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Hello everyone..

My wife is CanadianChubling here.. time to make my introduction..

I am 39 years old male.. originally an american moved to canada about four years ago (grimsby ontario area).

I have always been fat.. since my first computer at age 13.. Apple IIe.. It was love at first site, i went from a hyperactive pre pubescent to a huge bulgy man. I am 6'4' everything about me is big, I need XXXL gloves, Must wear custom watches, have a size 8 1/2 head, can pick up a basketball with one hand. I have always been heavy, just how heavy always been hidden by my extreme size. If i asked people how much they thought I was about 50 lbs ligther than i always was. I am 6'4" but have always had a 31" inseam, I am not sure if this is why, but this high centre of gravity i think always made me very, unathletic. This coupled with absolutely no desire to compete with others in my age, i think put me on the slippery slope.

I have lost 60lbs on weight watchers, when i was divorced. Its easy for a man to go home to all the salad you can eat, grilled chicken breast and a diet coke 7 days a week. I liked the way it felt, I liked that i was more able to work ( i can work 12 hours a day, but i feel wiped out when i am done now) sex was better. I liked the way it made me feel.

My wife and i were married about three years ago, and have lived together for about 5+ years. Unfortunately like a certain canadian band (the bare naked ladies) song goes, Im like a baby, shes like a cat, when we are happy we both get fat. I have put all the weight back on.

A few days before our first wedding anniversary, my wife was sitting in front of her computer, adjusted her bra strap, and found a lump, which turned out to be cancer. It was quite a roller coaster, that completely changed everything. She spent a year on super strong steriods, gained weight very quickly. We sort of adopted a "if it feels good, do it" lifestyle. Not reckless living mind you, but sort of a .. Fuck it, I will have another piece of cake, indulgence, because, to be honest life is too short.

She has been two years cancer free, and we have spent our second christmas in florida (3 weeks) I work all the time, she has semi-retired :) and we both have put on weight, due to me being an overnight chair jockey, and her a full time World of warcraft player. (i bet there are a few of those on here). In this time we have spent here, we pretty much decided to have this done, I am rapidly approaching 40, and i CAN NOT continue this lifestyle. I see these old folks down here, riding around in scooters, very obviously put there do to weight related issues. I can see her or me being there when we approach that age. It has been proven to me that life is too short. I know this system works. I know this will most likely be the answer i am looking for. I figure if it helps me lose 100 lbs, in ten years we might have a better answer, and this system is (relatively) easily removed. I have had friends who have lost 200+ lbs. and it completely changed their lifestyle. One in particular has gained alot back (gastric bypass and stomach stapling) i asked him if it was worth it even for ten years thinness, and he definately said yes.

Now, its really not a vanity thing for me. I am completely comfortable with who i am. I just would like to lose 125 lbs, so i can be more fit. I plan on doing excersize as well, I have a treadmill that i plan on setting up, so that I can do that hiking and walking i have always wanted to do. In country backpacking, canoeing, kayaking.. all those things i cant do now.

The hardest thing i am facing is losing one of my lovers.

I Love food.

It makes me sad that there is the possibility i wont enjoy pizza again, Ceviche. A really good mole', Home made beef Jerky. I can tell you this is certainly a hard decision. I am really a foody, i make my own bread by hand. I LOVE to cook. I came to the realization that, i just have to give it up, its an unhealthy relationship. I need to change my life.. We had a good 40 year run, but I just need to let it go, I cant continue like this.

I do realize that i will possibly be able to eat alot of these things.. but will 3 bites of a nice piece of aged strip steak satiate me? I hope so. Id like to hear from some of you that how well you did after your surgery with the things you just loved, that you just cant eat anymore (make you ill)..

I know i will be ok giving these things up, i have decent willpower, and i know with my wife and I being buddies in this thing, I think we will do ok.

Can a nice long bikeride by the lake replace a nice warm baguette? I dunno, I hope so..

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Guess what? Follow the rules, do what your doc says, and odds are good you'll be able to eat a variety of that food you love...you'll just be satisfied with way less of it. Mole, Ceviche, etc. This isn't a "salad chicken and diet coke" kind of a lifestyle. The band is a tool and you will learn to use it in a way that works best for you. Some still weigh and measure every bite, some do WW, some get so much restriction they PB every other bite...and some just go out there and live their lives. (As one poster put it...I didn't go through all this to eat cardboard the rest of my life"

So welcome and good luck. I think you'll both be pleasantly surprised. My doc does stress exercise but that's ok. They've found 30 minutes a day of exercise can help keep alzheimer's at bay. So more good brain time in front of the computer. A small investment of time now for a longer future full.

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Hi, I read your post and was wondering how far along in the process you are. I am from Canada - Brantford actually, have a sister in Grimsby and parents in Beamsville - and I am trying to get the ball rolling. I was told that I could go to the U.S. and get the surgery done covered because it is quite an expense. Do you have any information at all that you would be willing to share? Thank you, SandyC.

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Are you really not allowed to drink coffee or tea with the lap band?

It depends on the surgeon and nutritionist; they all have different rules. Our nutritionist bans it and being the curious sort I asked "WHY?" She said "It makes some people hungry". It does NOT make me hungry, I have unsweetened iced tea, and am doing fine!

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I wouldn't borrow trouble, as my granny used to say. Your surgeon may not restrict caffeine and if s/he does, ask why. If it's just "makes some people hungry" and doesn't impact you that way, then you can decide. I do NOT support the "ignore your doctor what does HE know" mindset, but as I said, I've had coffee and tea without ill effect since about 1 month post op. (I wanted time to heal just in case there was something odd about caffeine and healing)

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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