Family & Friends telling Me I'm Obsessed with Losing Weight...Does it happen to you?

[amonroy 0]

It must just be my day for frustration, but I've let it build up over the last couple of months blowing it off. I do everything i'm supposed to do to lead a healthier life. I've had good weight loss, eat healthier, exercise, and i'm happy. Seems as though some of my friends and family like to tell me i'm obsessed with losing weight. I am not obsessed, I am determined to live a healthier way of life. One of them being my best friend since we were 5 (30 years) she told me she wants me to still be me and is afraid I am turning into somebody I never was---THIN!!! Yes she said that to me! My aunt told me the other day that I need to slow down and actually said I was obsessed. Now these two comments being from people who are also trying to lose weight, and I understand their struggle, of course i've been there and if I could have overcame it I wouldn't have needed surgery. But the big differnce between me and them other than surgery is that I am exercising and eating right...I didn't do this to not make a life change. Why are there always such downers. Everyone has to do what's right for them. I don't know if they are just jealous....but they claim to be "worried" about me. Worried about what? Me being healthier than them? I don't get it. Can anybody tell me if they have people like this in their lives and how do you deal with it? I know I should just shake it off, but today it just really bothered me. Thanks everyone :w00t:

[haroldrussi 0]

I have friends who think I am just fine at the weight that I am and don't think I need to loose it at all. I on the other hand know that I was at least 100lbs overweight or my insurance would not have covered the surgery. So I think the medical community knows more about the proper weight we need to be at than most non-professionals. I hope that helps you and gives you something to say back to them the next time they make those comments....

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I'd consider the source, honestly. I have a BFF who's been my friend since we were 6 (and that's 48 years now! LOL) and if she told me I was obsessed about something, I'd have to listen to her. She's always had my back, never ever tried to undermine or hurt me, and loves me like a (good) sister. So if she said I was obsessed, I'd know she'd struggled and worried about it before telling me, and I'd have to talk to her and find out why she feels that way. I have some (more short term) friends who are more competitive and if they said I was obsessed, I'd probably still ask them why, but just to chuckle to myself about their opinion.

So only you know your friend and your aunt and your relationship. My friend isn't overweight and has never been...but she loves me and wants me healthy and happy.

In the final analysis, only you know the answer to this. If you live and breathe weight loss, maybe they are right. If you've just changed, they need to get on board...maybe just talking to them about it (and their own struggles) is what's indicated. You probably are changing, and they are both probably a little scared (or at least put off) by it. Help them see your side.

[Mrs. Bubba 0]

amonroy, I can sure see why you are frustrated.. The only way I can compare this to my life is that my 25 year old daughter was very against me having the surgery at first.. She has always said that she doesn't see the fat, just the Mom!!! I had a couple close calls with surgery in the past and she was very scard that something would happen to me... Now, she is fine and really doesn't comment much unless I bring it up.. She would like to lose 30 pounds and I try to encourage her all the time... Anyway, do you suppose that these two people in your life are a bit jealous and insecure because you are being successful and they are not? That can do it sometimes.. Once a long time ago I lost a lot of weight all on my own.. I was in my 20's... Well, I had a serious breakup and one of my best friends was the one to push food at me when I got depressed.. Of course in my weakened state I couldn't resist and ended up gaining all the weight back... She wanted me back.... the old friend she knew.. I have often wondered what my life would have been like if she had done the opposite and helped me to continue to be healthy and slender.... Can't even guess now, but I do think you need to just keep doing what you are doing.. If they don't come around you will probably just have to start limiting your time with them.. They'll soon come to understand that this new you is the real you and someone you love.... They will, too... Best of luck.. I'm sure things will work out.. Julie

[amonroy 0]

Thanks everyone for your replies so far...it's been helpful...I guess I needed some support today. I really do not think im obsessed I dont even talk about my weight loss or diet because I didn't want to feel like I was pushing it on anybody or make anybody feel uncomfortable and sick of hearing about it, they could obviously see I was losing weight. They would ask me for advice or questions and i'd give it to them but never push them to do something. It's them who are constantly asking me, then they say i'm the one obsessed. I guess you can't please everyone :w00t:

Mrs. Bubba--I think you hit it on the head with my best friend, I myself went through a bad break up before I was married and i'd always been heavy and lost some weight and she would push food on me because she wanted "ME" the way she is used to me being, I was her eating buddy and we'd always go to lunch or ice cream sundaes. We both have families now and dont get to spend as much time together but I do believe that maybe she is jealous. Although I love her like a sister, we have had our moments. Now that you say it I sincerely believe she is insecure and needs to realize i'm still me, I just look different. She has always been thinner than me and got the guys, now i'm thinner than her (but dont need a guy anymore) and happy. I think she was used to seeing me so unhappy, I don't know. As for my aunt, I think she is a worry wart, she has been a mom to me since my own mom died (part of my inspiration for surgery) so I can more deal with her worry I guess.

Thanks for the encouragement.

[MacMadame 81]

I have this saying on my wall:

"'Obsessed' is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated."

It may or may not apply here. :w00t:

[JulsJourney 3]

By obsessed are they telling you that you are being selfish about your weight loss? I think that in order for all of us to be successful, we need to be a little bit selfish. Like we need to make sure we have the right foods around us, we need to make sure we do not revert back to old, bad habits, we need to care a little more about our health. All of this may be new to your friends and relatives. I think so many times we that have weight issues compensate for our perceived bad body image by being giving and unselfish. Those that we love and trust must come to grips that we have made a life changing decision, and that along with the weight loss, good health and proper excerise routine comes a new outlook that cherishes the self! This may look selfish to them when in reality it is self-ful!

[dlmyvette 12]

You know....I think sometimes our family and friends unconsciously say things that are not uplifting. They don't mean to be hurtful or rude, but they just can't help themselves. I wouldn't be too discouraged. You're not obsessed you are succeeding and doing well. You should feel very proud of yourself and continue your journey with pride. You made a very important step to have the surgery and change your life for good. Why would anyone think you wouldn't change?

My sister the other day (she's overweight also and trying to get some type of weight loss surgery in the future) said to me....You know...It's been 2 months since you had your surgery and you've ONLY lost 20 pounds? That is too slow and I'd be concerned that I wasted 14K on surgery that isn't working....I was insulted, but instead I told her, well, I'm not concerned. The doctor says I'm right on track and doing just fine. Plus I've always been a slower loser, why should I expect to lose weight so rapidly? From the beginning we were told 6 to 8 pounds per month is the norm....So why now is she being so negative?

I choose to ignore those comments....I'm losing weight and that's all that matters. My blood pressure is normal and I'm wearing clothes I wasn't able to wear. I'm happy! Leave me alone! LOL!

So, NO YOU'RE NOT OBSESSED, you are doing great!