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Need to vent...i just dont get it!



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I just dont get it....i read the forum daily and from what ive been reading it seems as though folks either ....1. dont get after care dietary instructions from their doctors or .....2. are disregarding the medical recommendations given to them. I just sit here and shake my head and wonder why in gods name would anyone willingly subject themselves to a voluntary operation then not follow the guidelines.

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I think you have to remember there are people with varying degrees of illness getting banded.

You have people with truly disordered eating.

You have people with real issues they dont know how to cope with other than eating.

You have people that cant take any responsibility for their own actions and decisions and expect the band to "do" something for them. The biggest thing I've learned on here is how many obese people are victims. Everything happens TO them. None of it is their fault. They blame their obesity on everything but their own actions. They think the whole world exists just to descriminate against fat people. This is the group I tend to really lose my temper with. Its such a waste of time to be such a wimp.

You also have people who have NO idea what a healthy diet is and genuinely think they're doing the right thing.

You have people with metabolic disorders such as PCOS, problems like diabetes, physical disabilities that render exercise difficult etc.

If you wiped all of these factors then perhaps you would have 100% compliance.

But I agree, I tend to think that getting banded is the hugest, most positive step any of us would have taken towards attaining a healthy weight. If you cant even muster up enough willpower and enthusiasm to make it through the first weeks, then what hope is there?

You know though, I've been on here long enough to see that that's not the case all the time. Plenty of people go into this misguided and get a shock at how hard it is. But plenty of them also then get their asses in gear and learn to work it.

But the ones that say "but I"m hungry" or "but my friend's doc says this is OK", I just think "oh boy".

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Jachut, what a perfect response. I agree whole-heartedly 100%.

I also found that banding was more difficult than expected in the beginning but I did stick to plan most of the time. I was not as prepared as I could have been but I think part of that was not actually knowing anyone who was banded. I wasn't willing to risk banding not working for me by disregarding the instructions.

I am not surprised that some people find excuses not to follow their guidelines. However, what bothers me more than anything are those people who tell others it is OK to disregard what they have been told and to do what they want . . . and then those same people get angry if anyone calls them on it and start saying things like "this is supposed to be a SUPPORT forum" or that people in support of following the rules are pushing their opinions on everyone else, etc.

I really don't feel like any of us are truly victims . . . we must live our own lives and take responsibility for our health and futures. Bringing others into the "lets do whatever we want" camp is harmful.and I think some people do this just to feel better about or find justificiation for the decisions they are making.

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On the one hand, I get mad when someone says "I had waffles at 3 days out, is that okay" and someone else says "I did it and I was fine".

But OTOH sometimes the doctors do give out bad information or they have a lot of arbitrary rules that science doesn't support. Like never eating coconut again or not drinking from straws or not taking the right Vitamins.

So what do you do then? I have a friend who was told to get *no more* than 40 g of Protein a day in the first 6 months after a bypass. This is HORRIBLE advice. She posted it on the boards and was set straight. What if no one had been willing to say "don't listen to your NUT; she's wrong!" ?

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Lots of awesome posts on this thread. I too feel if somebody is eating steak or other heavy solids just days out from surgery, they have much greater issues. However, people don't seem to want to hear that.

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Sometimes it is hard to break old habits. If we could follow the doctors orders, we wouldn't have needed the lapband in the first place. How many of you were told by your doctor how to eat right and what kinds of exercises to do in order to lose weight? Most of us, I would say. Were we successful? No. That's why we needed the band. I can't really understand how within the first 6-8 weeks post op people could faulter so soon, but I can understand how after 3 or 4 months postop people slack off on the Protein, start eating brocolli and some breads and other things the were told to stay away from. (I do it myself sometimes, but then I remember what I went through with the surgery and all, and tell myself to get back on track because I've come this far.)

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As usual Jachut well said !!!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

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      3. Doughgurl

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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