try to fill a hole in my sole

I know that I have lost my DD, but the hole it has left in me is hugh. I have been trying to fill it with food today and I know that won't work. I have to work through these problems and hope for the best. I did my best with her, but it was never enough. I truely love her and her kids, but I can't seem to do enough. I have given money till have none left to give. I have babysit and pick up the kids from school when sick. I have gotten the grandkids birthday, christmas presents, and clothes for school. I have tried to be there when she need me, but in the end she choose a man who has completly shut out her family. I wish I could change a lot of things. I know I can only do so much and I do the best that I can. I will miss not seeing the kids, but the last time I talked with her and told her the kids had been over when the were at their dads I could tell she was not happy about them being at my house. I will not put them in the middle so I will not see them or talk with them when they are at their dads. This is the hardest thing I have to do. She was to decide when and if I can see them, its not up to me, she is their mother.

I have eaten way to much today already and its only 12:30. I have had a protein bar, 2 oz cheese, a bowl of pasta and meatballs, and some cheese spread on crackers. I will have to drink a lot of water and do some excersises. I know it could have been worst had I not had the band. THE BAND IS MY FRIEND, MAYBE THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE. THE BAND DOESN'T LYE. THE BAND DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM ME. THE BAND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. I LOVE MY BAND.

I thank God everyday that I have the band to remind me not to eat to much and to love myself. If I don't love myself no one else will love me.

Hi Carol1951, I am so sorry you are going thru this now. Why oh why do adult children who should know better use their kids (your grandkids) to punish you for a wrong she perceives you have done her? My DH and I have gone thru this before. I'm sure your daughter will come to realize that you are there for her emotionally, but cannot always be there for her for her money needs. It may take a while, but she will surely recognize it. It is a sad thing that her children have to suffer by not being able to see their grandparents; it can only hurt the children.

Try to hold steady and do not give in to her demands for money. If you can help her think of ways she can make it on her own, then do it. But I'm sure she is of an age where she should be independent. Perhaps she can get some aid from a state agency or something like that.

Try to occupy yourself with positive things; maybe find a new friend, go for some long walks; reconnect with other family or old friends. I don't think you have lost your daughter permanently; but sometimes it takes a while for them to come to their senses.