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I made it to WONDERLAND, so why don't I feel better?



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Today I stepped on the scale and it said 199. I have not been under 200 pounds for 10+ years. I thought I would be jumping for joy once I reached this point, but I still feel gross. I realize that I'm getting smaller and losing weight, but I still see the fat girl in the mirror. Are any of you experiencing the same thing? How can I get out of this slump and start to love myself?

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I think that most people have difficulty loving them selves. It seems to be part of human nature that we are never satisfied. When I was younger I usd to weigh around 48kg and I was always on a diet. I only wish I weighed that now! I look back at photo's and wonder why i wasted so much time dieting and being unhappy.

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Today I stepped on the scale and it said 199. I have not been under 200 pounds for 10+ years. I thought I would be jumping for joy once I reached this point, but I still feel gross. I realize that I'm getting smaller and losing weight, but I still see the fat girl in the mirror. Are any of you experiencing the same thing? How can I get out of this slump and start to love myself?

It can take time, be patient! You've lost nearly 50lbs in just under 3 months which is HUGE!! You should relish in the fact that there is 40+lbs off of you! Regardless of how you see yourself, you should be very proud!

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Therapy maybe? Plus, have you taken pictures so you can compare? Have you changed your wardrobe a little or are you still wearing the same "chubby chick" styles? Have you changed your hair? Do you feel different inside? 199 is just a number. It's not all that diffferent from 201, or 197. See my point? Thinking we'll hit a magic number and life will be better is wrong.

Start now with positive self talk, and do some nice things for yourself (a new smaller blouse or a makeover at a local beauty counter, for example) and your perception may catch up. AND like I said .... therapy. You may need to mourn for the "fat girl" who is being shoved aside by the thinner one.

I weighed so much that my motivation was to feel better physically, not to look better. So I'm lucky; it's easy for me to realize I'm getting around better, not short winded, BP is low, etc etc. If you're doing it mostly to "look" better (and hey when I was your age and had I been your weight that would've been more than enough motivation for me!) you need to work at seeing how you are.

Many of us overweight people don't really LOOK at ourselves. When you lose and start to look you think

OMG! But you aren't gross. You weren't gross when you weighed 248. You won't be gross when you weigh 192 either LOL

Do some nice things for yourself...materialistic, totally splurgy selfish...and you'll start to feel the love.

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I was looking at my chart today. It's been 16 weeks and 20 lbs since I stepped into Onederland. Now at 179 lbs I remember how it did feel. For me it was great. But, remember that there may be more going on that is affecting how you are feeling. Afterall, I'm assuming you are a woman? We do have our yucky moments now don't we??? Give youself a few days for it to sink in.

BTW. Don't expect your body to look different to you. I was talking to someone yesterday about that. When I look in the mirror what I see is pretty much the same thing I saw 86 lbs ago. I still have the same rolls, the same "issues" I had but they are just smaller and fit in different clothes. Try to look for the little changes like being able to feel a bone you forgot was there. Does your chair seem more roomy now? Do you use as much of the seatbelt as you used to? What are others saying to you? Surely they are noticing. I think they see more clearly than we do sometimes. Listen to them.

At church yesterday I got so many comments on how wonderful I looked. I had seen these same people last week. They didn't gush over me then. What was the difference? I had got a hair cut is all I can think of. It really is the little things. Things that we can't really even see.

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Girl, I know exactly how you feel! It is almost like the "ugly duck" syndrome. You feel so "yuk" for so long, it is really hard to get past it! I have made it from 218 to 155, so far, but I still feel 218! I pick every little thing out about my body that I hate, where as before I just choose not to look at it!

It is tough, and at a young age like I am, 23- looks go a long way, unfortunatly. I really believe that time will make all the difference, I am just affraid that I wont be satisfied when I get to goal. Good luck & if you ever need anyone to relate to, please email me! :)

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I was more excited being able to zip up a medium Columbia jacket (bit too tight yet) from a tight 3xl Columbia jacket than I was going under 200. Sometimes I still feel I look like I did 100 pounds ago. You need to get some before and after pictures. It helps a lot to actually see the change. Seeing yourself in the mirror everyday doesn't let you see just how different you are.

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I was looking at my chart today. It's been 16 weeks and 20 lbs since I stepped into Onederland. Now at 179 lbs I remember how it did feel. For me it was great. But, remember that there may be more going on that is affecting how you are feeling. Afterall, I'm assuming you are a woman? We do have our yucky moments now don't we??? Give youself a few days for it to sink in.

BTW. Don't expect your body to look different to you. I was talking to someone yesterday about that. When I look in the mirror what I see is pretty much the same thing I saw 86 lbs ago. I still have the same rolls, the same "issues" I had but they are just smaller and fit in different clothes. Try to look for the little changes like being able to feel a bone you forgot was there. Does your chair seem more roomy now? Do you use as much of the seatbelt as you used to? What are others saying to you? Surely they are noticing. I think they see more clearly than we do sometimes. Listen to them.

At church yesterday I got so many comments on how wonderful I looked. I had seen these same people last week. They didn't gush over me then. What was the difference? I had got a hair cut is all I can think of. It really is the little things. Things that we can't really even see.

This is so true....It does not matter how much I loose or how much differernt I look I still see the same person in the mirror. I do feel healther, and can tell a difference by my clothes and that I have energy to exercise. But when I look in the mirror I see the same person I saw 80lbs ago. I don't know if it will ever change unless I can reconstruct my stomach some day. Oh well that is not in my budget right now. Good luck to all.

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The mirror - it lies.

You are seeing a phantom image.

Don't go by the mirror. Don't expect too much. Look for all the ways you life is better because of the loss. My surgery was just days before yours and I have SO many things that are better. THAT is what matters.

F%#@ the mirror, ya know? It's not the boss of my feelings.

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Thanks to all of you for your kind words and support. I guess I need to try to work on how I think about myself and ignore the mirror. Turns out this journey for me is about more than just weight loss. It's about learning how to appreciate myself too.

Good luck to everyone!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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