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This stinks!

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After dieting for 40 years, I finally just gave up. All of the medical literature agrees that for many reasons, diets don't work for most people. I read the book, Intuitive Eating, and decided that I wouldn't spend anymore of my life being a slave to food. I learned to eat when I was hungry and to stop when I was full. I didn't lose weight, but I was no longer under food's emotional power. I actually became one of those "crazy" people who could take just a few bites of a candy bar and save the rest for some other time (never before could I do that when dieting--the no-no foods had to be eaten right away in their entirety because I was never ever going to eat that again!) I made peace with myself and had finally admitted to myself that I was a fat person. Always before, I couldn't admit that I was fat--I was just a "thin person trying to get out." So just like the Serenity Prayer says, I decided that being fat was not one of those things that I could control ("God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.). The only problem was that my new PCP just kept bringing up wls. During this last month, I've read a lot on this site (as well as others) and eventually I decided that I was ready to have lapband surgery. What stinks now is that I've lost my serenity! Now that I've come to believe that with the lapband I may actually be able to be a normal weight again, I can hardly stand being fat anymore! I hate my clothes more than ever! I can't stand squishing myself into my car's seatbelt! I hate that my knees hurt all the time! I hate that I can't get a good night's sleep anymore! I hate that I literally waddle when I walk! I'm very uncomfortable in my body now. What really stinks is that I'm possibly looking at 6 months until I even get a surgery date. I guess I need to accept that the (s-l-o-w!) process of getting to the surgery date is now another one of those things that I can't control--if only serenity were as easy to come by as is discontent! I feel all antsy--like a kid waiting for Christmas to finally get here. I call this new feeling the "Unbearable Fatness of Being." Does it eventually go away, or does it just get worse until you finally get the surgery and start to really lose weight?

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"The unbearable fatness of being".....I really like that twist on the movie title. IMO, the wait doesn't get any easier, Willowcat. In fact, the difficulty of the wait is inversely proportional to the surgery date (as the date draws closer, the wait is harder). However, by facing and subjugating some of your inner demons already, I think you'll have a huge advantage once you do get your band. Good luck!

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I have to admit that at the beginning of my six-month doctor-supervised diet and exercise program, I was very frustrated and impatient to get the surgery done as soon as possible. I resented having to stay fat another six months. However, at the end of the six months, I actually came to appreciate the fact I'd had that extra time to really think about things and make 100% sure that I did want the lap band. It really made me feel good about my decision, that I hadn't rushed into something too quickly.

Good luck with your wait. I hope it goes by quickly for you!

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Yeah, it's hard waiting for the surgery and to be honest it's hard while the weight comes off as well. You will ALWAYS want it to be faster and it seems it comes off SooOooO slowly.

The best thing you can do is just tell yourself not to worry about it. Know that you are making all the right choices and try not to obsess about things you can't control. This is easier said than done, but it helps! :drool:

Then awhile after you are banded, you will begin to hardly recognize yourself in pictures. When you get a glimps of yourself in windows, you kinda think "who's that?" It's a lot of fun!

It really is an amazing trip, but you need to slow down or it will make it a much LONGER trip than it needs to be. :w00t:

That's my advice for you.

Best of luck!

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