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WHY do they do that??



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So, I told my coworkers about my decision to have the lap band...the ones I thought would support me the most have been making jabs like "I brought in cupcakes today,they're really good. Can you just eat the frosting?"..."Just one won't hurt"...and constant remark like "how was your shake? "....and at Halloween the one gal even came and ate a candy bar in front of me and said "ummm...doesn't this look good?...do you miss it?"

Seriously...I don't even have the band until 9-18-2009....what gives???:thumbup:

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People are rude and clueless, especially if they are skinny. If you dont tell anyone they wont have the opportunity to hurt you. Ignore them, be strong and stop telling people.

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That's just it...the two doing it...ARE NOT the skinny ones!...They are heavy themselves....my thin friends are estatic for me!!!

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tell them to keep it up and that your Dr. has plenty of more bands and they can use you as a referal when they get thiers

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they just wish they had the courage to do what you are doing but don't and they are jelous because once you are not the biggest anymore someone else has to take that title

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HA!...Never thought of that!!:thumbup:

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From what I've heard from others - The ones that are jealous or are rude about the entire thing are usually bigger than you themselves and are jealous because they can't get it - The ones that are supportive are the thin ones - Go figure.

This is why I choose not to tell me friends, one of them is a little bigger than me and maybe she will take it fine but chances are she won't - I didn't do this for vanity although that is a good motivation lol, I did it because I have more health problems than a 80 year old, add on that that I'm fat and it makes the problems 50 times worse so it was just the better solution for me.

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tell them to keep it up and that your Dr. has plenty of more bands and they can use you as a referal when they get thiers

Ha I like this one!:thumbup::laugh:

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"We hate it when our friends become successful"

It's just plain old jealousy and fear. Your friends are afraid you won't like them anymore if you switch sides and move over to the skinny camp.

There is usually competition between even the best of friends. (Have you heard the term "Frenemies"?) Long before I was ready for a band, my friend had GB. I had always been the skinnier and prettier of the two of us and I was threatened by her weight loss. I didn't say anything to her but my most basic urge was to discourage her so we could remain on the same level. My heart wanted to scream, "Noooo don't do this! What will it mean for ME?"

I tried to be supportive but instead asked her all the negative questions like "What are you going to do about all the loose skin?" and "Do you have a therapist to help you with emotional eating--you have to have one or it won't work" or "What if you turn out like our other two friends and stretch it all out again?!" I would like to say that I was thinking of her safety but I was subconsciously trying to discourage her.

I don't know about you but my fat friends and I spend a lot of time hating on skinny folks. It makes us feel better about ourselves. You are becoming one of THEM and it scares your friends. If you remember that, you can send love and good energy to calm their fears instead of taking it personally.

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Electra~ I have to say you are very insightful and self aware!....YOU GO GIRL!:wink2:

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So, I told my coworkers about my decision to have the LAP-BAND®...the ones I thought would support me the most have been making jabs like "I brought in cupcakes today,they're really good. Can you just eat the frosting?"..."Just one won't hurt"...and constant remark like "how was your shake?"....and at Halloween the one gal even came and ate a candy bar in front of me and said "ummm...doesn't this look good?...do you miss it?"

Seriously...I don't even have the band until 9-18-2009....what gives???:wink2:

My BOSS sat there 3 months before I had the surgery, and before I even told them I was having surgery and was talking about WLS to another co-worker. His words were "I have heard that people that do that WLS take up other addictions, like sex, alcohol, etc." So a week before my surgery I told him that I was having the surgery. Then proceeded to tell him my husband will be a very happy man because of my addiction... Point is, everyone has their own idea about WLS. Some will say it's the easy way. Some will make fun. Some will act jealous..ect. It is my experience as a mother of a 21 year old son born with Down Syndrome that the reason people make fun of you is because they are 1> Afraid to ask questions. <2 Have no clue about what the procedure (or in my case disability is> so it's easier to pick it apart. So what I do with people who do that stuff to me, and insist on eating infront of me and staying stuff. Even if it DOES bother me, I tell them, "Nope it doesn't bother me at all. I have no desire for sweets or stuff anymore. I want to be one of those statistical people that live a long and healthy life. So if you want to continue to be silly like you are, then go right ahead." 9 X out of 10, they stop because they see that it's not bothering you. Those people are called food bullies. When bullies see that you aren't going to let them bother you anymore, they usually stop. You will have all types of food Bullies along the way. Whether it be the ones that tell you, you are losing TO MUCH weight. Or the ones like your co-workers. It's hard but stand strong and don't let them get to you.

Since your surgery was on 9-18-2009, I'm assuming that your co-workers have taken on a different light now that they see you have been losing weight???

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Astrasmom~first..9-18-09 is WRONG!! *lol*...I'm not having it placed until 11-18-09...silly me!!!!...secondly thank you for your words of wisdom!!! You sound like a very strong woman....how long have you been banded???....can't wait to learn more about your story!

Aileen

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I decided to tell a few friends. One was very supportive. Another one told me she wished she could get it (she's probably a size six), another friend said "lazy...have you been going to the gym?"

they're all thin, and don't have weight problems.

i won't be telling anyone else!

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Astrasmom~first..9-18-09 is WRONG!! *lol*...I'm not having it placed until 11-18-09...silly me!!!!...secondly thank you for your words of wisdom!!! You sound like a very strong woman....how long have you been banded???....can't wait to learn more about your story!

Aileen

Strong yes. Thank you. Claim to know everything. NO WAY. I may sound like I have been banded for years but I've only been banded since Oct. 23, 2009. I've learned to be strong from all of the ups and downs that I have been through in my life. My son who was born with Down Syndrome has made me very strong. Also having open heart surgery in 2001 for an Aortic Anuerysm. I'm just a person who is fed up with food controlling me all of my life. I'm ready to kick some food butt. I'm down 37lbs since I started this war against food and I plan on keep going. :wink2:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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