly post surgery!
There is nothing else going on as far as I can tell.the sleeve is just super tight and very sensitive!
Dont really know what to do about this!
I saw the physician today.My blood pressure is still high.It i because I am smoking.Yes,I became a secret smoker again thia months.Will stop this week.Stupid to start again as It really doesnt help for the stress.At the moment I feel it is adding to my stress levels.So,I will make a day and just quit cold turkey again.Serves me right to suffer through this.
We did my bloods and I got my Vit D injection as it was very low way before surgery.Will do B12 sublinguals but he says injection is better.It is just soooo painful.
I am losing exactly 2.2 pounds a week.No more and no less.
Have made appointment to start exercising with someone so no more excuses for that.
I feel good and I dont think I am eating badly at all.Enjoying what I eat and trying to be satisfied with the amount.It seems to be working to be very mindful about the eating.
For this last month before the holidays I want to lose a little more.Hope that adding exercise,especially more cardio,will help.
Still no answers on the visa for the move so the stress is quite constant as it is now almost end of school year and uni has finished already.Am trying to be ok with not knowing anything but struggling a little with this,thus the smoking...and that is my excuse and I'll stick with it.LOL
xxo
Today we went back to playing squash.I actually whipped the ladies I played with and couldnt walk the rest of the day..lol
The stomach feels a little better.Still sensitive but not aching like yesterday...I know it is getting better.Am eating quite carefully at the moment.
Recently I have come to understand that I am more stubborn than most people on earth.
1 cup of food is tooo much.Repeat, a whole cup of food is too much.Even if it is 2 oz of protein and lettuce and salad veggies....it is still too much.I feel too full after I have finished it,even with a break in the middle.
So,back to half a cup or 3-4 oz depending on what it is.
I will learn.
Today was a good food day.I have decided to stop the snacks and it wasnt difficult.Now I just have to get through this evening without snacking and I will be good to go.The exercise program is also taking shape now and I am/will exercise every day.
Now for the next ten pounds.
xxo
Today I weighed 239 and I am happy to keep losing a pound here and there as long as I keep losing.
Things will be a little less hectic from next week and then I might try to go to the gym.
Good things so far.My hip is a lot less painful some days.I still walk like a duck after I've sat down for to long but I definetly have less pain.
I often sleep at least 5 hours before waking up lately and then I will mostly be able to sleep on and off another few hours.This is such a blessing as I have been struggling with sleep for the past few years.
My clothes are much loser fitting now and people have commented that its time to get new ones.Will wait a little longer though as it doesnt make sense to buy one size smaller and then to buy again in a month.
So for now I am not obsessing wirh the scale or with the eating.We've had a house guest for the past few months and I now eat a little of whatever I cook at night.
Another great thing is the fact that I am eating a lot less lately and I am happy with it.I am trying to not snack as much and I do realize that the more often I eat,the more often I want to eat.A head thing I know.
Some days I dont really know how much protein I did but the next day I will make up for it by drinking a shake.
Well,thats me for now.Still waiting for that 5 pound drop over night...lol
last night I forgot to take my nexium.at 5 I woke up with severe burning in my throat.I took the nexium but had severe stomach ache all day long.
Now I've been wondering.My dr said that the stomach will adjust the amount of acid over time.But how can it while I am taking a PPI in the morning and in the evening?It blocks acid formation,doesnt it?
Some other dr's patient dont take a PPI automatically from the beginning and a lot of them dont have the acid issues at all.
At the moment with the threat about senseless questions going so furiously I am to scared to aks any questions really...lol
Will try to research this or ask on obesityhelp.
xxxo
So,we have been back in the UAE for 4 days and we are totally housebound.I mean completely.
It is ramadan and whereas the malls are open you are not allowed to eat or drink anything in public.It is over 103 degrees most days up to 110 some days (50 degrees celcius) and I cannot go out without drying out like a prune within an hour.So we have watched every single olympic event there's been (with the kids legs going back and forth in front of thr tv as she is on her beam the whole time,she's a gymnast and the gymnastics have greatly inspired her to exercise more...lol) I have played boggle with my little kid a 100 times.We are now bored stiff.Another 2 weeks of this,I think,hope pray,and then life will be normal again.
One good thing though.
My hair started coming out in clumps when I was in SA on holiday.I spoke to quite a few hairdressers and they all recommended a South African product called placenta with bergamot.
It smells disgusting but since I have been back the hair seems to be coming out a lot less.There is still hair everywhere but it isnt the total strands of hair like it was in the last 2 weeks.I wonderif this stuff may be working?
There is already a lot of new hair but some days I see a lot of short hair falling out too....so I dont know if it really works.One thing though,a friend of mine that had VSG and who is the exact same age than me was completely gray when the new hair came out.
I am a dark blonde and never noticed any gray hair before.Now,a lot of the short hair seems to be silver which I take to be gray.My folks went gray very very late.In fact my mom still has brown hair and she is 70.Never coloured her hair.My dad has some gray and he is 77 and my older siblings dont have any gray hair yet.
Now I wonder if I will be gray when the new hair comes out?Mind you,my friend lost a lot of hair and took to waring a headscarf of some sorts for quite some time.
This is all very interesting when you have nothing to do and I will keep spraying this stinking bergamot stuff on my head and update if it helps.
Another friend that has RA and gets infusions for it says the meds make her hair fall out at the back of her head.Her Filipino housekeeper started cutting aloe leaves off and then she massages it into her head and she swaers high and low that it works wonders to help the hair grow back.So maybe tomorrow I will cut a piece off and start doing that too.
Well, 5 weeks of summer holiday left and without my passport I cannot travel so here we are....watching the wheels go round and round...lol
So,what I thought was a problem might turn out to be a blessing.
I dont know how big or how small the dr made my stomach...what can I do about it at this point anyway?
The fact that I can drink so much more and with such ease might turn out to be a blessing.I think if it is difficult to drink that in the long term,people will drink less.
In summer it gets up to 50 degrees celcius ( 130 farnheit) here in Dubai and you need plenty of water to not cook in summer.
I also know that I will use the next 12 months to teach myself how to eat and apreciate less but quality foods,for the rest of my life.
In the next few weeks I will join OA and I will seek the help of a therapist if neccessary.
This will not be just another food limited low carb diet.
At the moment I am struggling to do the protein.I am still on full liquids and the yogurt,soup and protein powder (1 scoop) does take me to 600 cals or more but not to 60g of proteins per day.
Must say,eating will be better for getting the amount of protein per day.
9 oz of fish,poultry and meat or eggs per day will give you the right amount of protein,I think.
You live,you learn!I dont know how to stay in the calorie limits.I DONT KNOW WHY!
So my friend and myself are in a stall.She is back on liquids and I am eating more often and more from today!So for this day,no calorie counting.
Tomorrow I will start with 1000 calories every day and maybe it will help.
Xxo
today I made the choice to have 1500 calories for the day.I had about 150g of carbs and I enjoyed every one of them.
Tomorrow I will be back on plan but with some complex carbs as part of my diet again.It just worked for me.Cutting carbs to 25 makes me feel blue and makes the constipation terrible to deal with.
I will also keep up with the exercise and will try to do a walk in the evening in addition to everything else.
Now for the next 20 pounds as a short term goal by the 18th of December when we have a big family reunion in SA.
Heres to better days!
I am doing this blog so that when newly sleeved patients ask me questions some time in the future when I have forgotten all the details,I can use this as a reference.
Us humans have the amazing ability to remember things,lets say in a more positive way,rather than the way they actually happened.I have found this a few times this week when asking some questions.Somehow we either make things worse than they were or so much easier/better than they were.The drama queens make them worse and the "can do's" makes everything seem so much easier/better than they were.
This will be a true reflexion of what I experienced and experience as time goes by.Another thing that I will try to do is update every now and then....long after the prosess of losing the weight is over...also so that people who is doing research can see how Im doing years into the future...good intentions right?LOL
Having surgery is always hard for me.Either the aneasthetics makes me nauseas or the pain meds does.I had pethidine when I came out of surgery and that caused some of the most agonizing moments of theday...the dry heaving was terrible.Moment number one when all I wanted was to undo what I've done to myself...and I couldnt.The rest of that day and night passed like a nightmare..but it passed.
The next morning at 11 they took me to the x-ray dept for the fluro leak test.Number two moment I wanted to just go back a few days....and couldnt.It was just one big swallow of fluro (unbelievably bitter) that I had to take..and it fell like a lump of clay going down a few centimetres down my throat and got stuck....they kept on saying swallow,swallow,swallow....and the next moment some of it just came back up.The radiologist then said to wait as it was delayed...whatever that meant.I waited for 15 minutes and had to go back for another x-ray....we repeated that about 3 times till they said,yes,its moving....you can go.So result: delayed but normal,again,who knows what that meant.
So now they told me to start sipping....and the nightmare started.I was very nauseous since surgery but the drinking just made it worse.the pain was crazy whenever I tried to swallow anything.And that is the way day 2 passed as well.
At this point I started thinking that this is it...as good as its going to get because this dr cut off too much of my stomach or I am one of the unlucky people with some crazy complication and my life was ruined...hehehe!It is really scary when things just dont live up to ones expectations and you dont know if the way things are happening is exceptable for where you are at that moment.And no one seems to be clear about things at all.
I was discharged on day 3 thinking my life is over...and battled all day to swallow even a few sips of hot water.
And then,in themiddle of the night,after I slept for a few hours,everything changed.All of a sudden I could swallow and drink.The pain disappeared and I could drink.
Today I am 229 pounds.O my goodness this makes me happy!
Some observations now that I am 3 and a half months out:
1. When I exercise and take a multivitamin I am a lot hungrier than usual.
2. At night,I can eat way more than in the morning.
3. Snacking of any kind stalls my weight.Who knows why.It seems that my body reaches a homeostasis quickly whe I give it little bits of food all the time,even though my calories stays at 800 per day.However,when I snack it is easy to go up to 1000 or even 1200 per day.
4. Losing focus is quite easy.When life happens I still want to return to my default,eating away my hurts and fears.Even though I cant.
5.Exercise hurts more than ever.My goodness I am weak.Maybe waiting so long before starting to do some weights was a bad idea as it is quite pathetic to see me now..lol
6.Calcium and magnesium citrate helps with constipation.
7.Not focussing on the scale,even learning to laugh the days the weight is up a little.When you know what you do is right,you will lose weight.If what you do doesnt work for you,change it!
8.CARBS certainly seems to be my friend.Even though everyone says dont!I lose way more when I eat little bits of carbs every day!
Now I am going to South Africa (where it is winter and cold cold cold) and this will be my baptism with fire as far as making good food choices are concerned.But for the first time I am sure things will go well.I know what I can eat,what I should avoid and as long as I keep my portion sizes small it will be ok.My mom has a treadmill so I can do some running for exercise!
I am so happy for everyone that is losing weight.It is so life changing and living is so much easier!
xxo
One last thing for this day.
I follow a what have you eaten today threat on another forum and I must confess when I see the following I think they are lying....I am not saying they are lying,I am saying I think they are lying.I hope,hehe.
B: fatfree actimel.
L: 1 saltine cracker and 1teaspoon phili
D: beef-the size of a grape and quarter of a very small baby potato
This is at 3 months out and a sample only...not directed at a person,just an eg.
This is when I freak out at how little one can really eat and how on earth I am going to get mymind around that.I never had that kind of restriction with the band.Mostly it was all or nothing,like everything else in my life..lol
xxo
