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A blog by deedee

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I have never worked out so hard!!!

My audition to become a Jazzercise instructor is less than a month away. Today they offered a 2 hour class to work on movement technique for us trainees. I ended up spending an extra hour after that to work on certain moves, so spent a total of 3 hours exercising. I am so sore! I'm also starting to wonder if I might need to wait until April or June to audition. For the most part, my movements were okay...the main trainer walked around the room and gave us immediate feedback. BUT I had a lot of difficulty with keeping up with the proper intensity. I know it didn't help that we had to repeat many of the most intense parts multiple times. The problem is that for the most part I was working as intense as I could and it still wasn't enough. In two more weeks we have another one of these training sessions and our instructor said she'd let us know if she thought we might want to hold off until a later audition. I know that each week I'm building more muscle and getting stronger (I'm quite proud of how far I've come with strength and endurance since November when I had my movement screening), I just don't know if I'll be where I need to be by mid-February. I also know there are things I can do to build my strength/endurance, but don't want to push my body any more than I currently am, just feel I'll get stronger with time. So we'll see if I audition in February or wait until April or June. But, I am very proud of myself for making it this far and know that I will audition eventually. Today was just a needed wake up call.

January 24, 2010

5

Huge Victories!!!

I weighed myself this morning and the scale read 158.5, finally out of the 160's!!! My lowest weight of my teenage/adult life was 158, which I weighed in my sophomore year of high school. Although I set a goal of a "normal" bmi, I don't think I completely believed that it could happen. Now I definitely feel it WILL happen. Only 10.5 lbs. left to go. My second victory is an NSV. I've really been feeling poorly over the last week. I thought it might be my gallbladder, then I was thinking an ovarian cyst, but I'm not a doctor and will be going in and hopefully it gets figured it out soon. Anyway, tonight I went to tap class and my husband decided to clean the master bathtub so I could take a relaxing bath when I got home. We have a small jacuzzi tub in there and I hadn't taken a bath since before surgery. I fit with so much room left on both sides. I didn't let it fill as far up as normal, because I was impatient, but the water still covered my body completely. I called my husband in so he could see how well I fit:thumbup: A nice way to start the week, but I still wish it were Friday.

December 15, 2009

4

Lowest Weight EVER!!! (and some other reflections)

This morning my scale read 156.5 lbs!!! In 7th grade I remember going to the doctor for my period cramps and weighing 160 lbs. My weight went up from there and fluctuated from 160-180 throughout junior high and high school. My lowest being my sophomore year when I was so nervous about starting a new school and a new dance team that I stopped eating and weighed 158 lbs at Homecoming that year. I cannot believe I've reached this point! I've really been reflecting on what Chancie wrote in a post this morning about being in denial while overweight. That was me, that's why when I saw pictures of me on the beach last spring break I was so shocked at how I looked, I never really saw that girl in the mirror, just thought I was smaller I guess. Now the opposite is sort of happening, when I see myself in pictures and compare to the before's I'm a little shocked at how much I've lost, but on a daily basis I still feel quite large with so much extra weight to lose. I really need to get back to buying new "goal" clothes and taking pictures more frequently because it sort of forces me to feel better. It's really hard for me to accept compliments about the weight loss in real life and they make me uncomfortable, but I've always been this way (about any compliment said to my face) and have gotten pretty good at changing the conversation in a different direction. Don't get me wrong, I am pretty self-centered and a bit spoiled, but realize that there are many more important things than myself, so when I get a compliment for something I always want to give credit to everything/everyone that has made it possible for me to reach a goal or do something well. In this case, the sleeve is 90% responsible for my success. Sure I'm exercising and eating less, but in the past I've done these things with only 10-20% of these results. Well, just my ramblings on a snowed in Saturday. We've been issued a blizzard warning, but so far still have power, Internet, and satellite.

December 19, 2009

4

Blood Work Results

Finally had my blood work done this past week (had the order for the last 2 months, but I really hate needles) and the surgeon called to go over my results. I thought things would be much worse because I haven't been as good about taking my vitamins for the last month or so, but all my levels were normal except for Vitamin D. Last time (November 09) my iron was a little low, bad cholesterol was high, vitamin d was high, and b12 was high. Now my vitamin d was too low (22), but still higher than last summer (18) before surgery. As of today, I am recommitting to taking my vitamins daily. Still love this tool and am continue to happily maintain between 138-140 lbs.

May 29, 2010

1

Happy New Year!

My rambling thoughts... As I reflect over 2009, I realize that the year was sort of an emotional roller-coaster for me, but also how many wonderful things occurred in my life. The beginning of the year started with anxiousness regarding having my fibroids surgically removed (hoped to keep my uterus), then sadness about the idea I wasn't as healthy as I'd like to be to get pregnant (too fat, not ovulating), next came excitement while learning about and preparing for weight loss surgery, trepidation while my wls date neared, elation with the results of a complication-free surgery and rapid weight loss, fear about entering a new decade (turned 30), frustration and happiness as I begun to learn my new stomach, and finally contentment and peace as I started to feel like the "real" me/ a normal person for the first time ever. I'm now entering this 2010 year with a real sense of peace in my life. It's hard for me to describe...I'm happy. I think I will always be the type of person that has to have something to strive for, make myself better, but I'm starting to discover that just because there is always something to work towards, it's okay to just enjoy the moment too. My plans and goals for the year (so far, because they are always changing/evolving depending on what life throws out) include... tryout to become a Jazzercise instructor (if I make it, GREAT, but just making it to that step is huge for me)
decluttering my life (there is a lot to this one)
reaching my goal weight (whatever that might be...right now I'm 155 lbs, 7 pounds away from a "healthy" bmi, but who knows where I'm supposed to end up...maybe here?)
enjoying as much of this year as possible without letting things drag me down (keep positive)
I think that's all for now, I'm really excited for 2010, and thankful that I've been so blessed in all my previous years.

January 1, 2010

4

I'm Losing It (my mind that is)!

I'm almost to my 6 month mark and this is typically where (in the past) I start to lose dedication/motivation to living a healthier lifestyle. THANK GOD I have the sleeve! Because this last week all healthy eating pretty much flew out the window. I was like a bottomless pit and did not fill that pit with the good protein I should have. Both Thursday and Friday I bought a bag of chips from the vending machine AND yesterday bought a bag of candy from their as well and had nachos for lunch. I could sense it coming too. That's why last weekend I called to make an appointment with Jenny Craig. I realized that I do not have time/desire to cook (it was so different when I was off work this fall--I used my cookbooks, planned out and made meals, etc.) when driving 80 miles round trip for work and 30 miles round trip for exercise. I'm going in this afternoon just to pick up some food...I explained about the wls and how I just wanted access to their food and they seemed fine with that. I know frozen, processed foods are not the best, but for right now I need the ease and structure. I figure one meal per day will last me for breakfast and lunch and then I'll buy a couple more for dinners during the week. I like these better than the ones sold in the grocery stores and they have a whole lot less sodium. On the other side, I'm still keeping up with my exercise routine, but it's getting harder. My body has been so exhausted. One night I got home and could barely move, but made myself get ready and drive the 25 minutes to class. It really helps that I made the goal of becoming an instructor because that is what keeps me going right now. I knew I was expected to teach a couple of routines so I had to be there. I WILL get passed this 6 month hurdle (still two weeks to go) and come out victorious because of this great tool! I even managed to lose a little this week, down 1.5 pounds since Monday, so I guess the extra calories aren't bad, I just need to make them healthier calories.

January 16, 2010

3

Bad and Good News

I was given some devastating news Tuesday of this week that has pretty much set me on an emotional roller coaster ride. Being off work due to the weather all week hasn't helped because I've had nothing else to take my focus. BUT the good news is I never turned to food for comfort. It didn't even cross my mind that I "deserve" this food or that because of the news or if I can make it to this point I should reward myself or plan a special meal, etc. It wasn't until last night that I even realized something was different. As an early post-op, I remember going through a mourning stage when the sleeve wouldn't allow me to use food as a comfort friend to heal emotional and physical pain. I guess I can say that I truly look at food now as a source of energy rather than a friend. This is not to say I don't have cravings and sometimes make the wrong decisions (eating chips, grazing all day long, etc.), but my relationship with food has changed completely and I couldn't have asked for more from this procedure.

February 13, 2010

3

5 weeks out...food issues (just cranky)

It started Saturday after my first Jazzercise class. We went to Bob Evans (a breakfast like restaurant) I got eggs whites with sausage bits and cheese in them, and actually felt anger that I could only eat a few bites. The anger got somewhat worse over the weekend as I was throwing away leftovers from my fridge (both doggy bags and home cooked) from the past week. I have a couple of weight loss surgery cookbooks that I just love, but even when I halve the recipes it makes way too much to finish in a few days, and therefore I have to throw food away. My husband and I eat out 3-4 times per week, but since I'm on soft/mushy foods, I still have to order my own meal (soup, crab, fish, etc.) and then just let it go bad in the fridge as there is no way I can finish it. I tend not to be one to anger easily, but I'm also not one to hold emotions in, so yesterday when I got home from visiting friends and had to throw out food from Friday and Saturday, I lost it. I don't yell, but I just couldn't get myself out of this anger funk. My husband was trying to help by saying things will get better and although I didn't want to hear it at the time, I know he's right. Each week has been better than the last with learning my new stomach and getting in liquid, protein, and vitamins. I'm still learning my new stomach and how to eat and plan meals. My nutritionist says that I should be eating 2 oz. of protein at a time, but I find that I'm lucky to get in 1-1.5 oz if it's something like chicken or salmon. Usually pushing myself to get the 1.5 oz makes me feel stuffed and uncomfortable. She really stresses only eating 3 meals a day with two protein shakes for snacks, but I think I'm going to have to deviate from her plans because I'm only averaging 450 calories a day (but that's usually with just one protein shake) and really want to get more protein from foods throughout the day. I'm going to call her today to discuss. As I said to my husband last night, I am so very happy that I took this step and had this surgery and feel so fortunate that we could afford it. I think this is one of the best things I could have done for myself (right up there with earning my degrees). I'm blessed and in no way wish that could reverse the last couple of months. It's just that each day/week I seem to discover another food issue (mostly mental). I guess that's why I'm in therapy:-) One day I hope to be able to say that I'm over my food obsession and I don't even think about it, I just "eat to live." But I'm not there yet, I'm still working through the fact that food brought me so much joy and comfort and I'm missing that somewhat.

September 8, 2009

3

First Post-op Appointment

Well, today I had my first post-op appointment. Each day I have been feeling so much better and the pain less. I did have to report that I am only getting in about 20 oz of liquids a day. The good news is I am not dehydrated, but I told them that yesterday was the first day I started to have dry mouth...so thinking that maybe I was headed that way. Ironically, today was the first day I could sip water without any kind of discomfort, so I was able to get around 50 oz. I have also not been able to get in protein supplements (5-10 grams per day). I purchased an ice cream maker on my way to the doctor's and plan on trying some protein ice cream to help with this. Today I weighed in exactly 30 lbs less than I did on my initial consultation day on June 24. On August 4 (surgery day) I weighed 222 and today I weighed 208. Now that I'm cleared to go to soft/mushie foods, I understand from what I've read I might gain some or not lose any for a while. But it sure has been nice seeing the scale drop everyday this week. Walking has been going well. Today I did about 1.75 miles in about 33 minutes, but before I had been doing 1-1.25 miles in 20-30 minutes. I just seemed to have so much more energy after I was able to get in protein from some pureed chicken.

August 14, 2009

1

I went to McDonald's and got...

...a bottle of water. Pre-surgery, McDonald's was one of my daily stops. I LOVED salt and grease. Even during my pre-op diet (July) I would stop by for breakfast and get a breakfast sandwich and take off all of the bread. Well, before I was sleeved I decided that McDonalds would be off limits to me. I knew this was possible because in the 4 years I've been with my husband he has never once eaten there (or any fast food) that was always something I did with friends or alone. He always said how the smell made him sick, although he does admit to eating there a couple of times during college. Well tonight I left Jazzercise without filling up my water bottle for the ride home (about 25 minutes) and I was so thirsty. I turned to stop at a gas station not realizing that they had a barrier on that side and had to continue to a different road and turned around in the McDonalds' parking lot. While there I thought I'd run in and grab a water there. I couldn't believe it, as I stood in line nothing smelled good. I did not have any cravings! I got my water and left. This was so amazing to me because I was such an addict before. Now, I'm still not perfect with food, but I feel so much better knowing that this tool is such a help in keeping really bad foods at bay.

October 29, 2009

3

My husband called me "skinny"

:001_tongue: I was drying off this morning after my shower and he opened the door to tell me something and stopped and smiled and said, "wow, you're getting so skinny." It was exactly what I needed to hear because while I was in the shower I kept pinching all of my fat around my belly, hips, and thighs and was feeling pretty disgusted about the fact that I have lost 75 lbs. and still have so much fat and flab. This comment made my whole day because it was such a sincere expression almost like he was caught off guard. I also stopped off to do a little shopping and bought a pair of size 8 pants from Lands End. They are tight, but I can sit in them comfortably. I can't believe that 5 months ago my 22 W's from Lands End were tight and those were the ones with a hidden expandable waist. I LOVE my sleeve!

December 1, 2009

3

Part of a new club...almost

Last night after my exercise class the instructor came over to congratulate me on how trim and fit I was looking (I wish I looked the same with my clothes off). I told her I have 15 pounds more to go and then I think I'll be done (still not sure about that final goal, I'll have to wait and see). I also expressed how much harder it has become to drop even a pound and we started talking. This instructor weighs 134.5 lbs, down from 136.5 two weeks ago...two weeks ago we started our winter challenge in class where we weigh and record each week on a chart if we want...that's the only reason I know her weight, because she told me her weight that night. She is in her early 40's and has the body a 20 something would die for, definitely an inspiration for me (maybe after plastics some day:-) Anyway, she expressed that people in her life are always telling her how lucky she is that she can just eat anything because she is so skinny. She then said they just don't understand how hard it is for "us" to lose weight when "we're" smaller so "we" really have to be careful about gaining weight. For the first time I felt almost like I was apart of the smaller group. My entire life I have been apart of the larger group. I started ballet at 2 and even then was the biggest dancer. Throughout school, cheerleading, and dance team, I was always one of the biggest girls. At the time it didn't really bother me, in fact sometimes I took pride that I could keep up and even beat out smaller girls for coveted spots. I had a pretty positive self-esteem, but was always realistic in who I was and my appearance. But last night I realized that I never considered myself as completely "normal" and definitely not "smaller." I don't think anyone was ever rude about my weight (except my older brother could be brutal, but he was family and didn't count), but I also never truly felt included in conversations about "normal" weight and fears. I remember friends talking about gaining 5 pounds over a semester and how they must lose it before this or that, and I was always like "so, that's not a big deal, it's just 5 lbs." I am starting to get that 5 pounds can make a size difference and means you may or may not fit into those jeans or that dress. Enough of my ramble, I just wanted to journal this new experience I'm having. I still don't really fit in the "smaller" group, but I'd say I'm with the "normals" at least amongst my friends.

December 2, 2009

4

3 Months Post-op

Tomorrow will be my three month surgiversary. I cannot believe how fast the time seems to fly by. I truly feel like I'm learning to live with this wonderful tool by trying to develop habits that I can sustain for life. I'm exercising at least 5 days a week doing things I really enjoy. My vitamin and protein intake still needs work, but it continues to get better each week. Currently my biggest dilemma is how I want to go about the rest of my weight loss phase. This morning I weighed in at 174.5, down 47.5 lbs since the morning of surgery, for a total of 63.5 lbs since beginning my pre-op diet. Lately I've been torn on whether I should begin adding more carbs into my diet (well, I've actually been doing that) so that I lose the rest of the weight (about 38 lbs) in a way that I know I can maintain once I'm finished. The other part of me really thinks it would be great just to lose these last pounds as quickly as possible before my "honeymoon" period ends and then worry about maintenance because I know to get under what I am now will take a lot of work. Anyway, I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go. Overall, I am soooooo happy with the weight loss and grateful that I was able to have this procedure. Accomplishments so far: *Wearing sizes 12-14 depending on brand (22-24 before pre-op diet) *28 day cycles (50-80 days before surgery) *Exercising at least 5 days per week AND loving it *No desire to eat McDonald's (ate there 5-7 times per week before surgery) My hopes and dreams over the next few months: *Fit into the size 10 Lilly dress I just purchased *Pass the Jazzercise audition *Get pregnant (that's quite a ways down the road, but still) *Continue towards my weight loss goal of 100 lbs. gone

November 4, 2009

4

Valentine's Day

This has never been a favorite holiday or anything (always felt kind of contrived), but I wanted to journal about how this one went food wise. My husband and I had lunch around 11:30 AM before going to see Up in the Air, which I loved. I wouldn't say the honeymoon is completely over in terms of my sleeve, but it's definitely changing. I ordered an 8 oz. steak and ate 4 ounces with slight discomfort (ate too fast at the end so didn't realize I didn't need the last couple of bites until it was too late). In the past, like last month, I could only ever get in about 2-2.5 ounces of steak at a meal. For dinner, we went to one of my favorite restaurants here in town. They only offered a Valentine's special 3 course selection menu. I got the spinach salad, shrimp and broccoli fettucini alfredo, and strawberry cheesecake. I also ordered my first alcoholic drink (orange crush-vanilla vodka, orange juice, and sprite). My drink came out and I took a couple of really tiny sips, but even by the end of the meal it didn't look like I'd had any because it was so full to begin with. I thought I did pretty well on the salad, but when she took it away it also looked untouched. This was the first time having pasta since surgery and I ate one noodle and three pieces of shrimp and was full (not uncomfortable-I wanted room for dessert). I love our waitress who knows how little I eat so came at the perfect time and took it back to be boxed, but the people next to us kept glancing over...oh well. Now cheesecake use to be MY THING before surgery (discovered I liked it for the first time in grad school and my weight pretty much stayed in the obese category after that). I hadn't had any since surgery and it was so good. I again was only able to eat 2 bites and the great thing is I was so satisfied. I decided not to have that boxed because I could see myself grazing on that all day long. I still weighed in at 147 this morning, so nothing horrible happened I suppose. I ate more than I typically do on any one day and can definitely see why the first 6 months are called the "honeymoon phase." My sleeve tool is still there for me to work, I just think I'll have to be a little more diligent about working it now that I seem to be able to eat more.

February 15, 2010

1

5 Months Post-op

Five seems to be an important number today. It was five months ago today that I had this life changing surgery, and as of today, I am five pounds from my goal weight. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. So many changes have happened both physically and mentally. I'm finally getting used to people's comments. One new excellent development that occurred is my ability to wear shoes with heels. I went shopping on Saturday and wore heeled shoes for 7 hours and was pretty okay. Today I wore my boots all day at work and couldn't tell a difference than when I wear flat shoes. I guess with less weight on my body, my feet can handle being elevated. Back to shopping, I really am developing a problem. Over the last month I have spent way too much money on clothing. I went to outlets in Virginia this past weekend and felt okay buying clothes because I am so close to goal and they should still fit when I drop the rest of the weight, but I know I need to get a handle on things soon. My eating over the holidays was a little off. I did pretty good up until I went to visit family, but for some reason I REALLY lost it New Year's Eve and Day. Yesterday I finally got sort of back on track and hope to continue to lose 1-2 pounds per week. As for my goal weight, I'm really thinking that 148 is a good goal weight for me. I'm pretty sure that I should be able to maintain it watching my diet with a few splurges (like last week) and my current exercise plan. I do not want to feel like I'm always on a diet...so for now, I'm thinking that is a good goal weight for me. I have tap tonight, but will have my husband take 5 month pictures when I get back.

January 4, 2010

1

Blood Results

I picked up my blood results today from my PCP's office. I'll be meeting with surgeon next week, so I'll be able to get his interpretation then. My PCP yesterday afternoon briefly stated that I was pretty much normal. I really like how the print out highlighted the areas that fell out of the normal range. RDW-15.5 % (normal is 11-15 %) high
LDL Cholesterol-130 (normal 0-99) high, but all other cholesterol levels are normal including total cholesterol
Iron (TIBC)-244 (normal is 250-450) low
Vitamin B12-1679 (normal is 211-911) high
Vitamin D-111 (normal is 32-100) high
My pre-op blood work taken at the end of July found that I was low on vitamin D (18) and they had me supplement with 10,000 IUI per day. I'm going to cut back to 5,000 IUI per day until I meet with the surgeon. They also told me before surgery to supplement with B12 and I think I will just do it 3 days per week now unless the doctor tells me something different. My iron has been low or borderline low since about high school, but before surgery it was okay enough to not have to supplement (that might have to change now, I'll have to wait and see). I was told by the nutritionist before surgery to supplement with calcium, but I've been very inconsistent (not at all in the last 3 weeks), but my levels here are normal. My protein levels are normal. I can't wait until next week when I can sit down and have the surgeon/nutritionist give me feedback on what I need to be doing.

November 25, 2009

0

Tomorrow is the big day:-)

This time tomorrow I will be sleeved! I am excited, but starting to get really nervous. Today has been kind of tough, it's the second day of my clear liquid diet. My husband heated up something in the microwave for lunch and it smelled sooooo good. I asked him to go out for dinner and not bring it home:-) Right now I'm re-reading about all of the possible complications that may occur, but I keep telling myself that I just have one more day and all will be fine. I'm hoping and praying that everything goes well. On a positive note (sort of), I resigned from my job last week and don't have a new one lined up to begin until October. Financially this will be a little tough, but this should give me plenty of time to recover and try to work this sleeve to the best of my ability when it comes to food and exercise. Next time I post, I should be on my way to a healthier me.

August 4, 2009

2

PMS-cramping, irritability (TMI)

The good news is I think I'm getting back to a normal cycle. My last period started on July 15, and this one started today, August 19. Over the last year my cycles have ranged from 55-90 days (except for the 2 months after a myomectomy where I had two 34 day cycles in a row). Now for the not so good news. Since I was 11, I've always had really horrible cramps leading up to my periods. I have found a combination of otc pain relievers (sometimes prescribed stuff depending on my doc) to use throughout the days leading up to my periods and the beginnings. Since I am just 2 weeks out of surgery, I decided I would not take anything and see how it went. Well the last two days have not gone well at all. I usually also have really runny bowel movements during this time. Since going on mushy foods I have only been having a bowel movement every other day, so maybe I just had a lot built up, but yesterday as I was driving to meet friends, my stomach cramped so bad I was actually screaming in the car. I drove to one of their houses and ran straight into her bathroom. As I was going, I felt so chilled and began to perspire horribly on my face and arms. When I was through I sat on her couch with a heating pad and started to feel better. After about 30 minutes the cramps had subsided. Now similar things have happened to me in the past, but I think pain relievers have helped me from feeling all of this at once. I usually try and stay in front of the pain. The temperature change and sweating usually cannot be controlled, but happen so rarely. As for the other symptoms, on Monday I began to realize I was really getting annoyed by many people (that's how I guessed I was getting back to a normal cycle). I mean really annoyed and that's just not like me, I teach middle school! I'm doing pretty well not responding or being rude, but inside I feel just constantly annoyed by most people I come in contact. Intellectually I know they are not doing anything deliberate, but I just can't seem to help my feelings. All of these things have helped remind me what an emotional eater I was. With yesterday's pain, in the past I would have "rewarded" myself with some fattening, greasy, salty food for "making it through." But because of the sleeve and all I've worked towards, that thought didn't even cross my mind until I reflected this morning. Again, in the past I would have "treated" myself to some sweet treat to help my feelings of annoyance with others, but I have no interest now. I guess I just feel grateful for having this tool. Not only is it helping me get physically healthier (and more regular:-), it is also helping me slow down and take a good hard look at the causes of my emotional eating.

August 19, 2009

2

1 Month Out

Yesterday I had my 1 month post-op appointment with the surgeon and weighed 201. This morning I weighed myself at home and it read 201. I finally lost a pound after 13 days of bouncing between 202-203.5. The doctor was very pleased about the total loss, 37 lbs since pre-op diet and 21 lbs since surgery. He did lecture a little, as well as the nurse, when I confessed to not doing great with my liquid intake this week and now I'm constipated again. He wants me to stay on soft/mushy foods for another month. I'm okay with that, but I am getting a little tired of seafood (never thought I'd say that). He also cleared me for full exercise, which is great since my dance classes start next week. I am going to go to jazzercise tomorrow morning and do everything at a low level. I haven't been in about 14 months and am expecting a bit of a hard time, but I can't let that stop me. I took my measurements today and so far have dropped 3" in my waist, 3" in my hips, and 3" in my bust. I took pictures today and although they don't show a whole lot of difference, I notice some change in my hips. Overall, I am very happy with my results and the process so far. Every day is still a learning experience with eating, drinking, and protein, but as I reflect back I see just how much I've learned over the last month about my new stomach and way of life.

September 5, 2009

1

Leaving tomorrow, getting nervous

Tomorrow I'm heading home (WA State) for 11 days. It's been two years since my last visit and have planned to be there over two weekends so that I had time to spend with old friends (who will mostly be working during the week). The more I talk with friends the more concerned and nervous I become about the whole eating thing. Fortunately my husband and I have eaten out quite a bit since surgery, so I am really good about finding nutritious, soft/mushy food (soup, eggs, grilled or broiled seafood), but I started studying the menus and nutrition values at restaurants I knew we frequented while I was pre-op. I will be staying at my grandmother's house, so I plan to head to the grocery store the morning after I get in since tomorrow night I have a friend picking me up from the airport and we're going straight to a barbeque. I think I'll buy some yogurt--I get the diabetic friendly kind--eggs whites, veggie cheese, turkey sausage, chicken breasts, and lactaid milk. I'm going to pack some protein powder to take with me since the only ones I can tolerate are only available by ordering...I think. Another big concern is helping my friends understand what I can and cannot eat. Although they all know about my surgery, I told everyone in my life (and some who weren't) when I first started looking into it, since they are so far away, I haven't really educated them on the ins and outs of my day to day eating. I have one friend that wants to treat me to lunch next week (she's a little depressed because all of her kids are now school aged for the first time). I'm thinking of suggesting visiting some places around town that we used to hang out and ride our bikes to when we were kids. Another two friends want to go to the big fair and in the past the fair has always been a place for me to overindulge in bad foods. She is much more health conscious and although she mentioned wanting to get a scone I know the trip will be more about checking out the booths and stuff. So I should be fine if I can fight the head hunger. I'm thinking about picking ONE treat that I can have and take a few bites. As for packing, I'm really confused on what to bring. Money has been a bit tight since I'm still not really working much and have about a month more off. I've budgeted out a certain amount and don't plan to go over. So normally I would use any vacation as a chance to add to my wardrobe (when I was a size 16 or below, larger than that and shopping was just not appealing), this time I really need to bring enough to get me by. I know all of these things will work out, but I'm just having last minute worries. I've been pretty fortunate since surgery in that I've been in a pretty controlled environment most days and able to plan ahead for the most part. With this trip, I kind of feel that I am now officially on training wheels.

September 10, 2009

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Working toward my goals

Tomorrow morning I will go to a movement screening to see if I am able to try out to be a Jazzercise instructor in February. I'm very excited, but also nervous. I am still not in the best of shape and I need to definitely work on strengthening my core as well as all other areas, but we'll see what they say. To become an instructor has been my fitness goal. I'm considering signing up for personal training for 6 weeks to see if that helps me build strength and drop the last 22 pounds. The training studio is on my way home from work after I get out of the city and would be twice a week sessions with a personal trainer. I'm going to call after I find out how I do tomorrow and maybe schedule a fitness evaluation. On a completely different note, this morning I weighed in at 169.5 lbs. I'm out of the 170's, yay! So I'm still trekking towards my weight loss goal, although things are slowing down.

November 13, 2009

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2 months post-op

Today is my two month surgiversary. As of this morning I am 186 pounds; down 52 pounds from the beginning of my pre-op diet (July 7), and 36 pounds since the morning of surgery (August 4). I have been at the same weight (+-2 lbs) for 4 days now. I am really hoping to make my second weight goal of 184 lbs, by my 30th birthday, which is on October 12. I made this my second goal because it was the lowest weight I have ever been as an adult (my first goal was 199 lbs). I had my 2 month follow-up visit with my surgeon two days ago. He seemed very happy with my progress and he cleared me for solid foods. He wanted me to get my labs done before this visit, but my vacation did not allow time for that. I'm going in on Friday and he will call to go over them once he's received them. Overall, I think I am doing very well. I'm still learning to adjust to my sleeve--eating slower, recognizing when I'm full. I'm also noticing that I MUST continue to plan out my food in order to make the best decisions. Last week was my first week back at work (although I'm subbing until the 15th when I take over my classroom again) and I didn't do the greatest with my eating. But thanks to this tool I know I will get back on track and continue to lose. I am so happy that I had this surgery!!!

October 4, 2009

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A couple non-scale victories!

Today, for the first time in a long, long while, my husband complimented a part of my body besides my smile:-) I was walking down the stairs as he was about to leave and he said my arms were looking smaller! Yay! My shoes are getting baggy. I wear flip flops all summer. Last Friday when I put a pair on there seemed to be more space. A couple days later a different pair fit similarly, but yesterday I wore my running shoes to go walking for the first time in about two weeks and they were so lose. I wouldn't say that I have lost a half or whole size (like I've read can happen when you lose weight), but I'm definitely losing fat from my feet.

August 14, 2009

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I'm Overweight!!!!! And some other stuff...

Well, I just wrote a thread about a couple of successes and then went to change my ticker. Guess what? I am no longer obese. My BMI is now 29.8!!! I cannot believe it...this sleeve is amazing. I am still a work in progress when it comes to this new lifestyle, but every week I get better. Food is no longer an addiction, but I am falling back into some addictive shopping behavior patterns that I worked hard throughout my 20's to overcome. I did much better this weekend with my shopping and didn't spend nearly as much money as I had a few weeks ago in part because the clothes I bought a few weeks ago are already starting to look frumpy. I'm convincing myself that I do not need cute clothes at every size and also think I'll buy more dresses that I can wear through multiple sizes. Unfortunately they do not have very good thrift stores around here and the consignment shops (that I have found) only take really high-end clothing and I'd spend much more at them than at discount or regular department store sales. Did I mention that I LOVE MY SLEEVE!

October 19, 2009

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Learning to live

I flew across the country at about 5.5 weeks out of surgery. I was still on soft/mushy food and was pretty nervous about both the flight (5 hours direct) and the 11 days I was to spend with my grandmother, family, and friends. Well...I'm now back home almost 7.5 weeks out and down an additional 5 lbs. I wasn't perfect in my eating--ate too fast many times (definitely felt it), ate more carbs than I had been, and missed my protein goal some days--but I feel like a complete success! I feel this trip was the beginning of my new life (I know it's sort of corny). It helped me realize that although I must plan ahead when it comes to food and exercise, I do not need to be obsessed about it like I had been in the pre-op and direct post-op period. I now understand that the last couple of months I have been making real lifestyle changes, not just dieting, and those changes were evident on my trip based on the decent food choices I made and fun I had incorporating exercise. Another interesting food related thing to happen was when I went to a favorite chain restaurant with friends, I discovered that without being able to scarf down food with liquid, it really wasn't that good. I am now a lot more conscious about how the food tastes seeing that I only get a few bites before being full. Overall, I learning to live with this wonderful tool and finding that I love it!

September 25, 2009

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