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Things People Pass Off For Compliments and Things Skinny People Say That Piss You Off



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I can so relate to most of the things I've read here. My parents are also on me about my weight, but my mom is nice about it at least. My dad is just mean and cruel. He's said things before like "fat b!tch" etc under his breath, but knowing I could hear him. My mom is where I got my food issues...she has them too. I feel like she had me on a diet the day I was born, and YEARS before I was fat. It was like her biggest fear was for me to end up being fat. She wanted me to have bypas surgery years ago. One thing she's done repeatedly though, that really did hurt me, was how she's always trying to play matchmaker for my cousins, my brother, etc but NEVER, not once has tried to fix me up with someone. Not that I even want her to, but the fact that she doesn't even try when she does for everyone else says tons about what her opinion is of me. One of her co-workers wanted to hook me up with one of their regular patients once a few years ago. When her co-worker mentioned it in front of the guy, he asked what I was like. The first thing my mom told him was that I was fat. Nice, huh?

There was this guy I really liked, that I kinda flinged with off and on. It was ALWAYS him calling me to get together, etc, but sometimes he would disappear out of my life for several months or a year. I always left it up to him to make contact, and he to this day keeps coming back. We first met in 2000 and this had gone on for several years. Then in 2006 I was on a date with someone else and we were on our way to a Nickelback concert. This was in March, and at this point I hadn't heard from the first guy since before Christmas. Out of the blue, I get this text message from him while I was on the date. It said "you're a fatty...hit the gym if you want me to come running". Uh, what?! I never expected him to come running! I never even initiated contact with him EVER! I was so got and it totally ruined my whole night. The craziest part though is that he STILL periodically contacts me wanting to get together. I haven't seen him since before that text message, and I decided then that I never would unless I was thin. I can't wait to get thin and "accidentally" bump into him.

I've also always gotten the "pretty face" comments, and once had a guy tell me "you'd be hot as hell if you lost weight!" and thought I should take it as a compliment.

Oh, and one thing I've noticed, having been both fairly slim and as heavy as I am now...guys behave totally different in your presence as a fat person than they do as a thin person. I have a hard time trusting guys because of some of my experiences with them as a fat girl. Experiences that weren't even directly about me, but things they say about other girls in my presence because since I'm fat they apparently don't even consider me to be a girl. Horrid things they say about girls they supposedly even like and care about. Since I'm fat they don't seem to even realize they're saying these things in the presence of another female. Those things always stick with me and so even when I've looked good, I've had a hard time trusting that a guy is genuine.

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wow....I did get the

You have a face now....

What the hell did I have before? geesh.

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I loved reading these posts! I also have about a million that I could add, most of which are the ones that are directly said to you or supposed to be for your own "good".

I am glad to see I am not the only one with th mom issues lol. My family ( my mom dad and younger brother) called me "big girl world" forever.... it sucked. My mom is small and always has been, plus she is always on some health kick... Fiber bars, exercise bootcamp, etc. I would always combat her "compliments" or "advice" by asking if the toast she had today was delicious or not.

She pulls out pics of me back in high school or when I met my husband and I was pretty thin sz 11 ( for me was small), and always has to be like, "you were so pretty, huh". I always wanna go yep that's what bulimia will do to ya huh, at least my breath doesn't smell like vomit anymore!

I have a funny one though from a second grader at the school where I work. - A couple years back we were collecting cans for our habitat at school so I hauled in a large bag full of crushed cans that I had been collecting for a while.

The kids were amazed by the large amount I had brought in (grade level who brings in most pounds every month gets a popcorn party), and one little boy that usually has good manners umps up and says, " Wow that's why you're so fat cause of all that soda! You drink too much soda."

I was so embarrassed and didn't even know what to say, I did want to say , "well they aren't soda cans they are beer cans from my husband, and the cokes are diet so there!" But of course I just stood there in shock and later reminded the class of good manners and not being rude to others.

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I work in a pretty small area, I would say 50 sq ft. And we have a TV we can watch when the job gets boring (the reason I am fat, ok maybe not the only reason).

So about 4 guys were sitting in chairs (chairs with wheels) watching TV, one was my best friend. I came in to work and grabbed a chair. I sat in it and rolled over to the TV area.

A tape (Computer system backup) mount popped on the computer and I grabbed two tapes and begain to roll over to the tape drives (maybe 3 feet away).

Just then my so called "best friend" said: "beeep, beeep, beeep ...". Like you hear when a garbage truck is backing up or something. Everyone looked and laughed. He said he didn't mean it in that way but it hurt so bad.

Wow I almost cried just reliving that to type it out.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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