I am the only one frustrated?

[bigpapa2 0]

Man its getting hot in hear! i think there are people who arent making a informed enough decision when it comes to the band but I also think that you can be told things about this process before hand and just not understand it fully until you have the band. What might but hard or hell to one person might not be for another. There is a lot of information I have got from this site that seem to be different when i went to my local support group. i also hope that if a person has a chance they should attend as many support group meeting as possible before getting the surgery. I love this site but there is nothing like talking to people face to face in a support group before I got my band. i went to 4 month of support group meetings before I got my band and still go every month now after 6 months banded. I love getting new info my people that have been banded longer than I and talking to people I might be able to help. I never had to do a liquid diet before my surgury and i have read about people on here that had to do one for weeks before getting banded. I'm not sure if i could of handled that...cant even put my mind around doing that. So thats it for me. I think it is so cool that people can ask any kind of question here or just rank if they need to. We all need to lose our minds every now and than.

[als74 1]

DeniseF,

I am a newbe myself with questions. But you must admit, some of the posts are down right rediculous. If you paid for you daughter to have surgery, and she ate a big burger 2 days later, would you feel the same? Doubtful. I love good questions about what to eat and when and stuff, when it is before they do it. But to just go out and do that kind of stuff- then ask for forgiveness? They knew it was wrong before, during, and after. I know we all make mistakes, and to err is human. I make mistakes too. All I was saying is that it frustrates me. Ironically you seem to be the one telling me I shouldn't feel that way. If you don't feel my frustraion, why did YOU post? I was really just looking for others who feel bad about being frustrated, like me.

[HeatherO 7]

Some people seem like they are less than informed on what they should be doing.

I think for most people posting these kinds of threads, the primary problem is that they are just non-compliant and not following the rules. They know what they are supposed to be doing but just don't follow it and are looking for feedback (and unfortunately sometimes looking for justification to continue doing what they are doing).

Banding is not easy and we all have slip ups in the beginning, but wantonly disregarding the post op diet and rules on a regular basis is the easiest way to fail the band.

Everyone of us has the ability to succeed or fail at this, we just have to decide which side of the fence we want to be on - and then take personal responsibility for the results.

[als74 1]

HeatherO,

Just out of curiosity, was wanting to have a baby a motivation for you to get the band, or was is a coincidental blessing. I would like to have another baby, but at this weight, it would kill me. I made this choice for many reasons, but having a baby was up way up there. Plus- ya know- living long enough for the family I have...

[DaMomb 1]

I've been very well behaved when it comes to following the doctor's eating plan, but I can see how people can screw up. For the most part, we're addicts.

Well said Veronica. I had no idea it would be this hard. I was well informed, but have been eating post op. I hope that I have not hurt my band, but being on here tonight has helped me to hear some things I have needed to hear. I am going to try my very best to get back on the wagon tomorrow. Start out with a Protein Shake like i did on the pre op.... It does make me sad when people are so judgmental. We are all in the same boat here and looking either for some help or hoping we might be able to help someone... I, for one, know that I have screwed up, and am not blaming anyone (surgeon) for not informing me. I am just admitting my own weakness and looking for a little support.

[anillacookie 0]

Ok not only that but every Dr. has his own do's and dont's. mine said drinking soda would kill you within five minutes. Your pouch would explode. LOL??????????? so I don't touch the stuff even flat:rolleyes:

[Coco6399 0]

I dont think there is such thing as a stupid question or post. Sometimes when I am feeling alone with this band and I think that I am the only one experiencing something, I will read the posts on this forum and it helps. I agree with Heather O when she say that sometimes people are non compliant and looking for justification to continue doing what they are doing. I was one of those people(during the holidays) because I ate badly and did not loose any weight, however I would read posts to see who else had eaten badly and I did not feel alone. I knew better and I am doing much better getting back on program. Did my doctor explain everything to me? No. He sent me to a nutritionist who spent all of about 10 minutes with me. She gave me the handout for band and told me to follow the guidelines. I guess I needed more directions as to what to expect when I ate certain foods.I take this band very seriously and I am aware that I had major surgery and the reason I had the surgery. I value the support and I am starting to attend the group support meetings because not matter what the doctor say or the nutritionist said, I need to talk to people who have the same issues I have and listen to their solutions. If I had to do this whole thing over again, I would in a heartbeat. I am becoming more informed about this band through this forum, my friends who have been banded and my support group. Thanks for letting me vent. I was only upset with myself and I too needed to hear someone give me a hard reality check because I need honesty and not understanding when I do the wrong thing.

[bambam31 168]

I wish the mods would post a sticky explaining what bandster hell is and another explaining the whole double double (cheeseburger) issue... Especially since these types of questions show up almost daily - if not several times a day. It gets tedious answering those posts but it's clear those people need guidance and quickly! It would be much easier to have a sticky to point them to.

Brad

[sandielaw 0]

I totally agree! A sticky might help reduce the number of "I'm 2 weeks out and not losing, wtf?" posts. Those do get old...but I know my surgeon didn't explain that part to me, so I understand that people are upset and frustrated.

[amberd910 0]

If you dont like the post, dont respond. Some people are just niave. Some might be looking for the attention or "drama" that it might start. Everyone needs to worry about themselves. You didnt pay for that person's surgery so if they screwed up, oh well. If they want to continue eating burgers and fries right after surgery, it's their band they are messing up, not your's. They know what they did was wrong otherwise they wouldnt even have posted it! No point in getting your pannty's in a bunch when it's not your life. Just my 2 cents

[Aries32 0]

I must admit I have been pretty shocked when reading that someone during post op is eating a burger. I guess people with eating disorders will find themselves struggleing big time. I try not to pass judement and hope that I can continue to be strong. Nothing anyone post is going to fustrate me. I think the reason this site was created is to learn and support one another.

[als74 1]

As I have said before, it is NOT the posters who make occational mistakes or overeat over the holidays- no one is perfect- I am talking about what I call BCB's (Badly cheating bandsters) who sabatage themselves during healing or don't use their band correctly frequently. If you posted "I messed up and overate, gained 5 lbs over xmas, what was I thinking," that is fine- lots of poeple do this. It is the posts that say "should I have been able to eat like this?" that gets to me. Those people want validation, not support.

[BethFromVA 5]

If you dont like the post, dont respond. Some people are just niave. Some might be looking for the attention or "drama" that it might start. Everyone needs to worry about themselves. You didnt pay for that person's surgery so if they screwed up, oh well. If they want to continue eating burgers and fries right after surgery, it's their band they are messing up, not your's. They know what they did was wrong otherwise they wouldnt even have posted it! No point in getting your pannty's in a bunch when it's not your life. Just my 2 cents

I understand that. However, though I did not pay for their band, there are others who are newly banded or who are considering the band that may get confused OR believe that they can "cheat" early on like others did. It's not the admitting the cheating that gets my goat -- it's all the others that say it's okay that they did it and not to sweat it. It's NOT okay, and it sends a bad message to potential new bandsters.

[BethFromVA 5]

Those people want validation, not support.

BINGO!! As do the ones who "did it too" and tell others that it's okay.

[miranda robinson 0]

as one post pointed out,the problem if needing to be banded is due to addiction to food and with all addiction the emotion part of learning to quit the eating behaviours that landed us in this position is deniel of that addiction. the brain plays a huge component part in any addictive behaviour and some find this harder than others to beat it. the difference between alcoholism and overeating is that we have to eat to live and this makes thing emotionally so much more difficult to conquer the desire to eat the things that make us feel happy and contented. the knowledge that this is also a brain disorder needs to be adresses as well and it is not just an issue of stupidity.

Edited January 10, 2009 by miranda robinson
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