Hostility from the jealous unbanded

[moonbeam 1]

Wow I had quite the experience yesterday. I was in my local emergency ward with throat closed up so tight I couldn't swallow my spit (strep throat, nothing to do with the band) But the larger sized nurse started asking my about recent surgeries etc. I told her about the band. She looked at me in disgust and said I was too small to have that done, and that SHE would certainly not pay thousands for dollars for the procedure. I mumbled something about her not knowing my family history and my weight history of the 50 up 50 down pattern. She was right in my face about it. She was of course obese and her attitude was almost disdainful, like I could not claim the privilege of being fat enough to get the band. This was my first really negative response to telling someone. It surprised me coming from a health professional. I have come to the conclusion that I don't care. what she thinks. Only we can decide what is best for us.

[chantel03 0]

i completely understand what youre going thru. im 247 pounds and although i may not be morbidly obese, i am obese. im the one who has to look at myself naked everyday! im the one who would fight tooth and nail not to go to ANY venue that requires a bathing suit! and im the one who see's all the stares from the "skinny ones"!

we make this choice on our own and no one has the right to voice their opions! shes just mad because deep down inside she knows if she could afford it, she would be right there with you.

i cant wait to get banded! and proud of it!lol:tt2:

[elcee 3,343]

Thats one of the reasons I'm not telling anyone that I don't have to. My BMI is 32 and I know that I am very overweight and cannot lose it permanently on my own. I don't want or need people saying that I'm not fat enough or have taken the easy way out or I should just eat less and exercise more.

[LindaD 3]

I would have asked to speak to her supervisor. What she did was VERY unprofessional at the least, and probably in violation of their policy.

That's bullshit. NONE OF HER BUSINESS.

I got mine put in at 238 on the doctor's scale so maybe some wouldn't think I "need" one. They may not know that I was 288 just months before that. They absolutely would not know any co-morbidities, like type 2 diabetes or high blood pressure, etc.

I wouldn't have put up with a health care professional speaking to me like that. I hope your throat is better soon, though.

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

It's odd that the people who put you down for doing it are people who are also overweight or obese. I think they are jealous you had it done and they haven't or are afraid to do it or maybe they were turned down by their insurance company and they are pissed off.

I tell everyone, 99% think it's great. 1% don't so I just tell them don't knock it till you try it. They shut up especially now that I am just overweight and not obese and can wear regular clothing. Size 12 jeans.

I went in Victoria Secrets and tried on their new fancy 7-1 bra, it's maybe half a size too small. So in 10 pounds or so I will got get one. Perfect for the summer. Can wear it 7 ways. including strapless. It's comfortable and although a tad expensive $50 it's worth it.

I am happy that most people want to know more about the surgery. I find teenagers, in stores that work there are really really interested. Especially the overweight ones. I tell them it's the best thing this old lady has ever done for herself.

I hope I have converted a few of them over to the "band side" LOL

I would have reported that nurse and told her off....how dare she act like that. Totally unprofessional. Oh how green was she?????? LOL

[ChanginMyStars 0]

I myself am unbanded but will be joining the "banded gang" in October and I can see where the nurse is coming from as far as her green eyes. I would have been jealous of the fact that someone smaller than myself was able to get the band, only because it has been the biggest fight of my life to be able to get the band for myself. HOWEVER, I would have NEVER treated someone who had the band done before me as poorly as she treated you. She had NO right!!! Everyone is different and our needs are different. What you do with your body is your own business.

Like some, I am not telling anyone who doesn't need to know about my haveing the band done. Tho I am not telling people because I don't want them to say things like "She only had it done because she wanted to take the easy way out" or "She never tried to lose weight on her own" Anyone who has done their homework on this surgery would know that this is going to be far from easy, it is a complet change in frame of mind and a totally new life long commitment and lifestyle. Plus, what I do to my body is my own business and mine alone. I will do whatever I feel is important for my health and frame of mind.

I couldn't agree more with you and your thoughts on her opinion!

[trish c 0]

I was bended on 5/26 and haven't told too many people. I'm not wanting to hear all the negative responses. I talk about the lap band to get there reaction before I would proceed to tell them about my surgery. My husband and kids have been great support and I only care what they think.

[Kristine73 1]

I would think of all people, a nurse who knows the risks of morbid obesity, would not be so negative. I'd have asked for another nurse or a supervisor. You can always write a letter to the hospital about the behavior of the nurse, w/o getting into to much personal detail. I've done it before.

When I was young, naive and just married (19 yrs old) I wound up in the ER for an ovarian cyst. The doc would NOT allow my hubs in with me for the exam, even though I requested. Then when the doc was alone w/me he started telling how he likes to beat women. My hubs was (and still is, lol) 15 years older than me. When I got out of there he could tell something was wrong. When I told him he was furious. When we got home he typed up a letter, had me read it to verify that every thing was valid then mailed a copy to our ins co and the hospital. We got a letter of apology from the hospital and the doc and a copy of our letter was going to stay in his file to haunt him where ever he went. Our ins o wasn't to happy with the doc, either.

Ok, sorry about the novel, the point is that is you feel the nurse crossed a line with you, the only way to let her know it's not acceptable is to put it in writing and fire off a copy.

I am in college studying biology, I want to teach. But many of the courses I a taking are pre-reqs for the nursing program. What we learn aout how obesity effects the body truly opened my eyes. That nurse has had training and should have applauded you for being pro-ative in your health.

Kristine

[Shamrockgirl60 1]

I would think of all people, a nurse who knows the risks of morbid obesity, would not be so negative. I'd have asked for another nurse or a supervisor. You can always write a letter to the hospital about the behavior of the nurse, w/o getting into to much personal detail. I've done it before.

When I was young, naive and just married (19 yrs old) I wound up in the ER for an ovarian cyst. The doc would NOT allow my hubs in with me for the exam, even though I requested. Then when the doc was alone w/me he started telling how he likes to beat women. My hubs was (and still is, lol) 15 years older than me. When I got out of there he could tell something was wrong. When I told him he was furious. When we got home he typed up a letter, had me read it to verify that every thing was valid then mailed a copy to our ins co and the hospital. We got a letter of apology from the hospital and the doc and a copy of our letter was going to stay in his file to haunt him where ever he went. Our ins o wasn't to happy with the doc, either.

Ok, sorry about the novel, the point is that is you feel the nurse crossed a line with you, the only way to let her know it's not acceptable is to put it in writing and fire off a copy.

I am in college studying biology, I want to teach. But many of the courses I a taking are pre-reqs for the nursing program. What we learn aout how obesity effects the body truly opened my eyes. That nurse has had training and should have applauded you for being pro-ative in your health.

Kristine

Oh how awful, were you alone with that pervert when he did your internal? How scary is that. Since the 1970's at least all my doctors have a nurse with them when doing exams. It's the law I think in MA.

I am glad you reported that jerk. How sick is that.

Great your going back to school good luck.

That nurse needs a letter put in her file so she can be warned not to treat patients so horrid.

[moonbeam 1]

Thanks for the support guys. I agree. I'm going to give them a call or write a note. I don't think she had any right to ask me what it cost either. Some people are just plain ignorent.

[Kristine73 1]

Oh how awful, were you alone with that pervert when he did your internal? How scary is that. Since the 1970's at least all my doctors have a nurse with them when doing exams. It's the law I think in MA.

I am glad you reported that jerk. How sick is that.

Great your going back to school good luck.

That nurse needs a letter put in her file so she can be warned not to treat patients so horrid.

No, I wasn't alone with the creep of a doctor during the exam, there was nurse there. They did an ultra-sound on my ovaries and it was when he came back into the room to go over the results with me. Every sense, I have demanded that my hubs be allowed in with me, when he's there, and I havn't had a problem. I had endometriosis and PCOS (though I was not dx'd for either until I was 21). My hubs would always go with me to important appointments. I know I am very lucky to have a supportive hubs. But, it took him about 6 months to become comfortable with this procedure.

Moonbeam, you need to do what ever possible to ensure that you get the level of care you deserve. I've found it's better to send letters along with making phone calls. The higher-ups can ignore a phone call, they can't ignore a letter.

Good luck

[CapitolChick 1]

She hates being obese and is projecting her angier of herself onto you. And! she secretly will contemplate getting a surgical procedure in the future - swamie says

Rude people suck.

big hugs

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Wow I had quite the experience yesterday. I was in my local emergency ward with throat closed up so tight I couldn't swallow my spit (strep throat, nothing to do with the band) But the larger sized nurse started asking my about recent surgeries etc. I told her about the band. She looked at me in disgust and said I was too small to have that done, and that SHE would certainly not pay thousands for dollars for the procedure. I mumbled something about her not knowing my family history and my weight history of the 50 up 50 down pattern. She was right in my face about it. She was of course obese and her attitude was almost disdainful, like I could not claim the privilege of being fat enough to get the band. This was my first really negative response to telling someone. It surprised me coming from a health professional. I have come to the conclusion that I don't care. what she thinks. Only we can decide what is best for us.

I have to admit, this is a situation I would have enjoyed. I would have taken great pleasure in giving her a bit of attitude (okay, a LOT of attitude) and a bit of education. I would have gotten right back in her face and explained how it all works and I would have explained that I did not want the path she clearly has chosen.

I would never dream of being insulted by her behavior, I would have enjoyed the pleasure of watching her back down. ;o) But, that's me.

Thanks for the support guys. I agree. I'm going to give them a call or write a note. I don't think she had any right to ask me what it cost either. Some people are just plain ignorent.

Again, I wouldn't have thought twice about telling her the price. Plant the seed, you know? All of us have issues to work through, including nurses.

The only people that have ever been that way to me are obese people who have had WLS and are not overly successful with it. THOSE people are brutal. When I was so sick with a band and needed a revision before I was so ill I would no longer be a good surgical risk I had a few that insisted that if I didn't have the band removed, gain all my weight back and THEN have a revision then that meant I was anorexic. It was weird, 100% of the time the only people who were on my tail about getting a revision without waiting to regain everything back were WLS failures, people who were not able to do it with surgery. Those that were doing well or at goal they were 100% supportive.

I have a hunch that nurse was going through her own stuff. I'm not sure I'd write a letter to the hospital, but I would contact her and let her know how she made you feel and take it from there. See what her response is. THEN go to the hospital if you are still not happy.

We all have our demons, that's why we needed surgery.

[Jachut 487]

Lol, you are and I are rather alike I think Wasa. I would have put her right on the spot and watched her squirm.

I like the way you put it, Moonbeam, - people do seem to think that as a lower BMI patient, you dont have the priveledge of being truly fat, you cannot know the pain of it and therefore you have taken the easy way out in having the surgery. They seem to think you should suck it up and REALLY suffer.

You'll find that attitude in several thread on the rants n raves board too, people seem to forget that EVERY single one of us here had a BMI of say 32 at one point in time. What would you rather, get on top of it before it gets to 45 or the waits till you're so far gone you need WLS AND seven different plastic surgeries and ten years on fourteen different medications?

[kaninag 35]

That sucks! Being a nurse myself I know that nurses are taught from day one to NEVER pass judgement or show emotion when a pt comes in telling something that the nurse doesnt agree in. So, that being said it would have been on for me! I would have def shown her some attitude right back. If shes that unhappy about being fat then she needs to do something about it instead of projecting her anger to her pts-I prob would have so gotten her fired, its unethical treatment of pts!!!

How would she have reacted to the next pt that was 15yrs old was raped and wanted to have an abortion?!