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carol1951's Journal

A blog by carol1951 in General

  • Entries

    120

  • Comments

    152

  • Views

    11,165

About this blog

carol1951's Journal, a weight loss surgery blog by carol1951 on BariatricPal. 120 entries on surgery, recovery and progress.

Entries in this blog

Maybe I just don't want it bad enough

I don't know if I don't want to lose weight or if I'm scared to lose weight, but I just keeping shooting myself in the foot all the time. I eat all the wrong foods most of the time. I know I shouldn't eat it, but I do it anyway. Breakfast is still just a protien shake if its early it just doesn't want to go down. Then around 10 or 11 I eat chips, crackers or cheese. Then when its lunch time I skip it or I'm to full from all the junk that I don't eat. Then around 3 I'm hungry and can't hardly sta

I'm back

Got back from Texas yesterday and I soooo glad to be home. I really missed that new bed, the sleep number bed. It was really nice down there, the temps were in the middle 80's most of the time. My aunts house is really cute. The dogs are something else, but they were nice and when they are sleeping you would never of guess that there was 8 dogs in the house. The really great news is I didn't gain any weight while I was there:whoo::whoo:. My sister did really good on the flight down and back. It

Can't sleep tonight

Don't know why some nights I just can't sleep. I need to sleep tonight have a lot to do tomorrow. I leave Thursday for a weekend at my Aunts house in Texas. I still need to pack and pay bills and run some errands tomorrow. I have so much on my mind and just doesn't want to shut down tonight so here it is 3:30 and I'm still awake. I was due to get a fill yesterday, but I postponed that till I get back. I was afraid that anymore in my band might make me to full right now. I'm at 3.5 cc in m

Did I make a mistake?

I wondering if I made a mistake in getting the band, its not working for me the way I thought it would. I can still eat way to much and I don't make the best decisions. I got the band thinking it would limit how much I could eat, but I still can eat just about anything I want to. I have never got down to only 1/2 cup. I can eat about 2cups at a time. I have to slow down to eat or I pb but I still cant eat to much. I feel like I have screwed up everything. I'm so weak when it come to eating

10-1-07

Can't believe that its October already, seem like it was just July yesterday. I haven't lost anymore weight, but I have no one to blamel, but myself. I really need to get a move on. I don't eat as much, but still can:faint: eat the wrong things. The wrong things go down way to easy. I have had a couple of pb's this past week and it seem if I eat to fast that's when it happens. I hope I'm getting closer on my fills. I have 3.5 cc in my 4cc band, but I not anywhere close to just eat 1/2 cup

Not a good week

This week has really sucked. I have really really been bad, I have over ate at most meals. Sunday was the worst day for eating I have had since I started this journey. I just grazed all day, on anything that would stand still. Yesterday was really not bad, but I was sitting and sewing all day. I lost a screw out of my pedometer and I can't track my walking right now, it was what held the clip on. I still know that I didn't walk enought yesterday. I did get all my quilt blocks done and now I

I think I have it

I believe I have finely have restriction. Its not bad, just can't eat to fast or to big a bite. I have to chew really good anything solid, like chicken, roast beef, or some veggies. I really excited and hopeful this will do the trick and I will start losing faster. I really want to lose this weight and I really don't want to take 5 years to do it. If it does take 5 years that will be ok, just as long as I don't every go back to where I was. I have lost 36 lbs and that only a fraction of w

Another fill today

Well I went to doctor today and lost only 3 lbs this past month. I have to start keeping tract again. Why do I fight keeping track of what I eat. I just hate measuring and weighting everything I eat. I want to do what normal people do, I want to eat a salad or soup or sandwich and not worry that I'm eating to much. At the rate I'm losing it will take years and years for me to lose all my weight. I have lost 4 lbs in the last 2 months. I have lost a total of 35.8 lbs since banding march 20.

bad week

This past week has just been terrible. Right now I just don't want to diet. I just want to eat. It all started last Wednesday nite when my Husband and I got into a disagreement over the grandkids. He's mad and I don't care, so he's not speaking and I'm not speaking. The least said the better right now. So I'm emotinally eating anything that I can fine. I have gain a couple of lbs and tomorrow is the day I weight at the doctors office and I doubt that I have lost anything again this month.

New day, new month

Iwill try to walk or peddle every day this month, or at least 5 out of 7 day a week. I did really good yesterday I walk for .8 miles and peddled for 20 minutes. I know that excersise is the only way that I'm going to lose weight.   I got on the scale this morning and the scale was down, but won't get my hopes up till it stays down. I won't believe it till it stay there for a few days. I go to my PCP on Friday. I hope the weight is down and I hope my Hgac1 is good. I really haven't been

Just want to lose

I just want to lose weight. I'm so discouraged. I haven't really lost anything in two months. I weight myself everyday. I can't seem to leave scale alone for more than a day. Six weeks ago when I went in for a fill I had lost 4lbs in a month. Then two weeks ago when I went for my fill I had lost only 1 lb in a month. I just want to lose. I have start excerising and I try to count calories. I know that I don't eat as much as I use to, but I'm not losing. I really thought this was the way

discourged

Weighted myself this morning and I'm still at 267.5. Its been 2 weeks since my last fill. I know that I have some restriction now, but I'm not losing yet. I feel that I'm not taking in as much as I was. I been fighting not tracking my food, but guess I will have start. I just don't know why I'm not losing. I figured how many calories I would need to take in to maintain this weight and it was around 2300 calories per day. I feel like I'm not taking in that may calories, plus I have started

busy weekend

Had a really busy week last week and I now am recovering. I didn't lose anything this past week, of course not suprised. I ate out most of the time. Didn't do to bad. I had a great time at the scrapbooking weekend. My girlfriend and I got a lot done, I don't believe I will ever get all my pictures done. I got home Sunday afternoon. I was so tired, I still recovering. Its so hot outside, I hope it cools off soon. I really want to start walking outside, but its just to hot right now for tha

another fill today

I went for another fill today. I had only lost 2.2 lbs this last month. They added another .5 cc so now I have 3.0 cc in my 4 cc band. I hope this works this time. I'm just a little discouraged, not down like I was last time. I knew that I hadn't lost very much by my own scales. I will have to try harder this time. The post fill diet really s####. I can't stand the clear liquid part of it, tomorrow I can have full liquids. I'm not sure why the have you do this. Oh well its only 2 days

new week, new day

I think I have given up on trying to keep track of everything I eat on fitday.com. I find it hard to track some of the stuff I still eat. Like casseroles, mixed salad ( not lettuce stuff). I have troulbe finding some things also. I think sometimes I get to focused on what I'm eating and trying track it on fitday. I have had a pretty good weekend. I go for another fill tomorrow and hope the scale drops some. I would love to lose 1lb a week, but I don't think I've done that. I know that my c

when will I give up

When will I give up these three pounds that I keep playing with. I go and I go down, why won't it just go away. I haven't lost a lb in the last month. I have increased my activity and I doing better most day with my eating. I still don't have the restriction that I want, but go next Tuesday for another fill. I hope this is the one, it will be my 5th fill. I still not low enough on the carbs. I do fine getting in the protien, but carbs are still a problem with me.   This addiction as I ca

Cant sleep tonight

I don't know why I can't sleep tonight, so naturally I got up and ate some cereal and just had to have something else, so found some cookies. I knew I shouldn't have got them. I did it anyway. I'm really try to mess with my own head. It seems I always trying to put up road blocks. I wasn't mad or sad, it wasn't really emtional thing, I just wanted something to eat. Sometime when I can't sleep and I get something to eat I will fall to sleep faster. I should really be sleeping, as I got up a

8-7-07

Not having a bad day, just an plain old same day. I have tried to keep busy. I have made up serveral packets for my scrapbooking weekend coming up. I need to make a plan for that weekend. Food of course, so that I don't get taken by surprise with the food. We have a suite I think,but don't know if it has refrig or anything like that. If I eat out I will need to figure out when to go and what to eat before I get there. I know bread is out, so won't be going to any hamburger joints. Need to

funky mood

I really in a funky mood today, was yesterday too. I've decide to not have any junk food for a whole month and see if that really helps. I have such a sweet tooth. I don't mind the chips and stuff, but I don't let anything sweet set in my house for more than a couple of minutes. I need to wien myself from all sweets. I don't care for ice cream either it more of the cookies, cakes and some candy. Chocolate candy is a big weakness. I will be keep my sugar free candies, they are the cinnimon

8-3-07

Today is Dana's birthday, I can't believe its been 36 years since she made her enterance into this world. It would be a darker place without her.   I'm feeling much better today. My weight is back down 2lbs, which is a great relief. I had a pretty good day yesterday. I peddled for 6 minutes and I wore pedometer all day. I did do shopping yesterday, so today I will have to get out and walk for awhile. I want to figure out how many step I take in a week. I will then have a average to work

ups and downs

Got up this morning and was really depressed that I have gained 2 lbs, but what could I expect I haven't really been very good. I then decide I would have a good day that last a couple of hours. I didn't eat breakfast just started paying bills, well I really depressed after that and I sure enough I ate a peanut butter sandwich cookie that is filled with nuttella. Boy was that a hugh mistake, I was kicking myself like crazy. I then went ahead an ate lunch. Had chicken salad on cracker and ca

7-31-07

I just don't understand why I feel I must eat, when I know there is junk in the house. I have the most uncontrolable feeling that I must eat it till its gone. I have been fighting it all day. I know that I don't need that junk, but I can't seem to help myself. I really thought that the desire to eat would go away, but it hasn't. I could just be bored, but don't think so. I could just be lazy, but not all the time. What is with the desire to eat and eat and eat. I know I must be trying to f

not a bad weekend

I had a really pretty good weekend concerning I was at my sisters and we had lots of food. I was only up a couple of ounces this morning on the scales.   Cheryl really looks bad, she has really had a ruff time of it this spring and summer. She has lost a lot of weight and she was not that big to begin with. Her skin just hangs on her and looks almost anorexic. She cant eat any wheat now and has to real careful of her diet. She had a bad case of diverticulitis. My aunt told her next time

try to fill a hole in my sole

I know that I have lost my DD, but the hole it has left in me is hugh. I have been trying to fill it with food today and I know that won't work. I have to work through these problems and hope for the best. I did my best with her, but it was never enough. I truely love her and her kids, but I can't seem to do enough. I have given money till have none left to give. I have babysit and pick up the kids from school when sick. I have gotten the grandkids birthday, christmas presents, and clothes f

Major melt down on Friday

I really am sad about my dd Susie. I cried and yelled Friday at no one. She really feels that I should pay for her car that she said she should pay for. Its been three years and she still can't make a payment. She know that I don't believe that her husband can't find a job. She has been working two and sometimes three jobs to make ends meet. Why would she do that? I just don't understand. She has taken on all her husbands problems and child plus her own 4 kids. Why does she think I shou

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