Why does this upset me

Cherry_Blue · April 14, 2009

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant (yay on the home stretch). Before pregnancy I was 107, now I am currently 119 kilos, not too bad considering.

When I was pregnant the first time I weight 147 kilos and went through my whole pregnancy without one person touching my belly or commenting on my pregnancy. i always felt wripped off, infact after my son was born, i remember a local shopkeeper asked whos baby it was, when I said mine, she didn't believe me

But anyway, i always thought this time aorund would be different, I thought I would show and I would get to experience strangers touching my belly or wearing cute maternity clothes, but no such luck.

Today I walked to the local fresh produce store to stock up on bananas (yum) and the lady asked me when I was going to have another. I told her I was 30 weeks pregnant and she didn't believe me. She told me that I didn't look pregnant and there was something wrong with my baby. She prceeded to ask another customer what she though about my belly:cursing:

I couldn't help it, I left my bananas and ran out in tears, vowing to myself never to return. I know I put up with this with my son and he turned out to be a 9 pound healthy boy. But I have to tell you, I feel like I am missing out, I feel pissed off............Why :sad:

ziahmama · April 14, 2009

you have a right to be upset,people can be so rude and they act like they havent done anything wrong. im so sorry cause you really dont need the extra stress but just try not to worry about because in the end as long as you have a healthy baby that is all that matters. i have a friend that is also like that she doesnt show until like the 7 month and even until the ninth month her tummy is still soft and she has healthy 6lb 15oun babies. i think with people that dont really show their uterus tilts toward the back instead of the front when the are preg and the uterus comes up out of the pelvis. cause you are not really big at your weight. my friend is also plump being like 228lbs before preg but she has a nice body shape and does not carry alot of weight in her belly so we know thats not the reason she doesnt show. on the other hand i have a friend who is 34 weeks preg and she was 220 before preg and she look like she swallowed a watermelon. i advise you to wear your cute maternity clothes and be proud of your tummy it is a god given gift to carry healthy babies always remember that no matter what stupid people say. something that may help is wearing the full tummy maternity pants may make you look rounder. dont let people make you cry remember when youare upset it makes your little one upset also. you are preg and thats all that matters.

eejaydiva · April 14, 2009

don't be upset! These are the moronic/uncaring/mean people I kindly refer to as the Pregnancy Police. They are experts at all things pregnant and enjoy spreading their advice and criticisms to others...sometimes they haven't even been preg! There are no guidebooks or perfect illustrations of what pregnancy should look like. If you watch TV and movies, the women are all glowing and stylish with cute little basketball bellies and no other issues. THIS IS NOT PREGNANCY! My mother was glowing and gorgeous with her biggest baby, my brother. She looked round and healthy, but she was at her sickest and most tired with him. She had diabetes and lots of complications. With me and my baby sister, she felt fine, but looked awful....there's no right way to do this.

As far as strangers touching your belly, remember it goes both ways. I'm 6 months along and have had 2 or 3 scary situations where people touched me and it was very odd. I'm not talking about the cute little old lady, but a homeless man who left a big smear of grease across my stomach...I felt icky all day. If I don't get touched ever again by random people, it will be fine.

Daisalana · April 14, 2009

Couple of things.. My belly didn't show till I was about 34 weeks pregnant! And in the past 2 weeks (I am now 38 weeks) I am unmistakably pregnant. But before 34 weeks it was questionable.

I just looked like I was getting fat, the downside is obviously I just looked fat. BUT (this is a big but for me) people didn't try to touch my belly, which I considered a blessing. I really don't like people touching me, especially people I barely know. Now people at work think it's ok to touch me, but I have no problem backing up and pushing their hand away heh heh.

Also, because I look SO pregnant now, everyone is always asking me how I am feeling, when I am due (same people, every day) and it is really annoying me, especially since I am anxious too!! I don't need a reminder everytime I walk down the hall that I am waiting minute to minute.

The other thing.. 'cute maternity clothes' HAH.. hah.

Click the blog in my link below, the latest post I made is how HORRIBLE maternity clothes are.. MAN I hate them. I can not wait to be back in normal clothes. Maternity clothes are not cute, they're a scam.

Cherry_Blue · April 15, 2009

Couple of things.. My belly didn't show till I was about 34 weeks pregnant! And in the past 2 weeks (I am now 38 weeks) I am unmistakably pregnant. But before 34 weeks it was questionable.
I just looked like I was getting fat, the downside is obviously I just looked fat. BUT (this is a big but for me) people didn't try to touch my belly, which I considered a blessing. I really don't like people touching me, especially people I barely know. Now people at work think it's ok to touch me, but I have no problem backing up and pushing their hand away heh heh.

Also, because I look SO pregnant now, everyone is always asking me how I am feeling, when I am due (same people, every day) and it is really annoying me, especially since I am anxious too!! I don't need a reminder everytime I walk down the hall that I am waiting minute to minute.

The other thing.. 'cute maternity clothes' HAH.. hah.

Click the blog in my link below, the latest post I made is how HORRIBLE maternity clothes are.. MAN I hate them. I can not wait to be back in normal clothes. Maternity clothes are not cute, they're a scam.

Thanks, wow, 38 weeks, only 2 more to go, yippee for you. Good luck with the birth and for the weight loss that follows

Cherry_Blue · April 15, 2009

Thanks for your replys. I was in a low mood last night and hearing the other side really helped. The thought of some stranger greasing up my belly is gross:scared2:

My husband suggested that if anyone questions the fact i am pregnant to reply to them by saying "Ok, I'm not really pregnant, you obviously know better" and see what they say.

I guess when you are pregnant, you feel so vulnerable, so at the mercy of what other peopel think. I know it sounds silly, i am not usually like this.

Thanks again:cool2:

HeatherO · April 15, 2009

I thought it would be great this time around too. I lost my weight and was at a normal BMI and a size 8 pants and medium tops. I haven't gained much so far and at eight months out I am just beginning to show. Two weeks ago (at 30 weeks) was the first time someone said anything about me being pregnant without knowing me personally and knowing that I am (although her daughter may have told her since she knew and I was visiting her daughter in the hospital after she gave birth).

Other than this, not a single person has approached me, so I don't really look very pregnant. I am carrying the baby mostly internally and my ribcage certainly hurts and I am already finding it hard to pull in deep breaths. I had almost no belly fat even when I was heavy because I am a pear shaped, butt and thighs kinda gal.

I can still wear my normal size 10 pants buttoned at 8 months pregnant but the size 8's are a little too uncomfortable. I can still wear medium shirts but I have a bit of a muffin top going where I look bigger in the front and the sides - I just look plumper with a lack of any waist although my arms, legs and face look skinny.

So if I mention I am expecting and people ask how far along I am and I say I am at eight months, they just look at me like "wheres the baby?" lol. I have been around a few people lately that are one to three months behind me in pregnancy and are significantly bigger in the belly than I am.

The only person who really notices my pregnancy and makes comments everyday on how beautiful my stomach is and how obviously pregnant I am is my dh. I think it is because he knows that it bothers me that I am the most unpregnant looking pregnant woman around . . . and I have trained him well of course, lol.

There are some people who are insensitive the world over and it doesn't even matter what the situation is . . . they just have to splatter their opinions and thoughts ungraciously all over anyone unlucky enough to enter their sphere of influence. I can't help but give people like that a piece of mind, even if I am not in the limelight and am just an innocent bystander.

I wouldn't stress too much about it since we all carry our babies differently.

mypov · May 18, 2009

My dreams of the cute basketball belly never came true. I seemed to gain weight all over and just looked pudgy. A week befor delivery I was still having to convince others I was pregnant. It bothered me a lot but I am not sure why! The end result of my beautiful baby is nothing I have to explain but I always felt I missed out on looking pregnant. Ah well, what can you do?