Lots of ramblings...
It has been so long and I actually forgot that today was my surgiversary. This morning I received an email from another site congratulating me on being 3 years out so I thought I'd come here and check things out.
Life really has changed over the past years, but that was inevitable with or without the sleeve
I am up 20 pounds from my goal weight and 30 pounds from my happy weight. About 25 of those pounds have been put on since the birth of my beautiful daughter who is now almost 16 months. I am not happy about this, but wow, being a mom really cut into my exercise and sleep time;-) I have now begun a consistent exercise routine again (after an inconsistent year), am trying to get the food choices under control (it's hard to make healthy choices on 5 hours of sleep) and hope by my birthday in October to be down at least 10 pounds.
Ugly (pt. 2)-my body!!!!! I'm sitting at a size 10 and get so many compliments about how much better (healthier) I look compared to my size 4 body, and I'd have to agree to an extent, but boy do I miss my muscle-toned body:-(
A big reason for having the vsg was to help our chances of getting pregnant. Unfortunately after a year out and steady for months below my goal weight, I went back to my RE and attempted to have some tests run. Long story short, it turned out that my only chance at pregnancy was to have my tubes removed, due to severe scarring, and go through IVF. I was VERY depressed for about a week. I'd figured out how we could afford (mentally and financially) IUI, but IVF??? And then I realized I could either be sad and upset or I could make a new plan, either way life was going to move forward. It's reflecting on times like this that I'm reminded how little is truly in our control, but fortunately God is at the helm and, at least in my experiences, has a more awesome plan for my life than even I could imagine.
The good, great, fantastic...
About a week after getting the devastating news and posting to this wonderful board about it, I read a reply from someone who opened my eyes. She probably doesn't even realize it, but after reading through all my posts she made a comment that changed my life. She said "I know that you would like to have a biological child but there are sooooo many many many children that need a loving home..." At first I was really offended, but then I reread all of my posts and realized that of course she and everyone else would assume that getting pregnant was very important to me, I mean look back at everything I'd posted about the drastic steps I was taking, BUT it wasn't about being pregnant to me, it was about being a mom and my husband being a dad.
At that point, we half-heartedly discussed adoption, but that post really made me examine what we wanted. Shortly after that I we began the home study process and before our report was written we were matched with a wonderful young lady due in April. And the rest is history...although life wouldn't be life without a few issues, but it all worked out.
A big part of the struggle for me with food, exercise, and sleep this past year or so was the fact that I still was working outside my state about 40 miles each way. If you know anything about the Washington DC area, you know a commute like that can be horrendous AND it usually was. Well, in October 2011, I made the decision I wouldn't be coming back to this current job another school year and let my principal know. It was kind of scary with this economy and teaching jobs near my home very competitive, but I had to make a decision that was good for my health and family. In December I happened on a job fair and was offered a contract. In March I was offered a job in my own district for the remainder of the school year, but my current principal would not budge on the 30 days notice thing and they needed the position filled immediately, so I had to turn it down. That was a hard pill to swallow, but in the end, like most things, it worked out for the best. I ended up with a lot of possibilities and took one at an independent school near my house that begins at age three and goes through high school, which will be great as my baby grows up.
I'm now laying in bed with a little girl curled up at my side because she thought 4 AM would be a good wake up time this morning and I was afraid she'd hurt herself jumping in her crib if I didn't get her out.
So there's the good, bad, and ugly. Getting sleeved three years ago was an excellent decision for me and I know it's helped me get to where I am now. It sort of reminds me of the Robert Frost poem...and I took the road less traveled down and that has made all the difference. Who knows where the other fork (non-sleeve) would have led me, maybe somewhere just as great, but I'm happy to be where I am today!
And I PASSED!!!!!!!!!! This has been a long time in coming. I was scheduled for two different auditions previously this year, but for different reasons had to skip them.
I've danced my entire life and I can say that today's audition was the most nervous I've ever been. I think because I had to do it solo vs. being in a group.
Now I have to get through the next two days and I'll be an instructor. :scared0:
I've never been so strong and healthy. None of this would have been possible without the vsg.
I made the decision about a week ago to go back to the fertility clinic I was using pre-surgery. We've been actively trying for about 5 months (but not doing anything to prevent it for 6 months) and after 3 years, I'm very impatient:-) I have an appointment set up for July 7, but called and spoke with the nurse about coming in for my 3 day blood work before that (I'm due to start my period the week before). She said that would be fine because the doctor will want to re-run some tests since it's been a year and a half since I've been there. I don't yet know if I will need assistance (like meds or iui), but it makes me feel better that I can get thoroughly checked out to make sure there is nothing wrong like before.
I'm just so excited and grateful to be at the healthiest weight I've ever been to embark on this journey. :scared0:
Since I've been one who has told most everyone about my surgery, I usually respond to compliments with something like, "I was so fortunate to have this procedure." Well, today as I was walking down the hall, a colleague passed me and said again how amazed she was with my transformation. She asked me how I was continuing to do it and of course I mentioned the surgery. She replied with the fact she knows about the surgery, but many people have surgery and do not succeed. It made me stop and realize that I have worked this tool and I'm proud of that.
While I am definitely not perfect, I make decisions daily about food and exercise to make this a lifestyle and not just a temporary thing. Now I still feel that the sleeve is mostly responsible for my success, but am starting to feel that I played a big role and can be proud too.
Finally had my blood work done this past week (had the order for the last 2 months, but I really hate needles) and the surgeon called to go over my results. I thought things would be much worse because I haven't been as good about taking my vitamins for the last month or so, but all my levels were normal except for Vitamin D.
Last time (November 09) my iron was a little low, bad cholesterol was high, vitamin d was high, and b12 was high. Now my vitamin d was too low (22), but still higher than last summer (18) before surgery.
As of today, I am recommitting to taking my vitamins daily. Still love this tool and am continue to happily maintain between 138-140 lbs.
Today when I walked into work my assistant principal said she had something she had to show me. I walked in wondering what it could be and she had these two pictures on her computer from last June at a teacher's retirement party. It was a shocker to me because this was from my heaviest (241) and I had no pictures from this time. I'll try to post them here. There really is a big difference.
Well, today I started back to my exercise routine (after the long hiatus I took when my emotions were so out of sorts). IT KICKED MY BUTT!!! After about the third song, it was difficult to breathe, but I kept pushing through and I felt my body get used to it about half way into class. I almost dropped down to my 5 lb weights, but stuck with the 8 lbs. and I made it through. I couldn't quite keep up with the ab routines, but I did my best.
Overall, I'm pleased with how easy it was to get back in the swing of an aerobic workout. I know before the weight loss, if I ever went a month or more of working out, it was so difficult to get back...I basically had to begin at the very beginning. Today I realized that my body is strong and understand that although there might be other times in life I have to take exercise breaks, it's really important for both my physical and mental health to exercise.
Well, it's been a while since I've checked in with everyone and in 2 days it will be my 9 month anniversary from surgery. The last couple of months have been very difficult for me in terms of anxiety/depression, but for the most part things are under control now and I am still so very happy that I had the opportunity to have this wonderful procedure. I really like this place a lot and am so grateful for all of the kind and knowledgeable people here.
For all the pre-op and initial post-op people I am going to list my stats below because although I know we are are different and will have different journeys, it was so motivating to read about other's journeys. I'll also update my album, because I still enjoy looking at other's pictures.
Consultation (6/09): 238 lbs.
Surgery Day (8/09): 222 lbs.
One Month: 201 lbs.
Two Months: 186 lbs.
Three Months: 175 lbs.
Four Months: 162 lbs.
Five Months: 153 lbs.
Six Months: 149 lbs.
Seven Months: 143 lbs.
Eight Months: 138 lbs.
Currently (5/10): 138-140 pounds
Waist: 43" to 29 "
Hips: 51" to 36"
Bust: 45.5" to 34.5"
Clothing- (clothing sizes are such a range; I just bought one large dress and a size 2 skirt...it just depends on the brand and cut)
Pants: 22/24 to 4/6
Tops: 22 (2XL) to 6 (small/med/lg)
Dresses/Skirts: 2XL to 4/6 (small/med/lg)
Bra: 40/42 DD to 34 C
I've been feeling under the weather off and on for over a month now. I thought the most recent bout was simply allergies. I was able to get back into my doctor yesterday afternoon and he gave me a couple of prescriptions, but my husband and I had to cancel our trip (to get a full refund and/or credit) by yesterday. We went ahead and cancelled. I have these 5-15 minute coughing attacks and we were afraid to fly if those were not under control (I hate to be on an airplane when someone is obviously so sick). This morning I already feel a little better, so I'm kind of bummed that we cancelled, but I know that traveling, and even beach lounging, isn't so fun when sick.
Oh well, I am now planning a major shopping excursion next week to make up for it. It still won't be the beach, but it's something I guess.
I went to a scheduled doctor's appointment today to discuss my low blood pressure issues. Over the past week my blood pressure had seemed better (101/57), but I kept the appointment because he only works one Saturday a month. The nurse took my bp and it was 96/61. The doctor took it manually and got a very low reading as well and then switched to a different cuff. He told me that because of how small I am now a child's cuff would give me a more accurate reading. With it he said I'm definitely "low," but my pulse rate is slow as well, so he's not concerned like he would be if I had a normal pulse rate. He explained the whole thing in detail, but my eyes glazed over and I just half listened. BUT, the good news is that I'm okay for now. He was also really glad to hear that I was trying to maintain. He didn't say that I shouldn't lose anymore, but if I did, it needed to be at a much slower rate.
My husband actually came to this appointment with me and at the end brought up my emotional state. The doctor confirmed that the weight loss is a contributing factor to my state. After more of a discussion though, we decided I would try a low dose of an anti-depressant for a month and then see him again. I won't go into the contributing factors here, but he also wants me to see a psychiatrist. I'm cautious, but a little hopeful that maybe this medicine will help get me in a good place again.
I'll be seeing my surgeon on April 1, and will see what he has to say about these issues as well.
Well, yesterday marked my 7 month anniversary from surgery. I am pretty happy with where I am health-wise. I'll be having a follow-up visit with my surgeon the beginning of next month, so will have my labs drawn in a couple of weeks. I'm pretty sure they will show some deficiencies. This past month I've done pretty poorly taking all but my multivitamin, which has been pretty good. I've been ill off and on most of the month and I've just not been as good as I should have been.
I've also struggled this last month with my exercise routine. When the snow hit, things were closed and schedules erratic for working out. I then flew home for a week. So basically I went from consistently exercising for 5-7 days per week (since 1 month post-op) to 2-3 days per week. I'm hoping this virus is finally out of me and I can get back to normal.
My weight has continued to decline, but at a nice and slow rate. I lost almost 6 pounds, making my grand total weight loss -95 pounds. I think I'd like to try to maintain a weight between 140-148 pounds, but who knows where my body will be comfortable. I'd like to not drop below 140 pounds to try to maintain some curves and not have as much lose skin. Just today at work (spirit day-wearing jeans and a tee shirt) I was mistaken for a middle school kid (from the side and back) by two different teachers and a custodian. I NEED curves...I don't want to be mistaken for a teenager (although I wouldn't mind it so much in the face:-).
I've become much more accustomed to receiving compliments about my weight loss and they don't bother me hardly at all. I'm pretty okay with people constantly talking to me about my weight loss, although it still does get annoying at times...especially the "wasting away" and "you're disappearing." But usually when I say I'm done losing, they have nothing more to say.
One mom said I should be the one to talk with her son because it might come better from the "pretty, enthusiastic, young teacher." When she first said it, I was thinking oh, I'll have so and so across the hall talk to him then and then I realized she was talking about me. It was really sweet and made my week.
Today a teacher came up to me and said, "I can't stand to look at you anymore." He had a smile on his face so I knew it wasn't meant in a bad way. He explained how when he met me 9 years ago he never thought I had it in me to get so healthy. He saw a very happy person who enjoyed her food and was happy to live her life the way she was living. It lead to a really good talk about food addiction and the benefits of wls for some people.
I went up to one of our administrators after school to set up a time to meet next week because I couldn't do today as I was already busy. I thought she wanted to discuss the state tests coming up in May. She said, "no big deal I just wanted to ask you a few questions about your procedure...not that I'm really convinced it's for me, I just wanted to talk some things over." I look at this as a huge step and it makes me happy that I decided to tell others about my surgery.
Well, I guess that's all for now. Still chugging along. Still super happy with my sleeve and loving life. Can't wait to see what the next 7 months bring.
Weight Loss by Month:
Starting 238 pounds
July 2009 -16 pounds Pre-Op
August 2009 -21 pounds Month 1
September 2009 -15 pounds Month 2
October 2009 -11 pounds Month 3
November 2009 -13 pounds Month 4
December 2009 -9 pounds Month 5
January 2010 -4 pounds Month 6
February 2010 -6 pounds Month 7
Current -95 143 pounds
Over the last week, I've posted on forum threads regarding issues with my body and things I feel could use improvement. Now in the big picture, I understand these issues are not that important especially compared to the good health I now enjoy, they're more just little annoyances that only get to me at times.
One of the biggest issues is my skin. I know a lot of wls patients fear, dread, hate their lose skin and I am no different. Fortunately my arms are pretty okay and in most clothing, I look fine. But today I went swimsuit shopping to prepare for my upcoming trip (end of March) to Florida. It was a picture taken on that trip last year that prompted my search for a new weight loss plan, which eventually led to me discovering wls as an option.
Okay, back to the issues. My lower body (tummy, butt, and thighs) is disgusting. I'm not giving up hope that I can tone up these areas to some extent, but it's going to take a lot of work. In college I started buying swimsuits with skirts and always wore them due to bikini line razor burn and cellulite. Both of those things are still present, but much to my dismay, my saddle bags made any skirted swimsuit bottoms look pretty bad. I spent 3 hours shopping for a swimsuit and finally came to the conclusion that my body will never be perfect and I might as well just choose something and get on with it. When I'm at the beach I actually could care less how I look and hardly ever feel self conscious. It's all about the sun and water :biggrin0:
So here's the one I ended up buying. When I saw it in pictures, it wasn't quite as scary as the in the mirror, but still not the prettiest sight (I'm just loving that double butt I've got going on:-). I guess I had body issues when I was larger and those issues have not gone away just because I have shed over 90 pounds.
Okay, I started writing this post in response to someone's question on the main discussion forum and realized this was a huge ramble and went way beyond what she was asking. So instead I thought I'd post it here because it's more of a reflection and would probably fit better on my blog.
I told pretty much anyone that would listen before surgery, BUT I love to talk (I told anyone who asked about my fibroid surgery last year as well if they happened to ask or were around me for any length of time)! I share a lot about what I am thinking and pre-op, the vsg was pretty much what was on my mind all the time.
The thing that has been the most annoying for me wasn't really negative reactions when I told people (I can remember 1), but people (who I told numerous times) post-op wanting to constantly talk about my weight loss and how I was doing it. I have coworkers (and exercise buddies) ask me about my current weight, clothing size, etc. and want to know what diet and exercise plan I used to achieve such great results. I've already told EVERYONE about my surgery and when I explain again I get "oh" and don't think they are really listening and am sure to get the same questions again next week by the same people.
Another thing to consider when deciding to tell people is the whole "food police" issue, especially coming from those that are very supportive and excited for you. Today I had a colleague walk in and he saw half a donut next to my computer (we had a baby shower breakfast and yes, I ate a donut then and this was actually my 2nd that I went and got from the workroom for my lunch) and asked "what is that doing here? you are my hero," basically implying that I should never "slip" with my eating because I've been inspiring him to eat better and start exercising again. I just smiled, rolled my eyes, and asked if he needed anything else...he got the point, but I think this could get super annoying if it continues to happen (not that I plan on eating donuts daily).
In the end, I don't think it really makes a big difference whether you tell or not as long as you feel okay about the decision. I needed to tell people before surgery because it was a way to process my decision and I just like to gab. I've told people after (except my tap class) because I'd already told so many. For the most part everyone is really excited and happy with my results. Now I'm just hoping to be able to move past this surgery and weight loss and live a more normal life. It's not like I'm super small, but you'd think by the constant comments that I've done the most amazing thing ever. I just want to be normal and not have people focused on me because of this weight loss anymore.
This morning I'll be flying to WA State for a couple of days. It wasn't planned, so just yesterday I called a couple friends to let them know I'd be in town. Due to this trip not being about pleasure I wasn't even thinking about my weight loss until my best friend asked, "so are you an anorexic, skinny chick now? Will I even recognize you? are you a completely different person?" It was said in good humor, but it kind of took me by surprise. I still think overall I am the same person...just a little different. I'll post more when I get back about the reactions I get. I really hope it's all okay because I don't think I can handle any more drama.
This has never been a favorite holiday or anything (always felt kind of contrived), but I wanted to journal about how this one went food wise.
My husband and I had lunch around 11:30 AM before going to see Up in the Air, which I loved. I wouldn't say the honeymoon is completely over in terms of my sleeve, but it's definitely changing. I ordered an 8 oz. steak and ate 4 ounces with slight discomfort (ate too fast at the end so didn't realize I didn't need the last couple of bites until it was too late). In the past, like last month, I could only ever get in about 2-2.5 ounces of steak at a meal.
For dinner, we went to one of my favorite restaurants here in town. They only offered a Valentine's special 3 course selection menu. I got the spinach salad, shrimp and broccoli fettucini alfredo, and strawberry cheesecake. I also ordered my first alcoholic drink (orange crush-vanilla vodka, orange juice, and sprite). My drink came out and I took a couple of really tiny sips, but even by the end of the meal it didn't look like I'd had any because it was so full to begin with. I thought I did pretty well on the salad, but when she took it away it also looked untouched. This was the first time having pasta since surgery and I ate one noodle and three pieces of shrimp and was full (not uncomfortable-I wanted room for dessert). I love our waitress who knows how little I eat so came at the perfect time and took it back to be boxed, but the people next to us kept glancing over...oh well. Now cheesecake use to be MY THING before surgery (discovered I liked it for the first time in grad school and my weight pretty much stayed in the obese category after that). I hadn't had any since surgery and it was so good. I again was only able to eat 2 bites and the great thing is I was so satisfied. I decided not to have that boxed because I could see myself grazing on that all day long.
I still weighed in at 147 this morning, so nothing horrible happened I suppose. I ate more than I typically do on any one day and can definitely see why the first 6 months are called the "honeymoon phase." My sleeve tool is still there for me to work, I just think I'll have to be a little more diligent about working it now that I seem to be able to eat more.
Yesterday I had a major shopping trip and for once didn't go with anyone else so I could go to all the stores I wanted to, spend money on what I wanted, and not have to worry about accommodating others or wondering if they're judging me for what I bought or how much I spent :ack2: It also allowed me to explore some areas of my wardrobe that were lacking.
I found and bought the most comfortable pair of pumps. I've never worn pumps for work (only special occasions) or play because they always hurt my feet so much. Maybe now because I'm a little smaller, they are more comfy or maybe because I got a little higher quality shoe, but I'm so excited to have found these shoes. I got them in black.
Another thing I managed to do was finally shop in White House, Black Market. I've adored this store's window display in downtown Annapolis since I moved to the area 9 years ago, but figured nothing in there would fit and never ventured in. At the mall I decided to just bite the bullet and go in. Well, it's really not all that I was hoping for, but I did find a pair of cute jeans (in short :w00t:) and a cute top for my Florida trip next month. But isn't it funny how we build things up in our minds and then when we really look, it's not just that big of deal.
My last victory of the day was finding a fabulous dress for Valentine's Day. I had already purchased a red dress in January, but it's sleeveless and even with a cardigan I still only have sandals to wear with it, so it's a no go with our current weather. It's sort of like this, but with pink and black instead of blue and white. I can't wait to wear it with my new black pumps!
I was given some devastating news Tuesday of this week that has pretty much set me on an emotional roller coaster ride. Being off work due to the weather all week hasn't helped because I've had nothing else to take my focus.
BUT the good news is I never turned to food for comfort. It didn't even cross my mind that I "deserve" this food or that because of the news or if I can make it to this point I should reward myself or plan a special meal, etc. It wasn't until last night that I even realized something was different. As an early post-op, I remember going through a mourning stage when the sleeve wouldn't allow me to use food as a comfort friend to heal emotional and physical pain. I guess I can say that I truly look at food now as a source of energy rather than a friend. This is not to say I don't have cravings and sometimes make the wrong decisions (eating chips, grazing all day long, etc.), but my relationship with food has changed completely and I couldn't have asked for more from this procedure.
Over the last couple of days I've done nothing but graze on food on and off all day long between my bouts of productivity. I don't know what it is about snowy, wintery weather, but it seems to make me feel like I have to shovel as much food in as possible. We've been out of school since last Friday and it looks like we might be out for a couple more days (new storm due to come in tomorrow afternoon) and I really need to get it together.
If the food intake wasn't bad enough, I'm hardly getting in any exercise. Last week we only had Jazzercise 1 day due to snow from the previous weekend. I did manage to get out and take a 45 minute walk this morning and shoveled for an hour Saturday and an hour Sunday, but it doesn't compare to my normal level of daily activity. Tomorrow I plan on going to the gym with my husband in the AM and then practice my audition routines in the PM. Hopefully this helps, but I don't think it can counteract the horrific eating I've allowed myself to do.
Guess I just needed to vent about my lack of willpower:-(
Well, I live in the mid-atlantic region that now finally on the end side of an enormous snowstorm (my county is actually still under a blizzard warning). Due to this I am homebound and thought this would be a good day to accomplish some things.
First I started the huge process of cleaning out my closets, dresser, and laundry room (where I also store a lot of clothes). With the help of some others on here and a phone conversation, I decided it was time to get rid of my 14's. I even got rid of most of my 12's (saved one pair of jeans that still fit great) and quite a few of my 10's. I've only gotten through half of one closet and a couple bins from the laundry room and my jeans drawer, but I feel so much better. I took the time to try on every single item. So here is a picture of the half of closet I did. I usually prefer to wear more spring and summer colors, but now there is a definite lack of color in the wardrobe I have left. I also usually do not hang my jeans, but my closet is looking so bare:-(
About an hour into the closet organizing project, my husband wanted to do another snow shoveling round outside and since I didn't help with the first one, I got dressed and went out to help. I again am amazed at how much better my life is since I've had this surgery. I was able to shovel so much and felt sort of bad about how before losing this weight I never had energy to do much around the house or with my husband.
Overall, a very productive day!
Time sure has flown by these past 6 months. I feel so blessed that I was given this opportunity to get healthy and have ZERO REGRETS that I had it done. I've gotten a few private messages asking about my experience, so I thought this would be a great time and place to post a recap (as well as I can remember it). These thoughts are pretty random and just share the ups and downs of my journey so far.
I began my journey with researching wls in April of 2009. Attended a seminar with my surgeon in May, and set up my consultation visit for June 24. At my consultation I weighed 238 lbs. (down 3 pounds from my all time heaviest). I started my pre-op diet (modified Atkins) in July 2009, and had my surgery on August 4, weighing 222 lbs. Today I weigh in at 149 pounds!
My starting clothing size was a woman's 22-24. I am currently wearing a 6-8 and actually just bought yesterday a size 4 dress that fits beautifully (it obviously runs large). I never dreamed, planned, or hoped to be this small and still don't see this person. In the mirror I still see the same larger person with flaws and scars, but when I take pictures and compare them I can tell the difference.
My biggest struggle as an early post-op was with protein consumption. I was lucky to get in 30 grams of protein per day the first month out (some days I did well, but not consistently). I had a very difficult time finding protein drinks that I could tolerate. I found Chike Orange Cream and thought it tasted pretty good, but early out it would give me such bad cramping. I then found Bariatric Advantage Sangria flavor around 3 weeks post-op and did pretty well sipping one each morning.
Another struggle I faced (and still do to some extent) was with constipation. There was one time that I was constipated for like 8 days. Adding in apples and spinach seemed to help in that area.
Around 3-4 months post-op I decided to try to lose the remainder of my weight following a more balanced diet...up until that point I was pretty much sticking to no more than 30 carbs per day. The weight loss definitely slowed down when I upped the carbs, but for me it was okay. I figured if I could lose weight following a more balanced diet, I wouldn't have to worry so much in maintenance about gaining much weight back (who knows if this will actually be the case). As of today, I am still 1 pound away from my goal weight and if I don't hit goal in the next couple of weeks, I plan to low carb it for a while.
One of the BEST things I think I did during the post-op process was to establish a good, solid exercise routine. Each day from 1 day post-op, I walked A LOT. During the first month I walked the boardwalk and built up to 2-3 miles per outing. When I was cleared for exercise (4 weeks out) I started back to Jazzercise and signed up for water aerobics. The water class did not work out for different reasons, but I stuck with Jazzercise and by two months out was attending 5 days per week. I have now added a tap class (my favorite) into my schedule and have cut back one day of Jazzercise to accommodate. Each month I notice myself getting stronger and capable to do more (my energy levels are through the roof) and I feel I owe this to the exercise routine I've got going on. During this last month, although I haven't dropped much weight on the scale, I've definitely noticed myself toning up a lot more. Again, I attribute the exercising to this.
I feel so blessed that I have this tool and just want to say again, I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!!
My audition to become a Jazzercise instructor is less than a month away. Today they offered a 2 hour class to work on movement technique for us trainees. I ended up spending an extra hour after that to work on certain moves, so spent a total of 3 hours exercising. I am so sore!
I'm also starting to wonder if I might need to wait until April or June to audition. For the most part, my movements were okay...the main trainer walked around the room and gave us immediate feedback. BUT I had a lot of difficulty with keeping up with the proper intensity. I know it didn't help that we had to repeat many of the most intense parts multiple times. The problem is that for the most part I was working as intense as I could and it still wasn't enough.
In two more weeks we have another one of these training sessions and our instructor said she'd let us know if she thought we might want to hold off until a later audition. I know that each week I'm building more muscle and getting stronger (I'm quite proud of how far I've come with strength and endurance since November when I had my movement screening), I just don't know if I'll be where I need to be by mid-February. I also know there are things I can do to build my strength/endurance, but don't want to push my body any more than I currently am, just feel I'll get stronger with time.
So we'll see if I audition in February or wait until April or June. But, I am very proud of myself for making it this far and know that I will audition eventually. Today was just a needed wake up call.
SIX :thumbup: I went back to the little boutique in my town and found a skirt I wanted to buy before Christmas was on clearance for 60% off. BUT they only had a size 12, 6, and 2. The 12 was a little lose before so I took it and the 6 to the fitting room. I tried on the 12 and it was lose, but not too much so I figured the 6 wouldn't fit at all. Yet it did!!! It's pretty tight, but I could definitely wear it tomorrow (my new rule for buying something).
Excuse the clutter and face/hair...it's been one of those days.
I'm almost to my 6 month mark and this is typically where (in the past) I start to lose dedication/motivation to living a healthier lifestyle. THANK GOD I have the sleeve! Because this last week all healthy eating pretty much flew out the window. I was like a bottomless pit and did not fill that pit with the good protein I should have. Both Thursday and Friday I bought a bag of chips from the vending machine AND yesterday bought a bag of candy from their as well and had nachos for lunch.
I could sense it coming too. That's why last weekend I called to make an appointment with Jenny Craig. I realized that I do not have time/desire to cook (it was so different when I was off work this fall--I used my cookbooks, planned out and made meals, etc.) when driving 80 miles round trip for work and 30 miles round trip for exercise. I'm going in this afternoon just to pick up some food...I explained about the wls and how I just wanted access to their food and they seemed fine with that. I know frozen, processed foods are not the best, but for right now I need the ease and structure. I figure one meal per day will last me for breakfast and lunch and then I'll buy a couple more for dinners during the week. I like these better than the ones sold in the grocery stores and they have a whole lot less sodium.
On the other side, I'm still keeping up with my exercise routine, but it's getting harder. My body has been so exhausted. One night I got home and could barely move, but made myself get ready and drive the 25 minutes to class. It really helps that I made the goal of becoming an instructor because that is what keeps me going right now. I knew I was expected to teach a couple of routines so I had to be there.
I WILL get passed this 6 month hurdle (still two weeks to go) and come out victorious because of this great tool! I even managed to lose a little this week, down 1.5 pounds since Monday, so I guess the extra calories aren't bad, I just need to make them healthier calories.
So this morning I had my Jazzercise class and one of the instructors watched me to provide feedback (my audition is in 5 weeks). She told told me I need to work on the intensity--kicking it up a notch--when doing the heavy routines. One of my biggest concerns all along has been that although I can do the routines fine, I've danced off and on my entire life, my strength isn't where it should be.
I really need to add more weight training into my program...so today we pulled one of our tv's from the basement to the living room (I wasn't using it there because we have tile and it's so cold) and hooked up the Wii Fit. It's been soooo long since I'd been on it. I'm committing myself to using it everyday for the next 5 weeks and 15 minutes 3 days per week with my stability ball working on my core.
The most amazing thing happened though, it read my bmi as NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm attaching a picture and will put it into my profile as well. I'm not counting it for really being at goal because my bathroom scale matches the one at my surgeon's office (well it's actually 2 pounds heavier) and their scale reads heavy, so I like that mine does too. It was just so cool to actually see a normal bmi :thumbup:. I know I'll be there for "real" this month if I pump it up a notch.
Today I had a gyn appointment. When the nurse took me back to get my weight she moved the 50 pound weight to 0, thinking I weighed under 150 lbs. :thumbup: She did have to move the 50 pound weight over again, but I was wearing my jacket (it was so cold, I wish I had taken it off--I could have had a weight under 150 on their scale).
At Jazzercise tonight I weighed in on their scale and it read 151.4 lbs. Even though it's not my scale and doesn't really count, I can't believe actually weighing in the 140's is an actual possibility for me. It completely blows my mind!!!
Not everything is roses and sunshine though. Although my weight loss has slowed down (I lost 9 pounds in December-less than any prior month), my lose skin is getting worse. Maybe it's just finally catching up with me. My arms (triceps) are so flappy...I've made a decision to start using 10 lb weights when I exercise. The upper part of my tummy has a lot of lose skin as do my upper inner thighs. BUT, I'd take these issues over being unhealthy and fat any day.