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Embarrassed!

jennifer1

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i have been going back and forth on rather i was gonna blog this today, but i must own up to my failures as well as my successes. well i am going in for a fill today. i got on the scale and it has been slowly creeping up. today it said 210!!! i had gotten to 202..that was from february till now. to some that may seem like not a lot, but mentallu to see that second number as a 1 and not a zero just sent me into a mental place i dont need to be. i just cant believe i let it go this far. i take full responsibility for my weight gain. yes i still was in the gym but my eating habits have become less than desirable..ok let me not sugar coat it..i was down right wrong. now i know i need a fill, but i found myself in the past few weeks thinking..it didnt matter what i ate cuz i was gettn a fill and i would just get back on track then. this is the same thinking that held me captive at a size20!! now my 12's still fit, but i know it's only a matter of time before that changes.

 

i think i blogged this to show myself that even though i am one year post op i still have some mental changing to do when it comes to my weight loss journey. i thought that one year out it would be a walk in the park. i long for the day that i dont have to make a conscience effort to always think about what i am eating for the day. i long for the day that my weight is not always on my mind..but i dont think that day will ever come.

so i've come to accept that my way of life is to be constantly aware of my weight and food intake.

 

jennifer



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Here's the difference between now and when you were a size twenty, even though it took a little bit of time, you are able to say, "Yes, this is my fault, but now I'm going to fix it before it becomes a big problem." How many of us never said this to ourselves for years and then when a big defining moment came along (not fitting on a roller coaster ride, not being about to keep up with kids, not fitting on an airplane, getting a comorbity, or a doctor just calling you out on your weight) figuring it out. Sometime you must take a step or two backwards to be able to really and truely figure out what you are feeling and where you want to be in life. You've already hit rock bottom, you're not even close to that right now. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

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You will get this and you got it! It sounds like your doing great and to me you realize whats the issue is. I too have come to the realization that its me and I need see where it is I have the biggest problems...and I am...so here is to us!! You are doing great!

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thanks for the encouraging words ladies! according to the scale at the doctor's office i gained 7 pounds since march. i was already for my doctor to say something, but he didnt. he told me i looked great! whew! so now that i got another filll i'm back on track!

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Hang in there Jennifer. I know what you are feeling. My weight seems staled and then it creeps up a numger or two and I get all depressed. I haven't had the time to blog since summer started and my kids have been home. It is harder with them off from school and always eating everything. I I got down to 196 about 3 weeks ago and now back at 200. I want the 1'S BACK. Not so far away, just need to wait what I eat went I get all crazy with kids and things. Forget to pack my stuff and munch on theirs. Oh only a bite or two... but doing that a few times a day addes up So lets do this together and get back on track. We are worth it. I LOVE my size 12 jeans and don't want to give them up....until it for a size 10! I put all my size 22 thru 16's in a bag to give away. Actually took them out of house into shed. First time I got rid of them and it just put away til I needed again.. Felt good. So hang in there. You can do it. Clean slate... let begin again now.Suzie

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thanks suzbuni! i totally feel you on loving the size 12's! yes we can do this. i got a fill on monday and i was soooo sick yesterday, but i know it's cuz my body had totally slipped into old habits and was used to eating whatever, that when i went on liquids it was in shock. i think my blood sugar must have dropped seriously, i thought i was going to pass out. so since monday i'm down 2 pounds. my band is kinda tight, but i am gonna stick it out and get to that size 10 by august! yes we can do this, please keep me posted on your journey.

jennifer

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thanks suzbuni! i totally feel you on loving the size 12's! yes we can do this. i got a fill on monday and i was soooo sick yesterday, but i know it's cuz my body had totally slipped into old habits and was used to eating whatever, that when i went on liquids it was in shock. i think my blood sugar must have dropped seriously, i thought i was going to pass out. so since monday i'm down 2 pounds. my band is kinda tight, but i am gonna stick it out and get to that size 10 by august! yes we can do this, please keep me posted on your journey.

jennifer

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