Sooooo i just looked at my blog and see it's been like 5 years since I posted!!!!! WOOOOOOWWWW!!! So if i wrote everything that has happened in those 5 years this would be like 8 pages long, so i will make it short as possible. I met my goal size of a 12 within 11 months of having my band. I was good at maintaining for like 2.5 years. And then my band and i started fighting more and more. Between life, band slippages, emergency unfills, relationship changes and the death of my mother i have basically gained all my weight back. I am back to a size 16 and my original size preband was a 20. I have changed jobs and now am in the process of getting my band removed and revised to a vertical sleeve. I have had many emotions about this from embarrassment, shame, anger, etc. I was self pay for the lap band, but my current insurance does pay for the surgery.
I was submitted for the removal of my lap band and revision to a sleeve and was DENIED!! To say I was devastated is putting it mildly. I am in the process of having my doctor submit further explanation of why it is medically necessary to remove my band.
This time will be different. I will be going to support groups and doing thing before that i hated like actually tracking food and gym times.
I'm pretty sure no one even follows this blog anymore, but i am keeping my youtube blog up to date!
Thanks for stopping by!
ok my anniversary will be may 20th! my goal was to be in a size 12 top and bottom(those of you that follow my blog, know how that's been going). well today i got a pair of size 12 jeans in the mail i ordered and tried them on just to see. OMG THEY FIT! now they are snug, but still comfortable. I COULD JUST CRY! i cant believe i made it and before my year! YEAH ME!!!!!
OK this will be brief cuz I don't have my laptop...ugh..but u u can go to my you tube page and see my video for today.
Lost 40 pounds.went from size 20 to 12..shoe size from 9 1/2 to 8...
Many nsv's..would do it again in heartbeat..thanks for al ur support!
Sorry so brief but typing on my tablet is annoying..lol
i have been going back and forth on rather i was gonna blog this today, but i must own up to my failures as well as my successes. well i am going in for a fill today. i got on the scale and it has been slowly creeping up. today it said 210!!! i had gotten to 202..that was from february till now. to some that may seem like not a lot, but mentallu to see that second number as a 1 and not a zero just sent me into a mental place i dont need to be. i just cant believe i let it go this far. i take full responsibility for my weight gain. yes i still was in the gym but my eating habits have become less than desirable..ok let me not sugar coat it..i was down right wrong. now i know i need a fill, but i found myself in the past few weeks thinking..it didnt matter what i ate cuz i was gettn a fill and i would just get back on track then. this is the same thinking that held me captive at a size20!! now my 12's still fit, but i know it's only a matter of time before that changes.
i think i blogged this to show myself that even though i am one year post op i still have some mental changing to do when it comes to my weight loss journey. i thought that one year out it would be a walk in the park. i long for the day that i dont have to make a conscience effort to always think about what i am eating for the day. i long for the day that my weight is not always on my mind..but i dont think that day will ever come.
so i've come to accept that my way of life is to be constantly aware of my weight and food intake.
jennifer
Ok so i went in for the unfill on Friday. Glad to know that I dont have a leak and everything is where it's supposed to be. As of this morning i am down 15 pounds since my fill 2 weeks ago(tomorrow). i still am just able to get in liquids, so i have been living off egg drop soup. i dont have an appetite, but every time i try something with more consistency i get stuck after a few(and i do mean few) bites.
My question is to those who like their band tight, how do you do it? I can barely get in my protein, but this is my focus..i'm praying that since the weather has cooled off some it will get better. HELP I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS GOING TO GET BETTER! i cant go in for another unfill as i am self pay and i just paid $250 2 weeks ago....is there a chance my band will loosen on it's on in the next few days?
Ok so i went in for my 2nd unfill(or so i thought it was my second one), long story short, my doctor was either zoning out, sleepy or suddenly went deaf! last friday instead of taking out .5cc he put 5cc in for a total of 1.5ccs!!! way too much for me. well he took out.8cc which gave me a fill of .2ccs, i have heard that when you are close to the green zone very small amount will get you back in the green zone. well i guess that is true! so needless to say i had loast 18 pounds in those 2 weeks and so far i've gained back 5, but TOM just got here too. i knew that was coming so i'm tryn not to be too upset. but i'm back in the green zone and back on my grind. i'm still in onederland and i dont ever plan on leaving!!!
ok so i went in for my fill on monday (the 25th).. i had gained 8 pounds since my last unfill in march. i am really tight now. i can eat solid food, just very little..i mean like 4-5 bites(not sure how many ounces). my appetite is totally gone for the most part and i lost 10 pounds in the first week after the fill. my question is do you guys think i need a slight unfill cuz of my rapid weight loss or do you think my body has just been shocked back into loosing?
Ok so my new goal was to be in a size 14 by feb 14th. I decided to go to the mall this weekend and pic out something cute in a 14 to see how far i had to go. well lo and behold everything i tried on was 14's and they fit!!!! I was soooo shocked! no spanks, no girdles, just me!!!! wow i'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and believing i can make my goal of a 12 or 10 in one year! wish me luck!!!
i have been banded 9 months and i'm still learning to work with my band. since my last fill i have been real tight, but still able to eat. what frustrates me is the not knowing. last night i wanted some spaghetti , so i made it and was able to eat about a cup of it. ok that was fine, well i took the same spaghetti for lunch today and was barely able to get in 2 forks full. i wish i could look inside my body and know before i try to eat something if my band is going to cooperate. and when i order food out at a restaurant or fix my plate at home i still get portions like i ate pre-band. I KNOW GOOD AND WELL THAT I CANT EAT IT, but i cant seem to make that mental switch to stop doing that. am i the only person struggling with this.
Are there signs my body is giving me that i'm missing that will tell me if i will be able to eat? HELP!
ok so i made my goal of a size 12 in my one year since i was banded. and it seems like i lost my drive. ugh...last week was the first time in over a year that i only worked out 2 times versus 4 and i was just being soooo lazy. i cant loose my focus and start gaining weight back. ok so today i went to the gym and got back on track..i admit it was a little bit of a struggle, but i stuck with it. i'm praying that that lazyness was a one time fluke. anyway i finally uploaded my after pics..yeah me!!! well although i havent hit onederland yet!!!!!! i'm still shooting for my new goal of a size 10 by my bday in august. i gave myself plenty of time becuz really anything after this size 12 is icing on the cake. OK SO I'M BACK FOCUSED!! full steam ahead.
oh i scheduled a small fill for june 23rd cuz that's my next off day when my doc is in the office. sometimes i think i need a fill and others i dont. so for right now i will keep the appoinment, but cancel it if need be.
jennifer
I can't believe it has been a month since my revision surgery. What a month it has been. This recovery was so much harder than when I got my lap band. I lost 9 inches and 26 pounds since my pre op liquid diet. I got sick 2.5 weeks post op! OMG that was so horrible! To have to cough with my stomach still recovering was really bad. I had a burning sensation over my largest incision that would bring me to tears. My surgeon told me that the burning was most likely do to a nerve that was caught in a suture and that it would go away once my sutures dissolved, which could take 3 months. If I couldnt take it he said we could do a nerve block! ummmm no! Literally the day after that appointment the burning stopped and has never returned!!!!! I started back in the gym per his orders. I was only released to do cardio so i'll do that the first week and slowly add in weight training. All in all this has been a kinda rough recovery, but I dont regret it!!!
Ok i'm probably gonna be late for work but who cares. I FINALLY HIT ONEDERLAND!! i thought i did yesterday but wanted to make sure today and yep 199!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was a long haul, but now i'm here. i believe i can make my goal in1.5 months!!!!! thanks for all the encourgement guys...ok gotta get to work!
Ok so in the past few weeks i have been back and forth between twoderville and onederland..ugh!!!! SO frustrating. i've talked with a few people and i have decided that i am not gettin enough protein..so i have decided to up my protein and change up my exercise routine. i'm praying this will jump start my losing again. i dont do well with counting calories or myfitness pal..i'm just being honest. so i pray this is what i need to kick this thing into high gear again.
Went shoe shopping...I normally wear a 9 1/2...today I was able to buy 8 and 8 1/2!!!!!!! Totally forgot the feet would shrink..and wasn't expecting that much:-)
I finally went to Lane Bryant to get fitted for bra's. I"m so sad that the girls are disappearing! UGH! one effect i didnt want. well anyway she helped my find my right size and she asked how i was losing weight and i gladly shared with her about my lap band. She thought it was great. She asked me what size i wore now and i said 12's/ she told me you are too small for anything in our store! I COULD HAVE KISSED HER! never in a million years would i ever think someone would say this to me. And normally i woiuld reward myself with food, but this totally motivated me to hit the gym as soon as i left the store! WOW that felt sooo good!!!
I am so frustrated. I have been looking at onederland for about 3 weeks now. it's soooo close i can taste it. i havent changed my routine that has caused me to loose thus far and recently had a small unfill. i just cant seem to get the scale to hit 199! i stay jumping between 201 and 204. WTH! it's so frustrating cuz i'm so close. once the scale even said 200 so just knew the next time i got on it was gonna be 199. NOT! just not sure how to make this stupid scale move. any suggestions?
Ok so it's almost been one year since i was banded and i have been video blogging on my phone. i was torn as to if i was going to ever post them. well i decided about a month ago that i would. then realized i had no idea how to post them from my phone to my computer.....lol. well duh! i finally realized yesterday that i have an app on my phone. LOL (yeah me and technology arent' the best of friends. ) anyhow i started posting yesterday. i have about 20 videos i think but i 've just started posting so i have about 8 up thus far.
feel free to check out my blog on there. my name is jennypoo6043....just wanted to share my experience with others and hopefully help someone along the way.
i cant believe the number of women that have reached out to me for support from this site that i talk to or text. i've found some friends all over the country that i would have never had the chance to meet had it not been for LBT! i would love to plan a reunion one day somewhere with everyone i've spoken with, but for now i'll settle for this.
thanks guys and feel free to leave comments on you tube.
jennifer
Just wanted to update you guys that I was finally approved for surgery on Feb 10th! I had my pre-op appointment today and my surgery is scheduled for March 14th! To say Im excited is an understatement. I am so grateful for another shot at getting my health together!
Ok so my one year anniversary is quickly approaching and right now i'm hovering around a 42 pound lost. my goal was to be in a size 12 top and bottom..if you've been following my blog then you know where i stand with that. so i bought another size 12 jeans but they were petitie and i figured that just meant shorter, but i couldnt get them past my thighs either(but could put on a 12 skinny jeans..tight but got them on and buttoned) WTH!!! i am so frustrated with the whole jeans thing. when i started my journey, my doc told me most patients lose half of their desired weight in the first year, sooo if i go by that i am well ahead of schedule, but if i go by the goal I set for myself...doesnt look like i'm going to make it..ugh! so my question is if i decided to stop stressing about the jeans and be content with fitting 12 dresses and tops..and L scrubs and L tops..would i be a quitter. one one hand i feel like i am and on the other going by my doc's standards i've done great.
what do you guys think? HELP!!!
ok so i finally hit onederland and then BAM..stupid TOM and i'm back in the 200's. I know it should go away when tom leaves, but i was so pissed. anyway. i went to the mall today to get a pair of size 12 jeans to prayerfully get in on may 20th my one year anniversary. i just wanted to try them on and see how close i was to puttn those suckers on. well once i got home i realized they were skinny jeans, which means they are even tighter. so i tried and tried and i layed across the bed, AND GOT THEM SUCKAS ZIPPED, now when i stood up i had this huge roll of fat sitting on top, but i got them zipped. now would i wear them like that. ummmm no, but i was just happy i got them zipped. it's gonna be a lot of hard work for about a month and a half to get in them comfortably, but we shall see. if i can find another pair of 12 jeans on sale that are not skinny jeans i'll be totally content with that.
I just looked and realized i haven't blogged since july i think. wow and i have nothing really exciting to say now. i did make my size 16 for my bday in august and that's where i still am today almost 3 months later. i have had 4 fills and 2 unfills. let me tell you being too tight is a nightmare. i was too tight for 2 weeks(long story about getting into the doctor) and lost 9 pounds, great, but once i got unfilled those 9 pounds came back so fast it made my head spin. now my band is so loose i feel like i dont even have one.
i cant get back into my doctor until dec 5th for a fill. i think i know now i need to be between 7.5ccs and 8cc for my green zone. after those 9 pounds i have just been gaining and loosing the same 2-3 pounds like i was before my 4th fill. my goal was to be in a 14 by thanksgiving, but that's obvioiusly not happening. my only saving grace is that i still go to the gym 4 days a week if not for that i think i would gain all my weight back. am i not eating 100% right now and i know i'm not. i've fallen right back into almost all of my bad eating habits. i just want dec 5th to hurry and get here so i can get back on track. i have friends that say well since you dont have the right filll right now is when you have to exercise self control. WELL WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT INSTEAD OF PAYING $12K FOR A SURGERY I DIDNT NEED WHEN I CAN JUST USE SELF CONTROL!!!!!! ugh! i regret telling some people I have the band now. i am so afraid of going thru thanksgiving with my band like this. i am going to take my appetite suppresants with me cuz i cant trust myself and force myself to drink plenty of water! Sorry for this cry baby post, but i needed to get it out my system. Thanks for reading whomever decides to read this.
jennifer
Just wanted to drop a quick note. I got my unfill last monday and so far so good. it takes me about 4-5 hours before i'm "hungry" and my portions are controlled. needless to say I still am figthing that 1-2 last pounds to get to onederland. however i went shopping yesterday because i needed an outfit in a specific color for a womens conference. well i went into a little cheapy store and asked where the size 12's were since i saw the plus sized section started at size 14. she told me in the junior/misses section. I JUST STOOD THERE FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY. ME GET CLOTHES OUT OF THE JUNIOR.MISSES SECTION. my heart started racing. i know this sounds crazy but i was totally freaked out for a minute. I HAVE NEVER BOUGHT CLOTHES ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THE PLUS SIZE SECTION. so when i bought everything from that side of the store it was soooo weird. i was happy but it was so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that i could. i even bought a tank top in a medium from that side of the store. ok just wanted to share that experience right quick. hope all is well with everyone.
s/n from our conference. WHATEVER IT IS...LET IT GO!!!
peace and blessings
jennifer
Ok so my new goal was to be in onederland by VDay. well that's not going to happen. In this past week I got sick(on antibiotics) and TOM was here, hence I picked up a few pounds. Having TOM and being sick made my band super tight! ugh! on another note I bought a size 12 shirt yesterday and it fit nice. I'm sure it was due to the way it was made, but hey it was a 12 and i'll take that. I'm really trying not to be obsessed with the scale again and focus on my actual clothes. it seems if the scale is moving down then my clothes stay the same and vice versa. they just never move simutaneously..ugh! but still happy with my band. sometimes i think i need a slight unfill and then i think i'm fine. my band is so fickle! ugh! does anyone else deal with some days thinking your too tight and then thinking it's just perfect?
Sooooo I finally got approved for my revision from lap band to VSG!!!! I am soooo excited! I have my pre op appointment this wed. and I will have to speak with the NUT, anesthesiologist and my surgeon. I am hoping my surgery date(which i wont know till wed) is in March!!!
Ok I know i posted this yesterday, not sure what happened to it, but hear goes again.
I've been checking my cell phone like crazy waiting for my company to call me and tell me if I have a job in 2 weeks since my current contract ends in two weeks. I see that I have missed a call from the surgery center. I check the VM and they said they have to reschedule my surgery from Fri(20th) til Monday(23rd)! WTH!!!!OMG!! I went into my supervisor's office and balled my eyes out. Couldnt do that to long as my patient was waiting on me. I went and found a friend of mine and she said a quick prayer for me. Well minutes later I went back to my desk only to find another VM from the surgery center! MY SURGERY IS BACK ON FOR FRIDAY!!!! THANK YOU JESUS! God answers prayers and I needed this one answered quickly.
Secondly, I still hadnt heard from my company, finally they call and tell me the hospital has extended my contract till June 24th and possibly longer than that! THANK YOU JESUS!! Now I can go into my surgery with no worries about if i'll be employed in a week. Plus my supervisor know about my surgery and has agreed to manuever my patint caseload to accomodate my 10 pound weight lifiting restriction!!!!! I thank God for his favor, cuz technically she could say you cant do your job and we're ending you contract!
I'm still doin well on the pre-op diet! no cheats! but also no gym ...Tonight is my last night band free!!!! I will find out today the exact time of my proceudure today!
Hope all is well with everyone!!! MUAH!!!
