I canNOT believe this... I had the most beautiful, touching, wonderful 1st post to this new thread and "POOF!" -- it's gone!

Maybe it's the cyber-world telling me it's time to get to bed... good night, my lovelies!!

Busy day... went to Longaberger Basket Bingo for the HS Soccer Boosters but didn't win... "almost" a few times!... my mom got to shout "Bingo!" & she won a nice basket filled w/movie stuff... candy, popcorn, Blockbuster card... cute!

Moral dilemma of the day... my friend/neighbor who's wife died of cancer on Xmas eve (w/the 10yo son)... their house is in SHAMBLES... seriously, it could be on one of those organizing tv shows... it was never "House Beautiful", but it's WAY worse now... w/ 2 big guys & a kid living there... I don't know how they manage it... so the dilemma is... do I do anything? I've offered to help, I've talked w/him, & tonight I had to go over to take some meals & my friend wasn't home & I slipped on trash on the kitchen floor so I picked it up... then I picked up some more... & then before I knew it I had a whole trash bag full... & the BIL is standing there saying, "John's going to be mad at me if you clean up much more" and I said, "Tell him not to stand me up" (we'd pre-arranged this time for me to go over... he was supposed to "pay" me w/a G&T, lol)... & I said, "It's all trash. None of it is anything else." & it was... empty cracker boxes, lids from things, straws... I think since it's so messy, when something drops they let it or don't notice or something... it's NO environment for a kid to be in, I know that... it's not lethal... there's no spoiled food or flies or anything like that... mostly just piles of papers & boxes & layers & layers of stuff... everywhere! I know they're still adjusting to life w/out the mom... & I'm sure every woman who goes in there has the same fantasies of cleaning it as I do... in fact, I know 10 gals who'd go w/me to do it... there's no judgment in it... just wanting to help them... but is it my place to talk w/him about it? Or is this just the way some folks are/live & it's not my business? I don't know. I know I freaked out the BIL by the teensy tiny bit I did tonight. I actually brought the bag home w/me & put it in my trashcan! I don't know... a group of gals cleaned it up pretty well before the mom came home from the hospital the last time... but in a blink it was back to shambles... so I feel like he'd have to be part of the process... but again... is it my place to be the motivating force behind it? Is it possible? The mom couldn't keep up w/his mess... how will the BIL? My thoughts go 'round & 'round... I want to help, but don't know if I should or even if I did if it would stick... + is it my business??

Discuss.

Gosh, Michelle -- that is a tough one! My instinct is that if you say anything at all, he will probably just get defensive by saying, "Oh, no .... that's alright, we can manage." I mean I can't imagine someone that's able-bodied saying, "oh yeah, that'd be great if you'd come over and clean my house!" ...not to mention he probably wouldn't want you messing with this stuff. The only thing I can think of is "suggesting" a housekeeper that you or another neighbor have good experience with...that way it maintains his privacy. I dunno.

I wish I could do that quote thing, because what Terry said about an able bodied person saying no????

I think the man is overwhelmed, people can come clean all they want, but until he gets to the bottom of his grief/overwhelmence he probably will have it that way again in a couple of months. I think maybe if you include him in the cleaning it might help since it is a lot of stuff you may not know whether it is trash or a keeper.

I just want you all to know, that if you would want to clean my house, that is fine. I will even help you!!!!

Hey...

We are home from a fun, warm and exciting adventure in San Diego. It is 2.5 hours away...and it was a perfect day! We walked along the marina at the Seaport Village. We bought Carson a present, and a few other gifts and things as well. Then we drove to Coronado and drove around there as well. Then we went to the naval base and shopped at the PX (which is actually an NEX...Naval Exchange). Then drove home...and got home at 9:30! For us that is crazy late! But we had a blast!

See ya'll 2morrow!

Good morning, Violets..

Jenn.. good luck with your weather today. We got DUMPED on last night. I think we have about 10 inches of new snow and the wind was howling last night so it's drifted all over and it's still snowing!! I know I won't have much of a choir today so we'll have to wait and see if we can do the anthem.

Michelle.. don't know what to tell you. It's a tough situation. You know the mom would have been mortified to see the mess, but the rest of the family is just living like guys normally do and are perfectly ok with it.

Jane..I'd gladly fit all the Violets in somehow. We really need to think about taking a cruise together sometime. Prices for 2010 are VERY reasonable. I know the Bobster wouldn't mind a cruise with the Violets on board!!

Off to get ready for church. The Bobster is snow blowing so I can get out of the drive.

Everyone have a great day!!

funny you say that about cruise prices, Judy. Yesterday my sister and I were talking about spreading a portion of my mother's ashes (the rest are in a big urn at the cemetery) and spreading them on the ocean from a cruise liner. My mother LOVED cruises-- went on 8 or 10 of them I guess. She was able to do that because natural gas was discovered on some family farm land and that's how she spent her royalties. Fast forward to 2009....and now we have inherited that same land along with our 7 other cousins. It's pretty hard to manage 150 acres with 9 owners!! So we're all in agreement that we should sell the land in the next year or so. Sister and I decided we should take our portion of the proceeds and take our whole family on a nice cruise together and spread her ashes then. Isn't that just the coolest how it all ties together one last time? I think Mom was whispering in our ears yesterday!

Her favorite cruises were Alaska, Norway and the Mediterranean .... hmmmmm. I vote for the Mediterranean!!!

Edited February 22, 200917 yr by TerriDoodle

Michelle-as much as you wanna help, I think he would be offended and I think you should just leave it alone. I mean, if you say something, be ready for him to get a bit PO'd....but who knows, he may surprise you and accept the offer...I doubt it, but maybe! Or you can just lie your butt off and tell him that he won a years worth of cleaning! If someone told me I won it, I would be all over it!! lol

Terry-that sounds like a wonderful thing to do and I am sure your mom would LOVE the idea!

Morning gals

Judy - THANKS. LOL It didn't start here yet but I'm on the border of getting 1-4 and hit with 10-12.

Hope this is the last one, seriously this has been a long horrible winter here and I'm ready for it to be done.

Tracy - I'll add you this morning when i get back from breakfast

Pamela - I LOVE San Diego, I'm jealous

I'm going to email you the stuff on the Med diet right now, I'm going to re-print it and make a grocery list for the week

Good morning everyone - hope you all have a great day, I am going to spring clean downstairs today, I got my room and my upstairs bathroom and ds cleaned his room yesterday, he is so funny, loves to make his bed

Well, off to breakfast, I want an egg and corned beef hash...

Well, it looks like we got the 10-12 inches last night and church choir is cancelled. I'm not even going in to church and I'm just a couple of miles away. Our road isn't plowed nor are the main roads and probably won't be till later. No money in the budget for overtime for the road commission.

Terry.. that sounds like a wonderful idea. My favorite cruises are the ones to the Caribbean. The water color is unbelievable! Course Hawaii might be my favorite after next month.

Well, I'm all dressed for church, but not going so I'm going to get back into some jeans and a sweatshirt and enjoy my morning. Rehearsal this afternoon at 1. Hopefully I can make it to that!!

Being so close, I've been to the Caribbean a few times already...and yes, I agree! The water is unbelievable!! Going to Mediterranean is a pipe dream....I just doubt my sister would go for it. It would be nice, though...I probably wouldn't get DH to Europe any other way!

JENN - Did you ever finish your kitchen?? I don't think you posted pics of the finished product!!! Helllooooooo!?

Morning Gals,

Sitting here drinking my hot chocolate and have the fireplace going.

Judy, could you send us some snow. Seriously, we need the precip. We have had only about 2 inches so far and hardly any rain. Looks like we are headed for drought this summer. Stay warm and safe.

Terri, what a lovely idea about the cruise. Your'e right, your mom must have been whispering in your ears. And I would go without hubby if he's not interested- it's all about you and your Mom anyway.

Michelle, I don't know what to say about your friend and his house. I know that I would appreciate having someone come and help out but I'm not in that position. Just take it nice and slow and be gentle in your approach.

Pam, I haven't been to San Diego in over 35 years. I'm in envy of you. So glad you guys had a great time.

Not much on my agend for the day. Watch a few movies and do laundry. Put a pork roast in the crock pot. That's about it.

Have a great day.

I'll get some pictures later, still have trim left to do but finally done for the most part.

I'm planning my deck and new door going to the deck now. I'll take pictures of my messy living room later too.

I may not get a family vacation but will have a beautiful 22x18' deck to enjoy

Michelle- I would suggest a housekeeper thing.. That's how people end up on the news with the most disgusting houses, taking the child from the home, etc. It spirals out of control before they realize it!! The girl I work with that this happened to last year, that's how she said it started.. she was depressed and it just piled up 'somehow'.. she's actually in jail right now, and they took her 2 sons.

We are NOT going back to the childbirth class today. It's from 12:30-5.. with a 1 hour lunch break in there somewhere. Well yesterday she kept plugging along and said, how about we skip lunch and get out of here an hour early. Room full of pregnant women ready to pop, and she says this. People agree, because going home early sounds good--the chairs are the hard plastic chairs, my butt hurt SO BAD. After all that, not only did we NOT get out an hour early, she ran OVER 30m. By time we got out, I was nauseated from hunger and walking with a limp from the pain in my back. I'm not doing that again. Luckily the breathing/relaxation techniques were taught yesterday, and we got the overview of what is going to happen when we go (she is L&D nurse at the hospital we're using). I was surprised to find out, our hospital induces at 38 weeks at 90% of the time. I didn't realize they were that common?!?! She said it's for the doctor's convenience. Well ain't that special. So I may not get to see what labor coming on naturally is like. On the other hand I do like the idea of 2 weeks early (smaller head) and getting to meet him 2 weeks early!! My mom kept talking about how first time moms almost always are later than their due date, so I was kind of anticipating that.. apparently they don't let that happen at all, so no one ever goes past their due date.

They played the birthing video, Russ turned pale and pulled his hat down (as not to watch). He was in good company, 2 other guys were pretty much grossed out by everything we were hearing and were vocal about it.

What were you doing in San Diego Pam??

I told work I would create a new brochure for a service we're offering, I have yet to feel the creative juices hit me.. I got on this morning hoping to feel inspired.. still nothing

How many years does it take to get to 40th anniversary Judy???

My parents just celebrated 32 last year.. they got married a month out of high school.