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ladiJ's Blog
 

Post-Op Day 3 12/7/12 Home, Sweet, Home

Saw my doctor early this am who said I can start on liquids! If I could tolerate I could go home after lunch. For breakfast I took 2 spoons of beef broth but it tasted too salty to me. I drank the apple juice, it slid down easily, a sip at a time. The protein drink provided by the hospital which is a berry flavored, thin, almost juice consistency and a jello. It took me about an hour to get that down. I was determined to tolerate it so I could go home so took it very slowly. at lunch time I was provided the same tray. I took all my regular meds and my prilosec for tummy by mouth. I needed no pain meds since my last puch of the pain pump 24 hours before hand so they went ahead and discontinued my IV. Yea I was free from everything. They advised not to take a shower at hospital since the risk of infection. (you are always safer at home) and it was freezing anyhow. I threw my hair in a pony tail, I looked a hot mess, and put on my sweats and a large loose tshirt. I had been worried maybe my underwear, or bra or pain line would rub on one of my incisions but they did not. My incisions were covered with a dermabond and I could shower but was instructed not to rub. I was home by 3 pm and in the hot shower at 3:10 pm. I was so thankful to be back in my own bed. I watched tv from my recliner and tried out some fluids. For me the first day I was reluctant to attempt protein drinks. they seem thicker, so I started with apple juice, since I had already had it in the hospital. Gatoraide seemed a bit heavy for me that first day also. Still no pain and I was able to fall into my bed and sleep for 4 hours. After being awake every hour at the hospital this seemed like heaven. I continued to burp and hiccup after every drink helping to move gas. That evening I had a cup of chicken broth and kept my juice at the bedside constantly sipping. No pain, No hunger.
ladiJ

ladiJ

1
ladiJ's Blog
 

Post Op Day 1 : 12/6/2012

I was awake every hour on the hour while in the hospital, happily hitting my pain pump. I did not any real pain and was determined to keep it that way. My night nurse was great and brought me some swabs for my mouth as my doctor does not even allow ice chips until he sees you in the am. Around 4 am since I was awake my nurse asked if I was ready to get up and assisted me up and for a little walk around the unit. When I came back to my room I sat up in a chair for awhile and she brought my what can best be described as a microwaved package of thicker, larger. baby wipes to perform a bed bath on myself. I climbed back in bed and woke up 3 hours later. When I woke up my left arm felt cold and wet, turns out I blew my IV so no meds, fluids or my pain pump going meds were reaching me. The doctor came in as the nurse was attempting a new iv and said I could start on ice chips. YEAH!!!!!!!! The IV restart was unsuccessful but the nurse provided me with a large plastic container of BEAUTIFUL ice chips and small medicine cups. i was instructed to have one medicine cup if ice chips every 15 min while awake. The first four "cups" did not even reach my new sleeve because my dehydrated, gummy, mouth absorbed all that moisture. MY catheter was also discontinued and finally a nurse was able to get my IV started. It was time for my pain pump to be discontinued and I sniffled and hit it one last time for good measure. This second day I felt "gassy" and would burp and hiccup a lot which helped move the gas along. I didn't really walk the halls as I was freezing but I did get up several times to sit in the chair in my room and I walked back and forth to the bathroom every hour. Ice chips all day and night and they went down with no problem. No matter how tired I was I had trouble getting comfy and only managed to have a three hour stretch where I slept. Other than that I was awake every hour.
ladiJ

ladiJ

0
Kime-lou's Blog
 

I believe, I beleive, I beleive.........

When we are little we believe that anything is possible-- santa can visit every house in one night, the tooth fairy brings us money for our teeth, the Easter bunny, ect. As little kids we see the world full of wonderful possibilities just waiting for us.   However, as we grow we begin to loose the rose colored glasses and become jaded by the reality of the world we live in. Happily ever after doesn't exist and things aren't always perfect- now I am not say things can't be good because they can be, but not every moment of every day and not every relationship is perfect all the time.   As a kid I never imagined I would become so large. I was so small until I turned 5. As I began to gain weight I would ask my mom sometimes why I was fat. She would just say I would grow out of it, after all my cousin did. I accepted that and went on. Well puberty came and went as did the teen years and I was still fat. I never grew out of it. What I didn't know is that my cousin put forth a great deal of effort in her preteens to shed the weight- all I knew was that she went from fat to skinny in what seemed like a summer and became a beautiful girl. That wasn't to be my story.   Now that I have admitted that I have a food problem and needed help, got banded and begun my journey- it is hard to belive I will ever reach my goal. The first 5 months the weight seemed to fly off 45 lbs- awesome, but now the loss has slowed almost plateaued and I find myself begining to worry that I may never reach my elusive dream weight (140).   I know that I should believe in myself, my band, my doctor and nutritionist, but it's hard when every other attempt I have made to loose weight has failed. Realistically I know it is different this time, I am not on a diet with a fixed end date, I am changing my life style one day at a time. I am making new habits, healthy ones that in time I hope will stick. Some things have been easy like giving up pop (soda), not drinking with meals, drinking water, even eating less at a meal. Some things though haven't been as easy, letting go of my salty snack of party mix (that stuff is addictive and it is my major weakness), not baking so I won't eat the sweets, not eating steak (just doesn't work well with my band).   Slowly, but surely I am making a change to a better way of life that in time hopefully will become habit. However, there is still that little voice of insecurity in the back of my head saying you won't do it, you will gain all that weight back, you are destine to be a fat girl forever (insert menacing laugh here)!! I fight every day to squash that voice and to believe that I will make it. After all I have lost 45 lbs and I am moving more and eating less.   So for now I am going to keep saying I believe in me, until I do!!
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

1
AmySays' Blog
 

Ready or not... here I come!

The time has come! I check into the surgical center at 8:00 in the morning to be banded. Am I nervous? Well, I didn't think so, but I just realized I've chewed my nails to nubs today, so maybe a little, lol. A week ago I was a complete basket case. Now, I'm just ready to do it. I'm ready to get on with my life as a healthy person!   I thought I would have more to say here... and there would be some great epiphany that I would be able to share, but there's just not. I've lived most of my adult life as an overweight person. I'm ready to start unwrapping the layers from myself & find out who I can be without the burden of this extra baggage I've carried for so long.   So, here we go... see ya'll on the flip side!
AmySays

AmySays

3
Mission Slimpossible
 

Why hello there ONEDERLAND!

Yippee, yahoo!   I weighed myself this morning & there it was just starting at me. The scale actually started with the number "1". Let's forget the fact that the other #'s were 99.6. Who cares? It actually started with a "1"   It's probably been 10+ years since I've seen that. It felt so good that I even put on my size 18 jeans & they fit. A little snug in the tummy area, but you could actually tell that I'd lost 45 pds with them on. I actually had a male co-worker (who knows me well) tell me that he could tell I lost weight!!!!!   I'm excited & looking forward to hitting 190 in the next 6 weeks :-)
Domika03

Domika03

3
Maxxer48's Blog
 

Day 21 Post Op - So this is food?

So its been exactly 3 weeks since my surgery and I'm doing great. I've lost about 20 lbs in 21 days and Dr. says I'm right on track. I feel as normal as I did before surgery now, I have my full energy, and I'm able to eat mushy foods and allowed beverages with no nausea (I've never had any nausea anyay). I pulled a pair of Levi's out of the closet, ones that I could fit into 2 years ago, and they fit again. In fact, they're a little baggy. It's a great feeling and I can definately see a big change in the size of my face and feet.   I have to say that I've followed my Dr's diet to the T: only soup with no chunks and milk-like consistency, water, and some diet drinks (non-carbonated) for the first 2 weeks after surgery. By the time day 15 came around I would have killed for a solid piece of food. Biggest issues now are continuing to get 60oz of water in each day, and practicing eating small bites and chewing completely. As for the water, its not just the Dr telling me to drink it, but I've known for a long time that drinking to stay hydrated is good for anyone. The difference with the sleeve is that I have to sip water throughout the day. With the smaller stomach, I can't just wait til evening to start then try guzzling a quart of water. Plus, I'm a kidney stone factory and they say staying hydrated is one of the best thing you can do for preventing stones.   Saturday was my first experience with overeating with the sleeve. I'm finding that I must eat every 2-3 hours. If not, I get too hungry. I was at Jason's Deli and ordered the Tomato Basil soup and a small amout of hummus from the salad bar. But as I sat down to eat, I was concentrating so much on relieving my hunger that I forgot about eating slowly and chewing completely. Mistake! I began sweating, got a nauseous,dizzy feeling and a heartburn like sensation but without the burning. The feeling left in 5-10 minutes, and I thought I'd learned my lesson. Well, not so easy. This is one that I'll have to work on.   more soon... Joe P.S. Thank God insurance is covering most of this. Bill from hospital arrived today... $46,000 !!
Maxxer48

Maxxer48

5
ajtexas's Blog
 

Struggling

Do you admit when you are struggling?   Or eat wrong?   Or over eat?   Or do you just hide it??   I feel like I have been successful at my weight loss, I’ve lost 75 pounds in 10 months and I’m at goal. But, was I an A student the whole time? NO!   I slipped more than once during my journey. I had nights where I munched on peanuts and chocolate chips, didn’t measure them out so I have no idea how much I truly ate. I also had times when I ate more carbohydrates than protein and times when I ate so fast that I was PBing my food back up.   What I did do was be honest with myself. I tried to log everything in my food journal (I had to estimate some things). And I got back on the saddle as soon as possible.   Perfection is not required for success; my doctor told me if I could give 80% I would see results. And I did see results.   So to all of you struggling know that for every success story you read there are behind the scenes struggles, too.
♕ajtexas♕

♕ajtexas♕

3
buffalo716's Blog
 

Has anyone had a baby before a year post op

My husband would like to have a baby. I have had two miscarriages before my surgery the last one was really bad. I have PCOS and if I lose weight I have a greater chance to have a baby. Now that I'm getting smaller my husband getting more ready. I'm not even 2 months post op yet.
buffalo716

buffalo716

6
dylanmiles23's Blog
 

new purchases

I am finally coming into the technology world. I just upgraded my phone to an iphone. While at the AT&T store I saw they sell Fitbits. I have wanted one for a while but they are $100. They had them for $75. and I have balls and asked for it for less and they sold it to me for $50. Another new item I need to learn besides my computer. The salesman said the iphone has an app for the Fitbit. I am on my second laptop in about 8 years and still don't know how to work one. I don't work so I have no excuse for learning technology. Have a great evening all.
dylanmiles23

dylanmiles23

3
dltrautman1's Blog
 

Two days before surgery

Well - I have surgery in two days. I have been scrubbing my house spotless. Yelling at the kids to get their stuff done. Very thankful I am on the liquid diet for only 1 week. I did play soccer last night - it has been had while being on the liquid diet. I actually played 3 games. I made sure I stayed very hydrated. I haven't decided if I am going to play Wednesday night, the night before surgery.
dltrautman1

dltrautman1

1
stacylynn's Blog
 

one week post op & feelin' so much better!

here we go.... so thankful to b feeling so much better today. for some reason i felt worse when i came home from the hospital for the first 3 days....completely miserable.it was so bad i didnt even care if i was losing any weight, just wanted to not hurt :0( admittedly i have about zero tolerance to pain, so im sure many others dont have this experience. but..... im SO excited!! today is one week post op....just got on the scale & it says 239!!! yaaaah! looking forward to see how much progress i can make now that im actually feeling better :0) btw, anyone know how to update the weight loss ticker? duh...kinda' technologically challenged ;0) anyway, have a GREAT day everyone! :0)
stacylynn

stacylynn

10
FLORIDAYS' Blog
 

Boobs R Us

So I recieved a call from my plastic surgeon's assistant this morning.... I have my pre op appointment late this afternoon as my tummy tuck and breast lift is next Tuesday.... She wanted to remind me to bring in a picture of how I would like my girls to look after surgery. I told her I found a pic online and will bring it with me.   Of course what I didnt tell her was that it was hysterical doing it.... I have never looked at so many breasts in my life... I never realized how weird it was to analyze them, try to imagine how they will look on my body etc... And of course I had to incluide hubby in my quest for the perfect breast.... who really thought it didnt matter as long as I was happy. So he was no help. LOL   I narrowed it down to 2 pics of people who had lifts after weight loss, who were over 45, over 5'7 and about 157 lbs..... basically ones I thought looked natural and were about my size and shape... we'll see what the Dr says.   One more chapter in this fun journey.....
FLORIDAYS

FLORIDAYS

6
Kime-lou's Blog
 

Addiction

I went to school for and hold a degree in addiction counseling. You would think someone who has taken these classes, learned ways to help clients cope and recover from addiction could herself fight her own addiction.   Just like the difficulty people have admitting they are addicted to drugs and alcohol I had difficulty admitting I was addicted to food. Just like people who abuse drugs and alcohol try to validate their addiction I have tried to validate mine. But, the truth is an addiction is an addiction and there is validation for it, it is a problem that must be overcome in order for us to become a better more effective person.   I have been over weight since I was 5 years old. Before that I was very thin and tiny- everyone always talked about how cute I was. Then the month before I started school the pounds started packing on. Apparently this was the start of my emotional eating and it never went away. As each year progressed my waist line expanded. By high school I was wearing size 22 jeans and was picked on all the time. My self esteem was low and I spent a lot of time alone- the only lead to more eating. I would frequently eat behind my families back so they wouldn't know how much I consumed and then tried to block it from my mind.   As a senior in high school I had an accident that required surgery and then months of physical therapy. During that time I lost weight- down to 201 and a size 18. I remained at that size until the last 2 years when my weight balloned up to 247 and I knew something had to change.   5 high school friends have had some type of weight loss surgery with varying degrees of success, but all have managed to loose weight and keep it off. I decided that maybe this is what I needed to get control of my addiction.   Likely if I could have controlled my addiction I could have lost weight without the surgery, but I couldn't. I was a slave to food.   June 22, 2012 I had my lapband put in. The first week was hell - I felt like crap the entire time. Once I was back on mushy food I started to feel better and gain energy back. I began working out and counting calories and did great. I really felt like I had things under control.   In October my Grandmother passed away after a long illness. She was one of my best friends and always someone I could count on. During that time I stopped counting calories due to being away from home, eating things I didn't prepare, and not being where I could get on the internet (my family lives deep in the country of Virgina) and I also stopped working out. When I got back home I though surely I had gained - well low and behold I had lost 3 lbs- WOW. In my screwed up mind this gave me permission to stop working out and counting calories. I know- WRONG thing to do. However, I have continue to lose steadily, but I know this is not a good way to do things. I do move more to burn more calories since getting my fitbit, but I know that can't take the place of the workouts I was doing.   This passed weekend I had my first of serveral Christmas parties. I did pretty well, I help my portions down and ate only two cookies (my mom's homemade Christmas cookies - they are small tea cakes). My BFF's mom brought her homemade party mix and gave me a bag to go home. Here is the problem, this party mix for me is like putting a bottle of beer in front of an alcoholic. I love it- so yummy. She gave me a gallon zip lock bag of it. I brought it home and told myself I would only eat one handful a day. Well, it's been 3 days and half the bag is gone. I screwed up!!!!!   The salt content alone in this stuff had increase my water retention- I have gained 3 lbs since Sunday- which isn't possible since I am not eating much. (the party mix has been my breakfast and my snacks) I feel like my face is puffy- I know I am retaining.   I feel like crap, I can't believe I allowed myself to fall back in to a pattern that is negative. There are so many awesome people on this site who have been so strong and wonderful since surgery and are kicking butt. Why the hell did I think I could allow myself to do this and not have a negitive consequence- insanity.   So, today, I am back on the game. I am going to be accountable to myself. Back to counting calories, back to the workouts, back to eating only what I need to live. The party mix as much as it pains me, but go to the garbage.   This morning, I have had a Slim fast protein shake (not bad 180 calories and 20 grams of protein and taste like a yohoo). To my suprise I drink it two hours ago and I am not hungry. Now that I have retriction maybe I can do the shakes for breakfast. This afternoon I will get on my elliptical for 30 min. I WILL get back on track. I will not allow insanity to set in.   To those of you who have been my support and encouraged me thank you and I am sorry for allowing my old ways to creep in. Thankfully, I didn't allow them to hang around long enough to do any major damage.   Today I admit that I am an addict and I can not do this alone. I must be accountable to myself and others.
Kime-lou

Kime-lou

1
desertmom's Blog
 

Scale victory!

179.7 pounds this morning.   Eating off plan once every 2 weeks seems to help every now and then.When I was on Atikins if I stalled I would have a plate of spagetti bolognese and voila,the weight would drop.Should just be back on plan immediately the next day though.   Happy me!!!!
desertmom

desertmom

0
Adventures of Minnie and Me
 

Introduction to Minnie

Hello and Welcome to my very first Blog! I feel we have so much to catch up on, and at first I didn't really know where to start our first adventure. But I think I'll just begin with how Minnie and I met.   December 4th, 2012. (Yes, just 7 short days ago!!) I had a Vertical Sleeve done at 12:30pm in Gonzales, La. My Doctor, Dr. Andrew Hargroder, and the hospital staff were wonderful!   I met Minnie about 2 hours later! She was very uncomfortable and was letting me know it! After moving around and getting some gas out of my abdomen we both felt sooo much better. My son, Dominick, actually named "MINNIE". He said I have a "new" mini stomach! And from then on, Minnie, stuck! *smile*   Now, Minnie, is very bossy about everything that goes in. No matter what I would like to her to have, she has the ultimate say on EVERYTHING! What time, how much, how big/small, cold/hot, ummm, yea, I'm not in control at this point! LOL However much I would like to think that I am... I'm NOT!   We tried ice chips for our first taste test. That worked for about 1 day! Then it was broth! That is still her favorite thing so far! Our next adventure was a move up to "full liquids" per Dr. requirements. And have found that Greek Yogurt has taken 2nd place.   It's a good thing Minnie knows what she wants because I find myself wrapped up entirely in a mind war! Keeping up with what I can offer for food and when, remembering to log all food into my fitness pal, worrying if I have enough protein and water, excercising enough and for Goodness sake don't even mention a plateau!!! I'll freak! I just want the maximum benefit from my adventures with, Minnie! It can be very frustrating. But friends and fellow VSG'rs all say just calm down do your best and it will be the best thing ever! So for now I'll have to take their word for it. Which is hard because everything I've ever tried failed. *sigh* It's almost to good to be true amd I find myself not allowing for high hopes for fear they wont' be realized. BUT Minnie has held true and taken me on an adventure I couldn't do by myself ever before. I actually WON a 'mind battle' yesterday and discovered something new about myself! I realized that I need to go to sleep earlier than I always do. (1am or later) Not just for obvious reasons, but because that is when my "munchies" start!
I actually won to not eat anything, (shake/broth/jello all of which I could have legally had) just because it sounded fun and comforting.
A great feat!! The boys and I were watching a christmas movie and I wanted something to munch. I could just taste something, anything, sliding down and filling my minnie to capacity. But I was NOT hungry! I was just fine. So I didn't eat anything. I did drink some flavored water, finished the movie and went to bed. I can't tell you how many times today, I found myself reaching for my sons red hots that he left on the table, or something else, just out of habit!! It looked good so I wanted it 'cause I just knew it would make me feel good to have something for me. A treat maybe? I really dont' understand why I have conditioned myself to this way of thinking but it truly must end!! I have purposed to find a more productive way of "treating" myself......Quilting and I make bows for our Dog Spa. AND when I remind myself that I have something better to do, I'm fine. I have purpose. so simple and I can't help but wonder, Have I traided boredom for food?? For immediate satisfaction?? What more could I have been doing all these years?? HMMMM.....well, it's something to work on and I really pray that a new habit can be formed in 30 days 'cause this is one that will be a benefit of MINNIE!!   Thanks for reading and if you have any questions make a post and I'll answer the best I can. In the mean time blogging may end up on my "treat" list too.. hehehe
msdenali

msdenali

0
princesstia's Blog
 

10 days and counting

The closer the day gets, the more anxious I become. 10 days and I will be On my way to a new life. I keep a diary of all my letters to god. Every prayer, every thanks, or when I want to express myself to the man above I simply write it down. Well, as the year is coming to an end I decided to look through my last letters to God and I truly believe this operation is heaven sent. I never realized the pain all this weight was causing me. On a mental level! Of all my prayers, 85% of them were about my weight and me almost complaining to god that he has not answered me. His word says "if you remain in me and my words in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be given unto you". Well I asked him to help me lose weight. Literally with those words. I didn't know how I was gonna do it, but I trusted god, and though some critics may call it the easy way out, for some of us it was the only way out. Some may not be spiritual, but very surely I tell you, there is a god! Ive prayed and saw my prayers answered time and time again. I've been able to accomplish and do things I could not have done in my own strength and will. I no longer worry about what will happen 10 days from today because as long as I know the man above is the force behind it, nothing can possibly go wrong.   My praises will never cease! On my way to a new me!!!!
princesstia

princesstia

1
My Weightloss Journey- 11/19/12
 

Lesson Learned- Sliming/Vomiting (My gross story)

I had my post op appointment today at exactly 3 weeks out. It was really nice to hear them tell me how great I was looking and that I was doing everything right!   Unfortunately, on my trup home, we stopped at Arby's and I got a Ham and Cheddar sandwich. I took the bottom bun off and began eating. I think I was too hungry and probably ate to fast... also, I might have not chewed it good enough... or it could be the fact that I had bread... Not sure what exactly, but all the sudden I got EXCRUCIATING pain under my ribs and back all the way across (same area as in front) and in my left shoulder. My husband asked me to rate the pain and I said 8/10. It was horrible!!! The pain continued for an HOUR almost. I began burping almost immediately, and soon, my throat felt like it was full. I was "sliming." I've heard about sliming, but it wasn't something I understood. It didn't make sense to me... It still doesn't really. All I know is that it is weird. After about a half hour I finally threw up a couple times and felt some relief, but was still about a 4-5/10 on the pain scale. I continued to burp... I suppose, making the bubbly nastiness that I threw up. I ended up throwing up 2 more times and all the sudden I felt completely better. I couldn't resist and looked at what I had thrown up. Surprisingly, there was't much food in it at all. It was slimy (hence "sliming") and foamy. Gross!!   As my doctor reminded me today at my appointment, if I were to ever throw up, I need to go to liquids for 24 hours so my eophagus can unswell and recover. Spiffy.   According to my Wii Fit weigh in, I didn't lose any weight. Sounds like that is pretty normal and my doctors were not concerned at all, so I'm happy. It will come.   I went clothes shoping for Christmas picture clothes and grabbed sizes 3x, 2x, and 1x. I skipped trying on the 3x in hopes I would be out of that size. (I can't stand tight clothes at all so I bought bigger clothes) The 2x's were too frumpy looking and fit funny, but the 1x's actually worked for me!!! I was SHOCKED!!! Depending on the shirt, I would still like to lose more weight to fit in them comfortably, but most fit great. That was a mini-success!   My birthday was yesterday so I feel this surgery was the best gift I could have ever gotten!! I got my life back!
blessedw2

blessedw2

5
Mission Slimpossible
 

Knocking on onederland's door...

Ok, perhaps I'm being just an itty, bitty over dramatic BUT I'm literally kocking on onederland's door!!! I weighed in at 200.4 this morning. Oh my gosh, I can almost taste onederland's. It's been years since I've been here.   I'm so excited. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see 199!!!
Domika03

Domika03

2
FLORIDAYS' Blog
 

My jeans have only 2 buttons...

If I could figure out how to post a pic from the iPad I would show you....I don't think I have ever had a pair of pants that had two buttons... Evidentially my daughter tells me they are low rise and that's the way they are supposed to be... Who knew? LOL.   I am finding out all kinds of new things as life as a thin person.....
FLORIDAYS

FLORIDAYS

3
tjeep34's Blog
 

Lapband didn't work for me

Hey there, Happy Holidays! Was wondering if I could ask you a couple questions about the lapband? I had the surgery June 5 and i have lost 20 pounds. I have not lost a single ounce since before Jennifer's wedding. I have had 7 fills. (my band is 11cc and I have 8cc in it now.) I am eating a calorie restrictive diet. But I am able to eat as much as I could before. I am not snacking in between and I am not exercising like I should. My doc says to be patient and that my weight loss will come next year. I am so lost right now, I am not sure what happened and if its even gonna work. I don't know what to do, just thought maybe someone could give me advise.
tjeep34

tjeep34

7
desertmom's Blog
 

Murphy's law

The moment I say my hair is not falling out anymore,hands full come out.   The moment I say eating is now stress free and easy,I have a bad day...lol   Today was a bad day and counting the caramel popcorn I had at the movies (went to distract myself,ok,not...to eat popcorn) my calories was about 1500 for the day I believe.Wont know as I dcided not to track today.   That was at lunch time and of course it did trigger a worm in my head.For dinner I tried to be good,had 3oz of turkey breast and capsicum but an hour later I found some chicken livers my housekeeper had made with perri-peri and onions and I ate about another 3oz of that.Then I was on a roll.But,I stopped myself and have had 3 huge cups of tea with milk since then.   Funny thing is Stress really gets to me these days where as before the surgery I was tough.Really tough.My kids nearly fainted when they saw me cry a month or so after surgery as I am not,or was not,the crying type,ever!   I live thousands of miles from my family and when things go wrong there with one of them I feel so isolated and powerless.but what bugs me more is that I have physical symptoms that I can only think is stress.I am not sick but have a huge fever blister on my lip.My back and face for that matter have broken out in acne-like pimples...I look like a teenager at the moment.   Of course before we go home we always groom ourselves a lot and pretend we always look like this...hehehe.This time though,I am full of pimples,a fever blister,my nails are as short as they've ever been so no nice french manicure and my bras just dont fit.I am now a size 38 C cup but the problem is with a C cup the bit under the arm is too narrow to hide the jelly bits on the side of the boobs and under the arm so I either have to wear a bra that is floppy in the cup or one which makes the jelly bits show.I have gone out and bought an insame amount of clothes just because I am stressed about everyone seeing me for the first time.Stupid isnt it?   I have also developed this crazy pain between my shoulder blades and I am sure it is because my boobs are hanging the way they do.My little kid tells me my back looks like a moon so I've been looking for those posture support thingies.Problem is "due to higene issues madam" one cannot fit them and I dont have a clue which size I should buy.Also"due to higene issues madam" you are not allowed to return it.   Tomorrow I will smell the roses.My little kid is coming back from camp (was a little lost without her) and my friend from Perth is coming for a quick visit.I have taken control of my overly busy schedule.Have dumped the project of bringing a couple of guys that are on the streets in Brazil since been released from prison back to SA before christmas on someone elses shoulders (I will still donate the tickets) and the women I look after here in prison will have to wait till monday for a visit.   I also suppose I shouldnt use this blog as a sound board but should start up a diary again...lol.However,I do plan on reading this in the future when I struggle and posting some stressors on here now might help me handle future stressors and eating issues that might go with that.I will then have no excuses as this have been a super stressful year and people often say,life happened and I started regaining because of stress,yada,yada,yada! No excuses ok? No regains! No slipping back into bad habits because of life.Life is happening now too and one bad day will not kill me as long as I take control again the next day.   Should try and sleep more though as it is one thing I am not controlling very well.I almost never get to bed before 2:00am and that is bad for the weight loss.So,gallas,going to bed now.
desertmom

desertmom

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