Well, I went ahead and went for fill #7 and boy do I feel it. I had restriciton before, but now I really have it. I might even be too tight, but we'll see. I was tempted to go back and have him take just a teeny bit out, but I decided to wait it out until Monday.
I am up to 4.0cc's now in my 4.0 cc band. If I stay where I'm at, I don't think that I will ever need another fill. I'm about 20 lbs from goal, and I think this fill is going to take me there!
I will be on liquids for the rest of the day, and maybe tomorrow. I just want to be able to eat meat, so if by Monday I can't eat meat, I'll be headed back to the docs office.
Well, short day at work today, we should be getting off work at 2 or 3 today - YAY.
Menu today - LIQUIDS ONLY
Had another good workout last night. Woke up this morning and sure felt smaller, I thought I would go ahead and weigh. I was down just a bit from yesterday, but I swear I feel so much smaller. It must be the inches I'm losing.
Wt - 178.6
Tonight, I will workout my upper body and do 30 min of cardio. I am a cardio junkie these days. I love the elliptical because its so easy on my knees. It still hurts a bit, but not as much as the treadmill or even just walking around my house.
Monday will be my 19th month Band Anniversary and I'm hoping to be at 175. I'm hoping I have a 3 lbs loss thru the weekend. I know that is a long shot, but that is what I am hoping anyhow.
I'm so ready to be out of the 170's once and for good. The 160's Here I come!
This week has just sucked! I've not gotten my arse out of bed, I've been exercising super late at night, then not getting in bed until 12 or 1 am! I don't feel like I'm putting all my effort into my exercise this week.
I am off work Thursday and Friday, so this should get me back on track - I will get up and go exercise!
I will be taking my 8 week picture, my measurements, and my 5 month Band anniversary pics on Sunday. I'm anxious to see my results.
I am not seeing as big as results as some people I know who have done the BFL challenge, I think because I'm not eating right.
I'm eating healthy and good low fat clean food, however, I haven't been eating the 5 times a day as the BFL recommends.
After I complete this challenge, I will start another BFL challenge and my next challenge I might just focus on eating, and gaining muscle, this challange I'm focussing on losing FAT and watching the scales go down and making exercise a part of my life.
I know I won't be where I want to be in 4 weeks (the end of the challenge) - and probably won't be there in another 12 weeks. But I do think in the next year, I will be where I want to be and that is so exciting to me. I have never been this close to goal and know that I will make it this time.
Today is my 12th day post op. I am feeling really good now. There was one point I was thinking "what have I done to myself". I was not prepared for so much pain because everyone says how easy it was. Well, I guess everyone is different.
I made it to the gym last night, I didn't do much, but I did do a little exercise. I got on the treadmill for 20 min at 2.4 MPH and did .78 mile. I am starting it slow per my doctors instructions. I plan on doing 20 min all this week and hopefully next week I can move up to 30 min. I won't be able to do any weights for awhile, however, I plan on kicking some butt with cardio during the next 6 weeks.
I'm still eating very little, if any. I am having a hard time getting protein in and I am hoping once I get to regular foods it will be better. I ordered a cup of french onion soup from Paneras yesterday and that lasted me 3 meals. I just sipped on the broth and not the onions. It was a nice change from BROTH. yuck.
1 more day until I can have refried beans!!!!!!:clap2:
Well, I'm off to the gym..........
I logged my weight into fitday.com today and guess what, I'm no longer overweight!!!!! I'm in the "healthy range" and my BMI is 24.94, see below:
24.94
A BMI between 18.5 and 25 is considered healthy.
The healthy weight range for your height is between
111.2
lbs and
150.2
lbs.
Your weight is within this healthy range.
I'm doing a happy dance now.......
Woke up sick today, sore throat, eyes burning, just feel like dog poop. Anyhow, did not go the gym, but brought my stuff to work and heading down to the gym at lunch.
I have my lasik eye surgery on Thursday so I'm hoping I can get over this before then.
I've avoided the scales all week, I am just trying to live my life and make good choices. I do go for a fill on Friday, and I'm hoping that will jump start my progress again. Until then, the scale is my enemy. lol.
Even though my surgery won't be until probably January, I'm not waiting around to get on a good eating program. I am hoping to lose another 20 pounds by the time the surgery rolls around.
Today's menu:
Brunch (got up at 4:30 am to get a deal at a store, then came back and went to bed and didn't get back up until 11:00 am)
2 slices of roast beef, left over from dinner last night
unsweetened tea
Dinner
grilled bell pepper & onions
roast beef
No exercise today - but planning on getting back to the gym on Monday, or sooner
Wt this morning 235.2
I learned a lesson last night - don't let yourself get too hungry!
Here is the story:
I get home and just wasn't hungry, we were headed out the door by 6:30 to go to a meeting, our meeting was over at 9:00, we get home at 9:15 pm and I'm starvin'. So, I make myself a few shrimp, that didn't help, I grab some chips and make myself about 5 or 6 chips with some cheese on it and it kepts going from there, I don't even remember everything I ate. I just remember grabbing different things trying to satisfy my hunger. I just felt like anything I ate was not filling me up.
Moral of the story - eat something if you know it will be awhile before you can eat. I should have had something small before I left for the meeting. Some almonds perhaps, maybe a protein bar, something instead of letting myself get too hungry. I learned my lesson!
I didn't get to exercise last night because of the metting so I took last night off. But......Tonight - It's on! Right after my "Biggest Loser" show, I will be headed to the gym for an hour of circuit training/working the upper body and cardio at the same time.
Weight - didn't weigh this morning - just didn't want to face the scales after my late night eating.
I was surprised that I didn't have any reflux. Usually if I eat that late, I'm up all night with reflux. I think I've losened up quite a bit again. But my band flucuates so much, I think I will monitor it the next few weeks and see if it gets tighter again. I really thought this last fill would last me - but now, once again, I'm wondering?
I'm thinking also that I will never have that tight restriction everyone talks about. Don't get me wrong, I've got restriction, I can feel it, its just not as tight as I would like it. I would like the band to FORCE me to take small bites, to FORCE me not to eat bread, to FORCE me to chew, chew and chew. However, none of this happens for me. I eat regular bites of food, I can eat bread (but I chose to stay away from it), and I chew like I did before the band.
I will say every now and then the band gives me a reminder that it is there and I think, Oh, I better slow down. But for the most part, I forget its there.
I have found there is only one thing I can't eat - Hamburgers! No matter how small of bites, no matter, how slow, no matter what, it gets stuck. I have given up on ever eating a hamburger again, and I'm fine with that - they are loaded with fat and calories, so thank you my little silacone buddy for forcing me NOT to eat Hamburgers!
If this is it for me, if this is the most restriction I can get, then I'm okay with that too. I know that this restriction will keep me from gaining all my weight back. I do get full on a lot less food than I used to eat, so for that, I'm thankful. I just read about so many bandsters talking about how they can't eat this, or that, and how they have to slow down and chew chew chew or they PB.....I've only experienced this a limited amount of time, and that is usually right after a fill. It last a day, sometimes 2 weeks, and it has lasted a month before, but it always leaves. PBing is something I rarely, if ever do. I can't even remember the last time I PB'd.
I'm losing count on how many fills I've had. I keep it updated in my journal so I can remember, but I thinks it like 16 now, or maybe even 17. It makes me wonder if I really do have a leak? My doc has tested it and says I don't.
Speaking of doc, I go see my band doc tomorrow. He just wants to see how I'm doing after almost 3 years with the band. I think I will talk to him about this and see what he thinks.
Okay, I guess I've written enough in my book now, so I better get to work.........:confused:
Yes, I want it now! Its so weird, some days I have good restriction, other days or weeks - I feel like I can eat an entire cow.
Friday night we go out to dinner, I did pretty good, I had humus, and steak and a little cabbage. The steak I could only eat about 2 oz , it was really good, but I got full.
Saturday - did pretty good - no exercise, but besides that, did okay
Sunday - blew it big time - ate and ate and ate, it seemed I couldn't get enougth food. grrrrrr.
One week from today is my fill appointment. I'm really tired of fills, this will be my 10TH! I'm sick of them, I'm ready to hit the sweet spot and lose this freaken weight. I'm tired of yo-yoing - I've yo-yod all my life, I'm ready to be at goal!
Today my menu:
Bfast
yogurt, granola, coffee w/cream
snack
string cheese
lunch
string cheese, shaved turkey
dinner
salad
chicken with multi-grain wrap
Exercise today:
10:00 am - 15 min elliptical
3:00 pm - 15 min elliptical
8:30 - upper body workout
after workout - 4 oz protein shake
wt - didn't weigh today -
Yay - I finally get to move to mushy food! I'm so happy.
Yesterday my menu was the following:
Bfast - 1 poached egg, some grated cheese
Lunch - 1/2 cup of refried beans with cheese
Dinner - 1/2 cup malt o meal with a little splenda, and soy milk
Snack - 1/2 cup of refried beans.
I need to work on getting my water in, I need to work on getting my protein in.
Thank Gawd its Friday!!!!!!!!! I love Friday and today is even Payday, its my year end at work, I made my goal which means I get a 10% of my yearly salary bonus!! Yehaw!!!! I won't get it until February 22nd, but thats okay, I am spending it on our next cruise that leaves June 29th, 2008 to the Virgin Islands. I'm hoping to be at goal by then.
Wt this morning 168.6 - starting to drop the water weight!
The slight unfill did the trick, slept like a baby last night for the first time in weeks! No acid reflux at all. I wish now I would have had him only take out 1/2 of a 10th of a cc. It probably would have worked and I would probably have better restriction.
But whatever, I'm living with what I have now. I have restriction, just not as good as it was before the unfill. But I just cannot live with the acid reflux. I need my sleep! It was so bad it was coming out my freaken nose. lol.
Today's menu:
bfast
coffee with cream
toast & strawberry jam (HOMEMADE WITH SF)
Lunch
meatloaf (again, homemade and used SF barbque sauce I made)
salad
Dinner
chicken fahitas, no tortillia
orange sorbet that I made - SF
Wt today 147.4
Okay, I have to say, my butt looks so good today! I know, maybe thats weird to say but my butt and thighs are the worst part on my body.
I went to the bathroom and I noticed how good my butt is looking these days. I'm no longer worried about people snickering at how wide it is.
I am wearing my size 11 Jr. low rise hipster, cruel girl jeans today. I have a pink silky blouse on, its tucked in and a very cute belt and tan boots. I feel like I look as good as I feel good. Does that make sense?
Anyhow, I usually feel fat. I still feel like the 250 lbs woman I was last year, but today, I actually feel skinny. Its weird, somedays I feel fat, and somedays I feel skinny.
Today is a day I'm walking around with my head held high and know that I look good! :whoo:
Wt 234
Oh, its so hard to get back on track. I did so good with eating on Friday & Saturday, and partially Sunday. Then Sunday night, broke down and had some yummy cheesecake.
I brought my lunch to work today so I can stay on the LC Atkins track. I'm basically going to follow the Atkins plan until after I'm banded, then I'll do more of low fat and low carb.
Todays menu:
Breakfast
scrambled egg/cheese
3 slices of thin bacon
Lunch
Chef salad
Snack
LC yogurt
Dinner
Turkey breast
green beans
I tried to get up at 5:00 am to make it to the gym, just couldnt drag my fat butt out of bed, I went to bed too late last night and I needed my sleep. So, I plan on exercising tonight at the gym. - I MUST get back to exercising!
58 more days until my cruise and 18 pounds to go! I am a little frustrated this morning - I have been tracking my calories burned at the gym, I'm burning anywhere from 350 to 600 calories - and still the scale is not moving very much at all! I think it hates me, I really do.
Last night had a great workout - did about 35 min on elliptical (burned around 300 calories, also did 15 min earlier in the day yesterday, which I burned 145 calories - then did about 40 min of strength training - another 150 calories = 595 calories) I ate about 1100 calories -
I'm hoping something gives real soon, I can't take the scale not moving much longer! :cursing:Please scale, give me a 2 pound loss - I would love 3 next week. Won't you please?
wt - 178.3 (last friday it was 179 - .70 loss):crying:
Menu -
Bfast
1/4 of a colorado omlet from Ihop
Lunch
1/2 hamburger (no bread)
Dinner
not sure yet?
Exercise - will try and make it to the elliptical for 20 - 30 min today. However, leaving to go out of town this afternoon to see Kenny Chesney with my daughter :thumbup:
PS - I think TOM might come pretty soon, so hopefully thats the reason for the scale being so mean to me:cool:
Today I'm doing something I know I shouldn't - I'm just flying by on my menu. When you don't plan you plan to fail, as the old saying goes. I need to be careful with what I choose to eat today.
Here is my plan:
Bfast
QT coffee, iced
Snack
string cheese
Lunch
roasted chicken salad (going out to run errands and I will run by a local deli and pick this up)
Dinner - ground hamburger, small orange - weird combo I know, but I'm thinking this is what I will have
10:00 am - 15 min on elliptcial machine
3:00 pm - 15 min on elliptical machine
9:30 - LBWO at the gym
11:00 pm - be in bed and asleep - I know this probably WON'T happen, but thats my plan
My fill is next week, I'm SOOOOO ready for it!
Wt - Another day I didn't weigh! Yay!
I'm back from my week long stay in Miami. Yay! I ate bad bad bad. But only gained 3 lbs, so not too upset over it. I'm back on the wagon.
It's a sad day at work today, one of my co-workers commited suicide Friday after work. None of us saw it coming. He worked until 5 Friday, cleaned out his desk and went home and killed himself. His poor wife found him when she got home. Its so sad. I just can't imagine someone taking his own life, for what? He didn't leave a not behind, no one understands it right now. I just ache because we didn't know, what could we have done to help him? It's just so sad and makes me sad.
Just 22 more LOOOONG days until I'm finally banded.
My thoughts are racing around in my head. I'm freaking a bit today, I'm nervous, and I am so anxious to get this over with. I'm ready to start my pre-op diet, this way I know I am doing something to prepare for surgery.
I've been reading a lot on the "complications" board, and I have to be honest, It freaks me out a bit. I think the most thing I worry about is erosion. I read on one of the boards that 25% of banding patients will have to have thier band replaced or removed. Thats a pretty high number. But, i guess I'm hoping I'm the 75% that wont have to have anything done.
I'm just nervous about everything, I think the not knowing is scary. I know a lot about the band, but everyone is different, how will I handle th band? Will I be an accessive PBer? Will I not lose weight? Will I be a failure? Will I , Will I , will I? The list goes on and on. I just don't want this surgery to be another "diet" attempt. I am so sick of failing at every diet. I always do so good, I lose 20, 30, and even 70 lbs, and everyone goes on and on how great I look, then its like I wake up one morning and gain it ALL back. Why? I still haven't figured that out. Its like I eat one thing and I put on 20 lbs. I swear, I can gain 10 lbs in a night, and I'm NOT lieing. I've done it, I swear it.
I hope this time next year, I can reflect on my journey and say this was the BEST decision I had ever made. I hope to say I have lost 70 lbs, or 60, or even 50.
Scale this morning 229.2 (I'm about to throw the scale away, I promise.)
:dance: :dance: :dance: 21 days and counting! Yes, just three weeks to go until my new life begins.
The holidays are helping make the time pass, and beginning next week, I will begin all my appointments, so that will help.
I made it to the gym last night. Did 20 minutes on the Elliptical, and then 10 minutes on the bike.:clap2:
Eating has been good, now that the holidays are over. We do have a dinner to attend tonight, and they are making hamburgers on the grill, so I'll eat the meat, not bread. I think I will make some grilled veggies to go with meat - that will be my side dish.
Thursday night I headed back to the sleep study center for the test with my Cpap machine. I started off with a full face mask, I tried really hard to get used to the mask. But finally after much tossing and turning, I could not handle it and rung the bell for my tech. I told them I just couldn't do it. I felt like someone was trying to suffocate me, then I started feeling like I couldn't breath, and then I felt like the mask was making my face sweat (which it wasn't) They then brought me in a mask that was much smaller and didn't cover my entire face, it fit right underneath my nose.
Ahhhh, so much better. It was hard getting used to the air blowing up my nose, but I decided that I would do it. It is suppose to help you lose weight too, so I'm all about that! The night started off good, there was just a light air blowing from the machine. At some point in the night, I woke up to go the bathroom. I noticed the air coming out of the machine was much stronger than it was earlier, I ran for the tech to help me "untangle" the wires that were plastered all over my body and head. I came back and went right back to sleep. It turns out, they kept adjusting the machine thru the night to give me just the right amount of oxygen to make my sleep apnea disappear with the machine.
The tech came in at around 5:15ish to wake me up, they unhooked me and told me the results would be in either Monday (today) or Tuesday and they would schedule me to come back again to pick up the machine. I noticed as I was driving home that this was the first time I woke up without a headache. Anyhow, I went home and crawled back in bed for a few more hours. When I woke up again at around 8:30ish, my headache was back. I'm interested to get my machine and sleep with it and see if it cures my headaches or is just my imagination?
The benefits of having a cpap machine if you have sleep study are, I should feel a lot better sleeping with one, I won't feel as tired as I usually do in the mornings, and it should help me with my headaches. Also, the doc said that the oxygen will help speed up my matabolism and should help with weight loss - I LOVE THAT. I am really going to try and stick with the machine and see what happens. Also, my DH will love the fact that I won't keep him up snoring! Although I'm worried the sound of the machine might bother him, but we'll see.
In about a year, I will have to do another sleep study and if I lose weight, I should be cured from the sleep apnea.
Well, thats my experience with the sleep study test.........
M1 - Protein shake made with 6 oz of apple juice, daily 5 & pinnaple protein powder
M2 - Coffee with a little bit of whipping cream
M3 - 3 whole wheat crackers, 1.5 oz of salmon
M4 - Grilled, skinless chicken thigh, salad
M5 - Not good - dug into the SF cookie dough - ate 3, then had 2 minerature dark chocolate bars out of my candy dish. GRRRRR
Exercise - 20 min of Elliptical (HIIT)
Notes - wt 193.4 - I am having a hard time staying off the scales, I think its time to have DH hide them again. I am just so close to getting out of the 190's that I'm obsessed with the scales, I really need to see that 189 for sanity reasons. I cannot keep going on like this and still seeing the 190's! grrrrrrr. However, I will say that yesterday I had on a pair of capris that I bought last summer at this same weight, they were tight on me, well yesterday I tried them on and they are actually too big! So, I might be the same weight, but I'm smaller in inches.
Well, I took a break from my journal it looks like. But It's time to refocuss on it.
I had a mini vacation at the lake, ate too much and didn't get much exercise.
I've slacked in exercise for the past few weeks, its time to get back in gear! What am I thinking? My cruise is in 24 more days!!!!!! I am still fat as ever!
Wt - 177.9 - I've gone up a few pounds
Menu today -
Bfast
bowl of fresh fruit
Lunch
artichoke
nectarine
grapes
(weird lunch I know - but I've had the weirdest craving lately)
Dinner - Tuna
Exercise - 45 min on elliptical
I can't believe I only have 2 more days until banding! 48 hours to go!
This liquid stuff is about to kill me. I'm always hungry and I want to eat damn it! I am ready for surgery so I won't be hungry any more. My DH made fried catfish last night (he makes the best in the whole world!). Gosh, I went into the kitchn and there set a huge plate of it, so I ended up taking a piece. Yes, I cheated - AGAIN.
I've got to stick to liquids today, no cheating!:help:
Wt - 168.9
Did pretty good yesterday, I exercised, I did my cleanse, until last night. I ended binging a little. I ended up eating a salad, which was good, but then later that evening I ate some popcorn with butter poured over it - about 1 1/2 cups of popcorn. I also had some cookie dough. Man I need my restriction back!
I am not beating myself up or anything, but I'm just so discouraged without restriction.
I've got to just keep trying to make better choices. I will be done with my cleanse tomorrow, so I'll stick to it until then.
This might seem a little weird, however, it made me feel so good so I believe it is a NSV.
I was sitting at the red light yesterday, and I could feel someone looking at me, and I turned to the left, and there are these 2 young boys hitting on me. The driver was practically hanging out the pasenger window trying to get my attention.
Now, I'm a very happily married woman for 19 years, but let me tell you, it felt good to have these 19 yr old boys flirting with me. I know they would have just crapped thier pants had they known I was 40! LOL.
I smiled back and drove away..............
