Jealous People

[wintobethin 5]

How do you handle family and friends who are jealous of your weight loss? I had my band put on Jan. 16, 2009 and have lost over 40lbs. I had a cousin come up to me at a wedding yesterday and commented about my weight loss. She said "I heard you got the band". I don't see why you did that:cursing:!!! Look cuz I was 100lbs over weight!!!! Heading for Diabetis, and heart disease, no thank you!!! I told her how much less I was eating and she said well why couldn't you do that without the band? I had other people at the wedding tell me that I looked GREAT and that I was glowing:thumbup:!!!! I hope that my idot cuz heard the good comments! But, like I said, what is a good come/back to her! By the way, she is about 150lbs over weight or more:ohmy:! It just upset me a little of her negative attitude! She is in her mid 60's (age). Thank you!

Edited August 3, 2009 by wintobethin

[emjay 8]

You hit the nail on the head. Jealousy. Maybe she took comfort in the fact that you were also overweight. Ignorance is another factor. The person I work with made a similar comment and I just looked at her like she had a third ear. I mean really. Some don't understand because they can't relate. Others take comfort in knowing that your faults are visible and they can commiserate with you being in the same boat as them.

I applaud your efforts to make a positive change in your life. Don't let her even get to you. Her opinion shouldn't even matter to you. If you really want to shut her up, lose the weight and they tell her you would be happy to give her some of your "fat" clothes. That will get a reaction!

[MsFab1988 275]

my come back would of been "well atleast I aint fat no more...and if losin weight on ur own is so easy, wuts ur excuse? lmaooooo

[lisa6 0]

i haven't had the surgery yet(2 1/2 weeks away) but i have been putting up with negative responses too. all of them are from my family and best friend that are as obese and more so than i am. my husband is convinced that they are jealous. the worst is that they are the closest people in my life and i feel they have abandoned me. all i can think is that you would think that if they loved you, they would want you to be alive! sometimes i think people confuse it with cosmetic surgery. know this-you are not alone!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I had a cousin come up to me at a wedding yesterday and commented about my weight loss. She said "I heard you got the band". I don't see why you did that:cursing:!!!!

My answer would've been:

"I don't see why you wouldn't"

but I am a cheeky monkey

which may be a big reason people don't usually say stuff like that do me. As in never yet, but I'm ready! LOL

[Portola Suzanne 3]

i haven't had the surgery yet(2 1/2 weeks away) but i have been putting up with negative responses too. all of them are from my family and best friend that are as obese and more so than i am. my husband is convinced that they are jealous. the worst is that they are the closest people in my life and i feel they have abandoned me. all i can think is that you would think that if they loved you, they would want you to be alive! sometimes i think people confuse it with cosmetic surgery. know this-you are not alone!

They are probibly scared because when you see its possible to change and you don't want to its easier to knock or belittle what ever it is. Drinkers don't like it when people in their lives get sober. Overwieght people don't like it when people in their lives lose weight. But just know you will be healthier and happier! You will also be a good example with out saying a word. Stay on your path and congrats on starting this journey!:biggrin:

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I've been fortunate in that most of the people in my life have been very kind and very supportive. I do have a sister however who doesn't even talk to me anymore and I believe it is because she can't stand the fact that I am in a healthier and happier state of being then she is.

Here is how I look at the situation with my sister. She can jump on board and be loving and supportive or she can wallow in her own negative energy without me. It really is her choice to make, not mine.

Don't let others derail you from your goal. Stay on track and enjoy the journey. Life is just too short to spend it around miserable people.

[libriteen 0]

Negativity only breeds more negativity. I would have just ignored the comments. Focus on yourself and what you've accomplished so far instead of having to defend and explain yourself. Think about how much farther you can go, and just remind yourself your cousin will probably stay the same.

Edited August 3, 2009 by libriteen
spelling

[KarenK 0]

It's disappointing, isn't it? When the people you expect to support your decision end up being so mean about it.

I think you just have to develop a thick skin (so to speak) and appreciate the support you do get. For me, some of the people at work have been very supportive and say it's inspirational. Others whisper behind my back.

Be secure in your decision and ignore the haters. You're doing what's right for you.

[Donnainva 0]

my come back would of been "well atleast I aint fat no more...and if losin weight on ur own is so easy, wuts ur excuse? lmaooooo

I do like the way you think:smile:

[Catherine55 43]

Negativity only breeds more negativity. I would have just ignored the comments. Focus on yourself and what you've accomplished so far instead of having to defend and explain yourself. Think about how much farther you can go, and just remind yourself your cousin will probably stay the same.

I totally agree with Libriteen. Taking the high road is the only way to go. Clearly your cousin must know how hard it is to lose weight and keep it off, since she struggles with her weight, too. I think it's bizarre that she was trying to act like it's so easy when she clearly can't do it on her own any more than the rest of us could!

I got around this issue by not telling everyone about my surgery. I did tell most of my family and all of my closest friends, but I didn't tell a few people who I knew might make petty comments. I just was not going to sign on for that kind of thing.

I also did not tell people at work in order to keep my work/life privacy balance. That's been a little harder because I really like several people here, and they have been really supportive. I'd like to tell them, but I also know that the best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself!

Hang in there & ignore the haters! :biggrin:

Catherine